Express Yourself Authentically

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Hey, my friends, it's Brendon Burchard and welcome to the Brendan Show. This is a podcast about helping you reach high performance in your life, in every area of your life. It's about staying more motivated, more confident, more disciplined and on purpose. You know, the high performance experience is really about feeling more vibrant, more connected, more excellent, more fulfilled in your life. But it's also challenging you because you and I both know it's difficult to reach those levels of high performance without support, without ongoing commitment and dedication to your own personal development. So welcome to our HPX community. Thank you for joining us here on the Brendon Show. I'm super pumped for today's episode. Before we begin, I want to let you know that we have specials right now on our HPX nutrition line. If you didn't know it, I rolled out three specific products to help you with your performance. These are three specific supplements that will really give you the edge. Now, don't worry, I'm not starting an MLM or a downline. I'm not asking you to promote any of my products. And frankly, just like you, there's a lot of different companies and a lot of different products that I love and I enjoy and I'm not trying to compete with. It was specifically, I could not find three world class supplements that specifically helped me in these areas. So we've got HPX Optimize, which is a mental focus and energy product for your brain health. Then we've got Essentials, which is a functional multivitamin which we've basically enhanced for longevity, for joint health and for vitality and digestion. But what we did, instead of like making a multivitamin where they sprinkled a million different things in there that actually have no effect, we put in dosages here that you'll be amazed by. And then finally we've got HPX Organic Boost, which is the energy drink mix that I take because it's 100% organization organic. It's actually delicious too, I have to tell you that. So go check it out. Hpxwellness.com, everything you need to know is right there. And if you've ever wanted to know how to reach the high performance experience in terms of your biology and physiology, these products can really support you. Go to hpxwellness.com and without further ado onto today's episode.

In the present, here's another. Another big key to your happiness. This is huge. Expression. Write it down. Expression is everything to your happiness. Expression. So huge. So huge. Some of you have not expressed what you really think, feel, desire, and want to the person you're sleeping next to every night. Some of you, because you got hurt, you express yourself like this. Some of you, you've had a dream for years, you told one person at one time and they put you down and you haven't said it again. These are causes of emotional turmoil. You have to learn to be more expressive, no matter what the consequence. We found that high performers, one of the highest ratings they had across all the categories. We measured over 100 performance variables, and one of the highest ratings they had was that they consistently expressed what they thought, felt and needed with other people. And they also stood up for other people when they did that. High performers, in other words, are courageous leaders. They let other people and they encourage other people to speak with courage. Like, they wanna know, what do you think? What do you feel? What do you need? What's going on with you? They asked that question all the time. Like, everywhere I went. It was like, the better the leader, the more they were checking in with their people, asking them specifically, what did you think of that? How are you feeling right now? What do you need? Do you need anything? And they let those people communicate that too. Your job as a good leader is to let people be more expressive around you. That's your job, to create that culture or that environment where they can express more of who they are and what they want. And I don't mean that like esoterically. I mean you asking it, you eliciting it, you doing the actions, the behavior that people would feel safe to communicate around you. Some of you because of how you grew up or how you react with other people. You shut people down around you. And it's not because you're necessarily a bad person. Some of you shut people down because you're smart. You're smart and you get in that bad habit of what we talked about yesterday. You remember, the bad habit of relationships was superiority. Sometimes when you're smart, as soon as someone starts to share an idea, you interrupt them and give an answer. Oops, right? Gentlemen, I hope you all learned. Like in relationship class 101, when she is sharing, you don't have to solve. She can keep talking without you answering and telling her what to do. Your next level of happiness also comes from expression. Because too many guys, we grow up in a very different culture than women grow up about what we can share and what we can say and what's masculine or feminine, what's allowed. So a lot of dudes, they just grow up non communicative Right? Ladies ever date one of those? Right? It's tough. And some dudes in here, that's you. I know. I've done coaching sessions with you. I'm like, man, it's like pulling teeth to get you to say good morning. I know that's difficult. I grew up in that. I grew up. I didn't learn, like, self expression until after my accident because I got really motivated to do it. Because I read over and over and over how important self expression was to happiness. And I said, I want happy, so I'm gonna learn to self express. Cause I wasn't good at that. That wasn't a skill or a thing I had. Outside of, literally my immediate family, I had very little role models of self expression. Very few, right? Maybe one or two in my entire life of people who were, like, authentic and free and giving and talking, I never saw that. And what I want you to challenge you to do is I want you to be more expressive. And when I say that, I mean in every angle of that. I mean with your voice. I mean with the way that you move and the way that you gesture. Because so many people are living such a small life physically and vocally, and it's why they feel so small and unhappy. I want you to get outside of the comfort zone. Right. My first speeches, I remember it was almost like a requirement. You guys might remember this, like, you know, in the 90s and 2000s, early 2000s, they always had a podium on stage, and you were just expected to use a podium. Like, everybody used the podium. So I would, okay, I guess I gotta use a podium. And I would stand there. And my speeches just sucked because I was just boxed in. And that's kind of how my life had been. I was always boxed behind something, you know, like. And I didn't know how to just move and express myself. And I had to train myself because this, for me, was super uncomfortable. Teaching and training, terrified, not good at it, not good at it. But I've always known now the more I express myself, the better that I get. And the more I express myself, the better I feel. If you are not doing well, that happiness and expression, the bigger that you get, the better you'll feel, right? The bigger that you get in the way that you move. Ultimately, at first, it feels very inauthentic, right? For me, when I first started talking, going like, this was like, inauthentic, because, you know, where I grew up is like. But moving around has taught me. I've come so much happier moving around, but I Had to learn how to do that and give myself permission to use my arms. My arms, my legs, my face and everything. And when it does, it saved me. And so if you're not moving, you feel like life is, like, stuck. If you're not expressing, you feel like life is silence and not the good kind of, you know, because when it comes to expression, silence is suffering. In meditation or spirituality, silence is a beautiful space. But in human interaction and happiness, if you're not sharing and you're not moving and talking, which are the gifts that we've been given, movement is a huge gift we've been given. It's why out of everyone I've worked with over the $100 million levels, I've made them all start taking yoga, all of them, because they just don't. They don't know how to move. They're not aware of space and energy. So if you're not aware of space and energy, how do you lead people with your energy if you're not even aware of your own? So for leaders in the room, if you're not in some kind of practice like that, whether it's a group class or a yoga class or something where you're getting more familiar with your body, it could be any sport in general. But I like yoga because it's got the intention for energy on top of movement, which I think is important. So, I mean, there's different kinds, right? You can do CrossFit, too. Not a lot of intention for the energy there, right? Not a lot of intention for the soul kind of energy that yoga might give you. So if you struggle leading other people, take care of yourself and start moving, and I will promise you your team will be happier. They'll notice your energetic space changing because you've learned to manage your energetic space with movement. God gave us physical movement and vocal power. So when we don't use those, we are blighting the gifts that we were granted. And that is why it is important for everyone in this room, including myself, to develop greater range and strength and power in our expression, because it will make us come alive. Because that was the gift of life in the first place. It's us aligning with the gifts we've already been given. Raise your hand and follow. Yeah. So turn the person left or right Shake them, say, I want to see you express.

Hey, it's Brandon. I'm bopping in here real fast for you. To urge you to go to hpxwellness.com and check out our products to help you get more of that mental Focus and energy. You need to stay at your best, to deliver with excellence, to feel like, vibrant again. Because I know we all struggle with mental fatigue and mental focus. We all sometimes get tired and sometimes we're worried about our overall health. And So I created three specific products to help you with that. Go to HPX wellness.com, check out our nutrition line, and let's get you to high performance, baby. HPX wellness.com.

Next big one is what I just demonstrated. Connection. The next way to happiness is connection. Which is why every time you turn to your left and right and you shake that person, everyone in this room smiles and you get a dopamine hit and a serotonin hit for like three minutes, right? Every time I have you do that, there's like three minutes of a good JoJo. Just like you can feel it in the room for like three minutes. It just sticks around. And because connection creates happiness and happiness changes the energy of a space. So your job is to connect with people again. Don't not see them. See them and validate them and connect with them and hug them and cheer them on. Because it's in our connections that we find our greatest levels of life happiness. Matt, I told you yesterday, the strongest correlation of both health well being and literally longevity, the number of years you live. The strongest correlation they've studied across all lifespan studies has been positive relationships. When you have positive relationships in your life, you live longer. So it's important that we care about that and make sure you see the people that you are serving, see the people you are teaching or training or leading, see your team members, connect with them. It's hard, but you have to use your expressions so they know you know. I remember giving a friend advice one time, struggling in a relationship, and I said, dude, what you have to learn to do is you have to learn how to feel her feeling. You there has to be. You have to sense her that she is feeling what you are saying, and you have to make her feel that you felt how she's feeling. Hey, guys, I didn't design the instruction manual, all right? That's hard stuff, but that's the advanced stuff in connection is learning to make her or that person you're with feel that she can feel or he can. Whoever you're with, they can feel that you have felt what they are feeling. That's my challenge to you. Make the people around you feel that you have felt what they feel. And when you do that, you get access to an entire new level of relationship and connection. And with that higher level of connection, relationship, higher level of happiness. Next, very simple one. Joy and play. Now, it's interesting that often researchers separate the two, which I don't like, but I'm cool with it. There's a lot of studies on play and how play makes people happier, right? But play is. Play is the activity. Joy is the feeling. And so I was like, joy better. Cause you can put joy on any activity, right? Not everything is play, but everything you can bring joy to. That's why I say you have to bring the. Bring the joy. It's very important to me. This up here was terrifying. I was so scared, right? I got 32ft up here. That's a lot of space, man. I got 1,500 in this one here, you guys. Something like that. That's a lot. That terrified me because I kept thinking of it as, like, the most important thing in the world. And I have to say every word, right? And if the music isn't perfect and the light doesn't do this and the screen doesn't do that. And it freaked me out, man. My first couple years, I was freaked out. I was scared, and I wasn't as good. And then I realized, this is my playground. That's what this is. See, I used to look at the lectern. I thought that was my nemesis, that lectern. And then I thought, well, it's just a piece of glass or wood usually. And I'm like, that has nothing to do.

I look at this stage.

This is my playground. I get to dance with you guys. I never used to dance until I said, this is my playground. Because I thought, you know, where I came from, out of corporate America. Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the conference. I mean, you couldn't even. You couldn't move a hip. You get in trouble if you activate the hips. It was just, welcome to the conference. Let me tell you what's going to go on. And then it was like this. I will explain to you why these speakers are so transformational. Please make sure you tweet the thing. A thing. And the Instagram the notch. And please know that lunch is coming up soon. And if you have any questions, ask the people who look as excited as I am. And I was like, man, there must be a better way to do this thing. Like, what would I want to do? I'm like, well, I like to dance. I'm not good at it, but I love to dance. You know, in Montana, they only teach the four step, you know? You know, the four step. Four step. One, two, three, four. So I Just learned to say, well, you know what? How would I more express myself than the four step? You know what. What would full expression look like on 32ft? I would say I would go from end to end. That's what I would do. Now, I was not comfortable doing that the first time I did it. There, there's. You guys. Can you see it? There's a piece of white tape here that's really bright, like neon white, so that in my peripheral, I can see the edge of the stage because it's hard to dance and see the ground at the same time. So I would be dangerously close to that sucker all the time. You know, I'd be like, oh, my good. He's going to go over. So I had to set up safe conditions for myself. But I said, you know what? If you want to experience a different quality of life, make life your playground. Make that office that you hate going into. Your playground. Make that call you didn't want to make your playground. And when I say your playground, you watch kids on a playground, full expression. I mean, they're jumping, they're playing, and they're shouting. And then we start dampering all of that down, which is appropriate in some situations. But you know what? Appropriate is not the word we want to die with. I've talked. Look, I've taught the three words to millions of people. No one's ever come to me. Brendan, one of my words is appropriate. And you never heard that. Not what's ever so. Make the world your playground. Write it down. Make the world your playground. That yoga mat, that's your playground. That office, that's your playground. That sales call playground and playground for more full expression of yourself. Because look at those three. Look at them stack on themselves. If now you can express yourself and you can connect with people and their feelings and you bring the now. Happiness just happens, people. How are you so happy? I'm like, I just do those things. You ever met my mom? She's all those in a whirlwind of energy, and it's just like, yeah, my mom, she didn't even know she was doing the science. She's doing the science. Look, if you're not happy, then three weeks from now, bust out this journal and take accountability, ownership. How am I doing? How am I thinking of the last week or two and what am I doing right now to express myself, to connect and to bring some joy here. You'll do better. All right.

Hey, it's Brendan. I hope you enjoyed that episode, and I hope it helped you reach another level. Of high performance in your life, whether it's just a shift in your mindset or shift in your habits or a shift in your intention for the day. I really honor you for listening to the Brendon show and I'm deeply thankful. So could you do me a favor? Could you just go onto itunes or Apple Podcasts and rate and review this episode or any of our episodes. And also while you're there to help me, just download the last five episodes too onto your phone. Because you know, Apple really cares about the downloads and the rating and reviews.

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