Find What’s Necessary to Leave Your Comfort Zone For Good

This is not where high performers live. This is where people who ultimately become very dissatisfied with life live. Now. It doesn't mean that you can't be comfortable in your life. There's nothing wrong with being comfortable at some point in your life. It's just as you know, if you studied my work, that sometimes comfort over a period of time becomes boring or dissatisfied and you feel like there's something missing. And what's missing is what we call the charge that there is this other level of energy and engagement and enthusiasm with life. But what I'd like to do today is begin with this very simple challenge. And that is if you feel that you've been here too much and you know it, because if you're here and only here, your career has flatlined, right? You're in a plateau moment in your career, which is okay. But a lot of people hit that, right? They really worked hard, hard, hard, hard, hard, hard. And then they plateaued. And they're wondering, why am I plateaued? This happens in athletics when I work with high level athletes. It happens in the Fortune 50 executives I work with. It happens with the celebrities I work with. It's not because they're not smart, they're not driven, not because they're sabotaging themselves. It's not because they're in a bad mood. It's not because the kids, not because of the team. That at some point when we hit that plateau, there's usually a reason why. And that is we started guiding our days and we started thinking about our ambitions from this place, from our comfort zone. And our comfort zone, this line around it is really a line of preferences. That's it. I just, you know, I don't feel like working that hard today. Because you don't have to. You're already there, right? You've climbed the mountain, you're good. And you're like, man, can I just enjoy the view for a while? And I'm like, absolutely. Enjoy the view. Love the view. Set up camp on top of the mountains, shout out from the rooftops, have children, start a farm. You know, start making your vegetables. Live up there in comfort as long as you want. And then one day you'll go, there must be something more. It's just the human ambition for growth, for contribution, for deeper levels of connection and giving that drive. So many of us, I love to look at your career, your relationships, your health, and suggest to you that the way out of the comfort zone is not what you might think most people think the way out of the comfort zone is set a goal, they think it's have an aspiration. A lot of people think it's hope. And a lot of people, what they do is they start breaking the comfort zone a little bit, dabbling, trying, taking one trepid step forward and then kind of falling back. Here's what I've learned about high performers though. And this was a big breakthrough recently when I was working with a very, very high level, world class coach for sports teams and we were talking about high performers and what the difference is between the guys who kind of go through the motions comfort zone and the guys who are working on the field. And I believe that the reason that high performers hit excellence isn't because in their comfort zone, but they're in the necessary zone. And I know that's such a kind of a clunky phrase, I wish I had a better phrase for it. But, but let me walk you through what I mean. I think it's important for all of us to find necessary if we are going to amplify our life to the next level. What do I mean? Look, if you're in your comfort zone, you're doing things because it's easy, It's a preference, you got good at it. It's a skill, it's a knowledge, it's a core competency, it's a capability you can do and you feel good about yourself. The reason high performers stay high performers so long is, is because they believe it is necessary to continue growing. It's necessary to put in the training, the practice. It's necessary for them to give more, to serve more, to contribute more. It's necessary for them to grow in their character. It's necessary for them to deepen their relationships. It's necessary for them to feel more alive. It's part of their identity that it is necessary to grow. It's not like a hope, an idea. It's not even an aspiration, It's a must, it's a necess, it's a necessity in their day. It's like I was talking recently to two NFL players, great guys, legends, right? Real cool guys. And they were. I just happened to be on some vacation and ran into them and I'll show you what's really cool as we're talking. One guy was talking about his hunger for being on the field and he was talking about how the other people around him who were also, by the way, they're all NFL players, they were good too. This guy's a legend. And he said that the main difference between what he felt like he did and other people did. Is he felt it was necessary for him to. To keep an edge. That's what he said. He says I have to keep that edge. I have to be pushing myself, because if I'm not pushing myself, then what ends up happening is other people pass me. And it wasn't just competitive for him because I said, is that it? You got to beat other people? Is it an ego thing? Goes, no, no, no. He goes, because, Brendan, they look to me, he said, they look to me for inspiration. They look to me for leadership. They look at me as a role model. If I let off and I fall into a comfort zone, not only will I probably not be in this. I won't last because it is so competitive, but I also won't be able to inspire the people around me. And at some point, I'll get bored. And as he was describing all that, I was like, wow, how many times in my life I've heard high performers talk like that. He's not saying, I pushed myself so hard because I want to win. That's not what he said. I pushed myself so hard because I'm scared of the people replacing me. That's not what he said. Pushed himself because he wanted to grow, but he also knew he was a role model. People were watching them. I want you to think about any level of growth that you're really going to have in your life. The only way you sustain it and keep breaking through is it's a necessary thing for you. I mean, look at how many people who start a great New Year's ambition. It's an interest. And they do. They step outside their comfort zone. They go to the gym 1, 2, 3 times. They take those first baby steps, but they don't stick to it because it wasn't real for them. It wasn't necessary to become healthy. A lot of people become very healthy, the most healthy in their life after surviving something. Broke their leg, got sick, saw somebody die, and they said, you know what? I got to change. And it became real for them. And so I would like you to look at your life in three areas and find your necessary. Think about first, your relationships. Why is it necessary for you to improve that relationship right now? See, most people, they wait too late in their life to find necessary. So your partner walks out on you and says, well, I've been telling you to get better, but you never got better. And now all of a sudden, oh, let me make. Let me make better. I'll get better. I'll get better, I'll get better. Waited too Late to find necessary. That said, I gave you the chance that I'm out of here. You never found necessary in your mind, so you never got better in that relationship. Does that make sense? People wait until tragedy. They wait until scarcity. They wait until obligation. They wait until that very last moment because it's so much easier to be comfortable than to try. So I'd like you to think first and foremost for your relationships. What relationship in your life do you need to find your necessary in that, like, decision? Like, it's necessary for me to be a better dad because why? It's necessary for me to be a better wife because why? It's necessary for me to be a better team leader, because why? If you never ask that question and you're not clear about why it's important to you, obviously we know from, you know, everything we've studied in psychology, you lose motivation. There's no reason. There's no drive, you know, there's no ambition and expectancy that we're going to reach it. There's no motivation. And so your relationship, what's necessary? Now think about your career. Why is it necessary for you to be excellent at what you do? Why can you articulate it? Can you journal on it? Today, after this video, maybe you sit down. What's my necessary in my world right now for my career? Think about your health. Why is it necessary for this year to be the year you get healthier? Why? Why is it this year, right now, you're gonna quit smoking? Why is it this year you're gonna stop drinking all your calories? Why is it this year you're gonna stop overeating? Why? Why is it necessary? Because, look, if it's. You're gonna fall back in your comfort zone. You're just gonna keep smoking, keep drinking the calories, keep overeating, you're gonna stop working out because it's easier. It's easier. This is a path that feels so good. It's the path of least resistance. But it also leads to early death. You know, it also leads to relationships that are unfulfilling. It also leads to careers that are minimal and never scaled to the appropriate level because no one knew what was necessary. I work harder than I need to. This. It could be easy. I could live every day in the Caribbean, have my pina colada. As soon as it hits noon, I don't feel so guilty. Noon, boom, I'm having a pina colada. No problem. I could do that every day of my life now. But you know what? I wouldn't be fulfilled. You know what? I wouldn't fulfill my destiny. You know, I wouldn't fulfill my potential. You know, I wouldn't be here with you guys. Because for me, it's necessary. I work harder, I focus, I develop, I practice. It is a fundamental identity of a high performer to know what is necessary now for me to develop, to grow, to give, to connect. And if you have not clarified that, that is why you don't have more motiv Sam.