Finding Purpose in 2020

How do you find your purpose in 2020? I know you've set goals, I know you're already moving towards them. I know that you're excited about this new decade, but how do you find purpose? Because so many people have ambition, they have goals, they even have sometimes dream, but they're like, I don't feel purpose and I'm losing that. It's not like one day you're gonna walk out the door and like, you know, the piano of purpose is going to fall on your face and you're going to understand exactly what you're supposed to do with every single part of your life until you're dead. I don't think that that necessarily happens. But I do believe a lot of people are not living in their purpose now or into their destiny now because they're living in their history, right, and they're running old models or they're living in a life of reaction. And so they're struggling to feel that connection that we all really want, that depth that we all really want. They're struggling with purpose. And maybe that's why you're in my community, because you're somebody who says, you know what? I really want to live a life of self mastery. I want to reach high performance and success and everything I want to do. I want to have great well being and be proud of myself and contribute and make a difference. And I really want to shape and influence the world in a positive way. But some days, Brendan, I don't feel good. I suck. I can't stay on my A game. I get knocked off because, you know, I get distracted or people put more stuff on my plate and I get lost. And so I thought I'd talk with you guys about that. How do we reconnect to purpose? What is purpose? And how do you find and tap into purpose for 2020? Let me share with you four ideas to find your purpose in 2020. But not just find it, but to really shape it and create it. And yes, tap into it, but also direct it and mold it. Because listen, life should be so extraordinary. Life should feel so connected for you. So how do you do that? I got four ideas for finding your purpose in 2020. Here we go. Number one, you must realign with the truth of who you are. Don't think that purpose, one day you're going to trip onto it. Don't think that one day you're going to achieve something and you'll feel purpose because there's all these externalities we hope will bring us a sense of purpose. One Day. Oh, one day I'll reach as many people or make this much money or do these things for my family or achieve this outcome. And we think that purpose will be felt one day. But I've also met and coached so many people who are some of the most extraordinary and influential people in the world. Some of the wealthiest people, some people who grace the covers of magazines, who are interviewed by celebrities all the time. And the truth is, a lot of those have achieved. A lot of people have achieved objectives, but they still don't feel purpose. Why I wrote about this, my book, High Performance Habits, about this extraordinary executive woman I was coaching. And she discovered through our coaching that, listen, sometimes achievement is not the problem. Alignment is. Like, you all get a lot done, right? You're busy, you got to do lists, you're knocking off checklists. But sometimes achieving, getting some things done, that's not the problem. It's alignment. You've got to realign with the truth of who you are. What does that mean? Well, first you got to recognize where you're not living your authentic life right now. If you want to feel a greater connection with purpose right now, let's figure out what we got to stop doing. Well, we better stop trying to run an old model of what other people expected of us. We have to stop trying to live the life other people want us to live and reconnect with the truth of who we are. Realign with our intentions, our interests, our passions, our desires to create and serve. Listen, all purpose begins. The hunt for purpose begins with the realignment to personal truth. All purpose begins with the realignment to personal truth. Like dialing it back into who you really are, what it is that you want at this stage of your life. What are you interested in? What are you passionate about? What are you excited about? Noticing where you're living your life in? Obligation or reaction, right? Obligation because you think you have to fit somebody else's mold. Reaction because you're just always reacting to everybody else's emergency. And so suddenly your life isn't really your life. And so no wonder you don't feel purposeful. You'll never feel purposeful until you realign with your personal truths, the core of who you are, to notice what is authentic for you. Some of you are in relationships, you know that's not authentic to you. You know you were there out of obligation. You know you're there because, you know, you just kind of fell into it. But the truth of who you are is saying, please listen, this is not us. You know what so many People are faking it. They're faking who they are. They're faking to create some perception of themselves, to position themselves a certain way. They're not living who they are, and they know they're lying. They don't dress how they want to dress. They don't speak how they want to speak. They can't find an authentic flow throughout the day because they're always trying to be somebody else or perform for somebody else versus doing who they are. If you want to connect to purpose, you've got to start doing who you are again. You got to tap right back in and realign to your personal truths, realign to the core of who you are. Listen to your soul again. If your soul is screaming for change, you got to change. Otherwise you'll never feel purpose. You've got to reconnect to that part of you that's like, oh, my gosh, this is me. Where have I been? I know where you've been. You've been caged by other people's expectations. You've been caged by false obligations, by thinking you have to be the savior of everybody, by thinking you have to do everything. You've been caged by doing work or things that's not even in alignment with your passions, but you're doing it for a paycheck. We've all been there. If this feels like I'm being accusatory, please recognize I'm a high performance coach. It's my job to challenge and to set the frame sometime. And in doing that, I want you to understand purpose will come back into your life and you'll feel a greater sense of it when you realign with your personal truth. Now, when I talk about alignment, people say, well, Brendan, what the heck are you talking about? Well, here's what I kind of mean with alignment. We all have three primary aspirations in our life. We have the aspiration, what we call being aspirations. We all aspire to be a vibrant, healthy person who we are proud of, a person of character and energy that we are proud of. In other words, we want to be our most vibrant, alive self, who also is doing things that we're proud of. That's our being aspirations. So are you realigning with that? Are you doing things you're proud of? Are you generating the energy you want to feel and experience? Your beingness, your aliveness each day when we realign with that being aspiration, I want to be vibrant and proud of who I am, Then we feel more purpose the second way. Our second aspiration is our Relating aspirations. Those aspirations that say, I want to be like this, I want to treat people like that. I want to feel part of a community, I want to feel cared for. I want to connect with other people. Because. Right. Connection is a human desire. It's an aspiration we have. Relating aspirations. So start behaving more of who you really are. Like, be more authentic in your interactions with other people again. And suddenly you feel that sense of purpose, like, oh, I'm on my path. The third primary aspiration that we have is, is creating aspirations. What does that mean? It means that, you know, that drive that you have for contribution or to do your art, to be creative or to, you know, create a mission or to create a movement. All of that is under our creation aspirations. We want to create something in the world. We want to create a legacy. We want to create a mission, we want to create a difference. We want to create art, we want to create buildings, we want to create spaces we love. We want to create things on the Internet, I mean, on social media, it's like, listen, we. We all want to create things. So are you creating things that matter to you? Are you spending your days doing your life's work, not just busy work? I know you heard me ask this before. So when we realign with our being aspirations, our relating aspirations, and our creating aspirations, and then we allow ourselves the ambition to grow in each area to be more. To relate better, to create more authentic things, we start to realign. And so I'll say it again. You will not find or feel purpose in your life until you realign to the truth of who you are. Second, big ideas. If you want to feel and sense and create purpose in your life, you must, you must adopt the role model mindset. You know why people, a lot of people don't feel any purpose. They are not activating their potential. Let me say it again. You know why a lot of people don't feel purpose? They are not activating their potential. See, the more you sense like your potential is up here, but the more your daily life is performing down here, that dissonance, that divide, that distance between daily realities and activated potential is often called not just dissonance, but misery. And the more you're miserable or in pain, the more you can be detached from purpose. It's not that purpose only happens in positivity and yay, yay stuff. But listen, it's a whole lot easier to sense it and feel it and celebrate it when you know you are activating your potential. I mean, really think about it at Least I was doing a live cast recently, this morning with my main man, Dave Hollis. And you guys know Rachel and Dave Hollis. I love them so much. And this is one reason I'm doing this right now. Cause many of you are saying, hey, you went live for these guys. We haven't seen you on your channel for a while. Oh, my goodness. So let me share this with you. Let me share this with you. The truth is that a lot of people, because they don't recognize that they're not activating their potential. They don't feel that in their heart. They don't feel pride, and they don't feel purpose. There has to be a realignment and, and a reactivation of your potential. Right. I really want you to think about that on a day like what I was talking about with Dave this morning is your daily actions are leading to a momentum. And that momentum each day is leading you towards a particular kind of destiny, a particular direction, a particular end game, a particular legacy, a particular style of life. So what is the momentum of your energies, of who you are being, how you are relating, and what you are creating each day leading towards? Well, if the answer is not much, it's because you're not activating your potential. You have. You are more strong, more capable, more extraordinary than you could ever imagine. But that must be activated by your daily habits. That must be activated by your daily actions. It can't be a once in a while New Year intention. So many people at New Year's feel disconnected from purpose. And they're like, I don't understand. I journaled. I've thought about my New Year's. I celebrated with my friends. How come I don't feel potential? Because this is the first time you thought about it in a year. You know, it's like, you've got to activate your potential on a consistent basis. It's really hard for people to get that. You have to activate your potential on a consistent basis. And when you start doing that, things change. When you activate potential more often, you feel differently. You know you feel differently. And I want to really talk about this idea next of adopting a role model mindset. If you want to feel in purpose, one way to do that is to recognize the kids are watching, to recognize your family is watching, to recognize the community is watching, the neighborhood is watching. The world is watching us right now. History is taking note. There is a scorecard happening right now based on how we are all showing up. And for some people, that terrifies them because, like, oh my gosh, we're showing up terribly. Not me. How about you? How are you showing up? One of the greatest things I've ever noticed from the exceptional people I work with and coach. I mean, like, this is like amazing people. If I'm training an Oprah Winfrey and her team, or I am talking to some of the most powerful influencers in the world, or I'm talking with other people who are just so. We're all amazed by, guess what? They always reveal a desire to be a role model for others. When you desire to be a role model for others, it puts you into that pocket of service in life. It makes you go, oh, my gosh. I want to not just live the best of who I am. That's part of being a role model. But I want to live the best of who I am because I want to give others permission to do that themselves. I want to share my authentic voice so others can share their authentic voice. I want people to see me volunteering because I want people to go volunteer. I want people to see me being kind because I want people to be and live in a kind world. That is the role model mindset, you know, And I so hope for you. I so hope for you that you will adopt the role model mindset this year. You know, I was saying to all my friends, you know, this is 2022, 020, right? It's a repetition. 2020, it's doubled. 2, 020. It's doubled. So I'm saying to everybody, double down on your goodness. You want to have an exceptional and incredible 2020. You want to find purpose this year, Double down on your goodness, adopt the role model mindset and say, how can I be a role model? How can I serve? How can I do more good in the world? Because as I do more good in the world, I lift the world. As I do more good in the world, it challenges me to be a person of potential. And as I challenge myself to be a person of potential and I inspire other people, I feel like I serving a purpose. See, when we sense that we're role models to others, purpose is connected. In that very moment when you know you're being a role model, kids. Boom. Purpose is connected. When you know you're being a role model for your team, Boom. Purpose is connected. When you're standing on stage and you're speaking your truth, Boom. Purpose is connected. You don't have to go hope to find it. It's connected when you are being role model. It's connected when you are activating your full potential. It's connected when you are in alignment with your truth, you got it. You have to go look for it. You need to connect to it. And that brings me to my last point today. You've got to start creating meaningful moments in your life. What do I mean by that? Well, listen, you and I both know, I mean, how many times you get caught up in the day, you get caught up in the news, you get caught up in your, you know, swiping and looking and looking and consuming. You get caught up in your to do list, you get caught up in all the emails, you get caught up in all the work. And all of a sudden the whole day went by and you didn't feel it. And I'm here to tell you something really remarkable that I've learned this last year. You know, last year was my first year where as a high performance coach, I was coaching two billionaires. And I'd never done that before. I mean, many of you guys know and you've been with me on my journey, you know, for what, two decades I've been in personal development. And in this last decade it's kind of where I made my mark. You know, I published six books, we grew our audience to, you know, what are 5 million on Facebook and you know, 800,000 or whatever is on Instagram now, 800,000 on YouTube. Best selling books, traveling, you've seen us fill the rooms and all the events that I do. But this last year was like a whole other level for me. It was so hard, so challenging. We moved Denise and I and I also started taking on these caliber of clients. I mean, holy cow, I didn't know if I could handle it. I mean, I'm not a billionaire. I got no problem telling anybody that I'm not out there trying to pretend I, you know, pretend. You can't fake it with billionaires. They know. And so when I was coaching them, I kind of struggled for a while to figure out what they were unhappy about. Hope that doesn't sound flippant, but I was like, wow, they got so much going for what's up? Why aren't you happier? If you have everything right, like the material things most people are seeking, why aren't you happier? And I'll ask you guys that same thing. Why do you feel like you're not happier? Like what's going on? I mean most people consumer watching this, I mean, you're doing okay. I mean you might be unhappy here and there. You might struggle it like especially, I mean a tremendous amount of our audience in personal development is strivers they're achievers, they're working hard. They're often the leaders in their community. And everybody goes, wow, they're already impressed with you. They're already happy that you're chasing your dream. They're already like, kind of like you're living your own. You're living life on your own terms a little bit. And so are these major people I was coaching. I couldn't figure out what's going on with them. And then I finally, I tripped on maybe. Was it last year, the year end of, I think was the end of the prior year. I got it here. They were doing amazing things, guys. Every single day. They were living the dream. They had finances, they had impact. They, they, you know, people were impressed with them. They, you know, had love often in their life. They were married or had good kids or whatever, but they still weren't happy and they still did not feel connected. And here is what I discovered. They did not feel the day. Say it again. They didn't feel the day. They went through the day, some of them very high achieving through the day, accomplishing things on their purpose, making a difference, a role model, earning, doing the whole thing. And yet when they laid their head on the pillow at night, they hadn't felt the day. Think about that for a moment. Think about how many days you go to bed and you didn't really feel the moments of the day. And this is why. Too many days unfelt leads to a disconnect with purpose. Too many days unfelt leads to a disconnect with purpose. Does that make sense? And so what do we have to do? We have to create the habits, the routines, the patterns where we learn to create and feel meaningful moments. I talk about this in my book, the Motivation Manifesto, or you guys hear me talk about it on the Brennan Show a lot. My podcast, where you have to take these moments in time and do what I call slow time. It's like, yes, you're gonna kiss your honey on the way out the door to work. But you know what? When you plant that kiss, plant that kiss, baby. Make it a moment. Feel that moment. You know when you hug the kids and they're running off to school, like, really give a real hug, don't like pasea and move on to the next thing. We're always moving on to the next thing and not feeling this moment. We're not present in the moment because we're not thinking about, let me create something meaningful here, Let me feel something here. Because we're absent of presence and the sense of meaning in the moment we are disconnected from purpose. And so I know some of you think, well, Brendan, dude, tell me how to find my purpose as a vocation, or tell me what my destiny or legacy is going to be. Hey, I am no fortune teller and I love you guys, but I'm here to tell you if you'll think about these things, if you will realign to the core truth of who you are. Stop faking it. Stop forcing it. Reconnect with what your authentic passions and desires are. Reconnect to your soul. Listen to the whispers of your heart. Realign to the authentic style of living that you know is true for you, not doing it for other people. Make sure you fulfill those aspirations, your being aspirations. Be the best of who you are. Do things that you're proud of. Relate with other people in the ways that you intend to. Create things that you're proud of. Make sure that you adopt that role model mindset. When you're adopting the role model mindset, you're activating your full potential because you want other people to see that. You want to do things of integrity and value in the world because you want other people to role model that themselves. You're creating the world that you want to be in by living that, you're activating your potential. You're being a role model that will connect you with purpose. You don't have to seek it. It will connect you. When you are in potential. When you are in potential and you are serving by being a role model and being of service to other people, not for yourself, but to be of service to other people, you are connected to purpose. And that last idea. Make purpose felt by feeling the day. Create those meaningful moments again. Create them. Just take a little moment. Slow down time when you're with your loved ones. Slow down time when you're doing your art. One way to do that is stop being distracted and trying to multitask and do 50 things. Be in the moment when you're doing personal development. Be in personal development, man. Be there with your journal when you're at dinner with your loved one, when you're on date night, be there. When you're with the kids playing, be there. When you're with your team leading, be there. That idea of being fully present again reconnects you to purpose. And suddenly it's not about what did you achieve externally. You just felt feel purposeful. You feel a life of purpose because you are doing things that are meaningful, that are serving aspirations, that are serving as a role model, that are being of service to other people. And all of a sudden you're just like, I'm there. I feel purposeful. Even if it doesn't matter how much you have in the bank or what the car is like or what the house is like, those things are wonderful. But those things are also often a result of realigning to your truth. I say it all the time. Sometimes the universe or God or luck or whatever the stars, whatever you want to call it, doesn't give you what you want because based on all of your distractions and lack of discipline and authenticity, it's simply unsure what you're asking for. If you are asking to feel more purpose, you must realign your life to a life that feels purposeful. Hey y'. All, I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, would you please smash that subscribe button and also post any questions you have down below? Because it's these questions that you're all asking that inspires these episodes. I'd love to hear what you think about it. Also, if you would love to join us on our next upcoming live training. We call it our High Performance Experience Coaching Program. If you'd like some coaching and have some perspective and get some two hours of Live with me every single month, then click the link in the post down below so you can join us in HPX Coaching. I'd love to give you some more strategies, more insight, and more interaction to help you reach your next level of success. Until next time. Again, please subscribe, Share this video with anybody who could be inspired by it today and thanks one more time for being part of my community.