From Dread to Excitement (Powerful Mindset Shift!)

This first idea, when you go into protection, when you go into caretaking, when you go into managing the energy of everybody else and just hoping to make it through the day, what happens is enough days of that and disconnection from the future, this dichotomy starts happening. This challenge, this thing here. Dread versus excitement. Even great leaders can start to feel dread about the day. Ugh. Now I'm gonna have to go manage more complaints from other people. Ugh. I'm gonna have to manage the attitude of my snarky husband. Ugh. I'm gonna have to deal with that grumpy person over here. Ugh. I gotta answer all those emails. Ugh. So even in the context of abundance, joy, the good, positive energy you can have, when every day can start to feel a little Groundhog Day, it can start to feel like dread. Even Bill Murray, one of the most fun people on the planet in Groundhog's Day, starts to have dread. And I want you to be attentive to your energy. Over these last seven days, how many days did you feel a little bit of dread? And I want to share with you. It's okay, because you might not have been aware of that dread. It's not about your life. The dread's not about the kids. It's not about the husband. The dread's not about your health. The dread that comes, that existential dilemma that comes in in times of turmoil is actually not anything happening right now. It's a disconnection from the future. Sometimes we get it wrong. We think everything around us is wrong, actually. We just don't have a connection. We don't have something to be excited about when we don't have something to be excited about when we don't have that compelling future, that thing to look forward to, that thing to celebrate, that thing to be excited about. The week. The day feels like a slog. Even when it's good. Even when it's good. You got a good husband, you got a good job, you got some money coming from the business. You got good opportunities. But in times of crisis, when it feels like a slog, when there's dread there, it's not that the opportunities are the husband or the kids or the house is wrong. Sometimes you lost connection with what to look forward to. And that was the missing thing. That was a piece of psychology. I mean, I know because I've talked with many of you and we've been doing these lives. I know that sometimes you're just dealing with the stuff right now. And so how are we going to Win the year. Today's a pivot. Today you are going to design back into your weeks, back into your months, and back by the end of this year. You are going to design into your days on purpose, visualization of the future every day. Visualization of the future every single day. Just as you might meditate every day. I want to turn that into a purposeful, deliberate visualization of something that you are excited about. You. You are thrilled about. You can't wait to happen. I don't care if it's next week. I don't care if it's a big thing or a small thing. I don't care if it's December 31, 2020. We've got to find those things, and we need more of them than you have been granting yourself in the last 60 days. Many of you have not granted yourself anything to be excited about in the last 60 days. It was more like, God, I got to figure out how to work out here now at home. That kind of sucks. And, oh, I got to figure out this homeschool thing. That kind of sucks. And I got to figure out how to deal with this grumpy spouse. That kind of suc. And there's all this. There's this. That's life. You know, you're dealing with these things. You're like, ah. And dread. We need to build in excitement. We need to build in anticipation, optimism, thrill, adventure. We need to build those things back in. That's how you are going to win this year. You are going to make a pivot right now to institute a new protocol of daily connection with the future. That's your new protocol. Daily connection. Not just listen. This is different than just writing a goal down. No. I want you to see it, feel it, think about it, dream it, visualize it, see it, and build in every single day or week or month, the win, the reward, that thing to celebrate. Now, this can happen on small terms and big terms. Let me give you some examples. Some of you just had that right. You had, some of you who looked forward to Cinco de Mayo like crazy. Okay, Let me tell you about a little win we had this week. Cinco de Mayo down here in Puerto Rico. We've been locked in for so long, and a local store, a local restaurant said, you know what? We're going to put together a Cinco de Mayo offer for our community. You can come over here and you can pick up a huge tray of tacos and a whole glass bottle of margarita. I will tell you, you thought this place just won 54 NBA championships, 74 Super Bowls and 100 lotteries all in the same moment. When that email went out and this community got that, it was like the whole place was. Was but something to look forward to. We don't have to cook. We can go pick up stuff. Because I'm not in a place where there's a lot of stuff that delivers to your door. So Denise has been cooking and cooking and we've been at home and also we get to go get some stuff, come back home and celebrate, have a margarita. Simple win. We look forward to that for three days. Simple. Not a big thing. Not a big thing. But maybe all week you could talk about how with the kids, hey, on Saturday we're going to go to the park. What toys should we bring? Let's bring a picnic. What would you like us to bring in the picnic basket when we go to the park? How long do you want to stay at the park? What games do you want to play at the park? These conversations of anticipation, it's got to be built in. And listen, I know the mistake. Sometimes we go, well, Brendan, let's wait and see how things turn out. Oh, yeah, okay. I like this idea, Brendan. Let me plan for October. Let me plan for November. Come on, Brendon, they're not going to happen till 2021. No, this week, the next seven days, what's something you can look forward to and no, wait for it to hopefully happen? Build it in. You got to build in the rewards, the vibrancy, the adventure, the fulfillment, the daily connection of conversation with your spouse, with your partner about something coming up, even in moments of delay. I'll give another simple example. When we came to Puerto Rico, my dream, as many of you guys know, I know some of you knew the community, but since I was a teenager, I wanted to live in the Caribbean. I had that dream of living on a white sandy beach with some palm trees, riding, overlooking the ocean, taking daily walks on the beach, running on the beach, swimming in the ocean. I wanted that my whole life. I thought maybe one day I'll get to a point, then I'll retire down in the Caribbean somewhere, you know, because I thought you had to leave the country and I thought you had to go down there. It's like, you know what? Puerto Rico is a U.S. territory, so we didn't have to give up a passport. We still under the same federal guidelines and laws. And I thought, okay, you know what? I came down here, I fell in love with the place. Well, we've been down here for two years and We've been trying to figure out, well, where do we live, what's our vibe and what do we want. Long story short, there was a new development being built and Denise and I decided, okay, let's get on that. It was new construction, it was a new building going to be built. And so we purchased and as you can imagine, it's, it takes a long time to get things done in the Caribbean. And so we've been waiting and then the pandemic hits. And in the meantime we've been renting places, trying to figure out where we live and waiting for this new construction to finish. Well, of course construction completely comes to a halt on non essential things like new construction down here. And so for the last 60 plus days there's been no construction on our future home. And so it's like we're not living where we want and we're just kind of, you know, we're waiting it out. And yet instead of having that as a sense of dread, Denise goes into, oh, planning mode. Now we don't know when we're going to get there, but we can still plan. So she's already designed every single room. She's already shown me the layouts and everything been still moving forward the pieces that you can, ordering this, getting that light, getting that fan, doing things and same thing. Listen, how many of you had a trip or vacation cancel anyone? You had something you were looking forward to, you had to cancel it. You know, we were looking forward to going to a certain foreign country this year and had to cancel. But guess what, we can still go. Okay, we don't know we're going to do that in September. Now is that gonna happen? October? We don't have a date. But guess what we can still do well when we get there. What are we gonna do when we get there? So we're still researching what are the cool activities we'll do when we go there? What are the adventures we'll have when we go there? Who might we get to invite when we go there? We don't know the date, but the trip is visual, it's real. We know things we're gonna do there. And that is a, that is a post into the future that we can look forward to. Talk, discuss, dream up. It can be that simple. It can be that simple. It can be a place you are going to go, a family outing. But here is what I want to know. Listen, the difference between what I am talking about, this is not hope and inspiration. This is coaching you to sit down today with a calendar and Every single week, build something in that you can look forward to and talk to with your spouse, your partner, your family, your team. Build it in, talk about it, discuss it, get excited about it. That's what you got to do. It's tactical. It's every day I want you to sit there. You know, for me, it's when I wake up in the morning. When I wake up in the morning, I lay in bed for an extra couple minutes, and I just visualize and think about things I'm excited about. Think about the future. Think. Think about things. I don't even know how it's going to happen. You know, we're working on a documentary. I have no idea when that's going to get done, no idea when it's going to come out. But I sit there and I imagine scenes that might be in it, conversations might be in it, places we might air it. Just sit and dream about it. I don't get attached to. Does it turn out exactly as how I want it? No, no, no. That's called flexibility, babes. That's adaptability, my friends. That's your ability as a high performer to pivot, to make things happen, to manifest. You can do that. But manifestation comes after visualization. And if you're not manifesting what you're wanting and if you're not manifesting the energy that you want in your life, I promise there's a disconnection with the future. And it's not because the future doesn't hold promises for you. It's because you haven't made the plans for the future because you're scared they won't come true. I want you to visualize a bigger future for yourself than you ever have before. Not because it's disconnected of the reality of the pandemic right now, but because you have a choice, and it's right here on this card. If you're going through the motions, dread will be there. If you're not visualizing the future, dread will be there. Even if you have good things in the world and you got to do them every single day, dread will be there. But if you build in excitement, and you got to figure out what that means for you psychologically, you got to figure out what that means for you, your family, your spouse, psychologically, emotionally, spiritually. You got to know the answers. I don't know the answers. My job as your coach is give you that prompt, beg you, cajole you, cheer you on, give you that impetus to say, ooh, how do I build excitement back in? Because, dang it, I've been in too much protection zone. Brendan, you're dang right. I've been a little bit myopic focused right now to handle things, which is good. But listen, I talked to a friend last night who lost everything, laid off 30 employees, been building his dream for 17 plus years. Lost the business. Lost the business. In this. The dread was there. The dread was there. It was real. Day before that dear friend of mine lost a family member to coronavirus. The dread was there. The grief was there. Both people had to cope. Both people had that feeling of, oh my gosh. So when I talk about visualization, manifestations and hopes and dreams, I don't do it disconnected from reality. I say, if we don't touch base with that future, if we can't see ourselves moving on when we lose family, if we can't see ourselves rebuilding, if we can't see ourselves with a better future, then what's it going to feel like? And who owns the fact that it feels like that? Because we have that choice, we sometimes just forget the choice and we forget the ability to build that excitement in. To build that in. Because even in the person who lost family members, they could start thinking about, how are we going to honor this person? How when things come around, when we can get together to celebrate this person's life? How are we going to get together to celebrate this person's life? Let's do that. Let's get together and celebrate this person's life. How can we build things, create things, share things together to celebrate this person's life? Oh, I lost my job. Oh, I lost my business. Okay, what can I be excited about starting anew because now there's all this white space. What can I learn? I wanted to learn these things for years. I wanted to do these specific things. And let me try them now. Let me get excited about those things. I'm not saying that the loss isn't there. And I'm not saying detach from the loss, be unaware, try to stuff it down. I'm saying that can be there and excitement and adventure and joy. The human being is capable of holding strong, extraordinary amounts of emotion, extraordinary ability to expand and feel like there's this myth that you can't be, you know, angry and grateful at the same time. I'm like, oh, that person has never studied emotion ever. Ever. That's not true. It's not true. It's a nice thought. And it reminds us of a dichotomy of a choice that we get to make. But we can simultaneously emotions and feelings because they do linger. Sure you can. Absolutely. I can be grateful that I had my father and mad in the same instant that he's dead, sad that he's gone. I can be grateful for an opportunity and sad that I'm not capable of ready for it yet. It's okay. We are immense inside. You can so what I'm saying is, it's okay if you feel vulnerable or sad or lost or you're struggling with capability and coping. And that is also, though, why I encourage you to build in those touch points with the future. Hey all, I hope you enjoyed this episode. If you did, would you please smash that subscribe button and also post any questions you have down below? Because it's these questions that you're all asking that inspires these episodes. I'd love to hear what what you think about it. Also, if you would love to join us on our next upcoming live training. We call it our High Performance Experience Coaching Program. If you'd like some coaching and have some perspective and get some two hours of live with me every single month, then click the link in the post down below so you can join us in HPX Coaching. I'd love to give you some more strategies, more insight and more interaction to help you reach your next level of success. Until next time. Again, please subscribe, Share this video with anybody who could be inspired inspired by it today and thanks one more time for being part of my community.