How to be BOLD and Build Your Dream Life

By making self improvement a way of life. By every day touching the rim of your potential. By studying something in personal development, by finding some sense of inspiration, by having a little bit of daily reflection. So we get a little better and better and better. A little more intentional and more intentional. We just get better. And the highest performing people in the world, I know they sought clarity on a daily basis because they knew by doing that, by exploring themselves, exploring their inner world and their outer world, they would suddenly find progress over time. I've had the Blessing now for 20 years of coaching people at top levels. I mean, you'd be astounded by the number of awesome people I've gotten to work with from all walks of life, from countries all around the world, different industries, different careers, different life stages. And what most people think about these high performers who I've been able to work with is that at some level they, they must just have remarkable luck. They must have the perfect childhood, the great schools, they must come from, the great culture, the perfect background. They got it all just made. Oh my gosh, how lucky they are. And the truth is, hey, just like any successful person, they can admit they're blessed and that they have had great opportunities. But you know what I've noticed about them? Two things. Number one, they make improvement a way of life. And I keep bringing that back to you by making self improvement a way of life. By every day touching the rim of your potential. By studying something in personal development, by finding some sense of inspiration, by having a little bit of daily reflection. So we get a little better and better and better, a little more intentional and more intentional. We just get better. And the highest performing people in the world, I know they sought clarity on a daily basis because they knew by doing that, by exploring themselves, exploring their inner world and their outer world, they would suddenly find progress over time. The second thing is today's personal growth topic for you, and that is boldness. Boldness. Listen, I talk about boldness a lot, if you didn't know. I actually filmed a course with Oprah Winfrey Network called you'd Next Bold Move, which was an epic course. But that course was so powerful because it taught people that boldness isn't something that you kind of are. It's that you do things over a period of time and you become more and more bold and people perceive you as more bold and you get more bold action. So I wanted to break it down for you today in four simple ideas, four concepts related to this boldness. And I think this is important. First, boldness Begins with decisiveness. No one's bold unless they made a decision. They're decisive. They've made that decision between A and B and they're going to go with A. They have made that difficult decision to start the thing, to end the thing, to build the thing, to move forward. And that decisiveness is important because look how many people stay in terrible jobs or relationships for year over year over year over year over year. And then 20 years go by and they go like, oh my gosh, what did I do? I should have made the decision back then. And I talk with entrepreneurs all the time who say, gosh, I wish I let that employee go a year or two ago. I knew it. Everyone knew I didn't do it. They just weren't bold enough to make the decision. Same thing is when someone meets somebody, they're like, oh my gosh, I'm so attracted to him or her and I really like them. I see them 10 or 12 times. They never make the approach. They just don't decide to do the thing. And that is so important. There's probably, if you think about it, there's probably five or 10 big decisions you've been waiting to make. Now you might not consider them big, but they are because they've been decisions you've been waiting on for weeks or months, year over year. And there's, it's time. It's just time to make the dang decision. Be bold about it. Number two, boldness requires needle moving action. What does that mean? Well, you're not bold when you're just shuffling little papers. You're not bold when you're taking tiny little action steps. Those are important for consistency and long term results, which we'll talk about. But boldness means you're doing something big as well. And what we talk about in high performance is identifying those needle movers. It's kind of like Pareto's principle, more or less. What are the 20% of things that you can do that drive 80% of the results? Well, focus on those. If five things really generate all of the revenue for your business, then why are you doing 500 things and spreading yourself thin? If what really makes the difference in relationships is time well spent together in adventure or great conversations, then why is it we spend so much time washing dishes together and doing all the household tasks? Those are important. But what if once in a while we threw in something that really moved the needle, that made the relationship significantly better? That real vulnerable conversation, that real sharing that real adventure together? Whatever you're trying to do in your life you've got a new needle moving actions, same thing. So many people say, ah, I want to get healthy. And so they do all these goofy, screwy little things and you know, they've bought a million wearables, they're tracking a million different things. It's like, hey, they need a moving action. Go to gym four times per week, eat less bad food, sleep better. Let's start there. You know, there's needle moving actions, there's a million things you can do, but only a few matters. If you haven't read my book High Performance habits, we measured 100 different performance variables. What this means in our research world is a performance variable is something that has been statistically correlated with long term success. Well, guess what? Out of the hundred plus variables that we measured and out of the 300 plus scientific interviews, out of all of the work, it turned out there were just six high performance habits, that they're the strongest one. Correlations to long term success, positive relationships and wellbeing, those are the needle movers. If you're going to practice any habits, those are the habits that science has revealed make the greatest difference. So people think, I do a million things to become quote, unquote successful. I'm like, I do six. I do the high performance habits, I make sure they're part of my life and I just make sure I'm tracking and managing to see am I doing well in those areas and if not, do better. But those are the needle moving actions. Number three. Consistency is the real tell of boldness. You know what, anyone can make a big move, take that action, make that call, make the approach, do the thing. But you know what? It's real bold to show up and do it again and again and again. Everyone has an idea for a business. It's real bold to spend your actual time, money and effort over 90 days, over six months, over a year or two following that. That's what real boldness is. Real boldness keeps showing up. You know, courage is often an act. Bold, living, courageous, living, consistency over and over and over. People have told me so many times in my career, man, you're so bold in what you do. And I'm like, really? I think I'm the most boring, bland guy in the industry. I'm literally doing the same thing today as I was doing 20 years ago. Writing books, recording audios, filming courses and tutorials, coaching people, doing seminars. Same thing. There's consistency in it. But boy, wow, wow, you know, it's amazing you went on that stage or you tried to do that thing on the stage, or you tried to do that partnership or gosh, you guys built this company that did this unicorn thing. Look at you guys like all those things. Consistency. People don't see it. It's just consistency, consistency, consistency, day after day after day. You started some great things this year and you gave up on them. Go back, start them again, hit refresh, do it again, do it again. Consistency, consistency, consistency. Fourth idea related to boldness today for you is independence is a sign of boldness. You know, so many people, they wait for approval forever because they're people pleasers or they're so interdependent minded that they never make the move and do the thing to demonstrate their real independent thought, their own critical thinking, their own action and will. And so they're actually living slave to other people's expectations. They're living trapped in the boundaries other people have set, the expectations that other people desire for them. And they're often trapped in a downward spiral of thinking as a perfectionist, trying to please everybody and get everything right just so they can be approved. Boldness. You see, when we celebrate people in the world, just automatically when you see the media celebrating someone, it's almost always because there's a little bit of maverick there. Think of your great business owners, think of the people who started the great brands and companies of today. There's a little bit of maverickness, a little bit of they were a little bit independent minded and willed. They didn't go and paint by the colors. They kind of followed their own path. And because they followed their own path, they developed a unique character and a unique way of serving other people. They seemed bold over a period of time and it was just that they were independent minded and followed that will. Ooh, how have you been doing? So much of personal development is just learning these new ideas and testing ourselves and challenging ourselves. What I've always taught all my high performers is that sometimes you just got to look at yourself and gauge yourself, how am I doing in that area? Not get down when you're not being great about it. Just be aware, Listen, your last week and your last month and your last six months and how you survived through last crazy 12 and 18 months. There was demonstrations of boldness along the way or they were not. And what we can do is be honest about it and determine whether or not it's useful to take some bold actions, take to make some real decisions, to get more consistent, to really flex our independent mind, to live an authentic life. These are choices and these are choices that are Ignited by listening to personal development. So today you've entered a new gate of self awareness just by exploring this topic every day. When we take on a new topic, it opens up your mind. It helps you with your self awareness and your self evaluation. It gives you new ideas and basic reminders of things you might already know, but you just haven't decided upon until action consistently enough. That is why we're here. I know the future holds good things for you, and you and I both know every day is a great day to grow desire. You know, so many people think, oh, my gosh, Brennan, I've lost my motivation or I've lost my purpose, or, you know, when they look back at their week, they just kind of feel like they went through the motions. They're not satisfied, they're not fulfilled. They're. They're just kind of feeling like, ugh, I went through the week and I trudged through another week. Now, I know that's not true for everybody. We've all had weeks like that, for sure. And I'm here to say it's okay. It all balances out. And there's no question that you still want and desire an extraordinary life. We forget that sometime we get disconnected from our own desires and we focus on the tasks at hand and the obligations and responsibilities we've built up all around us. And we try to please people and meet expectations, and sometimes we lose our own sense of self in that. And so today's topic is about reigniting that desire, that sense of passion and hunger and enthusiasm about the world, about your place in it, about where you're going in your life. So today's four ideas. Number one, you never have desire unless you look at it. You know, it's one of those things that everyone finds out when they're dating. When. When you go out on a date and you see that person you're interested in, like the sparks and the chemistry starts flying all over again. You know, maybe when you go home, you think about them, but when you see them again, it's a different level of engagement and excitement. Well, sorry to tell you, but if you haven't figured out yet your goals, your dreams, the same way, why is it generation after generation of psychologists and personal development teachers and mental health practitioners tell people to create a vision board? Why is it some of the most replicated studies in history of, you know, decent, practical psychology have shown that if you write your goals down, you're more likely to achieve them? Why is it. Well, we know it. It's common sense that when you look at what you really desire over and over and over again. It grooves into your brain, it reminds you what's important, and it reconnects to that spark again. But like I always say, so many people set that big desire at new Year, and they never look at the list again. So maybe this time of year it's good. Like, break out that goal list, open up your plan, write it down, type it in, capture it. What are the goals for the rest of this year? What are you excited about? Look at those goals again. Look at those goals again. Every single day, I look at my goals. Every single day I do my plan and my planner. Why do I need to. Yes. If I want to continue experiencing the vibrancy and the passion of it all? It's easy to forget. I mean, look at how many couples never really look at themselves anymore over dinner. How many people are in rooms and hanging out together, but they're not really there with each other. Presence and attention to things that matter to us is what enlivens that moment so important. If you want to re. Cultivate desire, look at the thing second. Look beyond obligation. Look beyond obligation. You know, if you're in a place where you're like, gosh, I just don't know what I want anymore, maybe you're in transition. You've transitioned from one career to another, the kids have left the house, or you're just changing a health routine, and you're just in that place of shifting and uncertainty of change, of what I call transition. And in those times, you know, there's a little bit of a decompression that happens, a little bit of a moment where you're not sure what you want and the stress is fading off a little bit from what you used to be, and you're wandering in the wilderness a little bit, you're not sure what you want to do in transition. Or sometimes you're in burnout, you're overwhelmed, you already got a plate full of stuff, and you're just like, oh, my gosh, I just don't feel it anymore. Well, sometimes to cultivate the desire is to look out beyond the obligation, the responsibilities, out into the dreams again. Go sit by the ocean and stare in that vastness of it all. Go grab a favorite book and hang out in the park alone under a tree, just reading again. Take a few long walks by yourself without the phone and just think again. You know, think about the future again. Don't let your vision be clouded by all the things you have today and the things you don't have and all your current competencies. Instead, just start daydreaming and don't feel like you have to land on the perfect answer or the complete certainty of all the next steps. Instead, just let your mind wander today, a few days in meditations ahead and just allow an open space. Sometimes, by opening up our minds beyond what has to happen right now, we start to discover and remember other things. Old passions, old dreams, old goals. And sometimes even better yet, something, an intuition, a vision reveals itself to us and we have a grand new map, a new destination. It's okay to dream again. Third, you know, if you're really struggling, just remember, follow your interests. Follow what gives you enthusiasm. Follow what makes you feel satisfied at the end of the day after hard effort. Interest, enthusiasm, satisfaction after a long day of hard work. Whatever those things are, don't do them once in a while. Go down the rabbit hole. What is that interest? Can you go deeper, explore it, think about it again, revisit it, do it again next week? I think too many people, they're always chasing the next desire. This thing, that thing, this thing, that thing, this thing, that thing. And they never pursue down the rabbit hole of one interest, one skill, one passion, one hobby, one enthusiasm or one satisfying project. And that's why they lack that zeal or that desire. Because so much of desire, watch out from the personal development guy here telling you, comes from mastery. You know, the great masters tend to have the greatest consistency and motivation and passion for what they're doing. It's showing up for it again and again and again that deepens the desire versus bouncing from one thing to another to another. Be a person who's on a path of mastery in your life. I promise it feels different. And that leads to the last idea. Don't quit so fast. You know, one of the reasons people jump from desire to desire, hobby to hobby, idea, idea, and never build anything real, is because, my goodness, they just can't stick with anything. And they can't stick with anything because they're fearful. What if it doesn't turn out? What if this is all there is? What if I'm not good enough? What if they don't get it and I don't belong? But what I've learned over and over and over again is that people who stick with something just give themselves a few more chances, stay with it one more week, try to see beyond the difficulties of the season, try to stick through it even though it's a dip right now. Because we live in a world where we think everything has to Be this heightened enthusiasm, high caffeinated sugar pop of an experience where everything is perfect and easy. And sometimes the greatest hungers of life emerge when we can sit with the struggle and the challenge and the uncertainty just for a little bit longer. And it's a breakthrough. Why is so much great artistry happen? Where the great passions, the great writers, the great artists and painters, the great amazing poets, why is there so much passion bleeding from the page, jumping off of the canvas? Why? Because they stuck through the pain and they kept expressing themselves. They kept digging deeper into the uniqueness of who they were and trying to find that authentic thread of life. And by not compromising on that, by staying with it and seeing it through and sticking with that passion a little bit longer, that desire became real art. That desire became real impact. That desire became mastery at levels that most people never understand. So I'm here to say with you, yeah, it was a long week. But if you were working towards things that you were interested in, that drew enthusiasm from your heart, that felt a little bit fulfilling, even if hard, you're on the right track. If you're at least doing something every day where you're touching the helm of personal development, where you're looking at your goals, looking at yourself, looking at your interactions and responsibilities with the world, you'll start to feel a little bit differently again. You'll remember your intentions and why you're doing it all. If you remember. It's okay to look beyond right now. Your dreams and your destiny are not your current bills nor your current bank account. It's okay to see something that no one else sees out in the future and start walking towards that. We get to summon the best of us every day. That's the beautiful part of personal development. It's always inviting us to be more intentional, to be okay with who we are and urge ourselves, direct ourselves, try to go to another level next week. That's the beauty of it all. Every day is a great day to grow.