How to Become a Better Communicator

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Hey, my friends, it's Brandon Burchard and welcome to a special episode of the Brendon Show. Hey, I'm Brendon Burchard and I'm honored to be your high performance coach today. With this episode, I've spent the last 20 years studying human behavior change and writing, coaching and training literally at the top levels on the topics of motivation, focus, productivity, confidence and more. My goal, inspired by my own personal journey, is to help you and my audience live love and matter. Which means to feel more vibrant, more connected and and more fulfilled in every area of your life. That's what we're doing today. If you liked today's episode, grab a screenshot and share it on Instagram. Just tag me Enonbuchard so I can see you and give you a shout out or a hello. And if you want to go to another level of personal development in your life this month, be sure to join me live every month in my coaching program. Just visit HPXCoaching to get signed up. I teach a brand new personal development session every single month. Meaning it's like a personal development seminar for you. Live every single month on the first of the month and then after I teach that for about 75 minutes, then we do live breakouts where you get to meet new people, network with people, set your monthly goals and establish real accountability for your growth. Listen, you know that expert guidance and real consistency and an inspiring community is critical to your growth. So join me this month on the 1st. Just go to hpxcoaching.com that's hpxcoaching.com it's time to level up, my friend. It's time to take your year back. It's time to find that focus and that confidence and that vibrancy and that vibe. Again, go to hpxcoaching.com and and let me be your coach into fuller levels of high performance in every area of your life. Now, without further ado, let's jump into today's episode.

So what makes you a great communicator? If you and I have lunch and I walk away and I'm like, wow, she was a great communicator. Why am I going to say that? Usually because you helped elicit my feelings, you helped elicit my goals, and you helped elicit my process. How's it going? Great listeners aren't just reflecting things back to somebody. Great listeners are also helping others share more. And what do people love to share? They love to share things about their life, their passions, their interests. Okay, you can reflect those things back to people. But if you go one level deeper and you're the person who helps people share their feelings around you, I mean, isn't it funny? The most advanced communication strategy in the world is to elicit emotion more. Elicit emotion more, to ask about their feeling. So when they describe their day, it's instead of you saying, oh, then what did you do next? That's like procedural. Instead, it's like, oh, how did you feel about that? Some of you guys know I was lucky to work with and know and do business with one of the persons considered one of the great interviewers in history. Both two different types of people with. Larry King is a great friend and mentor and done work with him. And Oprah Winfrey, great friend and mentor and done work with her. Both of them are master, master listeners. Something I learned from Larry that I'll never forget, that I will never forget is I was kind of asking him what makes a great interviewer. And he gave me this example of the question. One of the first questions he asked Mark Zuckerberg, who's the CEO of Facebook, as you guys know, right? So the CEO of Facebook. So think about this. You have the opportunity to interview Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO of Facebook, at a time, especially when they interviewed, was, you know, pretty much the biggest conversation in the tech con, in the tech world, the fastest growing company in the tech world. It was, right? Everything. So you get to sit down, somebody who's building the biggest platform literally in the history of the planet, they're running it. What are you going to ask them?

Here's what Larry told me.

He asked Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Facebook. His favorite question to him was, so, Mark, what's it feel like to be the CEO of Facebook? What's it like to be the CEO of Facebook? He went right to trying to get to like, what does that feel like? That's a big company. You know, you reach, you know, 2 billion people now. What's that feel like? See, great communicators are listening, observing, asking about feelings. Emotion, right. Oprah's magic on her set was she was able, through her vulnerability and her openness for 25 years on television at the top, to be able to have people feel so comfortable with her presence that they would openly share their feelings where it wouldn't happen on other shows, right? You watch Oprah Winfrey, and then you watch like, you know, a news television broadcast, it's completely different. The engagement she had with other people because she was willing to go into emotion. You've got to be willing to go into emotion. If you're trying to do anything with people, lead them, persuade them, sell, help, serve, emotion has to bubble up. You need to elicit feeling from people way more often. Way more often. It's not just, hey, honey, how did school go today? Well, I went to this class. I had this for lunch. This kid was nice. This kid wasn't. It's like, how did you feel about that? How did you feel about that? What were you feeling when that was happening?

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These types of questions are so basic and people forget to ask them. But that's what's really advanced because that's what elicits more. What's advanced in communication strategies. What does what elicits more? What elicits more but not just more information. More, more feeling. So I said, you're listening for three things. Feelings, goals. This is so important. Great coaches, as an example, always say, oh, so once they get the feeling, oh, what did you want to feel? What did you want from that? What are you hoping is going to happen? If everything was great, what's next month look like? What are you trying to do? What are you trying to do by the end of this month? The end of this year? Right? Just getting people to speak about their goals, their desires, their ambition, their hopes, their dreams. Great communicators do that with people. You know, really great communicators do that. I've been blessed to work with two different presidents, two different US Presidents, one Democratic, one Republican, so don't you freak out. And what I noticed in both of them, in both of them, their ability to have a conversation with people and ask them about their family and what they want for their family. Think about that. The greatest politicians in the world are talking about, this is what you probably want for your family. Or asking, what would you like for your family? What do you hope for in your career? What would you like this nation to be like? What would you like this country to be like? That question of, what are our goals here? What are we trying to do here? What do you want? What are you after? That's the questions of great communicators. So I said, feelings, goals, and this last place, which is so important. Process, Process. Tell me how you did that. What were you thinking through when you were doing that? What did you want when you were doing that? How did that turn out? If you could do it again, what different, what would you do differently? These are process questions, right? Questions about not just how's it going, but how are they feeling, thinking and experiencing how it is going. Think about this pandemic right now, right? All you gotta do is go, pandemic. How's that going for you? Right? And immediately people start talking at you. Boy, if you've ever wanted to communicate with people, this is the year of talking through how they've managed a pandemic. Economic melee, political disc. Like, it's so easy to engage people in conversation this year, right? Because what do most people usually talk about? How was your commute this morning? How is the weather? But now we have bigger things to talk about, larger concerns, and because of that, it's easier to get conversation going. But a lot of people forget about process, you know, did you talk with your family about how these last 30 days went for them? How they felt, what they wanted, where they want next month, how they want it to go now. Literally, on this conversation, on a walk this morning with my wife, before I even talked about what I was talking about here today, we're just talking about, oh, okay, well, we survived October, right? Okay. Got through that is culturally, economically, in the world with the businesses, it's like, great, but what do we want now? Like, we're always kind of recalibrating, how do we want our day to go? We talked about morning routines or we talked about, like, what we want to learn and. And just in a conversation about what do we want it to be like now? Great communicators and great relationships and couples are always talking about that. How do we want to live? What do you want from this life? What do you want from this life? What do we want together? How should we do this journey together? That's process, right? Communicators are doing that all the time. What should this feel like? What should this be about? How do we want it to go? That's process.

All right. Hey, my friend. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If you're ready to go to another level, don't Forget, go to hpxcoaching.com Let me be your coach. Let me spend the first of each month with you, giving you a personal development seminar. Let me help you get unstuck, break through your emotional blocks, find your real clothes, clarity, your real passion, your real purpose, and implement the habits that you know you need to implement. Change your life by getting a coach, getting some expert guidance. Listen, you got as far as you could get. You're here. You've achieved so much in your life. But to go to another level requires another level of mindset, another level of discipline, another level of direction and community and consistency. See, and that is what my coaching program is all about. So go to hpxcoaching.com and listen, if you're ready to go to a whole other level, I'm hiring. Please go to brendon.com hiring for our open roles. I got a big secret project that we are rolling out and you'll only find information that@Brendan.com hiring we've got, I don't know, 10 or 12 open positions there. If you ever wanted to work with me, if you wanted me to be your leader, you wanted me to literally employ you and help you grow in your career and do what we do, serving this mission of helping people around the world achieve their dreams faster, helping them improve their lives. We live every day as a team to do that. And we are currently hiring. We're building out a new product and we need some people to help us do that. Brendan.com hiring if you don't know how to spell my name, don't even think about it. We're looking for people who are pros. If you're interested in internship with me, don't go there. We're not hiring interns. If you're interested in starting your career with me, don't go there. We are an a team here. We've got people who are really experienced. So if you're new to personal development or you're new to marketing, you're probably not going to be the person we're looking for. We're looking for people with at least three years of professional experience in a lot of different roles because we take this role very seriously. We get to change lives and millions of them every single day. That's the work. So we're looking for real pros. Top of your game, Ready to come on to an organization that reaches just as many people in the world as any other personal development influencer or trainer on the planet. And we'd be excited to have you join us in a big new initiative we're rolling out for the beginning of the year. I can't even tell you any more about that. Go to brendon.com hiring if you'd like to work with us. And if you just want to go to another level and have me as your coach, not your Boss. Go to hpxcoaching.com so I can give you a brand new personal development session this month to help you set your goals, get on track and get unstuck and achieve your ultimate difference. Go to HBXCoaching.com for that. Thanks again for listening to the Brendon show. You all mean so much to me. I have so much coming out in the next couple months for you here that's going to be unique and special and I know you're going to love it. So keep your head up. I know it's been a hard year. Please remember, as always, you are stronger than you think and the future holds good things for you.

Sam.