How to Become More Capable

Here's the thing, you got to celebrate the days that you are capable when you do something good. Go, good job. Pat yourself on the back a little bit. You have to integrate the wind into your identity. If you took all of your strengths and all of your good days and all the wonderful things you have done in your life and you really sat with them for a minute and you let that integrate into the identity of who you were, you would feel an internal goodness. And see, when you integrate the good of what you're doing in life, you feel good. Capability is, you can do it, you can do it every time. It is like a strength, if you will. It is something that is, you are highly capable at that thing. You are at another level of skill that it shows up every single time. But here's the truth. Capability. Capability is as much as a mindset as a competence. Let me give you an example. A lot of extremely smart people who can handle the problem don't handle the problem because they don't feel capable. It's like, yeah, I know it, but I don't do it. It's like a lot of people who achieve a lot of great things, they actually, how many of you know someone who's very competent, has great skills, but lacks the capability to execute? See, capability is something you know. Capability is self trust to take the action. It's not just do I know how to take the action, it's I'm an action taker, I'm going to show up, I'm capable to handle this, I'm going to, I will do this. I trust in myself to handle this, to execute, to execute again and again and again and again and again. That's capability. And I really want you to develop that in your heart and in your soul by checking off the simplest of things each day. By if you have a list of three to do lists, if you wrote down your three top priorities for the day, do those first. Before you do your social media, before you reply to everyone's DMs inbox, you know, voice message, texts, it's like, listen, I have so many people who, they spend all day just checking their email to reply to everybody else. Now that's fine if that's your job. If that's customer service, do that, that's your job. But if you're an entrepreneur as an example, or you have a whole list of other priorities and you're just checking into other people's agendas all day to meet all their obligations and you keep missing your key priorities day after day after Day after day, your brain doesn't feel like you're capable anymore. Even though you might be smart, you're competent, but your brain doesn't believe you're capable. You know what I mean? It's so important to understand this. I know if you're a parent, you understand this difference. Lots of kids can learn things and have things and have skills and abilities, but if they don't put them and apply them, they don't sense that feeling of capability. And now your smart child, your child full of strength, talent and ability, doesn't run on the field, doesn't take the action, doesn't finish the test, doesn't go for it. They don't feel capable. Why don't they feel capable? They don't have a pattern of action taking. You've got to develop the pattern of taking the action, the pattern of taking the action. Better yet, the pattern of taking the action to complete the key priorities. So all I want you to do as a daily, simple habit, every morning we do it in the High performance planner. I write down my key priorities for the day. Do those first, get those out of the way, make that happen. Maybe that's your morning. Maybe. For me, I didn't feel capable of my career for a long time because I was replying to everybody. And then I did a simple thing. I said, you know what? No phone calls till 1pm in the afternoon, my time. That leaves the morning to do the most important work. Because I do the most important work almost every morning of my life, I feel incredibly capable. Give me a task list. Give me that log is happening in the brain. Good job today. Good job today. Good job today. Good job. That consistency, that congruence, developed the capability. Now I feel capable. And I am capable because I executed. Because I executed so many times, I developed the skill. Y' all follow. This is so important. Okay, this is so important, this capability piece. And the best part is when you get some capability, if you'll do what we talked about earlier, self reflection, you'll start to go, look what I did there. If you do what I've always taught, which is you have to integrate the wins. Integrate the wins. When you do something, take a moment and go, I did that yesterday. Here's how simple this is yesterday. After months of thinking, strategizing and planning, I created this presentation and I sent the email and it took me about two hours to pull this off. But I just decided, you know what? This has been on my big dream list for a while. I'm going to make this pitch. It's a pitch. And so I said, okay, I'm going to get it done. And I finally sent it. And I'll tell you what, I walked out in the other room, Denise, like, what's up with you? I was just feeling so good. I said, I'm going to have a nice glass of wine with dinner tonight to celebrate. I did this. It was sending an email, but I was selling somebody, like, I'll have a glass of wine every time I send an email. Yes, sure. Thank you. But here's the thing. You got to celebrate the days that you are capable when you do something good. Go. Good job. Pat yourself on the back a little bit. You have to integrate the win to your identity. If you took all of your strengths and all of your good days and all the wonderful things you have done in your life, and you really sat with them for a minute, you let them come in, you let them mentally stack where you just thought of that time. You finished that big project, you launched that thing, you got the negotiation, you won the award. You handled that tough situation at the park with the kids well. You didn't get brought into their drama. You just took some time for yourself, and you let that integrate into the identity of who you were. You would feel an internal goodness. And see, when you integrate the good of what you're doing in life, you feel good. And I don't mean that like, with hyperbole. I mean you sense goodness again, when I sense that I'm good. Because, one, in my opinion, I'm lucky to be here. My clarity says, if you are alive, have reverence for life. You're a child of God. What a gift. You are so lucky. You're blessed to be here. So for me, I feel capable as a person. I feel I've been given gifts and strengths. Yeah, I had to develop a lot of them just like you did. But because I trust that I was given those gifts or those strengths or this life, I feel capable. I feel like, you ever heard that thing, you can do all things through Christ, which strengthens you. You ever heard about that? It's like, oh, yeah, I'm capable because I got someone watching over me. My dad's up there, my creator's up there. Grandma's up there. I feel good. I feel good. I feel capable. Because, you know, I've done some good things. Okay, you let that come in. You let that goodness come in. Some of you haven't let your goodness shine for a while. Your vibrancy, your joy, that sense of soul or spirit or flow or femininity or masculinity. That part of you that's like this, because why hasn't it gone out like that? Because you haven't brought it in and stored it up. See, all you've done is deplete yourself for other people. Without those moments of self reflection about the goodness that you're doing for other people, about the goodness you're doing in the world, about the virtues and the values you stand for. You haven't let that stuff come in and sit in, sit like form into the cement of the foundation of your character. And so you wonder why it doesn't emanate. Why doesn't the goodness come out? Because you haven't sat with the goodness that's already within. Why doesn't the goodness spread out? Because you haven't sat with the goodness that's already there. If you knew half of how good of a human you are, the choices that you've made, to be on something like this, to raise your hand for personal development, to want to learn from other people, I celebrate that. I raise my hand to learn. When I go to a seminar or I buy a course, I pat myself, I'm like, good job, you're learning, kid. You're not done yet. And I feel good about myself as a learner. I think learners tend to be more confident than people who think they know everything, you know, because people who think they know everything are terrified that their worldview might break. Learners like, I'll adapt. I'll figure it out, right? That adaptation mentality, that learning mentality gives me confidence. I believe in my ability to figure things out.