How to Build Fulfilling Relationships

Hello my friends. I'm Brendon Burchard, host of the Brendon show and founder of growthday.com and I'm honored to be your high performance coach today. I believe that every day we can be inspired. We can live with intention and purpose. We can bring the joy and honor the struggles of each day to push ourselves to grow, to serve, to be a role model, to lead extraordinary lives. I believe that every day is a great day to grow. That's why I started my company, growthday.com it's an online personal growth platform where you can get me and the world's best personal development teachers live coaching you every week. Sharing our wisdom, keeping you motivated and accountable, encouraging you to find the aliveness and the connection and meaning of life that we're all after. If you're not a member yet, please go sign up@growthday.com and join our huge worldwide community of achievers. For less than a dollar a day, you get the world's best teachers live every week. And look, you've probably known for a long time that you needed some expert guidance, an inspired community and life changing tools. So please, your breakthrough awaits you@growthday.com now let's get to today's episode. My friends, please listen closely. Maybe you take some notes so you remember these insights of personal growth and share this episode with three of your friends because we all have to share more positive messages in the world today. So share this with three friends just like you who are committed to their personal growth. And also be sure to tag me or DM me on Instagram. Rendon Burchard, Join our million plus community there on Instagram so I can say hi. Thanks again for listening.

Now let's begin. Be committed to building the circle of influence that you deserve in your life. At this stage of your life, you have to be conscientious about it. You got to get at it. Because when those people around you are living a life of impact and meaning and fulfillment, it lifts you up because sometimes you will drown in your own discouragement. And it is your circle of influence, the people around you, the people in your network who can help draw you out of that faster. And that is something to be grateful for. Our job in our relationships is to create real, authentic, caring interactions. Real, authentic, caring. Write it down. Real, authentic, caring. Real means that we are being who we really are in that relationship, right? We are being real with that person. We're speaking our real thoughts, feelings, dreams, desires, needs. We understand and hear their real thoughts, feelings, desires, needs, and dreams. We validate it, we appreciate it, we are acknowledging it. That's being real with one another. We're meeting each other as two people who are separate. We're coming together, creating a real connection based on actual honesty and trust that comes from sharing one another's real thoughts, feelings, desires, dreams, needs. That's real. Authentic. Authentic means, oh, this relationship is unique to us. So often we're taught in the modern world, authenticity is about us. Because we all think of authenticity now as like social media. Am I showing up real in my social media? But in real life, in family dynamics or sociology, authenticity is about the relationship. It's I am authentic with myself in relationship with my sister. We have an authentic relationship. And my relationship with my mom is different. We have an authentic relationship. An authentic relationship with my mother means different things than an authentic relationship with my sister as an example, right? Each person, you have a team. You have a team. If you treat each person on the team exactly the same because you're always authentic, that's not an authentic relationship. An authentic relationship is that relationship with them is real and unique to them. It's authentic with that person. That's what we're talking about here. We've got to be able to have on top of this realness or this authenticity, this sense of there's a depth or an intimacy in that relationship. Depth would be like, oh, I know things about this person. Intimacy could mean the same thing, but there's a depth there that could be physical as well. But I think depth or intimacy in sharing with one another is really important. I think most people don't have fulfilling relationships because they don't have deep relationships. They're always talking about surface things. They're talking about what's on tv, they're talking about the weather, they're talking about what's in the media. They're talking about comparison to other people, but they never talk about the meaning of life. I would say you barely know a person until you've talked about the meaning of life with someone, because what do you really know if you're not connected or understanding what their sense of purpose is or where they draw fulfillment or meaning from. So this whole conversation we're having today, if you had conversations like this with your family, think about how deeper those relationships would be. I know some of you are laughing right now because you can imagine never having this conversation with your family. I totally understand. But I think it's important that we say, okay, if I want to have a great relationships, they've got to be Real. They've got to be trusting, they've got to be intimate, they've got to be deeper. And. And the more I would say this. I was talking with Denise actually about this topic this morning, and she was like, when she thinks about meaning and fulfillment, her first go to is relationships. First go to because, you know, if the people around you don't ever sense fulfillment, if the people around you don't imbue moments with meaning, then now you're left to do all the hard work. And if you haven't done personal development work before, what ends up happening is you kind of just take what's given to you. And I think it's important that we realize the people we surround ourselves with should be people who understand life's meaning, who are seeking it out, people who want to feel fulfilled, do good things, be role models, because those people lift us up.

Hey, it's Brandon jumping back in here again. Are you looking to go to the next level in your life right now? The next level of joy, abundance, success? Then you already know that you need to journal about your lessons learned in your life. You got to track your moods and your habits. You have to learn from the best personal development coaches and teachers in the world. And you got to stay inspired and accountable so that you can be more focused, disciplined, joyous, and keep growing. That's what the Growth Day app is going to help you to do, my friend. It's the world's first all in one personal development app. It has all of the tools you need, all the coaching and the community that you need to level up to progress every week, to track your breakthroughs and to keep growing in every area of your life consistently over the long term. So go start your transformation right now at Growth Day or just download the Growth Day app on your phone right now. Every day. You can keep improving every day. We are here for you. And every day is truly a great day to grow together. So let's make self improvement a way of life. Let's make that self improvement stick. Go to growthday.com right now.

Has anyone had an interaction with somebody in the last year or two who reminded you about the blessings or the importance of life? And when you're around those people, everything changes. I was so blessed. My entire 20s I spent with older people a generation above 2, above mine. And so I was a volunteer. So I did a lot of volunteering and I spent a lot of times with, like, with groups like, you know, Kiwanians or Rotary club members, ymca and you know, most of those Folks who I hung out with were like in their 60s and above, and they are always saying, kid, you don't realize how lucky you have it. You know, kid, make sure you drink. Take it all in. Kid, you know what? Life is so precious. They were always saying, I was around my entire 20s, people telling me about the value and the beauty and the importance and the blessing of life all the time. All the time. I mean, constantly, every weekend, I'm volunteering all the time. And you know what? That's why I feel like, wow. I don't feel like I've had any disconnect from that for 20 years because I was around it so much. Because, remember, the people around you, they shape your meaning. Yes, it's individual. Yes, we can take control of it. Yes, we can define it. But you know what? No matter what, some of those things get through, your environment shapes you because you're soaking it. And so make sure the relationships you have are high quality. Now, this is everyone's like, but Brennan, you don't understand my spouse. Well, he's a doozy. It's like, if you're around people who aren't like this, the job isn't to get rid of them and throw them away. The job is to go build that group somewhere else. To find that, to find that, to build it. If you didn't get it, you didn't just luckily fall into a group. I didn't have that. I grew up in a town that had been economically depressed for a century. I grew up in a town that it was so survival mindset, but also very aggressive and competitive. There wasn't a whole lot of talk about these things. And I had to go find and build it. I had to start going to personal development seminars. I had to engage with higher achievers. I had to look for people who had fulfillment in their lives no matter what they were doing, and I had to seek them out. And I made that a choice. I made that a decision. I said, I'm going to create an awesome group of people, be around in my life. I don't know how, but I'm going to do networking, I'm going to do volunteering. I'm going to ask to be around people, and I'm going to get mentors, and I'm going to make sure that I surround myself with people who care about life, who want to live meaningful and fulfilling lives, who want to lead, who want to make a difference. And I can't think of a single person at all in my entire life. Today. That decision was 25 years ago, for me, I can't think of a single person who I have a consistent or recurring communication with in my entire life who isn't like that. Now, every person to a person to a t, Every person I interact with has some sense of that or they don't get in my world. It doesn't mean I'm unfair or discount people. It just means I'm not going to let that stuff into my head. And I don't say that I'm perfect. I say it took me 20 years. Like I said, that's going to be a goal. I'm going to get there and I want you to have that goal. Like, the people around you should be so fulfilled and so happy and grateful for their lives. And you got to find that, you got to lead that. You got to cultivate that. You got to talk about that. I think fulfillment should be a topic that people talk about every single month of their life. If you're in relationship with someone, ask your spouse or your partner, hey, do you feel fulfilled? And just hold that space. If they don't feel fulfilled, ask why. Get to know them. Understand what they're really looking for. Encourage them to go in the direction that will bring them that fulfillment. Encourage them. At the end of a bad day, when you hear them say sentence after sentence of negative self talk or meaning after meaning, that's catastrophic, terrible, negative, awful. Be that encourager. Be that person who helps them maybe think about or become more aware of that self talk or those labels or that meaning. You can do it without judgment, but you can also be committed to building the circle of influence that you deserve in your life. At this stage of your life, you have to be conscientious about it. You got to get at it. Because when those people around you are living a life of impact and meaning and fulfillment, it lifts you up. I have down days and then I talk to somebody in my circle and it's like, whoa. It just kind of resets my brain a little bit and I go, oh, I've been speaking negative. Oh, I've been thinking small and all right, okay. Yeah, I am lucky. I am blessed. Oh, my gosh, let's go, Brandon. And I get back on. Because sometimes you will drown in your own discouragement. And it is your circle of influence, the people around you, the people in your network who can help draw you out of that faster. And that is something to be grateful for.

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