How to Build Resilience Into Your Dream

Resilience is the ability to not only take criticism from others, but take off comparison. Resilience is about you getting back into your flow, into your authenticity, into your actions, not the world's. That's real resilience. Because, listen, even when you fail, most of the time when you fail, you're just embarrassed to have been seen failing by other people. It's still criticism and it's still comparison. Killing the dream. There's two things I need you to be resilient at on the dream. Number one, on R, the resilience. And this would be hard. You got to deal with rejection and your fear about what other people think. Most people think resilience is just. I just get back up and go, where do most people fall down, though? Most people fall down into the fear of rejection. That's the number one place, over and over and over. I've been doing this a long time. Most people lack resilience not because they're not mentally strong. See, in pop psychology, we get this wrong. You read all these articles on, you know, resilience. So many of them, so many of them are about just the feeling of being dejected or upset or how to deal with failure, which we'll talk about. But the most often need of resilience comes from the reality of rejection and judgment. Other people criticizing you kills the dream. You have the target, you have the habits, you're even enjoying life. And then you got that jerk of a spouse, a team member, somebody in your community, the gal next door, somebody jumps into judgment at you and you react. You hit the floor and you don't get back up. You've made their opinion of you more important than your alignment with your dream. You've made their opinion of you more important than your alignment with your dream. And that killed the dream. You chose their opinion over your dream. You chose their opinion over your dream. You chose their opinion over your dream over and over and over and over again. Even though you knew what to do, you knew the target and you had the alignment, but you chose their opinion over and over and over. That, to me, is what a lack of resilience really means. Resilience is about dealing with rejection and criticism more than just dealing with your own failure. In my opinion, we are social animals and we are so driven by the need to belong. We want to be accepted and loved, seen, heard, understood, listened to, admired, appreciated. We want to be cheered on so much. And when that doesn't happen, we believe that is related to the dream. When they're separate things, a person's opinion is way different than the dream. They're separate, but in our mind, we combine them. And if we don't get acceptance, we think the dream's gone. You don't need other people's understanding or acceptance for you to make progress toward what matters to you in life. And soon as you get that, you have real personal agency in life. As soon as you get that, you're back into the author of your own life. You are writing your story again. You're writing there your story again. The second you realize that, wow. Their opinion, their understanding, even their appreciation, even their love is not necessary for me to do my daily habit today. That's the breakthrough. Like it was not necessary for my friends to believe I could be a writer for me to sit down and write. No one had to cheer me on for me to sit down and write. As I'm filming this for you guys, I want to let you know and be totally honest with you this. There's millions of people in the world who don't like me. Who told me, what are you doing on the Internet? Who do you think you are? Oh, I read your book. It wasn't better than this other book. I like this other book. You suck. I. I mean, the meanest possible things have been said to me in my face at events or on stages. Why? Because inevitably, if you deal with millions of people, you're going to get some jerks. It just happens. It doesn't surprise me. I'm like, that's part of the process. I don't need everyone to like me. If I needed everybody to like me, I would never have this opportunity to serve with you right now. I would never enjoy my dream the way that I do. That's why it's like other people's opinions were trying to measure up to other people. It's not on my radar. Me measuring up to them has nothing to do with my daily alignment. What do I mean by that? Well, often in my career, especially, people get discouraged. They get discouraged because they measure up to other people. Oh, well, she has a million followers. Look at her quote cards versus mine. I guess I'll stop. Well, her quote cards have nothing to do with my daily habit of writing and posting. You'll follow. Resilience is the ability to not only take criticism from others, but take off comparison. Resilience is about you getting back into your flow, into your authenticity, into your actions, not the world's. That's real resilience. That's the resilience that matters. In the dark hours that's the resilience that moves a needle for you in progress. Because listen, even when you fail, most of the time when you fail, you're just embarrassed to have been seen failing by other people. It's still criticism and it's still comparison killing the dream. But when you can move forward and when you struggle, when you starting small, when you look silly, when people don't get it and you can feel that, you'll. You'll always feel it. I still feel it. You will always feel criticism and comparison. You will never be free as a human being from that to what we know. Maybe two people have ever, ever achieved that on earth. At least documents like, sounds like Jesus did, maybe Buddha did. It's like, like to be free from that and totally enlightened. Hey, maybe you're conscious and you're there and you've achieved it. I don't know many people, even the Dalai Lama, who I've been blessed to be with three times now. We'll talk about how he even feels it. It's hard. That's what resilience requires it. It's a realignment almost. Back to your authenticity, back towards your dream, back towards your actions. Even when you don't measure up and they don't approve, this will change your life. This will change your life. This will shift so much for you. I mean, I can't even tell you when you separate your daily habits from their opinions and measuring up to them and you show up in alignment for your daily habits magic. You'll be like stunned by the progress. When you let them discourage you and you stop and you choose their reality over your dream. That's where the dream is killed.