How to Combat Burnout

Listen, half of the time that I say what might throw me off today and how can my highest self meet it? Half the time I realize what might throw me off is my own attitude, my own attitude toward the thing I have to do that day. Right now is the time when a lot of people are hitting their wall. How I was talking with, I believe in an interview with an executive who said, Brendan, it seems like people right now are on their eighth cup of coffee. And what he was meaning was people are kind of fried right now. You know, they made it through the holidays. They jumped in January, we went through February, March, April. But a lot of people also are burned out right now. And they're not just burned out because the challenges of their career or, or their family. I think a lot of people also burned out because in the zeitgeist right now, there's a lot of negativity, a lot of uncertainty, but there's also this big push in the marketplace that you hear every day. You know, if you're on Instagram or you're on Facebook or it's just grind, grind, grind. Everyone's celebrating the grind. Everyone's giving you the hustle talk. So today I thought I'd do something maybe a bit unique. Today is really gonna be a sit down conversation with you about some of the things that can get you back in the mental game where it doesn't have to feel so stressful, it doesn't have to feel like a grind. It doesn't have to feel like you're running to catch up and you're freaking out all the time. Because I think a lot of people, they're trying to go into their summer and hopefully have a more relaxing experience than they've had the last six months. I don't know if that's true for you. You tell me, have you guys been stressed out? Is it a time to maybe revisit what's important to us? And is it a time to kind of find our own just sanity amidst all of the struggle? But I think what's true is that we're at a very odd time when there's so much opportunity that maybe you feel even if you are a high performer, you feel like you're still running around with your head cut off a little bit. You know, it's a little bit crazy right now. And it's time sometimes to have a coach just sit you down and say, hey, let's just focus you back in. Let's reengage you with a better emotional quality. Because see, people right now they're engaged people right now. They're grinding, they're hustling, they're working hard. And yet the energy in which they're bringing into that is the frazzle, is the grind, is the, the stress is the, I don't know if it's going right. And it's like there can be grace amid the grind, there can be happiness in the hustle and there can be enthusiasm as we are in that full effort playing out. But we have to revisit some of these things. So in a rare conversation today, I'm just going to sit here with you. There's no flip chart today. There's no fancy presentation. There's it's you, it's me having a conversation about maybe you re engaging your life right now from a different emotional energy. And while that might sound in some ways simplistic, I've just been traveling enough and reviewing enough of our comments and our students work and what we've been receiving from our high performance assessments throughout our research. And it's pretty clear that people aren't engaging their day from an emotional quality in which they want to experience. They keep saying, well, I had hoped this would bring me more happiness without reasoning in their mind. Happiness is something that we create. It's a choice. It is an engagement quality that we can bring to things versus hoping something gives it. Well, I'd hoped that buying that house would make me feel better. I would hope having the team would make it calmer. I would hope that these things gave me the emotional quality I wanted. And it's like we got to remind ourselves to enter our day with a different level of intention. And maybe you need this talk, maybe you don't, but I bet somebody in your life does. So I hope you'll tune in to some of the distinctions I'm going to share today that you can share with them because maybe you're cool, but your spouse is hustling, running around with the chicken with its head cut off, freaking out. Maybe there's just too much stress in the people around you and they forgot that they could whistle while they work, where they forgot that they could enjoy the experience. So what I'm do today is give you some tips and distinctions. I'll give you some simple things you can do in the midday a simple midday habit sequence that will help you re engage and help you find the emotional quality that you want. I'll share with you also a skill that will really help you achieve the emotional quality you want in your life. When you're a leader when you're dealing with other people, when you have a lot of sort of stress right now? Because I think a lot of people, they're cool at home, you know, when they're watching television, they're chill, they're good, they're okay. But you get them around people and they start freaking out. I'll tell you a good story about that which I witnessed not too long ago. Today I have a sit down conversation. This was spurred by some travel I've had. So thanks again everyone for participating. Number one thing, we're going to talk about, to begin, quit, grind or chill. We got this question from one of you guys in High Performance Monthly asking Brendan, I don't know if I'm just grinding for nothing right now. How do you know when to quit? How do you know if you've been going at something four, five, six months, working really hard, giving your full effort and now it's that decision point, like, is this going to pay off? Is it not going to pay off? Is it time to quit? Is it time to double down? It's one of the most, I think, important questions, particularly in marketing and in business, is to know when to fold, is to know when to call something that's not worth it. So let's talk a couple ways through the distinctions, each of these. First, let's talk about quitting. How do you know when it's time to quit? This is a really important distinction I'm going to give you. I really want you to write this down. It's probably the most important when you think about when is it time to quit? The first question I'm not going to give you is about your passions, about whether or not you love what you're doing or you're interested in it. I'm going to assume you're beyond college or high school. You know what your passions are. You know, if it's, if you're passionate about it, you're passionate about it. You know, if it's your interest. So I'm not going to give you a big long pep talk about that. This is high performance. My job is to go a little advanced in the conversation. So just assume that, that should you quit or not, let's just assume you've already asked, am I really passionate about it? Do I give a damn about it? I'm going to assume you give a damn about it. Now let's have the complex, difficult, challenging conversation. That's my job as a certified high performance coach. Here we go. When you talk about quitting, here's the first Question I want you to ask, am I quitting to avoid. There's a difference between quitting and avoiding. And it's really important that you get this in your head. I really want you to think about, is there, is there something in your life right now you're thinking about pulling the plug on? You're thinking about quitting it? Is it a marketing campaign? Is it that new idea, that new book? Is it that new business venture? Is it that new relationship you started? Is there something you're thinking about quitting now when you start thinking about quitting it? Let me ask you this question. Is the reason you're thinking about quitting it because it's easier to avoid the difficulty by quitting? Is the reason you're quitting because it's easier to avoid the difficulty? You know, a lot of people quit on a relationship because it's just easier. You get tired of the fights and the arguments, the negotiations, the conversations, and you go, I just don't want to do it. So avoiding the conflict and quitting the relationship is easier than engaging with the hardship. And so what I tell people when they say, brendan, I'm thinking about quitting, this, my first question to them as a high performance coach is usually, is it just because you want to avoid hardship? Are you wanting to quit because it's gotten too hard or you're avoiding something you just don't want to do? You know, you're avoiding it because I don't enjoy that piece of it. So think about the totality of what you're doing. Maybe there's, let's say, 10 moving parts. Okay, Always think about this. I always think about almost everything I do. There's usually five to 10 moving parts. AM I quitting because one of those moving parts is just too difficult to deal with? Let me give you an example. Do you know the number one reason people quit jobs? The number one reason? It's usually because one person. Most people quit jobs not because of compensation, not because of ability to grow in that role. Most people quit jobs worldwide, reported by some of the largest consulting companies in the world because of, number one, lack of appreciation. And when they say, well, who doesn't appreciate you? They usually say, my first line manager. So their immediate supervisor. Okay, number two, what else? Reason? Because one conflict with one person, there's some bastard in the office they can't deal with like one person. But often I just work with this person, works at Google, had this great conversation and he said, brendan, I'm thinking about leaving Google. And I'm like, wow. Leaving Google, I said, you're not going to get paid higher somewhere else. What's the reason you're leaving? And he said, well, there's this one person. And I said, okay, let's break this down. Tell me about this one person. And they were having lots of difficulties, and it's been literally years, two, three years. They just can't stand this person. But I said, let's take your career and bust it down to 10 moving parts. So we drew out a bunch of boxes on a page, and I said, write down when you think about your career, here, fill in these boxes for me. If you're ever coaching somebody, make it visual. Like, make them draw stuff. Like, if you ever work with me personally, I'm going to make you draw something pretty quick or I'm going to draw something for you pretty quick. Make it visual. So I would draw out 10 little boxes and I said, fill in. When you think about your career, the totality of your career, what's the big moving pieces? What do you like? What do you not like? And he wrote in each of these boxes what he liked. And when he thought about his career, one of those boxes was inevitably filled with somebody they did not like. I said, okay, so 10 boxes. And the person was pretty happy with all nine boxes. But this one box, one bad person at work, he was going to quit a career. And so I had to have the difficult conversation, which is saying, you're avoiding this one box. You're going to pull the plug on the whole thing because one box is bad. That to me is the lack of, I would say, intention and resilience, but also just skill in dealing with life, Right? If you're going to quit on your spouse because one fight when you had 10, one bad year, when you had 10 good years, I don't know how I feel about that. You know, I want to tell you, as a coach, maybe, is it something worth examining? Is it something to think about? Now? I don't know what happened in that year. Maybe it was really an awful year, but let's just consider it same thing for businesses. I know people when they first start in this business, my business as an example, when they start being a thought leader, right. They're so passionate and they're so stoked for like 10 months, you know, awesome. 10 months, and then they just have one month filled of complete doubt. I don't know if this is working or they had one month. They do their first launch. No money doesn't play out. But they were so passionate and creating and learning for 10 months. They have one bad month. They put, well, this isn't for me. And they pull the plug. And I just go, I think what might be happening there is you're avoiding the challenging emotions of life. You're letting that one box globalize into everything else. And so I'd like you to think about that next time you want to quit on something. Just going, am I letting one box ruin the whole puzzle? Am I letting one person steal away my joy everywhere else? Because I see that all the time. You know, someone who just kind of stops engaging at work because one or two bad people, when there's 10 other great people there, they globalize one person to mean the career, globalize one person to mean Google, globalize one fight to mean marriage. And that globalization immediately destroys their ability to engage fruitfully. And so what I want to think about is going, okay, is there something. I feel like quitting, but am I really just avoiding the hardship or the tough conversation? If you guys been with me for a while, you've heard me reference several times some books that I think are important for people to read. Two of them I might recommend in this position. Let me give you three recommendations right off the bat. One book is called the Tools. T o o l s written by a psychotherapist about kind of analyzing how you think about and approach the world. Okay. Another one is called Mindset. That's by Carol Dweck. I'm sure you've all read that by now. I hope you have Mindset. But another two I think will really help you in this regard. One is called Difficult Conversations. And another one on an original spin of the title is called Crucial Conversations. Okay. Difficult Conversations and Crucial Conversations must reads. Because almost every time I hear someone wanting to quit, it's because of how they either psychologically dealt with other people or how they avoided dealing with other people. They don't know what to say. They don't know what to do. And I think it's important to understand most quitting can usually be turned back to. There's a social element to the quit. They didn't get the validation or the appreciation from the manager, so they quit. That's the number one reason people quit worldwide. They lack of appreciation. Right. That's a social thing. It's not that they didn't feel competent in their job. That's not why they quit. It's not. They didn't feel like they enjoyed what they're doing. That's not why they quit. They quit because of the social element. Somebody Wasn't giving them the validation, recognition, appreciation that they desperately desired. And I say in that regard, that's a pretty weak reason to quit something. I don't want you to quit something that you are passionate about or good at or could experience progress or breakthrough just because somebody around you is difficult to deal with. Because you know what, wherever you're going to go in your lifetime, somebody around you is going to be difficult to deal with. The way a person becomes a quitter is they continually, always, all of their life, avoid difficult people. That's why they're always quitting. I quit this project cause there's somebody who doesn't like me. I quit this project because they didn't give to me. I quit this project because she's a you know what, and he's a who know who. And all of a sudden they're a quitter. They wake up as a day. They're a quitter because they're avoiding the difficult conversations and people of life. Now, I know that might not be the most motivating thing in the world, but here I give you all that. Because I also say if you're passionate about something, you care about it. Don't let the social realm make you quit. Don't make other people's validation or approval make you quit. Especially my career. If I took other people's input as a reason to begin or quit at the beginning of my career, I would have never began. And if I did, I would have quit. Cause everyone thought I was crazy. Or everyone said, why are you doing that? Or everyone said, why don't you get a job? Or everyone said, I don't like your face. Whatever it was. I didn't have an extraordinary amount of value validation at the very beginning of my career. You know, it just wasn't there. So I think it's really important to remind I didn't quit because I didn't worry about social validation, social approval. And I also didn't worry about social difficulty. Because a lot of the people I dealt with at the beginning, man, they were brutal. I was trying to create a partnership and they'd minimize me, you know, or they dress me down. Who do you think you are? I mean, I had a lot of difficult people when I began my career, but it didn't bother me because I knew how to deal with them. So I hope you'll check out those books and you'll keep this in mind. Am I quitting? Because really I'm just avoiding the hardship or the difficulty. I think that's really important. This Other element I want to talk about is grind right now. I was teasing with my team yesterday about how all the social media is alight with grind, grind, grind, hustle, hustle, hustle. And I'm like, okay, but if you guys listen to my podcast, I think you know that I'm pretty passionate about. You can engage life from a very positive energy. It's why you hear from my seminars all the time. They say, bring the joy. Don't wait for joy to land. Bring it to what you're doing. And it's not always easy because you're tired and it could feel like a grind. I'm like, okay, how am I going to engage in each of these ways? How can I have enthusiasm for my day? Many of you guys know my morning conversation in the shower every morning. I never fail. I ask three questions in the morning, in the shower, every time. Number one, what can I be enthusiastic and energized about today? And sometimes it's like I have to make myself. I have to think about, okay, that meeting bring good energy in there. Okay. Oh, God, I gotta have this meeting and this difficult conversation over here. How can I approach that? I can approach it from a play where I can give them something, I can add some value, I can make them better, I can help inspire, if anything, right? I ask my question, what I'm going to deal with today that might throw me off, and how can my highest self meet that? It's probably the most important intentional question of my life. Every think about that, every morning I do that. This is my. I think for that specific question, this is my 11th or 12th year on that second question. How can I think of something what today might throw me off? And how can my highest self meet that? And trust me, every day I can think about, I gotta have that difficult conversation. I'm gonna do, you know, three live webcasts. I mean, there's a lot going on today. Then I got this huge, you know, I got a million emails to reply to today. But I go, okay, how might that throw me off? And you know what? Half the time it's not. It's gonna throw me off because I can't do it. I don't have the skill set. I'm gonna fail. You know what it is half the time, what's going to throw me off? I realize, listen to this half. I really want you to hear this. High performers, please, if you're here, this one insight, I promise can change your life forever. It's worth the whole year, as marketers would say. This One second answer. Listen. Half of the time that I say what might throw me off today and how can my highest self meet it? Half the time I realize what might throw me off is my own attitude, my own attitude toward the thing I have to do that day. Oh, I gotta run errands. See, for me, I know anytime when I'm in the shower thinking about the day, I gotta run a bunch of errands immediately. Like, ugh, I hate running errands. I just. It's a thing. I just, ah, I just. I know. And it's still to this. I just. I've always hated running errands. I'm like, geez, if I got to go to like, five different stores to do something, that's misery to me. I just. I know some of you like shopping and everything else like that to me, but, oh, my, five different places in one day, that's my total misery. I can't handle that. But that's an attitude thing, has nothing to do with the stores. It's an attitude thing. Third question I ask is, who could I surprise today or show some kind of appreciation to that makes their day? So I ask that every day. And I would say that by asking those questions, it's taken the day, which is always full for me. I'm pretty full days from being the grind. I never feel like I'm halfway through the day going, ah, I'm grinding. Like, I can't think of the last. Maybe in my 20s. And I think that's cool in your 20s. But if you're in your 30s and your 40s and you still feel like it's the grind, you haven't found what you're passionate about. If you're in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s and you still feel like the middle of the day has to grind, I'm grinding. I'm like, you haven't learned. I think life philosophy you learn. You might be older in years, but you're young in life philosophy. You haven't taken a step back and thought, what do I want life to be about? What do I want life to feel like? How do I want to approach my days? Because they're limited. So if that sounds a little bit, you know, condescending, I apologize. But I tell people all the time, I hope you read some more philosophy. I hope you read more of what people said the good life would be about. You know, do a little bit of homework of, you know, reading some great psychologists to see, like, what is it? What is the good life? Listen to a Bunch of charged life episodes. You'll find that it doesn't have to feel like a grind even if your day is fully scheduled. Because ultimately, Viktor Frankl taught us the last of the human freedoms. That is the ability to choose one's own attitude. They can take away everything for you, but they can also put everything on your plate. And if they put everything on your plate, you choose, how will I engage with what is on my plate? And if you choose that you're more intentional with your energy, then I promise you won't quit as much. Because the other reason people quit is because of the grind. I look at people's schedules sometimes who quit something and say, it just got too much. And I look at their schedule and, like, that was too much. I said, that's like an 8 to 5 job. It didn't look too bad. You know, 8 to 5 jobs, not that hard. But they'd say, well, I just. It got too much for me. I go, it didn't get too much for you. You lacked intention. You are bigger than your problems. You are bigger than the difficulties of life. There is nothing I can throw at you that you couldn't handle if you chose to handle it. Does it make sense? We can all choose calm amid the storm. It's just that most people don't. So they get swept up and they get pulled away and they start freaking out because they didn't choose how to go into it. And that's the most important thing I can tell you. Most people aren't quitting because of failure or competency. They're quitting because of social situation and a sense that they're grinding without the payoff. But what if the journey's the payoff? What if the moment is the payoff? What if you engage in your passion is the payoff? What if the payoff is the simple daily challenge you gave yourself to say, you know what? I'm going to approach this day and I'm going to do a great job today with my attitude and my energy. That's why I started in my 20s. I think Dale Carnegie and Napoleon Hill. I think Zig Ziglar. I thank Wayne Dyer. Oh, my goodness. I think Paulo Coelho. Hey, Paulo. I think about the people who really inspired me to check my attitude. Viktor Frankl, especially my dad, who had just an amazing attitude. You know my dad, many of you guys know he ran the DMV in our hometown when I was in high school. And DMV is the Department of Motor Vehicles. So I know we have some international folks Here. But that means he's the guy who gave your driver's license. So he ran the office. And I would go in. You remember they have those things where you bring your son or bring your kids to work. Well, we'd have to bring the kids to work day. And I would go in and I'd watch my dad work. And I'd see there are very few happy people at the dmv, you know, so I'd see these people, they'd go up and they'd fill out a paper. Then they get there and they forgot their Social Security card. And they'd scream at my dad like it was his fault. Or somebody came in and he had to let him know, like, you know, you ran over three curbs today and you forgot to stop at a stoplight. I can't give you a driver's license. And they'd spit at him. Like, I would see this, their problem, their difficulty. They'd take it out of my dad. And yet he was so affable about it. Like, he would try to calm the situation down, try. Try to make them laugh, try to be present for them, which is super hard when someone's being a jerk to you. And I know you know this, but he'd been through three tours in Vietnam. Some person across the counter isn't gonna throw my dad off. He got shot up in the gut. He's a tough guy, but think about that. He could also have reached across and snapped their neck. He's a pretty tough guy. He didn't do that because he chose. How am I going to deal with these people? Cause inevitably, if that's your job in dealing with people, there's going to be a lot of asses. There's going to be a lot of people who are going to throw you off. The question is, will you let them? There's going to be a lot of days, days, weeks and months that can throw you off. Are you going to let it? And ultimately, that's the great life choice and philosophy, I believe, that helps people stay the path when they're doing something that they're passionate about. They can choose to meet the day and not make it the grind. Even if they have the equal number of difficult hours as other people, even if they deal with the same number of difficult people, I think that's what's really important. And this last piece is, well, should I just, like, chill out? Like, I feel like quitting because I'm not getting the social recognition, rewards, validation. I feel like it's a grind. So I Want to quit too? Or I don't like what I'm doing. Should I just chill out? Should I take a couple months off? People ask me all the time, do you think I should take a couple months off? And my answer always is, if you have to ask, should I take a couple months off? The answer is yes, that's pretty much it. If you can. No, that's pretty much it. I don't think there's a lot of qualifications. If you have been quitting and grinding your way through life in some way or another and you haven't given yourself a break, the only perspective you're going to get is to take some time off. Now, maybe it's not a couple months. Maybe for you it's a meditation retreat for three days. Maybe for you it's going to that favorite place up in the woods where you can just tune out. No books, no social media, just like, where am I in my life right now? I think that's really important for people. People have forgotten how to chill. And I mean that in a data driven way. Most Americans are not claiming their full vacation that are allowed through their job each year. Not like 50% of people, we're talking like 70% now. They're not even taking their vacation time. And so they feel like everything's a grind. Like, well, it is becoming a grind if you never take some time. It's so important for people to. People see how much I work and you see all my content and all my videos and everything else that we've always been doing right. But what people don't, I think understand about my career is how much chill time I take. And I take it because I know I can't perform at optimal levels without recuperation, rejuvenation, renewal, whatever you want to call it, chill time. If you don't give yourself that, you're in trouble. But here's the thing, you can't think you're going to do it. You need to schedule it in. I know. It's so hard. One of the things I'm always talking about High Performance Academy is the importance of scheduling your time. And I think right now so many people, they're not scheduling their time. They think they are, but here's what happens. They have a 30 minute break during the day. It's not even. They just, it wasn't a scheduled break. They just kind of like. And they did this and they lost 30 minutes. This was not scheduled. You know, my social media time is scheduled. There's no way randomly I pick up this throughout the day. You know why? Because this is kryptonite. That's what this is. This is your kryptonite, or this is your tool for achievement. For me, everything's scheduled in this thing. I won't dare look at this thing most of the day. Because you know what? When you start allowing the little piranha of distraction to eat at you, you don't realize it, but in your next activity, you're not as good. And what they did in empirical ways to prove this, they took control groups and they took a control group. They took two separate groups to do the same cognitive tasks. Okay? They did a physical task and they did a cognitive scoring test, like a competency test or smart test. And so what they did is they asked them to. Basically, one group would fiddle around on social media, they gave them mobile phones, they had some games, they had some Twitter and some other things on their Instagram. Then another control group did nothing before an activity. And another group sat and thought, how can I do my best on this upcoming activity? That was it. Which one performed better? The one that thought, how can I do my best on this upcoming activity? You could just sit there like a bump on a log, or you can enter with intention. But the worst performing group every single time is the one that just allowed the piranha to eat at their focal ability. Right? They lost focal power going the next activity. So you really have to be aware of that because it's just. It's very dangerous. This is preventing people from not only chilling out, because you know what? If you sit back and you look at this, it is not chilling you out. There is no recovery coming from this. Even if you think it is. There is zero recovery ability for you engaging in your phone. There's no recovery there. You just should know this is not a recovery stick. Okay? There's nothing. This is never going to be recovery. There is no way this will ever be recovery. Are you catch me ever. This will never be recovery tool. This can't. This needs to go away. You want recovery tool, empirically proven, go for a walk. That's going to be way better than this thing. You want a recovery tool. The number one most proven recovery tool in the history of the world. You guessed it. Great sleep. And number two, meditation. That's it. That's what you got. So don't rely on this to help you chill out. And also, Netflix doesn't help you chill out either. Oh, God, I said it out loud. I'm sorry, it's not helping you. Every psychological study done on television has always shown the same thing. Watching television engages a low level of stress in your body, okay? It doesn't help you lower your cortisol watching people do drugs and kill each other and put them in trunks. You can choose to quit because you're not getting the validation. You can choose to quit because it feels like a grind, and you can choose to quit because it's always on. Or you can say, you know what? I'm going to find my own pleasures in this. I'm going to approach this in a way where I engage and I enjoy it. And I'm going to give myself more recovery and rejuvenation time. I just got back from a trip that my wife and I planned six, seven months ago because we just put it on the calendar. We planned our whole year of travel out in advance for our vacations. And nothing can move those right? Those are law. Those don't change. Because I know it's so important for me to be able to serve you guys. Okay? So I'm going to tell you this whole story that I thought was funny as hell. And that was. So I just came back from this five star spectacular resort. So we go there, though, but everything's like, it's just, just being in the place, you're like, wow, I'm so lucky to be here because it's like Rainforest beach kind of thing. And the spa's world class. I'm in the spa, I come out from, I. I just got a massage. I come out and there's like this men's waiting room. You know, they got all their little drinks and they got everything. So I'm in this men's waiting room and I'm just, I'm chilling, I'm just zenned out, man. I'm so happy. Everything's just so great. I feel so blessed to have this opportunity to be there. I got a little green tea going next. To me, I mean, just, life is good. And this guy comes in and he walks in, he sits down, and right behind him, like, almost on beat, comes this attendant. And the attendant has his lunch. Like, the guy just got out of massage, sits down and this attendant sits un. You know, covers this amazing meal. And I look over and there's four or five plates on the thing. I'm like, oh, I never thought of doing that. Like, get out of the massage and have the food, like right there. This is crazy. You're still in your robe. Like, yeah, man, that guy's smart. Why didn't I think of that? And instead, literally, the Attendant uncovers the diet. And the guy goes, where's my ceviche? And I'm sitting there and I'm like. And he goes, where's my ceviche? And the attendant is taken aback. Cause you don't really scream at people in a spa, I think. I think it's, like, against the rules. I think it's number one. Don't scream here, jerk. Anyway, where's our ceviche? And he says it three times. Like, the first time, the guy's like, whoa. And he looks up and. Because the attendant didn't answer because he was kind of like, you know, like, surprised, he goes, where's my ceviche? And I kind of look over, and he looked at me, and he looked at me like, can you believe this effort didn't bring me some ceviche? And he says to me, where's my ceviche? And I'm like, I ain't got your fucking ceviche, man. And the guy was so jacked up and upset, and I just couldn't wait to get out of there and tell this story to people, because I'm like, it's not like he's starving. He's got three or four plates of food. We're in a spa where you're sp. He just got a massage. And I thought, you know what? This guy. I gotta make this a seminar story. This. This guy with ceviche problem. But the thing is, I think what's happening for people is they're putting in the number one people skill has always been patience. It will always be patience. Because in every argument you got in with somebody, I bet this was the problem. I bet every conflict you ever had your entire life with another person, somewhere along the line, this got the better of you. Maybe you should have held your tongue, right? If you just listened, if you let them say three more sentences, then you spoke, you would have understood what they really meant, right? If you just waited to understand the situation before you try to go and do something, right? If you're trying to develop somebody and you're constantly telling them all the answers without answering the questions, if you expect somebody to get something faster than it's humanly possible. It's just that people are so impatient and it hurts them all the time. I mean, look, this guy could have said. I mean, he said, hey, you know what? I also ordered some ceviche. Which, by the way, the funny thing is, my wife had to explain to me what ceviche was. I didn't know what that. You know, usually just Shows up when I eat some of it. I didn't know it was a thing, but I said, he's so mad. What's the ceviche thing? She's laughing at me. Anyway, if he could have just said, you know what, I ordered some ceviche too. I'm gonna start picking away at this. Could you put that order in for me and I'll just wait for it. I'd love to. Maybe you can get it for me. He could have been cool, could have been patient with the attendant. One of the reasons I love this place, because the way the attendant responded to this guy, first he was initially surprised and then he was so like, oh. And he let the guy kind of fume about it and he said, you know what I'm gonna do right now? I'm going to go check on it. Maybe it's there. Maybe I missed it. It could have been there. I didn't pick it up. But let me go make sure I check. If not, I'll get the order in and we'll get it to you as soon as we can. And he was super cool and he walked out and he stayed in his Zen in the spa even though the other dude lost it. I think this is something that might remind you where. Are you being impatient right now? Where? Identify that place and check yourself, my friend. Okay? And I'm going to give you. I'll end this. I know I'm a little over, guys. I'll end with, with the midday habit boost. M W E I you guys ask what I do. This is my midday habit boost. Okay. I do this every day that I'm home working and I'm going to make sure I do this with the new office here because I need to make sure I do this. We do this as a team. We kind of do this. No, we don't. Okay. I think I, yeah, sometimes we got to get better walk. This is by the way, clear evidence. Clear evidence that a 2 o' clock nap will boost your entire evening's ability to focus better concentration and self reported energy. A 2 o' clock nap, Right. So I tell Everybody meditate at 2:00'. Clock. But if you're not a meditator, then you can start with walking. But you'll see when we come back. Anyway, anyway, let me just walk you through. Take a walk. If that, that can be one time around the block, man, I'm not asking it. Walk a half marathon. Like just get outside of the office or the house. Okay. Or the building. Just get outside, walk. Then when you Come back from the walk, sit down, meditate. Do it in that order. I've self experimented with this a million times. Okay. The walk will fatigue the body a little bit, but what the walk does. The walk is like a primer for a better meditation. Okay. Sometimes if you're in your office and you just roll back and you try to meditate, it's hard because your mind is on the task. Your mind is frazzled from all the activity of the inbox of the people talking to you. So walk first. Walk is like, is like ginger at sushi. It's a palate cleanser. Okay. See how fancy I'm getting with these five star resorts? I mean, that was like no Montanan has ever said that on video ever before. Okay, Palate cleanser. Walk, meditate. Then you need to do an energizer. Okay? What I want you to do for the energizer, if you've seen me doing it before, you can do cupping activity, you can do tai chi. You can just bounce and play and take 10 deep breaths. That's all great. But here's what I encourage you to do. If you have to kick ass the rest of the afternoon, like, your focus and your dedication, your power has to be up there. Your energizer. I want you to do one of three movements, okay? And these are advanced movements, so they might not be for everybody, but they'll help you tremendously. And that is, we need to increase your hormonal release of testosterone. And there's three moves that will really help you do that. Number one, air squats. Okay. Standing up, squatting down, like you're sitting in your chair. Stand back up, tap your butt to the chair. Stand back, tap up to the chair. Squatting and skipping are the primarily the highest levels of testosterone hormonal release in the human body. Cause that's moving our glutes and our hips in significant ways. So it's really important that you do that. Okay? So skipping could be another one. If you want to do your walk and skip a little bit, that'd be awesome. If you were in Wall street in a suit, I would love to see it. Good video. Another one. That's really important. Tons of my friends are doing this right now. You've heard Joe Polish talk about he just kind of discovered it. He's like, oh, my God, I can't believe how different I feel. Burpees, find a room in your office. I used to do this at Accenture with another co worker of ours. It was like we were coding all day and I never even knew what a burpee was and I was in a suit and tie. So don't tell me you can't do it. So I'd go into the room, take off my suit, take out my, not my whole suit, be weird, just take off my jacket, take off the tie and we do like 10, 20 burpees, right? So doing some burpees. If you don't know what that means, type in Burpee in YouTube. You'll see about a million videos. Okay, and last one, intention. Everybody, if they want to be a high performer, needs to do a mid afternoon intention reset to sit down and going, am I on track to what I was supposed to be doing today or am I all over the place? And you can't hope that you'll remember to do that. It needs to be scheduled. This is a great tool for doing that. Set your alarm to go off at like 3 o' clock or 2 o' clock depending on when your day is. I know everyone works different hours here, but have it go off and go, are you on track? Okay, that was probably about six years. I had that go off at 2:30 every day for like six years. Are you on track? Because you know what, everybody gets derailed during the day, Everybody. And I don't think everyone gets derailed during the day like once a week. I think most people are derailed during the day, every day. Especially because they get so inclined to social media now, right? And all of a sudden you watch one YouTube and you're down five other YouTubes, right? So you gotta make sure that it's very important that you have some kind of intention reset. The reason I do this all in one spot. This by the way, doesn't have to take long. Walk around the block, meditate for 5 minutes, 1 minute energizer, 30 seconds of intention, right? This is 5, 10, 15 minutes. But it's in the middle of the day and it's my rejuvenation. High performers really need it. Last year I worked with a, the year before I worked with a couple guys on a sports team. High, high level guys, incredibly talented. And I noticed when I was watching their game at. Throughout the day or throughout the game, they never close their eyes. I said you need to somewhere throughout. About halfway through that guy, I'd like you to hit the sideline and when you do sit there, close your eyes and just reset. I don't care what you say to yourself, I don't care what you think, just rest your eyes. These people happen to be participating in Arenas where it's super bright, it's super loud, it's super crazy. Now you'll see this is going further and further into sports. Some guys are going to the sidelines now and they're putting on headsets. Those headsets are not tied into coaches headsets. Those are noise cancelers. They're literally going. You'll see it much more if you watch the sidelines of games. Now they're in the game but they're going inside and they're just resetting. Noise canceling headsets. Saying something themselves. Some self talk then right about two minutes before maybe they got to get back on. They'll reengage, they'll stand up, they'll shake it out, they'll re engage the body, but they're just giving their mind a break from all the insanity. Even at the highest levels. If they have to do it and they're pros, you have to do it at your level too. I hope you found this session particularly helpful for you at this time of year. It's time for a reset. You just had thoughts about how to do that. I hope it serves you for the rest of the year. I look forward to seeing you next month and I look forward to seeing you next time. Until then, go out there every single day of your life. Remember, high performance is a choice. And as always, live fully, love openly and go make a difference today.