How to Create Enduring Happiness

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Hey, my friends, it's Brandon Burchard and welcome to a special episode of the Brendon show. Hey, I'm Brendon Burchard and I'm honored to be your high performance coach today. With this episode, I've spent the last 20 years studying human behavior change and writing, coaching and training literally at the top levels on the topics of motivation, focus, productivity, confidence and more. My goal, inspired by my own personal journey, is to help you and my audience live love and matter, which means to feel more vibrant, more connected and and more fulfilled in every area of your life. That's what we're doing today. If you liked today's episode, grab a screenshot and share it on Instagram. Just tag me Enonbruchard so I can see you and give you a shout out or a hello. And if you want to go to another level of personal development in your life this month, be sure to join me live every month in my coaching program. Just visit HPXCoaching to get signed up. I teach a brand new personal development session every single month. Meaning it's like a personal development seminar for you. Live every single month on the first of the month and then after I teach that for about 75 minutes, then we do live breakouts where you get to meet new people, network with people, set your monthly goals and establish real accountability for your growth. Listen, you know that expert guidance and real consistency and an inspiring community is critical to your growth. So join me this month on the 1st. Just go to hpxcoaching.com that's hpxcoaching.com it's time to level up, my friend. It's time to take your year back. It's time to find that focus and that confidence and that vibrancy and that vibe again. Go to hpxcoaching.com and and let me be your coach into fuller levels of high performance in every area of your life. Now, without further ado, let's jump in to today's episode.

This is going to be a conversation about overall life happiness. Not just like in the moment, you know, happiness. Because in the moment of happiness, I mean we can all kind of get that bottle of wine, bag of chips. Maybe it's just me, but I think finding pleasure or joy or in the moment happiness we can get there. We'll talk about that a little bit. But I want to talk about the big picture. How do we know what will give you enduring happiness? Happiness that you'll self report throughout your lifespan that yeah, I have a happy life. It's different than sometimes just in the moment happiness. It has to last longer. And so what psychologists have done is basically broken it up and said, you know, people who are happy over the long term, they tend to look at their lives in very specific ways. And here's how they tend to do it. They tend to break up their life. They look at their past, they're happy with their past, they're happy with their present, and they're happy with where they're going. So they kind of break it up into time zones, right? Past, present, and future. And here's what we found in each of those areas. If you look at your past in this specific way, you'll be more happy. If you look at your present in the specific way, you'll be happier. And if you look at your future in this specific way, you'll be happier over the long term. So let's start with your past. Okay? Most people who are unhappy over the.

Quality of their life over the long.

Term, it's because something in the past, they're really hung up on it. They consistently battle it, blame it, are angry about it, are bitter against it. And those who are happy, they don't have that negative emotional range about their entire past. It's not to say that there might not be some things in the past that you can't be unhappy about or some things that happened that you were upset about because you know what crap happened to all of us. But those who make it out and have a joyful life, here's what they tend to do when they look to the past. The first thing they tend to do is accepted. They're like, the past is the past. It did pass, and here we are today. They don't make everything okay. They don't try to validate it. They don't try to say, well, that was supposed to happen.

They just go, I got it.

The past happened. I have to accept what happened because I can't change it now. I can change how I perceive it, but things happened. I'm going to accept that the past happened for some type of reason, or if anything, maybe I don't ascribe a higher reason to it, but I'm going to say, in general, I'm good with the past. It happened. Today's a new day. And they accept the reality that that time period, that situation, that person, that thing that they didn't like, it's not here anymore. So they can't keep living there. They have to accept that today is today. All of that is, is gone today. They can choose a different life, as we'll talk about. So they accept the past. But here's the thing. They go beyond just acceptance. And this is really important because I think people forget this all the time. It's not just about, like accepting the past. Okay, that's fine. No, happy people, they generate memories of fondness on a continual basis. They relive the past. Not the negative things, but the positive memories. They think about it, honey, you remember that one vacation with we took? And they talk about it today, hey.

Do you remember when you were a.

Kid and that funny thing happened?

And they relive the positive.

They have. Happy people have a sense of nostalgia about the positive things of the past. And they remember that and their connection to that is more than towards the negative things. And so here's a question to see if you're happy with your family, with your friends, those around you. Are you often reliving positive memories? They tell positive nostalgic stories about the past without apology. They're not living there. They're not trying to go back and.

Relive the glory days.

They're just honoring and appreciating that those days even happened for them. They have a deep sense of fondness and yes, gratitude to the beautiful moments and memories and people and, and experiences they got to have. And so I know that might sound almost too easy to say because, you know, maybe in the past you went through some traumatic stuff, some very difficult moments happened, but by and large, if you can finally get to a point where today you go, okay, I don't have to be cool with everything that happened, but I accept the past. I'm cool.

It's over.

I am cool today. And I like these little moments. And I'm going to choose to focus and remember those and bring them up to people, talk about those things, then I'll feel better about the past. And if you feel better about the past, you have a more solid foundation and a much easier time finding happiness Today. Today. If you want to feel happy today, there's two things we know without question will get you to higher levels of happiness. Number one, connection. Connection, that is you deciding to connect to the moment. That means being present and connecting to other people. You know, they've done a lot of those end of life studies to see what makes people happy. And you see over and over and over again it's the quality of their relationships. And so if you want to be happy today, put more emotional connection into your relationships. And I say that not philosophically, I mean, like, have that Intention. Like, I'm going to put good energy into this relationship today. I'm going to put good energy into my kid today. Even if they were a jerk yesterday, I accept it. Kind of cute today. I'm going to just put good energy, good vibes into this relationship today because if I do that, I'll feel better. If you're doing work and you don't even like the work, but at least you'll engage with it. You'll connect to the work. Like, you'll force yourself to be there, be present, be in it. You'll feel happier.

Hey, it's Brendon and I want to jump in the middle of this episode here real quick and tell you about something I'm really excited about and something that answers a question that many of you have for me all the time, which is, Brendan, where do you get this crazy focus and energy in your life? And the truth is I've developed a supplement line that really helps me do that. And frankly, I needed to. I don't know about you, but sometimes when you're trying to achieve big things, a lot of stress comes along. And as you're trying to achieve bigger things, you need to be on your A game more often. You need to be mentally sharp. You need to be mentally prepared. You need to be mentally energized and productive. And not once in a while, but like every day, you have to be on and sometimes guzzling more coffee isn't going to do it. You have to use what we call nootropics, which are basically supplements that help optimize your brain. And yes, we have a product for exactly that. It's called HPX optimized and it is our most popular product. And you can get it. It's back in stock@HPX wellness.com that's HPX wellness.com you'll find HPX Optimize for your mental focus and energy there. You'll also find my favorite powdered energy drink that we created, this 100% organic and vegan. And you'll find my essentials, which is my daily multi that I take that covers my energy, that covers my longevity, that covers my immunity, that covers my brain and body health that I absolutely love. And you will feel the difference. Go to HPX wellness.com right now. HPX wellness.com.

The second thing today that you can do so easy is increase your appreciation. Almost in every psychological study ever done, those who had more gratitude reported greater happiness. The way that you get gratitude is you appreciate things. So let's just jump Right to that. Start appreciating things better. Appreciate your house today, you know, appreciate.

That maybe you got a car.

Appreciate that you had somebody in the house with you today who loved you. Or appreciate the fact that you have opportunities that all around the world people would just beg for, that billions of people don't have the opportunities that you do. I know we're all in a big rush. I'm guilty sometimes, too, of going through things as fast as I can because I got one thing, I got to go on another thing, another thing. But you know what I found? I'm most unhappy in life when that's what I'm doing. I'm just going on one thing to the next thing, to the next thing, to next thing and the next thing, and not feeling what I'm doing, not really connecting it and not appreciating it. Like right now. I shared with you earlier, as I'm filming this course, I'm writing a book. And there's days when I'm miserable about the book, and those days I'm miserable with the book are those days that I forget to connect with the material. And worse, I forget to appreciate the fact that I have the blessing to get to work on a book. I forget to appreciate how far I've come as a writer. I forget to appreciate the time that my team has set up to protect my ability to write. I forget to appreciate that God has given me a voice and I get to share that. And so I share with you that the most important thing you can do today, like, stop thinking that stuff will give you happiness. Stop thinking that you'll achieve something today that will give you happiness. The only thing that's going to give you happiness today is connection and appreciation. So connect to the moment. Connect to other people by putting positive energy. Remember, bring the joy. And then appreciate the little things, all.

The little goofy things throughout the day.

Appreciate the opportunities that you have. You'll start to feel much happier. I promise you. Those are easy, quick wins in the moment. And then what we know, for people who have the highest ranking of happiness, they look to the future in a unique way. And there's two elements there that they're usually looking towards. One, they're enthusiastic about something in the future. They're not optimistic. Optimistic would mean, you know, I believe stuff in general from today will turn out well. I believe that tomorrow is going to be good. Happy people are enthusiastic about something specific tomorrow or in the future. Very specific. They're enthusiastic about getting to do that project or complete that project. They're enthusiastic about that wedding coming up, they're enthusiastic about that thing going to come out. There's something they look for. It's very specific. It's not a general optimism, though, that also has been shown very, very high in correlation to happiness, one of the highest rankings. Being optimistic, thinking things will turn out well. But really happy people, when they talk about the future, there's something specific they're excited about. So I ask you, what could you be excited about for tomorrow? What's hanging out there that you haven't allowed yourself to believe in and get stirred up about? Because, you know, we're so scared of being disappointed that we destroy our happiness. We say, I don't want to get enthusiastic because it might not go well. And so we cage ourselves in, into an unsatisfying life. If you want to be happy again, you have to open yourself again to the idea that things can be great. You got to open yourself again to that hope, that optimism. You got to open up yourself again to the possibility, yeah, you might be disappointed. But here's the thing I always tell people. What would you rather experience? A life in which you don't do anything and you never look forward to anything because you're scared of disappointment, which, by the way, means you are continually living in disappointment. Or you say, you know what? I look forward that. I think that could happen.

I'm going to go for it.

You do take action, but at least if you do get disappointed, the whole time you are taking action, you are developing competency, knowledge, skill, ability, talent, mastery. So even if you got disappointed, you know what the disappointment came as? It came at the very end as a sudden surprise. I'd rather have disappointment come at the very end as a sudden surprise than every single day of fear and disappointment and living in that terror that I'm going to be disappointed and doing nothing with myself. Don't know about you, but that's how I feel. So first, enthusiasm for a situation. Something specific. It's so important. And then that next part about looking to the future is they have a sense of positive legacy they have made up in their mind, and that's all they've done. They've made it up. Because you and I, we can't read the future. We have no idea. But they've made up in their mind this story about their life having meaning and specifically a legacy. They see, looking into the future, they can see the legacy of their children. They can see the legacy of their business. They can see the legacy of the love that they created. They can see something. They can see that they're going to leave some type of mark or some type of relationship or some type of situation where the world is better because they tried, because they showed up. And maybe you don't know what your legacy is, but you know what? You're never going to suddenly realize it's not just going to happen. You have to make it up. So if you're not happy today, start making up stories about what you can be excited about tomorrow and about what mark you might leave. The difference you might leave even if you don't know exactly what it is. You don't have to have precision about these things. But in general, when you cast your eyes into the future, you go, mm, that's gonna be good.

All right. Hey, my friend, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If you're ready to go to another level, don't forget, go to H.

Let.

Me be your coach. Let me spend the first of each month with you giving you a personal development seminar. Let me help you get unstuck, break through your emotional blocks, find your real.

Clarity, your real passion, your real purpose.

And implement the habits that you know you need to implement. Change your life by getting a coach, getting some expert guidance. Listen, you got as far as you could get. You're here. You've achieved so much in your life. But to go to another level requires another level of mindset, another level of discipline, another level of direction and community and consistency. And that is what my coaching program is all about. So go to hpxcoaching.com and listen, if you're ready to go to a whole other level, I'm hiring. Please go to Brendan.com and forward/ hiring for our open roles. I got a big secret project that we are rolling out and you'll only find information that@brendon.com forward/hiring we've got, I don't know, 10 or 12 open positions there. If you ever wanted to work with me, if you wanted me to be your leader, you wanted me to literally employ you and help you grow in.

Your career and do what we do.

Serving this mission of helping people around the world achieve their dreams faster, helping them improve their lives. We live every day as a team to do that and we are currently hiring. We're building out a new product and we need some people to help us do that. Brendan.com hiring if you don't know how to spell my name, don't even think about it. We're looking for people who are pros. If you're Interested in internship with me, don't go there. We're not hiring interns. If you're interested in starting your career with me, don't go there. We are an a team here. We've got people who are really experienced. So if you're new to personal development or you're new to marketing, you're probably not going to be the person we're looking for. We're looking for people with at least three years of professional experience in a lot of different roles because we take.

This role very seriously.

We get to change lives and millions of them every single day. That's the work. So we're looking for real pros, top of your game, ready to come on to an organization that reaches just as many people in the world as any other personal development influencer or trainer on the planet. And we'd be excited to have you join us in a big new initiative we're rolling out for the beginning of the year. I can't even tell you any more about that. Go to Brennan.com hiring if you'd like to work with us. And if you just want to go to another level and have me as your coach, not your Boss, go to hpxcoaching.com so I can give you a brand new personal development session this month to help you set your goals, get on track, get unstuck and achieve your ultimate difference. Go to hboxcoaching.com for that. Thanks again for listening to the brendon show. You all mean so much to me. I have so much coming out in the next couple months for you here that's going to be unique and special and I know you're going to love it.

So.

So keep your head up. I know it's been a hard year. Please remember, as always, you are stronger than you think and the future holds good things for you.

Sam.