How to Deal with Jealousy (in love or hate)

Welcome to the charged life. This is Brendan Burchard. How do you deal with jealous people? You know, when someone's either jealous of you because of your accomplishments, your achievements, your efforts, or when people are jealous because, you know they don't trust you. They're. You're in a relationship, and you just have this person who's jealous all the time because of their background. And. And they are always worrying you're going to cheat on them or do something awful or somebody at work is jealous of you because you got the promotion. Like, either way, all of that is other people's insecurities being tossed at you, my friend. So how do you deal with that and stay sane and stay on your path, which, by the way, you should do. Let me give you four ideas. First and foremost, realize whenever there's ever any judgment or jealousy in general, check this out. You got one of two options. You either affirm the other person or you ignore it. Okay? Affirm the other person means, you know, if somebody's so worried, like, let's say you're in an intimate relationship and it's your partner, your spouse, your lover, and they're just like, they're always jealous. You gotta affirm them. You'd say, I understand they're jealous, but I love you, honey. Things are gonna be fine. Stop worrying about this. And all you can do is be patient and. And kind and caring and continually loving through their jealousy. They got to figure out their own stuff. And unless you're a therapist or a coach or you're equipped with dealing with that, you know how hard it is to get other people to change. If you need some advice on that, watch some of my other YouTube videos. But you get the idea. It's hard to change people. So all you can do is affirm them, welcome their own insecurities and vulnerabilities, accept them where they're at, be kind and compassionate with them as they're dealing with their insecurities. But on the other side, the other option is to just ignore it. In 99% of the world's jealousy, you should absolutely, completely ignore. When other people say, well, who do you think you are? When other people, you know, say, well, it was easy for you, and other people are jealous because you worked your tail off and you achieved things, and now they're trying to claw you back down to their level. Don't let them do it. Ignore the hate online. Ignore their stupid side comments. Ignore their little, you know, what do you call that? They want to say something to you, but they don't so they hold it back and then they, over here, they take an action against you. You know what I'm talking about. All those things, you need to ignore those people, not let it hook you, not let it bring you down to their level, not ever let you stop being on your path. Which leads to my second piece of advice, and this is really important. Revisit your why. What is it you really want of life and why? You know, I've always found in motivation. If you read my book, the Motivation Manifesto, you know that our main search is to find that power to truly be ourselves and pursue the things that we really care about that matter to us. That is be ourselves fully, seek those things that enliven us and bring our passions alive. So check that out. That's what you got to continue doing. You have to revisit. Why do I want to live my best life? Why do I want to achieve this thing? Because if you're not clear about why you want what you want, then everybody else clawing at you or being jealous or saying native comments or you know, just kind of sideswiping you all the time, they will derail you if you're not clear about your mission, your purpose, your drive, what you really want, your goals. Have that vision and don't let anybody claw you back from that. Number three. This is huge, huge, huge. And people forget this all the time. It's about. I don't know how to say this without sounding bad, but getting better despite them. You know what I mean? Get better. Be even more excellent when people are jealous. Oh, look at her, how easy she's got it. You know what? Excel even more. Oh sure, you can do this because you had your spoon. And they all say this. Get better, you know, get better. Better not to spite them, but despite them. So that you can continually climb on your own path to excellence. Because here's what happens. A lot of people, as someone achieves more and more levels of excellence, maybe they were jealous at the beginning, but then they start seeing it and they start seeing that there's art to what you're doing, that there's science to what you're doing, that there's hard work and effort. And the longer you're at it and the more you're at it. Because you know what people are usually jealous of short term success. But long term success, most people they admire, they go, wow, she really worked for it. Wow, I've seen her year after year after year and it's paying off for her. Good for her. Good for him. So in other words, keep at it, get better, develop your level of excellence. And you know what? The more momentum you get in life, the more believers you tend to get as well. And this last piece of advice, number four, it's so straightforward, I think it will really serve you. Always remember to serve others on your way up. You know, be humble and grateful for what you have, but don't forget to also be social with that. A lot of jealousy or the negativity that comes at us is because people think that we're narcissistic, we're in it for ourselves, that we don't care about anybody else, or they're jealous. And the real insecurities that we'll leave them, that they'll get left behind. So they say these, you know, weird comments, but what they're really saying is, please don't leave. What they're really saying is, you know, don't become somebody who's all about the success or the money or the fame or the wealth or the accolades or the statues, whatever it is, right? They want to know that you're still human. And the best way to demonstrate that, and the most needed thing you need to do as you continue to succeed is reach out and help those others who are on the same path of life, maybe just a few yards behind you. Help lift them up. You know, as Booker T. Washington taught us, there's two ways to exert strength. One is pushing down and the other is pulling up. So pull some people up. Help people. Offer guiding hand. Give, donate, serve, volunteer, still be out among people, serving and helping. Don't become one of those, you know, people who becomes lost in the Hollywood Hills all by yourself, just thinking about your own self, staring at your belly button all day, thinking how self important you are. Be that person who's still out there, helping, guiding, serving, supporting, championing other people. Because you know what? You can always hate people, but it's hard to hate somebody who's a champion of others. So you be the champion of others. And soon those negative voices, those jealous people, they'll deal with their own stuff. And if they don't, ignore them, if they don't keep getting better, if they don't remember your dream, if they don't and they just need your love, then be there for them. But realize you must stay on your path regardless of jealousy. If you do that, not only will you turn some of those negative voices around, but most importantly, continue living what we call the charged life. Hey, my friend, it's Brendan. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Do me two favors my number one, subscribe to this channel so that you continue to get updates every time I release new training for you. And number two, if you would like to get ahead a little faster in life, what I'd like to do is give you my 10 steps to achieving anything 10 times faster. So if you have a big goal, a big dream, a big mission in life and you just like to achieve it faster, what would you need to do? You know, this is exactly what I keep next to my computer or next to my bed. And every time I have a big dream, a big goal, I open it up and I kind of use this as my checklist to get ahead faster. Because you and I both know if you're going to be more effective or more productive or you are going to achieve your goals and your dreams faster, you're going to have to switch your perspective a little bit on achievement itself. You have to adopt new thinking patterns and habits. You're going to gonna have to have new daily rituals and habits and your entire approach to learning and skill development must be better. So in order to help you do that, go to brendon.com 10x that's Brendon B R E N D O n.com 10x and you can download this guide for free. Just tell me your name and email. I'm happy to email email that to you for free. The same guide I use to achieve any goal or dream faster. Thanks for tuning in. Until I see you next time. Go out there every single day of your life. Live fully, love openly and make your difference today.