How to Embrace Your Passions

You don't just sit around, contemplate, what am I passionate about? And come up with something. You need to experience the menu of the world a little bit and go, oh, I like this. Just like, I never knew. I like sushi. I never sat in a room one day in Montana and go, I like sushi. No, I had to go experience culinary from all over the place. And I went to a sushi place. I'm like, I'm a guy that likes sushi. And now if you hang out with me, I'm like, let's go. I'm passionate about sushi. I never thought in a room I'd be passionate about sushi. One day I had it and became passionate about it. You find your passions by living an active life. Here's my question to people all the time. And it stuns them. I go, how often does your passion show up in a group setting every week? How often does your passion show up in a group setting every week? Well, if it's not, that explains why the bonds of the groups that you're around aren't that deep yet. You have to both inject your passion into conversations so people actually know what you think about, what you're interested in, what you're deeply thoughtful about. Like all of your friends. And I want you to write this down. All of my friends should know my passions. All of them. Otherwise, they're strangers. All your friends. I'm a person. Like, if you know me, you're gonna know my passions real fast. And people say, yeah, but I can't tell my family this. They think that. Or I can't tell her that they think that. I'm like, what are we, in high school? Are you really holding back your passions based on what someone else will think? That's okay. In high school, once you hit 18, that's no longer allowed. Now that's just called sabotaging yourself for no reason whatsoever other than your internal fears of embarrassment, which, by the way, shouldn't last that long after 18 years old. Not when you're doing the personal development work. Like, get over that. It's okay. Everyone should know. And if they have judgment to it, guess what? They also judged your clothes today. They also judged your hair today. They judged your website. Who cares? Why is everyone so scared about judgment? The less you are worried about judgment, the greater friends you have when you realize, if. Because you know what? I want people. I want people to reject me because if I'm not in their tribe or I'm not their guy, great. I don't Go spend a bunch of time trying to build relationship with somebody who's like that. So don't fear the judgment and don't keep pressing down, suppressing or quieting your passions to try to fit in, to try to be liked. Share what you love, Share your passions. And if you're someone who's like, but I don't have any passions, I don't have any friends, it's like, okay, well, your job is to go have adventures in the world and put yourself in new novel situations to discern what you like. I'm sure many of you guys, you get the questions too from, you know, younger kids in their, you know, teens or in their twenties who ask you, you know, but I don't know what my passions are. And what do you always say? Go do stuff like passions and interests emerge out of actions, not contemplations. So you don't just sit around and contemplate, what am I passionate about? And come up with something. You need to experience the menu of the world a little bit and go, oh, I like this. Just like, I never knew I like sushi. I never sat in a room one day in Montana and go, I like sushi. No, I had to go experience culinary from all over the place and I went to a sushi place. I'm like, I'm a guy that likes sushi. And now if you hang out with me, I'm like, let's go. I'm passionate about sushi. I never thought in a room I'd be passionate about sushi. One day I had it and became passionate about it. You find your passions by living an active life. When you don't have passions, we just got to get more menu in front of you. This is why you always growing your network and your relationships to discern, like a lot of people hope their purpose just lands on them. Like, your purpose is found out in the world. Your purpose is found by living and choosing how you want to live and living a purposeful life and more purpose shows up. If you want deep relationships with people, you're going to have to uncover your passions. You're going to have to express those passions and you're going to have to elicit that Their passions, you know, does anyone have a friend who talks on and on and on about something that you aren't passionate about at all? Anyone out there, encourage them, keep listening. Don't we all need friends like that? It's important. It's important for you to elicit other people's passions. And it's okay if there Isn't. I have one friend that is so passionate, I mean insane, like otherworldly passion about video games. Now I haven't played a video game in, I don't know, I don't even know how to use a controllers. Anyone else have that? You ever go to your friend's house and their kids pop out the video game, they hand it to you and you get this controller and it's like a spaceship and you don't even know what it does. That's me. I don't know. I don't know how to play a video game. I'm not interested in video games at all. Like it's not even, I'm not even interested in it. And I have this friend, we will go out and he will tell me about video games for like 90 minutes and I'm so interested because that's his passion. When someone's talking passion, you know what you say. Tell me more. It doesn't have to be your passion. Stop listening for what you want to be and experience and who you are and honor and see the other. Their passions, their ideas, their goals, their concerns. That's how to win friends and influence people. You knew I was coming after the Dale Carnegie, didn't you? You knew I was going to drop it in there. I know. You knew I was going to give me some Dale Carnegie up in here. How to win friends and influence people. Let me summarize the whole book. Be interested in other people. It's like a 300 page book. Five words. Describe it. Be interested in other people. That's how you win friends and influence people. Stop listening through the lens of only your interests and your passions and open up to hearing and encouraging and listening. If you talk to me, if you and I go out, I'm like this. I'm just like, I'm just taking it in. Like, keep bringing it, keep bringing it. Just shovel it all my way. Keep bringing it. And you're like, yeah, but Brendon, people shovel their stuff on me. I'm like, nope. The bad stuff goes right over here. The good stuff goes right in here. It's like, just keep bringing it. Like you, if you want to be a great friend, you elicit, you elicit their passions. And I don't think people talk about their passions enough. And obviously I'm a personal development guy so I have a high opinion about this. Oh my goodness. I think it's so important to be passionate. And to be passionate you have to experience the world to elicit other people's passion, you have to Talk about what they've experienced in the world, learn their stories, listen to what interests them. You have to pull in the conversation, their passion, their interests, their ideas. I know I'm being repetitive here a little bit, but I think we really need a reset on this one, a real reset. Because if you think about your favorite friends to be around at the parties, they're passionate. It doesn't mean they're extroverted. It doesn't mean they're extemporaneous speakers. It just means whatever's going on with them. I have a friend who just. I can't even believe this guy. He's like. He's a friend and a mentor. He's like 58 years old. He. Every time he talks, he just looks at his shoes. And he's not loud. He's not clownish like me. He's just super internal and thoughtful. But everything. He's so passionate about what he's saying. He just likes things. He's just passionate. Barely moves. He's just passionate. You just hear it. His voice isn't bad. He talks like this. Well, you know, I just. Always so important and just like, I want him to pep up a little bit, but he doesn't need to. His passion is there, and I connect with him on that. You all follow passion.