How to Embrace Your Passions
25 Aug 2021 · 18 min
Brendon TEST Burchard and Sam discuss how to express your passions openly and engage authentically in relationships. Burchard promotes his Growth Day platform as a tool for personal development and community support.
Hello my friends. I'm Brendon Burchard, host of the Brendon show and founder of growthday.com and I'm honored to be your high performance coach today. I believe that every day we can be inspired. We can live with intention and purpose. We can bring the joy and honor the struggles of each day to push ourselves to grow, to serve, to be a role model, to lead extraordinary lives. I believe that every day is a great day to grow. That's why I started my company, growthday.com it's an online personal growth platform where you can get me and the world's best personal development teachers live coaching you every week, sharing our wisdom, keeping you motivated and accountable, encouraging you to find the aliveness and the connection and meaning of life that we're all after. If you're not a member yet, please go sign up@growthday.com and join our huge worldwide community of achievers. For less than a dollar a day, you get the world's best teachers live every week. And look, you've probably known for a long time that you needed some expert guidance, an inspired community and life changing tools. So please, your breakthrough awaits you@growthday.com now let's get to today's episode. My friends, please listen closely. Maybe you take some notes so you remember these insights of personal growth and share this episode with three of your friends because we all have to share more positive messages in the world today. So share this with three friends just like you who are committed to their personal growth. And also be sure to tag me or DM me on Instagram. Rendon Burchard, Join our million plus community there on Instagram so I can say hi. Thanks again for listening.
Now let's begin. Here's my question to people all the time. It stuns them. How often does your passion show up in a group setting every week. How often does your passion show up in a group setting every week? Well, if it's not, that explains why the bonds of the groups that you're around aren't that deep yet. You have to both inject your passion into conversations so people actually know what you think about, what you're interested in, what you're deeply thoughtful about. All of your friends. And I want you to write this down.
All of my friends should know my.
Passions, all of them. Otherwise they're strangers. All your friends, I'm a person, like if you know me, you're gonna know my passions real fast. And people say, yeah, but I can't tell my family this. They think that Or I can't tell her that they think that I'm like, what are we in high school? Are you really holding back your passions based on what someone else will think? That's okay. In high school, once you hit 18, that's no longer allowed. Now that's just called sabotaging yourself for no reason whatsoever other than your internal.
Fears of embarrassment, which, by the way.
Shouldn'T last that long after 18 years old. Not when you're doing the personal development work. Like, get over that. It's okay. Everyone should know. And if they have judgment to it, guess what? They also judged your clothes today. They also judged your hair today. They judged your website. Who cares? What? Why is everyone so scared about judgment? The less you are worried about judgment, the greater friends you have. Because you know what? I want people. I want people to reject me because if I'm not in their tribe or I'm not their guy, great. I don't have to spend a bunch of stupid time. I'd rather them. I love being selected out. I love when someone says, you're not my kind of person. I'm like, thank God I don't have to spend time with someone who doesn't want to hang out with me. Everyone's so scared of rejection. I'm like, if someone rejects you, they just gave you the greatest gift time not to have to spend with someone who don't like you. To me, I'm like, rejection's awesome. It means I get a get out of jail card of not having to hang out with that person. That's why I love rejection. I'm like, huh? Rejection is awesome. It gives me the reason that I don't have to hang out with that person. Oh, they judge me unfairly. I don't get mad at them. I'm like, thank God they did that. I don't go spend a bunch of time trying to build relationship with somebody who's like that. So don't fear the judgment and don't keep pressing down, suppressing or quieting your passions to try to fit in, to try to be liked. Share what you love, share your passions. And if you're someone who's like, but I don't have any passions. I don't have any friends. It's like, okay, well, your job is to go have adventures in the world and put yourself in new novel situations to discern what you like. I'm sure many of you guys, you get the questions too, from, you know, younger kids in their, you know, teens or in their twenties who ask you, you know, but I don't know what my passions are. And what do you always say? Go do stuff. Passions and interests emerge out of actions, not contemplations. So you don't just sit around and contemplate, what am I passionate about? And come up with something. You need to experience the menu of the world a little bit and go, oh, I like this. Just like, I never knew I like sushi. I never sat in a room one day in Montana and go, I like sushi. No, I had to go experience culinary from all over the place. And I went to a sushi place. I'm like, I'm a guy that likes sushi. And now if you hang out with me, I'm like, let's go. I'm passionate about sushi. I never thought in a room I'd be passionate about sushi. One day I had it and became passionate about it. You find your passions by living an active life. When you don't have passions, we just got to get more menu in front of you, more novelty, more new situations. What are the best situations? Those that put you in creative expression, put you in contribution, or put you in adventure. Oh, wait, the guy has a framework he's building here. There's a reason for it, in that order. Amazing. Your passions, if you don't have them or you want to activate them or discover them, put yourself in more situations that create novelty, creative expression, contribution or adventure. And all of a sudden you suss it out. You're like, oh, I like that. Also, when you're constantly inviting three friends or inviting three people, you hear all these new ideas and perspectives and you're like, oh, I'm passionate about that. Like, I didn't know that I was so passionate about education until I got around a bunch of people who were talking about education, and I was like, oh, yeah, I like that. I didn't know I liked that until I heard them talking about it. This is why you always growing your network and your relationships to discern, like, a lot of people hope their purpose just lands on them. Like, your purpose is found out in the world. Your purpose is found by living and choosing how you want to live, and living a purposeful life and more purpose shows up. If you want deep relationships with people, you're going to have to uncover your passions, you're going to have to express those passions, and you're going to have to elicit their passions.
Hey, it's Brandon jumping back in here again. Are you looking to go to the next level in your life right now? The next level of joy, abundance, success, then you already know that you need to journal about your lessons learned in your life. You got to track your moods and your habits. You have to learn from the best personal development coaches and teachers in the world.
And you got to stay inspired and.
Accountable so that you can be more focused, disciplined, joyous and keep growing. That's what the Growth Day app is going to help you to do, my friend. It's the world's first all in one personal development app. It has all of the tools you need, all the coaching and the community that you need to level up to progress every week, to track your breakthroughs, and to keep growing in every area of your life consistently over the long term. So go start your transformation right now at Growth Day or just download the Growth Day app on your phone right now. Every day. You can keep improving every day. We are here for you and every day is truly a great day to grow together. So let's make self improvement a way of life. Let's make that self improvement stick. Go to growthday.com right now.
Does anyone have a friend who talks on and on and on about something that you aren't passionate about at all? Anyone out there?
Encourage them.
Keep listening. Don't we all need friends like that? You know, we got into this place where we all thought we had to be homeogenists. Like, oh, I can only hang out with people who have passions like mine. I'm like, yeah, I don't know about that. A lot of my friends have minds very different than me. I don't think they're actually like minded. They're like way different than me. But we have similar values and that's good enough for me. I've got friends who are Democrats and.
Republicans and they're awesome, both of them.
I love them both. I'd buy them sandwiches, they'd buy me burritos. We're happy people. There's pina coladas all around people. It's like, maybe I'm not like minded in that way, but one of the reasons we started thinking we only can hang out with people who are just like us and think like us. That's why we got into a tribalistic culture and from that place. Now we lack the diversity of understanding. Now we lack the novelty that actually makes our relationships pop because we don't have new ideas and we don't have new ideas. We don't have innovation, we don't have innovation, we don't have progress. We don't have those things. Now we tilt towards somebody and leaning into A society where we want somebody to tell us what to do all the time because we just don't like to think outside this one box. It's important. It's important for you to elicit other people's passions. And it's okay if there isn't. I have one friend that is so passionate, I mean insane, like otherworldly passionate about video games. Now, I haven't played a video game in, I don't know, I don't even know how to use a controller. Does anyone else have that? You ever go to your friend's house and their kids pop out the video game, they hand it to you and you get this controller and it's like a spaceship and you don't even know what it does. That's me. I don't know. I don't know how to play a video game. I'm not interested in video games at all. Like, it's not even. I'm not even interested in it. And I have this friend, we will go out and he will tell me about video games for like 90 minutes. And I'm so interested because that's his passion. When someone's talking passion, you know, you say, tell me more. It doesn't have to be your passion. Stop listening for what you want to be and experience and who you are and honor and see the other. Their passions, their ideas, their goals, their concerns. That's how to win friends and influence people. You knew I was coming after the Dale Carnegie, didn't you? You knew I was going to drop it in there. I know you knew I was going to give me some Dale Carnegie up in here. How to Win friends and Influence People. Let me summarize the whole book. Be Interested in Other People. It's like a 300 page book. Five words. Describe it. Be interested in other people. That's how you win friends and influence people. Stop listening through the lens of only your interests and your passions and open up to hearing and encouraging. And listen, if you talk to me, if you and I go out, I'm like this. I'm just like, I'm just taking it in. Like, keep bringing it, Keep bringing it. Just shovel it all my way. Keep bringing it. And you're like, yeah, but Brandon, people shovel their stuff on me. I'm like, nope. The bad stuff goes right over here. The good stuff goes right in here. It's like, just keep bringing it. Like you, if you want to be a great friend, you elicit, you elicit their passions. And I don't think people talk about their passions enough and obviously, I'm a personal development guy, so I have a high opinion about this. Oh, my goodness. I think it's so important to be passionate. And to be passionate, you have to experience the world to elicit other people's passion, you have to talk about what they've experienced in the world, learn their stories, listen to what interests them, capture. I want you to think about this tonight when you have dinner with your family or friends. I want you to be this person. I want you to be asking the questions, pulling in their ideas, pull in their interests, pull in their passions, pull in their goals, pull in their concerns and listen to it. And I know some of you say, but that's so overwhelming. And then people put their stuff on.
Me and they're talking.
I'm like, oh, no. There's a difference between being a sounding.
Board and a friend.
If someone just needs a sounding board and they're just going to throw up on me and give me all their stuff and all their complaints and all their blame, I'm like, oh, in this moment, they need to vent. Got it. This person is venting. This person is not friending. Two different things, right? And you just have to learn to discern the difference. I am very conscious. I'm like, this person's venting. They're not friending. Got it. And I can serve that. I'm like, great. In that moment, I let them vent. It goes right over, right through me, like, energetically. I literally, in my mind, I know this is weird. Again, I'm a geek, but I hear people when they're venting about something. It's not for me to own, it's for them to expunge. And so I know that. So I just goes right over me. I'm hearing it, I'm attentive, I care. But it's like, it's not for me. It's not supposed to land on me. Friendship. Real, authentic disclosure. Real, authentic vulnerability. That's right there. That's the difference between venting and friending. Someone puking at you and someone being in conversation with you. When you understand that intent with people, it helps you deepen the relationship. When you have that intent for others and you're aware when you're just venting or puking on them versus trying to connect. I would encourage, especially my fellow Americans to learn the difference. We've become a society that's super good at venting and outward communication, but not connecting. And connecting is a dialogue. It's disclosure, it's vulnerability, it's trust, it's Openness. It's real dialogue and interest in the other person, not just in your projection. You have to pull in the conversation, their passion, their interest, their ideas. I know I'm being repetitive here a little bit, but I think we really need a reset on this one, a real reset. Because if you think about your favorite friends to be around at the parties, they're passionate. It doesn't mean they're extroverted. It doesn't mean they're extemporaneous speakers. It just means whatever's going on with them. I have a friend who just. I can't even believe this guy. He's like a. He's a friend and a mentor. He's like 58 years old. Every time he talks, he just looks at his shoes and he's not loud. He's not clownish like me. He's just super internal and thoughtful. But everything. He's so passionate about what he's saying. He just likes things. He's just passionate. He barely moves. He's just passionate. Just hear his voice is impatient. He talks like this, you know, I just. So important. And just like, I want him to pep up a little bit, but he doesn't need to. His passion is there and I connect with him on that. You all follow passion.
Okay, my friend. I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Brendon Show. Tell some people about this episode. It's on each of us to spread positivity and empowerment and during these times of chaos and negativity.
Right?
So I'm asking you to be the dealer of hope and personal growth and education in your tribe. So take a screenshot right now and share the screenshot and this link to this episode with three of your friends today. Post it on social media. Use the hashtag growthday. That's Growthday, because that's the name of my company and we're always giving away prizes to our community. If you'd like to. To help me personally, then please rate and review the podcasts on Apple Podcasts. Give us some stars, cheer us on, Leave a review. Because believe it or not, that stuff.
Actually really does help.
And I read all of them. So my last thought for today, please remember you are stronger than you think and the future holds good things for you. Tomorrow can be an inspired day. Every new morning is a second chance. Every day is a great day to grow. We're thankful to have you here in the Growth Day community. So be sure to go deeper with us@growthday.com.
Sam.