How to Integrate Your Wins

This is really important. It's a very simple question. I ask all my high performing clients and these are people who pay over a million dollars to work with me. I'll ask them on day one, tell me about your integration practices. And they'll say, what do you mean? I say, well, when do you take a moment to integrate the progress or the good things that are happening in your life? And they're, most of them are like, what does that mean? You know, Meaning they're not even taking a moment to ever write down their gratitude or more importantly, feel the gratitude. Integration, what does that mean? I always talk about this with so many friends, so many friends who have had so many wins, right? Successes, and they don't feel like a success yet. So good things have happened to themselves, but they haven't integrated that they are good, right? It's that person who never feels satisfied, who always feels a lack, who never feels high self worth. Why? Because even though the good things are happening, even though they've made things happen, they've never put their hand on their heart and integrated the good things into their identity. So everything else just bounces off that. If we want meaning and fulfillment to happen in our lives, we, when meaningful things happen, we have to integrate them into our life. We have to say, ah, that was meaningful. And you almost have to pull it right into your body, into your mind and your heart. You have to say, ah, I felt that. You know, it's like I was recently at a wedding and it was funny to see how different people participate and see and experience weddings. To me, it's just like I'm taking so much of it in. And I wouldn't say because I'm an empath in any way, it's just because I go, you know what? This is one, this is one time, one day this gets to happen for them. Let me enjoy this with them, let me bring some joy to this with them, and let's make this day meaningful. People know to do that, make this day meaningful, make this day meaningful on a wedding day or on Christmas or on your birthdays. And then the rest of the day, the rest of the days of the year just blur on by. Well, I think that first you have to choose to make it meaningful. That's what we do at weddings, right? But then you also have to stop and feel it and integrate it. I had a great mentor of mine. When she found out I was getting married, she said, brendan, here's what I want you to do at your wedding, on your wedding day, after the ceremony, I want to make sure that you pull aside your bride Denise three different times and make a meaningful moment with her and really integrate it into your memory and into your heart. It's the best piece of advice I got ever about my wedding day. It was right. Make a moment, feel it, and really integrate. Take a moment to pause and take in life. Your newborn is finally starting to walk. Those are the moments where you take that in and you just pull it in. You integrate that into your life as a meaningful moment. But a lot of people don't take that same idea when they have successes in life, good things happen. And so even though they have all the reasons in the world to be fulfilled, they don't feel full fulfilled because they've never stacked or integrated. All those good wins, they haven't taken a moment to think about them and, and to feel them and to be grateful for them. Does that make sense? Think about this is a great time of year for you to capture everything that was awesome that happened to you this year. You know, write down all the awesome things, every great memory, every great event, every decision you made that turned out good. Just capture them and sit with them for a minute like, oh, that did happen. What usually people do this year, they're already forecasting next year and they're not even taking a beat to feel what happened this year, especially the good stuff. And that's where they struggle. Excuse me. So what they do is they're always on to the next thing and they never took five seconds, let alone five minutes to sit with something awesome to happen. So often for me, even after a broadcast like this today, I'll just go and I'll sit afterwards for five minutes and I'll just reflect on it and feel grateful for it and think of not things I need to improve or things I'll just sit and go, what a blessed opportunity. I got to talk to some people today. I felt like that was part of my destiny. I got to do it today. And I'll just sit there and allow feelings of gratitude to overwhelm my body and my mind just for a few minutes. And it's by doing that over and over and over that when you ask, am I fulfilled? I can say, yeah. You know why? Because I allow the gates to lift and the water of gratitude to rush in. But you got to take a moment next to the stream to allow that to happen. And if you don't integrate and this is really important, it's a very simple question I ask all my high performing clients and these are people who pay over a million dollars to work with me. I'll ask them on day one, tell me about your integration practices. And they'll say, what do you mean? I say, well, when do you take a moment to integrate the progress or the good things that are happening into your life? And most of them are like, what does that mean? Meaning they're not even taking a moment to ever write down their gratitude. Or more importantly, feel the gratitude. I love that everyone captures the gratitude, but a lot of people write things down. Don't feel anything. If you're going to write it down, feel it. Feel as you write it, or feel it as you type it. Sit back, look at it, take it all in, breathe with it for a minute, and allow it to actually come into your identity, your psychology, your being. Allow that goodness, those wins to be celebrated internally. And most people don't do that. They don't celebrate anything. They don't. Or a lot of people do. They party all day long. They celebrate, but they never integrated. I know people, they get a big sale. They're like, yes, we got a big sale. Let's go party. They go, party, party, party. The next day they show up, they're miserable. A week later, they don't even feel it. Instead, you know, some of the best celebrations you'll ever have is if you just sit with something for a minute, take it in. I was with a friend recently who bought a new house, and they had this great back porch, and they were showing me the new house, and we were walking around the new house, and we're doing this, and we're going to do. They're talking about all the remodels and stuff they were going to do. We're going to do this, and we're going to do this, and this is going to happen. This is going to happen. This happened. We went back to the back porch, and they were just kind of showing around, and they were doing this in the yard. I said, come over here. So what are you doing? I said, come here. And I had him sit down on the steps, back porch. I said, look at all this. I bet this was a dream of yours once to have a house like this. Oh, yeah, it was. Tell me about that. And he shared about his journey of the house he grew up in, which most of you and I would call a shack. And he told the story of how he had, you know, paid for himself. The first member of his family to go to school, first member of his family to get, like, a big job, first member of his family to give back to his community. First member of his family to have a house like that. And he was in that moment of just sharing everything he's going to do. And I just made him sit down and integrate it, take it in. And so I said, literally, hey, let's just sit here for a minute. Just take this in. This is a big win for you in your life. You should celebrate this. Just. Just take it in. And if you ever hung out with me, you know, I do this a lot. I'm going to make you stop all the moments. We're just going to take it in. If we have a big breakthrough together, we're going to sit together, we're going to take it in. If we're, you know, if I'm out with my friends or my family, it's like, we're going to take that moment. We're going to find a moment. Just take it in. You got to integrate it. Take it in. Allow yourself to feel. Otherwise, you'll never feel fulfilled. I hope that makes sense.