How To Make A Great First Impression

Hey guys, it's Brendan. You asked, how do you make a good first impression? And I was like, you're asking me? I'm pretty awkward and weird at first impressions sometimes. So let me bumble through this and hopefully it works for you. Like all of our videos, this is a completely freestyle, just answering a question. The first one is pretty simple. Don't try to make a first impression. It comes across when you're trying and I know you know that, you can feel it. You, you go into social networking kind of. Wait, you can't say that in a social environment you're supposed to be networking. And if you're trying to do something, people feel that from you, but you know it and it makes you uncomfortable, doesn't it? When you're in there trying to do something or be something that you're not, the best first impression is someone saying, that dude is just totally being himself. You know, I think about my dad. He was an extraordinarily good man, just incredible. I mean, he, he did three tours in Vietnam. He served, you know, his country. He was a jolly, just happy guy. Had a big Buddha belly because mom always fed him good food, you know, and we lost him in 2009 to leukemia, unfortunately. And I think about the way that he handled that situation and the lessons he told us. And one of the things he was always just saying is be yourself. I thought about the things he went through during that time dealing with chemo and treatment. How easy it would have been for him to try to act a part. But if he wasn't feeling good, he wasn't feeling good. If he was, you know, he was always positive, but he was him and he was remaining himself through the end. He always told, just be yourself. And that remains the all time best two words in personal development. Alright, just be yourself. Add that with the. Now the next two best words in all of spiritual development. Have faith. And now you got a winning combination. Go into the next working networking event. Be yourself. Have faith that it will go fine and you'll be on a much better ground than being one of those guys. Hi, how you doing? You know, you're just like, oh my God, get away from me, creep. Like when you're not being authentic, it oozes someone who is trying or someone who is not trustable. So just be you. And some people say, well, Brendan, though me is someone who would not interact in that, you know, social context. Me is a wallflower. Me is a very introverted person. Who wouldn't want to go do that? I go, then don't go do it. We've all fallen prey to this mass hysteria that says we all have to go in and network and party and do all the other things. Who said, who's telling you you have to do anything that you're not wanting to do now? Don't do it because you're, you know, I tell people all the time, it's like, just because it's hard or uncomfortable doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Matter of fact, most of your growth will come from placing yourself and being yourself, being your best in situations where you may not be comfortable. Part of Mastery of Life is life learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. I know you know that. So if, if you're just. If a networking situation would be good for you and your career and your goals and your dreams. Yeah. Will yourself to get your butt in there and go be the best you get in the game, that's fine. But don't think you have to. I get invited to parties and fundraisers and speeches. I mean, every single day hundreds of invitations come into us because we reach millions of people every single day. So we get tons of requests, tons of. And it's all no. If it's not on my path, I don't have to say yes to it. And I think you need to approach that same way. You don't need to do every networking situation that comes up. But if you do go there, don't try so hard. Go and make sure you do very simple things. 1. Have fun. Nothing makes a better first impression then you just choosing to have real fun, being authentic in the moment, making yourself enjoy the situation versus trying to struggle through to be somebody or be somebody. Go have fun in whatever way is fun for you. If fun for you is one on one with somebody, connecting, learning their story, great. If fun for you is telling a big story and being dramatic, great. Go do that. Make the party or the social situation fun and the first impression on everybody will be significant and it will be positive. The second thing is I don't want you to forget that first impressions have nothing to do with you as much as they have to do with the other person. And I know you know that as well, but how present do you really get for other people? You know, think about the last time you were with your partner, your spouse, your lover, the person you're in an intimate relationship with. If you are, I mean, how present have you really been with them? Dinner. How present are you with them when you're walking in the door? How present are you with them in general, because that level of presence is probably what you're carrying into the social world too. And I want you to remember that if you really want to make a difference and you really want to make an impact, a great quote unquote first impression, it comes from being present with other people and truly listening, be engaged and interested in, in who they are, what they're about, what's going on in their world. Part of the having being great at first impressions is asking questions of other people and genuinely meaning them not read, I read. These are the five great questions to ask at networking event. Makes you another ass who's asking those five questions. Go ask questions that are real for you. Like if you meet somebody, ask them questions that are authentic for you. That's it. Do what you're interested in. Tell people, hey, I'm interested in this. How do you perceive it? What do you do? Learn from them. Don't be so focused on bragging about yourself to make a first impression. Instead, learn enough about someone that you can brag about them to the next guy. Meaning if now you're talking with someone, you learn something about them. Someone walks up and be like, hey, what's your name? Oh, Pete. Hey, Pete, this is Barbara. Barbara's awesome. She's just telling me how she's like this now you're just bragging up on Barbara versus worrying about bragging about yourself. And in that situation, you will be the person of influence. And I think the last simple reminder that we forget all the time that a real first impression, what makes the great difference, in addition to being ourself and having faith that that will go well, being interested in other people, is to change the emotional tone, the conversations in the context we find ourselves in life. If you're on first impression and you're talking with somebody and everyone's kind of bland, but you just say, you know what? I'm change the tone here a little bit. With my energy, my physicality, my spirituality, I'm just going to leave this situation a little bit more positively energized, whatever that means for the context you're in, right? If you're volunteering in hospital and someone's very sick and they're going through a tough time, you don't need to go in and party and Jack, you know, go all crazy and be a clown around them. But if you just served authentically in that situation to make that person feel cared for and you left on a positive, upbeat tone, they would feel that they would remember you. How you leave is much more important than the first impression. And we always forget that, right? We always forget that people only have a memory so long. They might not even remember the first time they met you. And if they do, it might be distorted, but they remember how you left them feeling. And that's what you have to focus on, that when you go to leave, when you go to leave, the conversation or the social context is to say, how can I leave this better than I found it? How can I have contributed some positive energy or positive perspective to this? Because if you walk away and they're like that person's who they are and you know they were interested in us and you know that was a positive feeling when they left, you have accomplished everything you need to have done in your first impression. Go out there, try these ideas, remember them next time you're in a networking situation, you'll start to experience a whole lot more of what we call the charge Life. Hey guys, it's Brendan. Did you like this episode? If you did, you can do three things right now to continue your journey. First, you can subscribe right here to my channel, which I hope you will, so I can keep sending you videos on a weekly basis to change your life. Second, you can get my brand new book for free by clicking the link right here. And third, you can also go to my website, sign up for my newsletter so that I can send you free offers, free products, free programs, updates on my events, new podcasts, and everything else that we don't do on this channel. And here, if you like to do that, just go ahead and click any of these buttons you see right here. Look forward to seeing you on the next video. Until then, go out there every single day of your life. Live fully, love openly and make your difference today.