How To Recover from Difficult Times

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Hey, my friends, it's Brendon Burchard. And welcome to the Brendon Show. This is a podcast about helping you reach high performance in your life, in every area, area of your life. It's about staying more motivated, more confident, more discipline and on purpose. You know, the high performance experience is really about feeling more vibrant, more connected, more excellent, more fulfilled in your life. But it's also challenging you because you and I both know it's difficult to reach those levels of high performance without support, without ongoing commitment and dedication to your own personal development. So welcome to our HPX community. Thank you for joining us here on the Brendon Show. I'm super pumped for today's episode. Before we begin, I want to let you know that we have specials right now on our HPX nutrition line. If you didn't know it, I rolled out three specific products to help you with your performance. These are three specific supplements that will really give you the edge. Now, don't worry, I'm not starting an MLM or a downline. I'm not asking you to promote any of my products. And frankly, just like you, there's a lot of different companies and a lot of different products that I love and I enjoy and I'm not trying to compete with. It was specifically, I could not find three world class supplements that specifically helped me in these areas. So we've got HPX Optimize, which is a mental focus and energy product for your brain health. Then we've got Essentials, which is a functional multivitamin which we've basically enhanced for longevity, for joint health and for vitality and digestion. But what we did, instead of like making a multivitamin where they sprinkled a million different things in there that actually have no effect, we put in dosages here that you'll be amazed by. And then finally we've got HPX Organic Boost, which is the energy drink mix that I take because it's 100% organic. It's actually delicious too, I have to tell you that. So go check it out. HPX wellness.com, everything you need to know is right there. And if you've ever wanted to know how to reach the high performance experience in terms of your biology and physiology, these products can really support you. Go to hpxwellness.com and without further ado onto today's episode.

If you can enter the challenge from how you feel now, would life be different? Yes or no? Yes or no? Totally different. When you are empowered with choice, everything shifts. What might happen Today that might trip me up or stress me out. And how do I meet it as my highest self? I anticipate there's going to be a.

Struggle during the day.

And I ask myself in the morning, before I even get there, how can I meet that as my highest self? And I don't say that. Cause wow, look at me. I had to develop that. Cause I wasn't meeting stress. Well, sometimes the exact places that you're not doing well in life, you need to be very disciplined about starting a habit, or what we'll teach you called a trigger that will enable you to meet and serve in those situations better. Cause if you're in a place where you're an adult and you have a recurring conflict or situation that continually brings you stress and anxiety, it needs to be an imperative for you to deal with that better. Because maybe that situation isn't going away right. Sometimes that situation, if it's your business and it's struggling, it might be years. So I'm like, you don't have to suffer for years in the caged life. You can choose to move through it. But I share all that because this is what began me and my journey, looking for those triggers and looking for those habits. Because I wanted to live an extraordinary life. I wanted to take advantage of that second chance. I wanted to earn this blessed life. I wanted to earn it. And so I got it. I knew my questions, I knew what my questions were. And I knew the greatest gift was I didn't just know the questions, but I realized if you know your questions, then you can live your life intentionally so that next time or when you do ask those questions, you're happy with the answers at the end. So I said, I'm gonna live and I'm gonna love and I'm gonna matter and I'm gonna do it every day. And I'm gonna set up a measurement system. Every night, including last night upstairs when I go to bed, I say, did I live today? Did I love today? Did I matter today? And the truth is, I'm not perfect. There's not like every night. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Right. It's not like that. But mostly they are because I set up what was necessary for that. And mostly I get to experience that and I get to sleep peacefully because of it. And the truth is, I have good days and bad days. But when I can say yes to most of my end of life questions and answer them in positive ways, those are the nights I sleep the best. So I'd encourage you to find your own questions. And live intentionally. Even if that sounds like common sense, we all know it's not always common practice. Your family and your team needs more intention from you. So does your health. And so do you. And that would be true for all of us. Is this true all of us? If you have humility, you're like, you know. Right? Yeah, I could. There's more there. It's good. So choose how you want to experience life. Let me tell you about where people are and how they can get out of it, though. Let's talk about this cage life.

Cause remember, I was there.

Let me help you define what that means so you can spot if you're there or if some of your loved ones are there. Because it happens.

Right?

We all have a big social network these days, and some people are there. The qualities of this, of the cage life. Let me walk you through what's happening so you can know when you're cued into it and be wary of it. First one, the quality of the cage life. It's fearful and often frustrated at the same time. It's the rattling of the cage. You're scared that you're trapped and you're frustrated about life. If you just constantly feel frustrated about life, you might not define it this way, but I do. You're in the cage life. It's okay because we've all been there. How many people have been there before? Be honest. So look around the room. So that everything we're talking about, we're just talking about the human experience here. It's okay. All of us. The human story only has two narratives. The human story only has two narratives. One is struggle and one is progress. That's the only themes we have. Right? That's the only themes we have. And throughout our lives, we bounce back and forth between the two of them. Right? All of humanity is found between those two things. It's okay if you don't feel happy. It's okay too. I'm not that person. You should be happy 24 7. It's like, no stuff happens. We're gonna talk about the difference between emotions and feelings. Emotions land on us. A lot of times this happens. We gotta talk about how to deal with the feelings so that you can manage that better.

But for those who are going through hardship, I honor you.

You're in a good place and you're in a safe place to explore these things. The second thing that you have, that second feeling is resignation. You shake the bars and you try to change. You try to change your house, you try to change your husband. You try to change the team, you try to change a financial disaster coming and it doesn't seem like it's working. And you're so angry and scared at the same time. And at some point you're like, well, screw it, I give up, I tried. Screw him, screw the business, screw the people. I'll just show up at work, go through the motions and leave. Screw them. I'm not gonna give them anymore. I'm not gonna give them any more of me. I'm not gonna give them my ideas, I'm not gonna create with them. Don't need to anymore. Screw them. You just get even. If it's not screw em, it's just resign. You're like, I've tried so hard. And you get exhausted from it and the exhaustion's real. You're just resigned. You're like, why even try? It is a very dangerous place to be. You need to know when you tip into that resignation in life. You need to know because if you're on a team or helping people and you resigned, well, my work doesn't make an impact anymore. No one likes my ideas anyway. Nothing's happening and you're just throwing up your arms. If you're constantly throwing up your arms in life, you're in a very dangerous place. If you're there, you are in the danger zone. Because you know what? From there it is a quick slippery slope.

Hey, it's Brendan. I'm bopping in here real fast for you to urge you to go to hpxwellness.com and check out our products to help you get more of that mental focus and energy. You need to stay at your best, to deliver with excellence, to feel like vibrant again. Because I know we all struggle with mental fatigue and mental focus. We all sometimes get tired and sometimes we're worried about our overall health. And So I created three specific products to help you with that. Go to HPX wellness.com check out our nutrition line, and let's get you to high performance, baby. HPX wellness.com.

To this last element, bitterness. They don't understand me. They don't understand, they won't help, they don't get it. Screw them, people. And then you're like that big animal, just watching life as a spectator, looking at all the people walking by, thinking they're foreign. They don't get you. And it's this place where I considered suicide. Matter of fact, most people who experience or try suicide go through these levels. A lot of fear and frustration, resignation from life, and then bitterness. Because the ultimate act of Suicide is usually someone saying they can't understand. And when you say they can't understand, you don't ask for help anymore. And that's the ultimate cliff of life, when you don't believe other people understand. And so you quit. Either quit life or quit what you're doing. But I share this to high performers because it's not always so dire. It's not always a car accident or a suicide or challenge. Because guess what? Leaders in the room go through the same thing. Even if your life is good, you can be caged. How many know what I'm talking about? Even if your life is good, hey, you made your money, you got the house, the cars, the picket fence. Things are good. You rattled the cage. You know, you tried things. But now you're in a relationship and you feel stuck or trapped. Now you're at a job or a career, you feel stuck or trapped, and at some point you throw up your arms and then you say, they don't understand all that cage stuff. That's ego stuff. Bitterness is an ego thing, a negative ego thing. It says they can't understand me. But you know what? Super wealthy people sometimes say they don't understand me. They don't understand how hard I work. That's caged thinking. They don't understand. I've had to do this in very sensitive areas too. A mother who lost her child to cancer at the age of 12, if I remember right, lost her child at the age of 12. She was caged. They don't understand what I've been through. All of her friends stop calling and talking to her friends. Why? They can't understand what I've gone through. So successful people do it. People in dire need say it. It's very easy to be caged when you think that other people don't understand. The ego has taken you because really no one can understand 7 billion people on the planet. 7 billion people on the planet. Hundreds of thousands of epochs. We've got a situation where we've got literally hundred thousand years of experience and knowledge from archeology. We've got tens of thousands of years of recorded human history. Like we can see or measure by archaeology or what was left behind. We know from all of the writings, all the scriptures. These are many 2000, 3000 years old. There's only two stories in all of that struggle and progress. And if you don't think someone can understand your struggle, the ego ate you up. You don't think so? I had to say, darling, you're not the only person who's ever lost a child. Now that sounds flippant, right? To say that to somebody. But is it true? It's true. And sometimes as a coach, I gotta just call it out. I'm like, you're not the only one. Because when you think you're the only one, either because you're so disadvantaged or. Or so special, like the billionaire, you're in the caged life. Because guess what? When you believe you're the only one, you've lost the oneness of life. If you believe you're the only one, you've lost the connection to all the.

Other souls, to your creator.

You lost reality. You're in a warp zone if you believe you're the only one. That's why I tell people all the time, the fastest way to get out of the cage life is to be vulnerable and say, I need some help. Because then people will come in and they'll describe things, they'll connect you, they'll talk with somebody. You come to a seminar, you go.

To event, you do networking.

Because suddenly someone will open a door and you'll meet somebody just like you. And when you meet somebody just like you, hope starts rattling that cage. Not fear. When you see other people going through your stuff, courage starts rattling that cage. Not fear when you see lots of other people or you talk to two or three other people. Because sometimes it can take one soul out of 7 billion to open that gate for you, and you're out. One new person you can meet can open that gate. That's why I tell people, especially when you're depressed, you need to get social support, get around other people. And the science confirms it. In psychology, social support is the most important thing to pull somebody out of depression. More than anything, it's more powerful than drugs itself. When you control, it's absolutely necessary to have people around you to support you. But that doesn't happen unless you ask for help. When I went through my struggle with a car accident, I was so bitter when I came back, I don't know why, I just told people about it. I'd be like, I went through this situation. And lots of people are like, dude, that's heavy, dude. They'd have nothing to give, nothing to serve, nothing. I was doing college, right? I go back and college, you're like, this kid's heavy. But, man, I went back a different person. Because when they knew me, I was caged. When I came back, I had intention to live and love and matter. I was a fireball. I was alive. And they were like, what's wrong with you? And I'd be like, what's wrong with you? Do you ever change your life? And the people around you, they don't change. And now they're, like, pointing at you like, what's wrong with you? You drink the Kool Aid. What's wrong with you? You're different. Why aren't you different? Right? You start to feel like, no. Yeah, you change.

It's a beautiful thing.

But sometimes people, they're in their own cage. They can't understand your freedom. They just won't. You'll just be on fire. And they'll be like, what's wrong with you? And you'll be like, what's wrong with you? Don't do that. I'm just. Don't say. But you'll feel differently because you hear it say, I'm here. All right.

Hey, it's Brendan. I hope you enjoyed that episode and I hope it helped you reach another level of high performance in your life, whether it's just a shift in your mindset or shift in your habits or a shift in your intention for the day. I really honor you for listening to the Brendon show and I'm deeply thankful. So could you do me a favor? Could you just go onto itunes or Apple podcasts and rate and review this episode or any of our episodes? And also while you're there to help me, just download the last five episodes, too, onto your phone. Because, you know, Apple really cares about the downloads and the rating and reviews, and I've never really asked for that in six years of podcasting and finally my friends convinced me to ask you to do that for me. I've never asked anything on my podcast community ever, but I'd really, really appreciate if you could do that. Also, if you would like some more in depth training, please don't forget that every single month I go live for two hours and teach new and original personal development, research new frameworks to my entire virtual community in our HPX coaching program. And you can just go to hpxcoaching.com that's hpxcoaching.com to learn all about the different options there. But listen, I'm live two hours every single month with literally thousands of high achievers from around the world who tune in to get these new frameworks for reaching high performance in their life. Sometimes we talk about relationships, sometimes we talk about breaking bad habits. Sometimes we talk about achieving another level of confidence or discipline or goal attainment, but we are there every single month. And I'd love for you to join us. Just go to hpxcoaching.com to see all of your options and really join us. Dedicate yourself to personal mastery. Dedicate yourself to this journey. Not just once in a while with an episode here or there, or a book there, but literally a program that could change your life. It's called HPX Coaching. And you can go to hpxcoaching.com until next time, my friends, please remember every single day, you can choose to be average or ordinary or just kind of go through the motions, or you can be more intentional, more disciplined, more excellence driven what you do because you know you need to serve those you love and those that you lead. You can choose to be extraordinary. So my friends, go out there today and be extraordinary.

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