How to Reignite Your Drive for Success

Do not wait until you achieve the things you think you're supposed to achieve to feel and be the person that you want to be. Just start now. Be more confident. Start being more confident. Talk more confidently, gesture more confidently. Act more confident in social situations, act into the person you want to become. Long term achievement comes from basically mastering your philosophy, the way that you're thinking, your psychology and your practices, the things that you're doing, your habits, your routines, the way that you show up in the world. So let's jump right into this. Now you game bust out your journal. Let's rock around any ideas that come up for you. Right? Right, right, Right. First and foremost, first step to developing a better philosophy for achievement. Very simple. Remember, the goal is, is not the goal. Now if that sounds like some weird daoism, it's okay. What I mean by this is whatever goal it is that you want, that's probably not the real goal. So here's what the real goal is. That almost all goals come down to you wanting to pursue lifestyle improvement and self actualization. You're not really after the car, you're after a different life experience. You want to experience something different in life and you want to feel like you are growing and showing at the best levels you can, right? You want to know that you're just like, man, I'm showing up in the best way that I can. And I'm growing now because I'm activating my full self, my full creativity, my full contributions in the world. Right? So just keep in mind that the overall philosophy you must have to achieve more in life is to say all, okay, what I'm really after is a better overall life experience. How I feel and sense the world and how I'm living in that world, including your lifestyle. And second, that you're after full activation of yourself each day and growing into your best self, living from and into your highest self. Right? Your full potential. So this is very simple. The overall philosophy we must have, no matter what your goals are, that achievement now is going to mean the achievement of your full potential and the lifestyle that you desire. I just want to remind you that because people get very obsessive about the goal and so they fall to that old saying where they made the destination the thing, when really the thing should have been the journey. So on this journey we want to know what's life feel like. Are you setting everything up so that your life feels amazing as you march towards your goals? Are you setting everything up so that you show up and you encourage yourself and challenge yourself? To experience and enjoy the day as you seek that next level. Right? That is the part, if you've read the motivation manifesto, of becoming the joyous master. So I want you to enjoy this process and know that we're after lifestyle experience and self actualization. That's the ultimate achievement, isn't it? Becoming our best self and creating and enjoying our overall life experience from how we show up to how we interact with those that we love. Second, you need to think about what that lifestyle would be for you. So a statement like this, I want you to decide what I want you to say. This is how my overall lifestyle I must improve now. I want you to think about that. This is how my overall lifestyle must improve now. Hmm. Well, I need to get more disciplined in my habits. I need to manage my relationships better right now. I need to work on getting out of this crummy house. I need to get out of this job that's making me miserable right now. My overall lifestyle, what would make me feel more connected to myself, to my days and to others in my life would be like, what? I just want you to start thinking about your life again overall and where you're at. I also want you to think about this. Who must I become and how can I immediately start living into that truth with daily practices? When we think about the power of this, who must I become and how can I immediately start living into that truth with daily practices? So for me, as an example, I said, you know what? If I'm going to change the world, I must become a more confident person. Believe it or not, I was not Mr. Go out and socialize with everybody. I had been through a relationship in high school and college that broke my heart and I withdrew from people. And I wasn't Mr. Social Butterfly. I was more of the introverted kid. Matter of fact, today, even still, when I take a psychology test, I'm right down in the middle between an introvert and an extrovert. I can go out and rock crowds of tens of thousands of people, but then I need to go back into the green room and meditate and chill and find my center. You can't write five books unless you have some sense of self, introspection and that joy of being alone. Believe me. So I share this with you though, because I knew I had to become more confident as a person. So I said, okay, what can I do each day to become more confident? I said, I'm going to force myself every single day to go up and talk to a coworker when I had a corporate job. I'm going to make sure I make eye contact and talk with the barista, with the person who's serving the food, with the person who I meet on the street. I'm going to be more confident. I'm going to stand more. I'm going to stand all the time as if I was completely confident. Not cocky, just sure in myself, comfortable with myself. I'm just going to start standing that way and speaking that way right now. I'm not going to wait until one day I've achieved something to stand strong in my truth. I'm going to do that right now. And that was so important to me. So I want you to think about that. Who would you have to become and how could you start living that truth every single day? So the takeaway message here is so simple, right? It's do not wait until you achieve the things you think you're supposed to achieve to feel and be the person that you want to be. Just start now. Be more confident. Start being more confident. Talk more confidently. Gesture more, talk confidently. Act more confident in social situations. Act, act into the person you want to become. I know that's so basic, but a lot of people forget it, right? Oh, I hope one day I'm happy. No, no, no. Start being happy, right? Don't wait for happiness to land on you. Generate it and do that on a consistent enough basis. This is one of the most powerful questions, all of personal development. Who must I become and how can I immediately start living into that truth? With daily practices. You want to become a healthy person? Start daily practice becoming a healthy person. You want to be a better spouse? Start right now with some habits and routines. Right now. Just write them down, journal. What could you do? There's no right answers, but you need something, right? Next, let's choose method based goals and things that we're going after. What do I mean by that? Well, let's choose something that. If we're going to choose something, let's make it friendly to developing a method or a routine behind to actually accomplish it and choose something. Let's say you want to get healthy. Great. Then follow a specific diet. That's a method of achieving health. Let's say you want to be more physically vital. Great. You would choose a martial art. There's a martial art that would have a method to help you get there. You want to choose, you want to drop a few pounds. Great. Try like the virgin diet where you're just going on specific things. You're removing these foods, you're trying things out, goals that are just like broad goals, but there's no one's ever developed a method to achieving them. It makes it harder for us to accelerate because we're just guessing. We're just trying a bunch of things instead of looking for has anyone sought to ever achieve that and developed a method for achieving it? Which means, like, if we're going to lose weight, we need to set up a trigger of behavior to get there. That means, okay, gosh, every time I drop the kids off, as soon as I drop the kid off, that triggers me to go, right? I need to go to the health food store and get some new groceries, right? That we set up triggers that happen for us. So we already have one behavior going drop the kids off. And then another behavior that fires right when we do that. Drop the kids off, go to the health food store, right? It's just like when, like we can have a goal of being more grateful in our life, we need to set up a behavior that triggers that. For example, one of my great friends and mentors and a guy I've been blessed to tour Europe with and have on my stages and read a lot of his books and him endorse some of my work is Wayne Dyer, one of my favorite teachers in the personal growth space. And Wayne wanted to be a more grateful person. So what did he do? He triggered a behavior when he wakes up and he rolls out of bed and his feet hit the ground. That happens every morning, right? Hopefully. So when his feet hit the ground, his mind is triggered and says, time to be grateful. So he is trigger is roll up, feet hit the ground, closes my eyes and say, thank you, thank you, thank you. He gives gratitude to starting that day and he's done that for so long that he's a grateful person. So one of his grand achievements was to become a grateful person. How did he become a grateful person? Well, the same way that Oprah became a grateful person. She wanted to be grateful. So what did she do? She started a gratitude journal for 20 plus years. I think it's 30, but 20 plus years, she wrote a gratitude journal every night. It made her deeply conscious and thankful and appreciative for her life. It was a behavior before bed journal. Wayne Dyer Morning feet hit the ground, gratitude. So they had a goal and they set a behavior. As soon as something happens, right before bed or right at the beginning, these things happen. Drop the kids off, do this action, right? Or maybe, maybe your thing is you want to develop more muscle. So you do your workout, you take your shake, right, Whatever it is. You need to think about setting up behaviors that are tied to each other when. When one thing happens, the next follows every time, because that thing's always going to happen. They're always going to go to bed. They're always going to wake up, right? And whenever that happens, an immediate thing is triggered that's healthy and helps them achieve more as well. Next, you need to focus on how you're showing up as much as and more than how fast you are advancing. Focus more on how you're showing up than how fast you are advancing. A lot of people mess this up. They're like, well, Brenda, I'm not getting ahead fast enough. So I quit. I'm like, oh, no, don't worry about how fast you're advancing. The reality is, how fast you're advancing will take care of itself if you're focused on how you show up in the world. So let me give you a couple quick distinctions that are so vital to my life and to everyone I coach, especially my Olympic athletes. And it sounds so simple, but remember, common sense is not always common practice. But if you can make this your overall philosophy, you'll get there. First and foremost, act from strength, from your highest self. Act from the strength of your highest self. I want you, from now on, to walk into every situation in your life and say, how would I respond to this if I was responding from my highest self, that one mental trigger, that one mental thought into every situation. Like, look, if I walk in the studio today and I say, okay, how am I gonna speak to my audience today coming from my highest self? I would have to come from my most compassionate, articulate, vibrant place in my life to be able to deliver for them. And so I tell myself that, right? It's if you're gonna go in and you're gonna work with your child and help her do better at math, you need to go, okay. How would my highest self show up to help her with her math? Even if you've been frustrated with her, right? It's that conscientiousness. It's that choice to be conscious, entering into situations to show up as your best self, that's gonna make you better. When the tennis pro hits that court, says, I'm gonna perform today from my highest place of excellence. And that is their intention. They do better than if they just walk on the court and go, okay, guys, let's play some 10, right? It's intentional, and that's what makes people remarkable. Next, bring the joy. If you studied any of my work, this has been fundamental to everything I teach for as long as I've been teaching. You must bring the joy into every situation. You enter every situation. Because the joy and the happiness of life doesn't just randomly exist out there. We have to access it, amplify it, tap into it, generate it. So I want you to have this whole new attention. If we just stopped everything here and you just decided, from now on, in every situation you entered, you're gonna do your best to bring the joy. You're gonna go sit down and have lunch with your girlfriends. Bring the joy. You're gonna approach someone who's having a real tough time in their life. Bring the joy. You're gonna be somebody who's gonna work with your team. Bring the joy. If you bring a joyous spirit and energy, two things happen. One, gosh, you feel good. Your life starts to transform. Because you're not waiting for a happiness or joy to land on you. You're generating it. It's the most powerful metaphor of my personal life, which is the power plant does not have energy. It generates energy. And your job is to bring the joy to every situation. Third piece. Be patient and onto the journey. You must be patient with yourself, always on the journey. Look, if you're playing a sport and you're in that game and you're not doing well, you cannot get mad at yourself. Throw your clubs, throw your racket, get pissed and walk around and get mad at yourself. It ruins your performance. Instead, you must recognize you're not performing at your top level and challenge yourself. Okay, what must I do to perform now at a more high level? How can I bring a sense of joy and presence to this? Because in that sense of presence and joy, we find mastery. So be patient with yourself. If it's a struggle, if it sucks, honor that. Go. Okay, this is sucking right now. This is just frustrating. However, I will rise above. I will approach it from my best place. Even though I can get sucked into being negative, I could be sucked in being angry, I could be sucked into being a jerk. I'm not gonna do that, because my highest self would not do that if we just did that. Wouldn't we change our lives if we just did that? Maybe you write these on cards, you know, for yourself. Act from strength of your highest self. Bring the joy. Be patient. And on the journey, what if you just carried that in your wallet for a while? What if you just thought about that for a while? I promise you, as simple as that is, it would change your psychology over a period of time, and suddenly you'd achieve more Period. Because you'd be in a better mindset. Forget all the methods. If we don't get the mindset right, we're not going to achieve a lot. So maybe you put this in your phone, put these three things in your phone that pops up during the day and makes you go, oh, right, I'm not bringing the joy right now. I'm miserable. And then you realize you're being miserable. Misery didn't land on you. You're generating that. So let's generate a different quality. Let's put a big smile on our face. Let's think about what we're grateful for. Let's get engaged in something that we care about and. And let's get enthusiastic about the future. That's gonna bring a different level of emotional reality. And then we'll start feeling better. Next, very simple. Find commitment before. How. What do I mean by that? The greatest way to achieve anything is to do what we've talked about in these first three steps, and then to decide to be committed to. To something before you know how to do it. Many people, because they don't know how to do something, they stop. They have a dream, but they don't know how. So they stop. And that's why they become unsuccessful. But successful people say, I have a dream. I don't know how to do it yet, but I'm committed to the dream, so I will figure out the how. So some simple concepts here that will help you, first and foremost, build a case for change. And anytime you want to accomplish something, anytime an achievement is important for you, whether it's your health, whether it's how you're going to show up as a partner, as a spouse, whether it's how you're going to lead your team, whether it's going to be how you turn around your business, you need to sit and think, what's my case for change here? Why do I want to do this? So I want you to think about this question. What are the reasons that this goal must happen for you? What are the reasons this growth must happen for you? And I want you to journal about them. Otherwise it's just a dead dream. It doesn't exist. You need to think about, why must these things happen for you right now? Because if you're not committed to that, it's just going to be a casual interest, not a committed dream. There's a difference, right? A casual interest, yeah, sure, I'd love to lose some health. I'd love to be healthier. But you won't do it because it's not committed. You haven't decided. Why do I need to become healthy right now? See, a lot of people. Here's what I. I've met people from all walks of life who tell me, Brendan, you know, at some point, I really became focused on what I eat. And I said, why did you become focused on what you eat? And I said, well, because I got cancer. I go, oh, it took getting cancer for you to decide to get healthy? Well, that happens for lots of people. A big why appeared for them. It's like, whoa, emergency. Pay attention to this. So they decided to do it. But we don't need cancer or knock on the head to decide to change our lives. What we need is introspection and self awareness. So that's all those things did for us, is they triggered those things. The accident, the disease, the loss, the challenge. Those just triggered greater self awareness and introspection to what's important to us in life. That's all it did. So why don't we just do it without the emergency? Sit down and think, okay, why must I achieve this goal? Why must I grow right now? Next, I want you to think about this. Why do you expect that your goal will happen? Why do you expect that it will happen? Say this can happen for me because what? This can happen to me because I will show up, I will be committed. I will seek the resources I will ask for. I will stay on top of it. It will happen for me because I will leverage my strengths of compassion and learning and discipline to make this happen. It will happen for me because I deserve it, because I've worked so hard for this. What are the reasons you expect it will happen? And if you are not clear on this, you will not sustain your motivation. Right? Read the chapter on motivation in my book, the Motivation Manifesto, and you will be reminded how vital it is that the first step to sparking motivation is our ambition, what we want, but also expectancy, believing that we can have it and we can make it happen. It's vital.