How to Stop FEARING Rejection
14 Dec 2023 · 16 min
This is a podcast episode titled "How to Stop FEARING Rejection" recorded on December 14, 2023. It features Brendon TEST Burchard delivering a motivational talk focused on overcoming fear of rejection, embracing boldness, and personal growth. The content is a monologue rather than a conversation, with Brendon sharing personal stories and encouraging listeners to face their fears and take action.
You got more people who got your back then will throw something at it, and it's your belief otherwise that prevents you from going for it. You got to get over rejection, and you got to know, do your thing. I know you know that, but if you practice it at another level, you'll be more authentic on social media. You'll get better deals, you'll support more people in your team. You got to get over rejection and have that boldness in your heart that says something about now it's your time. Let me tell you just a simple metaphor for rejection. Because when you get over rejection, your life opens to a level you never even dreamed possible. When you just do your thing and it's you and it's authentic and it's live, there are no apologies anymore. And if you're still driving your life some way based on rejection, you're not living your life yet. And I know that can sound simple. So let me just give a metaphor, maybe a little activity to ask you guys a few questions. How many of you have ever been rejected in a way that it wasn't just like a casual rejection? Someone rejected you and it hurt your feelings in such a way. You became different, you behaved different, it hurt your identity. We would say, has that ever happened? Raise your hand and look all around this arena. We've all been rejected somehow. How many of you ever had that happen? Let's say by three different people? Three different people rejected you in a way that shaped your future or shaped who you became. Three different people, raise your hands. If I went out to lunch with you today and I sat you down, I said, tell me five people who have maybe hurt your feelings or shaped your identity in that way. Such a significant rejection. How many of you could easily name the five people? Raise your hands. Okay, notice what's happening in the room here. How many of you would know right off the top of your head? There were seven different people. Remember, it wasn't casual. It was a big rejection. Raise your hands. Okay, how many of you just know right off the bat? 15 different people, raise your hands. 20. If you're sitting next to someone who just raised their hand, give them a big hug. Would you do that? But we had, in an arena, very few people. You saw people raising their hand, shout out, what number was the average number in this room? 3. 5. 3 5. Okay, let's double it. Let's say there were 10 people who rejected you. 10 jerks who really shaped you. But how many? Let me ask you a different question. You're like, boy, Brent, this is real motivational. When's the balloons come out? But listen, how many of you have ever met with, interacted, known, talked with, and it went fine? You met 10 people in your life and they were cool with you, they were fine with you, they supported you. Raise your hands. There's more than 10 people in this room. If you didn't know. How many of you have ever met with, known, interacted, talked with over 200 people, and they were cool with you, they let you do your own thing. How many of you guess at this age in your life, you've probably met with, known, interacted, talked with over a thousand people. They didn't care what you did. They let you do your own thing. They didn't say anything about it. You just lived your life. How many of you think there were a thousand people who probably supported you or at least didn't bother you? Raise your hands. See? So here's the issue. If you're scared of rejection, you suck at math. I don't want to go to Las Vegas with you. Look, if that's your odds, if you're playing those odds, you suck at math. Imagine this, 10 jerks over here, 1,000 people who got your back over here. You're standing in the middle, and you're worried about them. If you thought about it, mathematically, at least statistically, 10 out of a thousand, they're the oddities, they're the statistical improbabilities, they're the weirdos. If you thought about it one more second, really, you got a thousand people, you can storm these suckers. You got more people who got your back then will throw something at it, and it's your belief otherwise that prevents you from going for it. You got to get over rejection and you got to know, do your thing. I know you know that, but if you practice at another level, you'll be more authentic on social media. You'll get better deals, you'll support more people on your team. You got to get over rejection and have that boldness in your heart that says something about now. It's your time to be yourself. It's your time to stop worrying about other people. If you agree with me, raise your right hand and say, it's my time. Shout it out, it's my time. Turn to the person left, right, shake their shoulders, say, it's your time. Gotta be your time. If you're gonna change the world, you gotta jump in and face those fears. You're scared to make the call. Make the damn call. You're scared to ask for it. Go for it. You're scared to try something new. Do it. I was terrified to try to do a Tony Horton donkey kick in front of you. I even told Carl backstage. I'm like, I think I'm going to try this. He's like, that could have been a disaster. I was terrified, totally scared. But I'm like, you know what? Then that's the edges of your growth. Your fear is the edge of your growth. Go there. Go there. If you don't jump in, you won't change your life. I'll tell you a story where somebody changed my life with this exact message. Back in the day, I had the opportunity to go skydiving with some friends, and you can already look at my face. I think I'm the least enthusiastic guy. Then I'm kind of looking at him like, we're gonna do what? And they're like, we're gonna go skydiving. So I remember, we pull up in the middle of nowhere, Arizona, in an SUV with me and my bunch of friends. And we pull up. There's a barn where the hangar is, where they got the plane, this little plane. And then there's a bar. A bar. Like a bar. And I get up in the SUV and I go, I am not getting out of this SUV until I see which building the pilot comes out of. We go into the barn, and they train us how to do it. And it's so simple. They're giving instructions, telling us how to do it, and check your equipment, do all these things. But I'm so nervous and fearful because I hate heights. I can't hear anything they're saying. Sometimes you can't hear when you're scared. I can't hear anything, and I'm just scared, and I'm nervous. And we get in there, and I remember, we get in the plane, we go up, and this is about 5,000ft in the air. We're gonna go to 13,000. Okay? We're about 5,000, 6,000ft in the air. And that's the fakest smile of any picture, if you want to know my fake smile. That's it. Terrified. And I suddenly forget what I'm supposed to do. And I just get really nervous. And I turn to my guy next to me on my ride in the picture. I say, what am I supposed to do? And he doesn't answer. I go, dude, when you get up there, what am I supposed to do again? He's like. I go, yeah, I'm freaking out. What am I supposed to do again? He goes, yeah, you'll be ok. And he said it. I thought he was high. And I start shaming him. Hey, man. He goes, no, no, no, look, Brennan, easy. 5,000 pull. 5,000 pull. I go, what do you mean? He goes, and what? He's motioning towards the big wristwatch we have called an altimeter. It says after you jump out of the plane, you'll fall. And then this thing will tell you when you're at 5,000ft. When you're at 5,000ft, reach back and grab this little orange tennis ball. Pull it. It will deploy the chute and hopefully save your life. I'm like, oh, that's it. He goes, 5,000 pull. I'm like, 5,000 pull. I can do that. All of a sudden, we get up at height, at altitude, the plane goes. My friends are sitting on a bench across from me. You go, and when you came back this time, my friends slide down to the opening in the back of the plane and fall out. And I'm like, oh, okay, 5,000 pull. Just watching your friends fall to their death. And I start freaking out. I'm like, oh. And he goes, next month. We go. I'm like, oh, I don't know. I don't. He's like, here we go. 5,000 pull. You got this. I'm like, I got this. And, hey, look, I've been to the seminars. I'm a motivational speaker. I've worked with and mentored and talked with Tony Robbins. I know what to do. We start. We start sliding down the bench to the end. I'm like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. We get to the door and he goes, 1. And I'm like, yes, I can do this. 5,000 full 2. I go. He goes, 3. Then I go, no. And he throws me out of this. And I pull back, no. And he throws me out. And I go. I'm screaming the top of my lungs, oh, my God. And then you are falling 200 miles an hour. You are falling. I'm screaming, I love this picture. You can see me screaming through my legs. Looks like I pooped my pants. None of your business. I'm screaming at top, my lungs. I remember screaming so hard. As we are falling above the cloud lines, I'm thinking, there's probably dogs on the earth whose ears are bleeding. I'm such a high level. I'm screaming at the top of them, totally freaking out. And when you jump out, you don't realize they don't prepare you for when you jump into your fears. They never prepare you for. Because I jump. Ah. And the Wind, but I can't hear the wind come screaming, and you're falling, and all of a sudden, something went wrong. Can you see it? What went wrong? Let me zoom in for you. See it yet? Well, one, the hair is being ripped from my body, which is wrong. But number two, if you see it, my goggles. I didn't check the equipment. Snap. The rim around my goggles snapped off. Not a big deal unless you're falling at 200 miles an hour because the wind caught the thing. I'm falling. Ah. Poof. Ow. Ow. The thing's drilling a hole through my head. I'm screaming at the top of my lungs. I forget what I'm screaming supposed to do. And you see now, Buddha, the guy on top of me suddenly gets serious. Look at the serious look on his face. And he's pointing towards the ground like, hey, kid, you might want to do something soon or you're going to hit that. But I'm screaming. I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing. So, as a good coach would do, gives a gentle reminder. He goes to grab my hand and show me my altimeter. But the problem is, I'm screaming around like gumpy. And when he grabs my hand, it catches the wind and it goes poof. It almost knocks me out cold. I'm screaming. I don't pick up what I'm supposed to do. I don't pull my thing. So he gives me another gentle reminder, hits me twice, then I go, oh. And then I reach back, I grab the thing. Oh. I'm like, 5,000 pull. I go. I reach back, and I grab this thing, right? And I go to pull it. And before I show you the picture of pulling it, let's do a little interlude to tell you about fears, okay? Because if somebody had sold me this frigging commercial, I wouldn't have jumped out. I wouldn't have dialed that 800 number. I wouldn't have tried to get the extra clothes racks. I wouldn't ask for the bonuses. I wouldn't order rush shipping, because this commercial would not be something I would buy from. Could you imagine the commercial for this? You roll up, you get there, they tell you kind of what to do. You get a plane, you kind of forget what you're supposed to do. He's like, 5,000 pool. 5,000 pool. I can do that, no problem. 5,000 pool. Watch your fence. Watch your fence. Watch your fence. It's your time. Okay, here we go. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Get to the door. One. No. Two. No. Three. Ow. Ow. Oh, God. Oh, God. And you reach back to the bl. It sure is beautiful up here, man. It's beautiful. Oh, my God. It's awesome. It's so beautiful. It's beautiful. And we start going down. I remember just getting about to landing, and around here, he goes, lift your legs, Brendan. Lift your legs, Brendan. I go, why? He goes, so you don't break them. Good tip. I lift my legs, land in the ground. My friends, they always jump after we did it. We were all standing around celebrating. They called this. I did. I jumped in my fears. They call it the hero show. But now the best part of the story. We're all talking around, celebrating. We all think we're cool. I'm like, I can't believe I did that. Oh, my God. And my guy comes up to me, the guy with all the pictures I just showed you on a cd, and he goes, hey, here's all the pictures. Like, you guys had a photographer. He goes, yeah. He was the guy who jumped out immediately before you. You didn't see him? I'm like, no. And he goes, hey, man, are you okay? I said, yeah. He goes, because you were really screaming up there. I go, yeah. I go, yeah. I go. He goes, well, what do you. Let me ask him that. What do you do? Well, you know what? I'm a motivational speaker. And he got up in the ocean. Oh. He goes, hey, man, could I give you some advice? I go, I love advice. I'm here because of advice. Tell me, man. He goes, you see that plane over there? Motion Square plane? He goes, yeah. He goes, I jumped out of that. That 1,000, 147 times. And I go, what? He goes, I've jumped out of that 1,000, 147 times. I go, oh, my God. And he goes, but you're one of those guys. What do you mean, one of those guys? Well, you showed up, you came in the bar, we were telling you what to do, but you're one of those guys. I said, what do you mean, one of those guys? Well, I think you're going to struggle in your career and your life. And I said, what do you mean? He goes, you're one of those guys who hasn't yet learned how to listen through his fears. I was like, whoa. He goes, look, there's a lot of people who did what you did, and you're not listening because you're scared. Those who can't listen through their fears and still do it always have a terrible ride. He tells me. And it shifted me and I think it's relevant for everybody in this room, because everybody in this room, you have mentors here. You're not paying attention to what people are telling you. Somebody did what you did, and they're already earning seven figures. Somebody did what you want to do, and they've already given their family financial freedom. They're just like you. They just did something different. You got to listen. You got to listen through the fears. You walk out these doors at some point and you'll think, you know, I want to do those things, but you'll get scared, ask for help.