How to Take COMMAND of Your Life

I had to assert myself in every area of my life. I didn't know how to speak on stage, I had to assert myself. I didn't know how to sell a book, I had to assert myself. You have to take initiative to learn the thing and do the thing over and over and over. Taking command of your life. That's high agency. When you assert yourself into difficult situations, when you actually assert yourself, when you take the initiative, you are the agent of control in your life. Ultimately, you have within you that ability to assert yourself into the world. Not lock yourself in your room, assert yourself into the room, assert yourself into the school, assert yourself at work, assert yourself into the difficulty, right? It's the firefighter that still asserts themselves into the burning building. That's scary. And that's the stuff of real courage. See, when you assert yourself in a difficult situations, that's courageous. Now, when you think about it, when you actually assert yourself, when you take the initiative, and so many of us, because we want psychological safety 24 7, we've had no courage for a decade. Courage. Asserting yourself even when it's not safe. Asserting yourself even when it's not comfortable. Not worrying about, do I feel perfect? But rather, can I do something here? Can I contribute here? Can I lead here? Can I shift here? Even if it's going to feel awkward, weird and weird and awful. I don't know, like, I had to assert myself in every area of my life. I didn't know how to speak on stage. I had to assert myself. I didn't know how to sell a book. I had to assert myself. I didn't know how to do these broadcasts. I had to serve myself. You have to take initiative to learn the thing and do the thing over and over and over. That's high agency, right? Taking command of your life, that's high agency. Being in a forward, lean, assertive, initiative, focused style of living again. Being back in motion, making those bold moves, doing the things even when it's hard, that is what's going to shift you through. And that's the thing that gives you the even potentiality of having all the things you want. The bigger house, the bigger car, the paying for school, the extraordinary wealth, achievements and health. None of it happens without asserting yourself into the world again. Higher agency in your life. You are the agent of control in your life, ultimately. Now I'm someone who believes that there's a higher agent of control. I believe in God and I believe in his divine guidance. And I also know God has a lot of will for me. God has opened up doors. God believes. But I can also feel that impulse and feel that calling and I can choose not to do it. And that free will that we were granted, I. I believe in that. I believe I can let myself and my God down. I actually believe I can. I believe that I can hear a calling and I can fight against it and resist against it for years, even though he's cheering me on, even though he's opening doors. And now I know not everyone believes in that or that approach to life or even that type of faith, but I believe that there is something divine and bigger than me. But I gotta participate. I gotta participate, man. And some of you, you've been fighting your greatness for a really long time. You've been fighting those grander impulses to contribute and to lead and to give and to start something. You've been fighting, you've been your own worst enemy. Even though you had the knowledge, the wisdom and the calling and only one thing I've ever seen break it. Conviction. What is conviction? Forgive me for being a little high performance guy, but I think it's important to break down terms for people. Most people don't know what I mean by conviction. And I know we have a worldwide audience, so let me just break it down in my style. It might not be, you know, textbook conviction, but I believe most people who have ambitions and, and they take initiative, but they don't break through. They didn't have the conviction there. What is conviction? Well, I think conviction can be broken down into three parts. The first part about conviction is really the answer to a what if statement. In psychology or my coaching business, we would call this expectancy. Right? All motivation and all conviction rests on expectancy. What you expect will happen, well, in your brain, the way your brain forms what I expect will happen is the simple and elegant phrase of what if? Your brain asks the question, what if I do this? How will it turn out? What if it turns out positive? Or what if it turns out negative? Is the foundation of expectancy and conviction. So to have high conviction about something, I expect it will turn out well. I expect the what if will be a positive statement. What if this is the breakthrough? What if this earns me more? What if she says yes? What if I get that first sale? What if one out of a thousand say yes? What if I do this and it turns it all around? What if? And it's positive. What if? And it's positive. Most people lack conviction in their life because their what if statement has a negative conclusion. What if I'm not enough. What if they don't like me? What if the resources don't show up? What if they let me down? What if I'm a loser? What if followed by a negative statement, negative statement, negative statement, over and over and over and over again and they wonder why. There's no belief that, no fire, no conviction. Their expectancy is negative versus positive and generative. When your expectancy goes, oh, it's going to turn out well and I can keep generating that over and over and growing from that positive outcome, then why try? Why not just stay home? Why give anything of myself if I believe things are going to turn out bad? And that's true for a lot of people. Their expectancy is negative, so there's no conviction. Their mindset is negative and pessimistic because they're not doing this daily stuff of feeding your brain with positive inspiration, self improvement, personal development, professional development. I'm somebody, I have to listen to it a lot because my mind can take over and go in other places that are not helpful, that take away my conviction. So there's three parts of conviction. Number one is expectancy. What if followed by a positive, generative, powerful statement, but also conviction is a level. The other two parts of it are intensity and urgency. See, a lot of people, they know they have good ambitions, they're character driven people, they want to take initiative, but the conviction's gone, man. There's no intensity, there's no edge, there's no urgency. They show up and go through the motions and they're just kind of like out of it because they haven't taught themselves to feel the reward of what they do, feel the impact of what they do. There's no intensity there, there's no care there because they're going through the motions versus really crafting their contribution. There's no conviction in the marriage anymore because they haven't opened themselves up to be present and fun and affectionate. So see, the more bland things are every single day because you put no intention and generosity into it, the more you're killing your intensity and conviction. I also believe most people have sufficient urgency. Urgency. And you know why most people have urgency? They've never had accountability in their life. That's why people don't have urgency in their life because they never had accountability. They never had someone say, hey, this was the deadline, you missed it. They never had someone say, hey, this was what you promised. They never had someone say, hey, you were supposed to show up, you need to show up. And see, the problem is you think I'm saying that as a boss, I'm saying that your brain didn't do that. Your brain didn't expect you to be a person of character who followed through on what you said. So you lost all urgency because guess what? If I don't have to follow through on what I say, what's so urgent if I don't have to follow through this week, this day, this ever. If you don't give yourself deadlines, don't be shocked that you're not driven anymore. If you don't give yourself deadlines, don't be shocked. You're not driven. I have to give myself so many deadlines to maintain the edge and the drive and the fire. And some people say, oh, that feels like a lot of pressure. I'm like, good. You need more pressure in your life. The positive, intentional, combinatorial types of pressure that develop your character because that kind of pressure that's chosen and willed that you give yourself that sense of urgency, that kind of pressure makes diamonds, baby. Other people, they don't give themselves any pressure. They're a lump of coal their whole life hoping that some external meteor is going to hit them and and give them some pressure to manifest the beauty in themselves. I'm like, no, no, no. You give yourself that pressure. You have to give yourself that pressure. That stuff of personal will, effort and agency. When you have that, that's the stuff of urgency and we have that urgency. It's like a different thing. It's a very different thing and you deserve to have that sense of urgency. Hey my friends, it's Brendon Burchard and I'm excited to welcome you to the brand new growth day. We are happy to roll out three brand new features that will help you on your personal development journey. 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I can't wait for you to use it and to level up your life and become more. Go get your growth streak and Growth Day right now.