Listen to This If You Don't Give Yourself Enough Credit
22 Apr 2020 · 12 min
Brendon Burchard talks with Waheed about why people burn out trying to stay consistent with personal development. He argues that taking breaks isn't failure, it's how you sustain high performance over time.
Foreign.
It's Brendon Burchard.
And welcome to another episode of the Brendon Show.
Thank you for this amazing event this weekend. This is my third one and I absolutely love it.
Awesome.
But it's a problem with me. And also I've realized that other people also have it. And that's the consistency. Once I leave this event for like three, four months or two months, I'll be consistent doing my. My plans. But then I go back to my old ways of doing the whole T. Waheed. And so that is not a way that I'm so proud because it's a little bit lazy. And then Netflix is his best friends at times.
Give Joheem a big round of applause. This guy's so good.
Yeah.
Okay. Been here three times. Give him a round of applause. That's all.
Awesome.
Waheed. Ah, I see. Waheed, I thought you were saying that. Nice meeting you.
Nice meeting you.
So let's talk about this. Those times that you left here and you went back and good. Waheed showed up and Waheed had a good run. And then all of a sudden it went away. Three months, four months later.
Yeah.
Was Wahid three, four months later, still in contact consistently with the friends he met here?
Yes, I was. And I knew what is right for me to do. I had my planners. I knew that I need to do it. My meditation every morning, all the things you do, like doing some crazy dances just to make myself a little bit.
So what do you think the sticking point was? What do you think it's happening?
I don't know. Maybe I get lazy or something. Or what?
If it's not lazy, why do you think you forget to do it?
What do I forget to do is maybe not much, but I just fail to do what is right. It starts slowly. One day I fail to do, for example, planner, that one day becomes like three days.
Yeah.
And then maybe five days or whatever. And then before I know, like in a. In a matter of like a month, it's just my old bag, my old self.
Does it happen for anyone else around the room? You lose that consistency. You lose that consistency. So you got a lot of friends here, Wahid. That happens too. It happens too. Do you feel like you have elevating levels of demand.
Demands? Yes. But also like, for example, like the burnout, like at work. Once, like I am as a software developer, there are times which I'm under pressure, but once those pressure points comes in, it just messes up my plans. And then for me to bounce back is very difficult. Like Now I'm here. It's awesome. Awesome feeling. And I go back and the same. And I can handle any pressure. But then once I'm like. After like three months, I'm tired and then something happens and I have to deliver something and I need to overwork. Then after that week of overwork, rather than bouncing back and then starting my planner or whatever, who can relate with this?
Exactly. Right now, will you look around the room just so you see this while you like, this is normal. This is normal. Here's a couple things to know. Our human behavior is variable. And here's what I want you to hear it a different way. Here's a gentleman saying, I smash it for four months in a row. Give him a round of applause. Oh, my God. Waheed, you smashed it for four months in a row. Do you know how amazing that is? Okay, high performers who can be hard on yourselves and call yourselves bad Raheeds. How many of you watch this? How many would love to get excellent performance and presence out of your loved ones for four months in a row? Job 1. Reframe expectations. Job 1. When you're down on yourself and you're wondering, I'm not doing this or I'm not doing that, maybe that's true. But let's first start with acknowledgement and praise. Cause to pick up momentum like that is superhuman. So the beauty is that kernel of power is in you. You can pull that off. That's incredible. What's usually happening is you hear them say, the wear and tear, the grind, the burnout is happening there. And even if you're doing a strategic reset or you're dancing or you're doing the thing once in a while. Because human performance is variable when you're at that top. And here's the rule. As you start to feel that, you notice it. Significant break, not daily resets. After four months of being badass, Good. Raheed needs vacation. Raheed, brother, you're crushing it. God bless you for knocking it out for three or four months. You know how rare that is? It's exceptional. Don't we all want that? But to think that the race car doesn't need not just pit stops during the day, it's like, think about golfers, think about sports players, NBA. There's only once or twice a year that they're actually playing multiple games over multiple days or weeks. Instead, it's like one significant break, another significant break, another. We forget that as high performers outside of the athletic world, if you go and you're burning for three or Four months. You need days off, and a day off means not. I did email for four hours, and then I kind of took time. Like, you need a break, a reset. That has nothing to do with work. That has nothing to do with. So, like many of you guys know, Denise and I, when we were broke, every 90 days, we stepped away for three or four. At the time when we were broke, that meant, like, a staycation but no work. Or we would go to a friend or we'd go over here. We would take a few days to reset for our relationship. But also because when you're pushing that hard and you're that smart, no one's brain can go all the time. So what I have here is a gentleman telling me he has exceptional performance and then variability. Now, we don't need to fix you psychologically. We don't have to talk about your childhood. It's not about, did your mom like you? It's about, hey, guess what? When you notice you're at the top crest of performance and you start feeling the dip, that is vacation signal. It is not. You're doing wrong.
You.
It's not. What did he do? I'm lazy.
Mnh. Mnh.
Guess what he did. He said, personhood versus practices. I'm lazy. Maybe I'm lazy. Who has the fear? Maybe I'm lazy.
Mm. Mm.
Maybe you had it exactly right. Maybe I'm burnt out. Maybe. Man, we are grinding at work, and I need that time. Amazingly, 80% of Americans, over a decade period of time, didn't even take 40% of their paid time off, not even 40% of their paid time off. So most people have the ability, but I'm storing it up. I'm saving it up. You're saving up for a crash. So I want you just. Now we're just gonna notice. It's gonna be like, oh, waheed. Look at me. I'm at the top. I feel myself losing. That means my mind's going, I can't handle it all anymore. And when I can't handle it all anymore, let's give away these things. Let's give away the planner today. Let's give away that reset. Let's just keep grinding through. And so we just kept grinding through. But what the mind was really saying is, hey, mental alert. We can't handle things right now. I need a break. The high performer goes, no, I don't need a break from anything. Let me just parse it out. No, you need a vacation. You need a time stop. Is this resonating in any way?
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, absolutely.
Yeah.
You got what I'm talking about?
Yeah.
Now we're gonna notice it. And you're an engineer, so you're gonna plot this graph. You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
You're gonna put this graph and you're gonna notice every day. You're gonna do your scorecard, you're gonna go, oh, wait, I'm getting a dip here. I don't like that. Time for a break. Let me take three days. Let me call in the boss, let me get some peers. Let me step away and completely refresh from the thing. Every great artist, they're famous for prolific output and then they disappear. Leonardo da Vinci, he'd do a major and he'd disappear for 16 weeks before he came up with another genius project that he really owned, that he really put himself into. So important for me to say this because, Waheed, we all believe that we have to be machines. Human doings versus human beings grinding it out all the time, being awesome. It's okay if you're not an awesome mom 24 7. We can't do that. You're going to have down days. You're going to need a break. You need the in laws or the partner or someone to step up and help with the kids. It's okay that you've been a leader and you built that business for five years and now you're terrified to step away for two weeks because you think it will all come crashing down. No, your health will come crashing down. And if your health comes crashing down, you're not going to miss three days or get to take four days off. You're going to be out for three, four, five months to recover. So we need not just a strategic reset during the day. We need significant time for WAD to recover and develop. He's getting this. Look at this guy. He's got it. All right, brother. Give him round five, man. You got this, Waheed. If you're ready to take your life.
To a whole new level, make sure you grab my book, High Performance Habits. How Extraordinary People Become that Way. It's available on Amazon right now, and when you order your copy, you're really supporting my channel and the message. And you're also getting a book that will reveal to you 20 years of my research into what. What is it that helps people go to a new level of success in their life? What does it really take? What habits are proven to help you reach long term success in your career, your health, your personal life, your relationships? It's called high performance habits. How extraordinary people become that way. It's available on Amazon right now.
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