Mashup: 4 Key Decisions to Make a Positive Change in Your Life

I tell people all the time, if you want to know if you appreciate your life, it's not just about the gratitude Journal. At the end of the day, like real reverence for life shows up in your time management. How are you really using your days on this earth? What did you really do last week? What did you do last month? Is the priorities you're setting in your life, like real. Hey guys, it's Brendan Burchard. And I'm filming today in Puerto Rico, which I'm so excited about. You can obviously tell it's an unbelievably beautiful place and it's really brought me back to some of the major decisions I've made in my life. Because as some of you know, my real journey in personal development began when I had a car accident in the Dominican Republican. Now I'm in Puerto Rico today, but for me, the magic of the Caribbean, the magic of the humidity, of the beach, of the sand, of the ocean, it makes me really reflective and definitely appreciate about life. Because look at this, it's beautiful, right? So I thought I'd share with you today my four major decisions in my life that really shaped the quality of my life. Because we're always asked that you guys on Instagram, DM, on our Facebook, here on YouTube is questions like, okay, Brendan, what made the difference for you in your own struggles, in your own life as you try to build your life and your brand and your career? I'm always asked about that and I always say, you know, it comes basically down to the same four decisions. The first decision is to have reverence for your life every single day. I know that sounds very personal development y hypey but you know, my story began with what I call mortality motivation. And that is when I was a 19 year old kid, I had that car accident and that inspired me. Even though it was like terrifying and like very scary and upsetting in my life. It taught me that, like, listen, hey kid, life is precious. You are not guaranteed tomorrow, you're not guaranteed next week, you're not guaranteed three months from now or three years from now. You don't get to pursue your dreams potentially for 10 or 20 or 50 years. Nothing is guaranteed. And if you understand life is precious, then you really want to drink from it, feel it, experience it, connect with it. And that was everything for me. That mortality motivation, the motivation to live life fully transformed my life. That decision to say, you know what, Every morning I wake up, I'm going to have reverence for this. I'm going to appreciate and be Grateful for this breath, for this day, for this moment, for the opportunities we all have every single day. I'm going to take that seriously. Sometimes when people hang out with me, they're like, man, you're kind of serious. You're intense. I'm like, yeah, because you know what? I know I might only have today. I understand that. And some people, they avoid that. And then one day they're 90 years old and they're like, oh, my God, I didn't live my life. Or one day you get sick, or one day you lose a friend, and then you go, oh, my gosh, life is precious. And all I would encourage you to do is remind yourself of that every day. Like, don't wait for something negative or traumatic or some tragedy to strike before you say, you know what? I'm so grateful to be alive. Because for me, operating my day with a reverence and connection to this blessed moment, irreverence and connection to life that we have, it makes me live each day in a more grateful and honoring place. And just imagine that. Imagine your Monday, your Tuesday, your Wednesday, your Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. If you began the day more grateful, more respectful of the life that you have, and more willing to use your time intelligently. Because part of motivation mortality is, hey, I better use my time wisely. I tell people all the time, if you want to know if you appreciate your life, it's not just about the gratitude journal. At the end of the day, like, real reverence for life shows up in your time management. How are you really using your days on this earth? What did you really do last week? What did you do last month? Is the priorities you're setting in your life like, real? Because what people do is they go through the motions or they react so much, and now they lived a decade, and it wasn't even their life. They were just doing what other people told them. They weren't on their own path. Because when you realize life is short, you say, I better walk my path. I only get this shot. This is a blessed day. I better take this time seriously. Reverence for life shows up in how you manage your time. And so that decision for me was, every day I will have reverence for life. And part of that is that gratitude. Part of that is respecting it, and part of that is making sure I'm on my path and I'm living my day, my life, not somebody else's life. Second, big decision that sort of flowed from that. And as serious, but maybe not as, like, intense, is the decision to bring the joy to Life. A lot of people, they wait for positive emotion. You know, well, when I get that promotion or when I make that money, or when the clients take me seriously, or when I get that following, or when something happens when I have the kids or when the kids leave, it's like, someday I will be happy. Someday something will happen, and all of a sudden, life be good. And a lot of people, they wait for some day, and that day never shows up. Because here's the dominant metaphor in my life that really shifted me and that is the power plant doesn't have energy. It generates energy. And what I mean by that is a power plant, what it does is it takes energy from one source and it transforms it, stores it, and then transmits it to a higher source. And so, yeah, maybe you are surrounded by negativity. Maybe you are surrounded by, you know, a lot of the vitriol of today's culture and the negativity and the hate and the people who don't support you. Maybe there is that energy. But your job is to take the energy of life that sometimes can seem negative and transform it. Ask yourself, how can I see this in a different perspective? How can I not take the energy they're giving me, but rather generate the energy I want to experience in life? You know, if you ever came over to my house or if I was throwing a party and you called up and said, hey, Brent, I'm coming to your house, what should I bring? And I will never be like, you know, bring wine or appetizers or something like that. I'm like, bring the joy. You show up to my house in a good attitude. I always tell people, be responsible for the energy you are projecting into this world. Because what most people are doing is they're being a reflection of the energy they feel in the immediate moment or a reflection of the energy that other people have been giving them for days, weeks. A lot of people, their energy is the energy they felt because, you know, their parents treated them a certain way and now they just, like, they reflect that. They're reflecting the energy that's been around them versus taking control of their own mind and saying, okay, what thoughts can I generate? What's my self talk? What are the intentions I want to have and what's the energy I want to create? I can't stand being around people who don't own their energy. You know, they get angry or upset about stupid little things, and you're like, hey, if life is short, you're going to really care about your energy and the people around you. Listen, the kids, your family, your friends, they want to see you have great energy and stop pretending that that's not a choice. Your energy over the long term is choice. Your attitude is choice. It doesn't mean that, you know, something bad that happens today can't make you upset. That doesn't mean that you can have the immediate emotion of, you know, discouragement, disappointment, anger, sadness. That stuff can come up in reaction to a moment or a circumstance. But if it's still here tomorrow, that is a choice. Now, some. You can't say that's true, Brendan. And I can tell you it isn't true for some people, right? If you have people with mental illness. Mental disorders, yeah. We can't go around saying, control your attitude because they have a mental illness. But if you don't have that, you have to realize, wait, I got a choice here. Because over the long term, we all can use our thoughts to create better energy. All of us, even those who have mental disorder, ultimately, when they have therapy, when they have training, the whole approach is to help them make better decisions for themselves and improve their own thoughts. Isn't it true we're always trying to improve our own thoughts? And some people, yes, when there's major psychological challenge, disorder, upset, yes, they might need support, they might need real support. Therapy, they might need real support, some biochemistry, alteration that will help them feel good medication, sometimes I get all of that. But I'm here to say, for most of us, over the long term, a week, two weeks, three weeks, four weeks, your attitude, your choice, your mood, your choice, your temperament, your choice, your personality, your choice, your energy in life, your choice. And either that choice is being made with will and intention and discipline and consciousness, or you're just going through the motions and reacting like a dog. It's so hard to tell people that. But isn't it true that sometimes we can be little brats, we can react to something and we get so upset about it and later on, like, why did I let myself get so upset about that? And notice what you said. Why did I let myself get so upset about that? And so I want to let you know, nothing I've said has been judgmental because, listen, I had a mental disorder. I had a brain injury. As many of you guys know, in 2011, I've been in parts of my life where I couldn't control my thoughts, my mind, my feelings. So I have no judgment to those who are really struggling with it because I needed support for it. And I'm that guy who's spent my entire career Saying, if you need support and you're struggling, get it. Go get a therapist. Go, go see a professional. Don't minimize that. We need to not have a stigma about getting support and help. I need to do that when I had my brain injury. But even through that process, you know what I learned? All you're ever going to be doing is working on mastering your mind. You can get all the support in the world, but you still got to do the hard work of mastering your mind and say, what are my thoughts? How did I react to that? How should I in the future react to that? Because shouldn't it be true, as we all mature and grow and get better in life, that we should become more masterful of our own emotions, our own mind, our own thoughts, our own feelings, our own energy? And so, for me, the major decision was bring the joy. I'm gonna be a person in any given situation who brings a positivity to that situation, even if everyone else is upset, everyone's negative. I'm gonna find some way to bring humor, make people feel comfortable, decrease people's stress, point out something beautiful. I'm going to be that person who, when you leave, like, that guy's pretty joyous. And some people say, well, Brendan, that's fake. You know, that's just fake. That's just not real. Well, you know what? Sometimes if you have to use your will and your mind to be happy, congratulations. Because, you know what is also not good is going through the motions in life and just feeling terrible all the time because you never made a choice to feel better. So if you got to, like, stir in your heart, in your soul, that energy, that's better than where you are usually. And some people say, well, that's fake. I'm like, hey, that's called trying to be better. That's called giving effort to life versus just taking what lands on you. And I think that's really powerful for me personally, choosing to be a person who takes and brings joy from the small things of life. Not waiting for some big, huge thing. But bringing the joy also means, to me, noticing, appreciating, being aware, being conscious of the beautiful moments we have. I mean, look at this view that I get to film here today with. Like, I'm so grateful for this opportunity because you all, most of you, I hope, know where I came from. You know, small kid from a small town in Montana, having really difficulty growing up, grew up with nothing. But I did grow up with two parents who loved us, trying to raise us four kids. And there was just blight and economic nothingness all around us. But my parents, I saw them try and I saw them try to make life fun for us. They brought the joy. And I forgot that at some stages in my life. And then after the brain injury, I thought, you know, I've got to take control of my own mind again and bring more joy in my life. So how can you bring more joy into your life? The third big, huge decision for me was to honor the struggle. That means as you're trying to climb that next mountain of success, it's going to be a harder journey than the first one was. But what most people do is they bemoan the struggle. They complain about the struggle, they hate the struggle. Every time there's a challenge, they're the person who's like, ugh. And they get discouraged by it and they quit. And they approach their day with dread because they have to do hard things. But successful people, because they have to do hard things, they honor that. They go, oh, that hard thing, that's going to make me better. This challenge I'm going through, that requires discipline and consistency. It's a struggle. But you know what? I will honor that because I know that will forge within me a better skill set, more mastery, more capability, another new level of ability to serve other people. That's what comes from honoring the struggle. Because, listen, so many people, they drive to work every day, right? They got to commute. And after 10 years of commuting, they are still complaining about it. I'm like, if you have to do something every day and you are still complaining about that, that means you have not tapped into this thing called consciousness. You have to be a person who, when you got to do something you don't want to do, but it is necessary. You bring the joy to it or you honor it. You go, okay, it's not what I wanted, but I'm going to use it to make me better. And I don't pretend that's easy because some struggles are really difficult, really real. You know, I have to have the same mindset in very difficult circumstances as I coach some of the highest performing people in the world. They lose a parent, they lose a family member. They didn't win the gold medal, they got silver. You know, their business didn't sell for the value they wanted. They got made fun of on the Internet, their company crashed. Like the drama I deal with every day. And I see the difference. I see the difference that some people, when they really struggle, when something messes up, they get so angry. And other people, they go all right, let me adopt a learning mindset here. Let me not get disappointed or discouraged or hate it or complain or bemoan it or blame other people. Let me just ask, what did I learn that will make me better for this journey? Because life is a journey, and it's going to get harder, especially if you want to give more, serve more, grow more, because the more ambitious you get to make a difference. Obviously, that's a new mountaintop every single day as you're trying to climb it. People will judge you. People hate on you. People will make fun of you. Your business will fail. Things won't work. If you can learn to honor that process. You don't quit if you hate the process. You quit because anything that hate is applied to quickly dies. So do not hate your struggles. Do not hate your challenge. Do not hate your circumstances now. Recognize them as the very things that are forging in you the ability to serve at the next level. Honor the struggle. And the fourth big decision I made in my life was to adopt a role model mindset. When I was a kid, 19, after my car accident, I decided I wanted to make a difference in this world. My car accident told me, like, live. That's the mortality motivation stuff. It taught me to love because I realized I wanted to connect with other people. And it taught me to matter, to try and make a difference in my life. Because if life is short, I want to know I did something with that. I helped other people. And one of the things I did after that was I started studying leadership. And I would read about, like, you know, servant leadership from Robert Greenleaf and all these great theorists and great leaders of the past. I started reading biographies of the great people of life. And as I read these biographies, what became really clear to me was something was going on in their mindset. They were different than other people in some ways. And, like, what was that difference? And one of the differences was that in some way, at some point, not always their whole life, but at some point in their life when everything changed, they adopted a role model mindset. The role model mindset says, how can I deal with life as my highest self? And how can I do it in a way knowing that I'm an example for other people? You might not think of yourself this way, but you are an example right now. So what are you an example of? Of, you know, are you an example of positivity? Are you an example of helping other people? Are you an example of someone who's committed to their dreams? Are you an example of somebody who's in good health. Are you an example of somebody who has compassion and empathy for other people? Are you being a role model for the kids, for the team, for the people who see you on social media? Are you a role model or are you just going through the motions? Because the ultimate killer of what we call the high performance experience, like living life at a heightened level, like what that next level thing is, the ultimate killer of that is just going through the motions. But high performers, successful people, they don't go through the motions. They say, how can I do this with excellence? Because other people are going to see this and I want to inspire other people. If you really want to inspire other people in your life, you must first adopt the role model mindset. It makes you filter your behavior through. Am I doing this well? Am I being a good example for them? Am I setting the tone? Is this the energy I'd love other people to adopt? When you're a role model, you're not a jerk. When you're a role model, you don't treat people bad. When you're thinking about being a role model, you spend more time with the kids, more time with the art, more time with other people. When you're trying to be a role model, you're thoughtful, you're intentional, you're joyous, you're grateful. Nothing about trying to be a role model is a jerk. It forces you to step into your highest and your best self. So think about your behavior over the last month. Have you been a role model for the kids, for the team, for the people around you? Or have you just been going through the motions? Because going through the motions is not going to give you your breakthrough. Trying to lead others, serve others, be an example of goodness in this world is important. As I'm filming this in Puerto rico in about 72 hours, some of my best friends in the world world are flying in. They're all inspiring human beings. And my only request of them in bringing them here will be something simple. I always say to people, whatever you do in your life, double down on your goodness. Whatever you do that serves good to the world, do more of that. Because that's where your real role model ness comes into play, is when you're doing what you do and you're doing it well. Well. But you know that it's contributing. It's good. Do more good work, give more goodness to the world. Because that's how the role models are always thinking. Role models like, how do I do good? How do I do excellent? How do I do good for the world. So my request to you, if any of these four decisions helped you, the first decision, having reverence for life. Taking life seriously. Operating the day from a place of mortality. Motivation. Knowing life is short so you show up. If this idea of bringing joy and being responsible for your energy and feeling joy, deciding to take joy in the small things in life and bring joy to your friends and your family and those you lead. If this idea of honoring your struggle instead of complaining about it, bemoaning it or seeing it with dread and honoring it as a process that will make you better, and this idea of being a role model, if that really serves you, if you can adopt that, I believe your life will change. Hey, everybody, it's Brendon Burchard. And today I'm talking about the four dumb things we say that prevents our own personal growth and professional excellence. Look, we all have internal thoughts that sometimes slow us down. I'm sure you know that. Sometimes you have negative thinking. Sometimes you say things to yourself that justifies, you know, bad behavior or laziness or distraction or. We all do. So there's no judgment to this except that, yes, it's kind of dumb. We say certain things that we just culturally get used to saying that we never really explore and those things hurt our personal development. And so what I want to do is dig down into these four things we say because they're dumb. And I know once you hear a little logic behind them, you'll say it's not worth saying that to myself anymore because it's not a true story. But. And it's only holding you back. Okay? So first and foremost, before we go, I want you to think about a big dream of yours, something that you really care about, something you really want to make happen, or a goal that you also have had for a while you've been trying to do it, but it's just not working out. Well, maybe you're telling yourself one of these four dumb things. Okay, so to share the first one with you, I'm going to move this aside. And here it is. I hear this one all the time. Brendan. I've tried everything. Whenever I hear that, I know I'm talking with a crazy person. I'm just teasing. Here's what I know. People often when they hear a new idea or you say, hey, have you thought about chasing that dream or pursuing your goal? They say, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've tried everything. And because they tried, one, two, three, maybe four things they say didn't work for me, that's not right for me. That's not possible for me. And those aren't true stories. As a high performance coach, often when I sit down with people, I talk about their dreams. They often say this to me, well, Brendan, I've already tried everything. And so I say to them, oh great, then show me the list. And they go, what do you mean? I say, show me the list. They say, what do you mean? I say, well, if you tried everything, then of course you would have had to keep a detailed list of what you tried, when you tried it, what results you got, what worked and what didn't work. If you didn't have a list like that, you couldn't ensure things that you know were, were like mutually exclusive. And if you couldn't tell things that were mutually exclusive, then you wouldn't know you tried everything. So have you ever told yourself that? I've already tried everything, didn't work. Think about how many times in your life you give up too soon. You're at like that 10 yard line, the touchdown's right there, but you're like, well, I've tried everything, I guess it's not working. And you back off. You know, we know from the psychology of success, it's those who persevere longer than others and maintain more resiliency in the face of challenge that succeed more. So if you ever hear yourself saying I tried everything, know that's a big bad story you're telling yourself and say, no, I haven't tried everything. Let me get some advice, let me ask some more people. Let me start keeping a trail of what I have tried so I can say, already did that, already did that, but I did this, but I didn't do it in that way. There's a lot of new things you can keep trying to keep getting ahead. Don't give up on your goals and your dreams just cause you tried four or five things. It's very true that often you're closer than you think, my friend. The second big thing, walk with me, is a big one, a huge one. And this one, people say to me all the time, sure, that works for him or that works for her, but that wouldn't work for me. Have you ever said that? Right? You, you have this big goal or your dream, you see your mentor, you see your dream, they're doing it, but you're like, oh, that wouldn't work for me because that's not my style, or I'm not like that, or she has this and he has that, and we false compare ourselves to others and we think they're so special. We still, in this culture today, we still pretend that there are some people who just have it and other people don't have it, right? We think, oh, well, he's just naturally good at that. She's just born to be that. But in everything that we study, those who achieve high performance in their life, they trained, they conditioned, they practiced. They sucked at first, but they were okay with that. They were cool with not being good. And then they just kept getting better and better and better and better and better. And now you watch them today and you're like, oh, wow, I could never be like that. But the reality is, you could. You just got to put in the miles. I share that with you. Just knowing how I started my career, I used to say that too. I look at these people on television or these big YouTubers, I'd see these people, you know, on big stages motivating people. And I thought, well, I'm not like that. Because me, I'm more of an introverted person in general when I started this career, and I've had to learn to be more and more extroverted to be good at all of this. But I'd say, well, I'm not like that. And the reality was, I wasn't like that. But I had a mission and I had a dream. And you should never make your mission or your dream bow down to your current limited strengths. Instead, you should say, if that's what I want, how could I rise up into that? How could I train? What knowledge, skill, ability do I need to learn and start learning right now so that I could have that dream, my friend? Cause you deserve it. So stop telling yourself you can't have it. I get all the time. Well, sure. That works for Brendan. On video, I'm like, what works for Brendan? Like, I came out of the womb like, hi, guys. I'm Ben. Richard. Like, no, this took me forever. I'm doing this extemporaneous in our new office. I don't know how it's gonna go either. I just trust in that process. And, you know, for me, my first video that I ever did was so horrible. Okay. My first year of videos, they were terrible. They were awful. They were uncomfortable. Some of you still don't even like what I'm doing now. That's fine. It's okay. I just know that I'm always trying to get better and better and better and grow into the person who I know deserves that dream. Who earns that dream? No one you're looking to. None of your heroes just came out of the womb and by natural birthright or innate talent got there. They usually outworked their peers. They usually showed up more often. They usually were more strategic in getting a good peer group around them to support them, to champion on, to push them. Notice I didn't say they had a better peer group. They knew that was important, so they developed it. Because we often say, well, yeah, that strategy works for him because, you know, he's got a big community. Or that strategy works for her because, you know, she's charismatic. No, if there's a strategy, you can deploy it. You can work the same thing. Would you get the same results as someone who has 10 more years of experience as you? Probably not. They put on some more miles. But look, no matter how small you start, start something that matters. It's the great Zig Ziglar who taught us, right? You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to become great. Never look at people and say, well, sure, she can. I can't, because that's defeatist. It is wrong, and it is holding you back, my friend. Let's go on. That's number what, one and two and here we go. I think this one is a huge one, and it kills people's lives all the time. The third big dumb thing people say is you just don't understand. And then they quit, just like that. When they say, I've tried everything, they quit. Well, she can do it. Sure, they quit. And then they say, well, they don't understand me. You don't understand me. And then they quit. Here's the thing. If you think people can't understand your journey, then your ego has gotten the best of you. And I do say that with all due respect, but, you know, there's 7 billion people alive on the planet right now. Somebody not only has gone through what you're going through, somebody. Somebody is going through what you are going through. To have any imagination that people can't understand you is a false story. The ego says that I'm so special, and either I'm so special because I'm so great, or I'm so special because I'm so diminished and so hurt. And these stories are stories we tell ourselves, and it ends up dividing us from people. It builds a wall to protect ourselves because we don't want to be vulnerable, or we're bitter because we have tried to communicate to people, but maybe our communication style wasn't so good. That was the case for me in college. Many of you know I was depressed and suicidal after the breakup of the first woman I ever loved. And I thought lots of people, I was like, they can't understand me. They've never had their heart broken like this. Not like this. And I told myself this story, and I kept saying, well, they don't understand. So I wouldn't tell my friends because I thought, well, they haven't been through a breakup like this. So I didn't tell them. Everybody can understand a broken heart. I've had to sit down with parents who lost their children to cancer and say to them, I understand this is difficult. And they'd say, well, you don't understand, Brenda. You don't have a child who's been lost to cancer. But we don't have to go through the exact same things to have human empathy and caring. See, by you not telling people what you really feel, what happens is they're not able to ask the questions to see what support you need. You're right. Maybe they can't help you, but they can understand and find someone who could help you. The more that you hold back, the more that you're going to be in trouble. When it comes to personal growth in silence, that's where suffering is. Soon as you say they don't understand, that's when you stop communicating. That's when you stop trying. That's when you wave everybody away. Because you know what people say when you say you don't understand, you know what you're less likely to do? Raise your hand and ask for help. Because you go, well, they don't understand. So now you're just carte blanche. No one can understand. I'm not going to try anymore. Screw them. They won't listen anyway. And you go in your little silo and all of a sudden you're not living life fully connected with other people who are the ones who could help you in the first place. Sometimes in our own belief that we're so special or so hurt or even so good or so skilled, and we think, well, they don't understand us. Whether you say that as a CEO, my team doesn't understand me, or you say it as a spouse, you know, well, my spouse doesn't understand me, or you say it to your family. My family doesn't understand me. That's just ego. Everybody can understand you now. You need to develop better communication style to help them understand. That's what I had to do. After I realized that maybe people could understand my depression, my heartache, I realized, you know what? Maybe I need to learn how to communicate in a different way so they could understand how what was going on in my life was really affecting me and so I could communicate in a better way what I needed for some help. That's all. Sometimes we just have to learn to communicate more what we're going through with people, to be more explicit, not drop hints, but just say, this is what I'm going through and this is what I need help on. And you know what? If you tell people that consistently, often enough, with an open mindset, you'll find you get more help in the world. So here we are. Three things. So far, I've tried everything. Brendan. Sure. That doesn't. That works for them, Brendan. But not for me. And you don't understand, Brendon. These things hurt your personal growth. And then there is one more big one. And this one, I hate it. All right, this is the one. I don't have many pet peeves in my entire life. I've been coaching professionally for 10 years now, and I've been deeply immersed in the research and psychology, personal development, neuroscience and behavioral economics and everything I can get my hand on to understand the human condition. This one, I'm not gonna lie. I can't understand it. I hate it when people say this to me and they say this all the time on my Facebook posts or my YouTube thing. I have to go calm down because it's so obnoxious and I see it steal so many people's lives. Here's what they say, though. Brendan. Sure. Easier said than done. Perhaps the dumbest reason ever not to try something, Right? That's what people say. Easier said than done. Sure. So I'll say something like, hey, you know what? Be more kind to your loved ones. And someone will post, easier said than done. I'm like, so you're not going to try, right? Hey, you know what? Try to develop a morning routine where you take, you know, five minutes for yourself. Easier said than done. I have children. I'll say, hey, you know what? Try to set goals that are a little harder. Easier said than done. You know, people can be disappointed. Easier said than done is a defeatist statement. And it's also kind of dumb. And here's why I say it's dumb. Think about this. Easier said than done. What isn't easier said than done, Right? Everything is easier said than done. Gee, honey, I'm gonna go get that ice cream in the fridge. Easier said than done. That'd be accurate, right? I'm gonna go pick up that paperclip. Easier said than done. Everything is easier said than done. So it's a stupid Universal thing that we say, but we often stop after it, and that's what I don't want you to do. So with all these things in mind, I know I'm playing fun a little bit that, you know, these things are dumb, but here's what I'd like to share with you. If you're struggling and you're trying to get ahead, examine them. Do you ever find yourself saying, I've tried everything that works for her you don't understand, or easier said than done. Because what would happen in your life if you just flipped it around a little bit? What would happen instead of saying, I've tried everything you said, what else could I try that would help me feel fully engaged and more likely to progress? That's all. What else could I try that would help me be fully engaged and progress? What else? And start keeping that list. What if instead of saying, sure, she can do that works for her, but wouldn't work for me, what if instead you said, you know what? I see that working for somebody else, let me try that and practice and get better and better and better and better. What if instead of saying, you don't understand, what if you said, hey, I'm struggling right now. I'm wondering if I could share with something. I'd love to see if you could understand or could give me some advice right now. And you entered the situation with humility. And what if instead of saying, that's easier said than done, you said, let me try that? Because I bet that might be effective. Look, we can all be pessimists in life. I mean, it's easy to be that today. There's a lot of negativity. There's a lot of just disturbing information out online. We see it every day. It's why I spend so much time and my team spends so much time delivering to you guys great personal development as much as we can. And I appreciate all of your support of my books, my online courses, our 5 million people here on Facebook, our unbelievable community on YouTube, our. Our blog readers, everybody who sees us out at seminars. Or maybe you'll see me out on tour one day this year. I'll be out on the road quite a bit. But we do all of that exactly to counter this negative thinking. So I'd love for you to just take a few moments, maybe tonight, and just ask yourself, are there some things I've been telling myself in my head that have been holding me back and what if I flip them? You know, often we'll say to ourselves, what if this negative thing Happens. What if we asked, what if this positive thing happens? I know that sounds so silly and you might be saying, well, Brandon, you're just teaching positive thinking, but I would be honored if that's what you thought I was doing. I think, I don't know, how do you feel about it right now? I think the world needs a little bit of positive thinking. I think people need a little bit of that belief in themselves. I think they need to believe that they can keep at it, keep going. I think right now we all need a reminder sometimes. You know what, you're stronger than you think and the future holds good things for you. How do you develop the action mindset, but actually also make it a discipline? Here it is. First thing you've got to adopt. Well, there it goes. Is your 30 minute daily block. People tell me all the time, brennan, I got this dream or this goal. I'm like, great, what 30 minute period of day are you gonna work on it today? What do you mean? You said you have a big goal, right? Yeah. Big idea, right? Yeah. Okay, show me. When's the 30 minute block that that thing gets? Today. It's a new idea you say, right? Yeah. Okay, where is it? Is it 1:30 to 2? Is it 4 to 4:30? Is he gonna check it at 5 right after work till 5:30, then get on the commute a little later. Like when. New ideas must have new blocks of time. Write it down. New ideas must have new blocks of time. If you got a new idea someday, someday, big dream and it doesn't land in the calendar, at least listen, daily, 30 minute daily block of time. Of course you're not going to get momentum. It's got to be. Look, if you won't give something 30 minutes a day, it don't matter to you. Just be honest. Like any good parent will tell you this. Like if you don't spend 30 minutes with your kids a day, I mean, good luck in having that connection. Good luck in forging that future, Good luck in helping that person feel loved and supported. I mean, if something is important to you, you give it time. Is it true? So if this idea is important to you, immediately mindset. This is what I immediately do. 30 minutes. And if it's a completely new idea, it's got to get at least 30 minutes. If I want it to actually come true. And it's important from the time I set the idea, the next day it gets 30 minutes. Big new idea, must do it. If it's important to me, the next day it gets 30 minutes. Not four years from now, like, right now, I have a big partnership I'm working on. Like, it completely came into my life, totally interrupted my life. I don't have any time. But it's important. I found 30 more minutes a day. Right? 30 more minutes is easy to find for everybody. People don't think they can. It's possible. I just had a friend and I get in a huge argument over lunch about this. Not Everybody can find 30 minutes. And I'm like, who can't find 30 minutes more a day? Like, show me. Which. A little more discipline, a little more planning and preparation. Who can't find 30 more minutes a day? We. Well, I'm busy, and I have all these things you don't understand. I'm like, okay, well, walk me through your day. Well, I have to get up. I gotta get everything, get the kids ready for work. I gotta get in the car. I gotta commute. That commute's an hour every single day. I can't take away that. I gotta do this and this and this. And I'm like, well, what if you didn't drive? What do you mean? Well, what if you didn't drive the car so that your focus and intention could be doing something else? Well, I gotta do the commute. I don't know. I've noticed that a lot of cars have a passenger seat and some of them even have a backseat. And if you sit in one of those, you don't have to do this. And I just got you an hour a day. So many people are so. They believe so deeply that they are managing their time so great. I'm like, no. Most people have so much free time, they have no idea. It's that they are distracted and unprepared or addicted to consuming that they're losing little pieces. And especially here in the United States, you guys have heard me rail on this. The average American, four hours of television a day. Don't tell me you don't have 30 minutes a day. I don't know anyone who can't find 30 more minutes a day for a great new idea that can change their life. You got a new idea that can change your Life? Find your 30 minutes every single day. Number two, remember the first output rule. First output rule says this. You've got a big new dream, big new goal, big new idea. Don't think that you have to do what we've all been taught, which is begin with the end in mind. Because sometimes you don't know what the end in mind is. But you know, the first step so what I tell people is like, I got a big new idea. I go, great. What's the first output that you would have to create on that immediately? What's like the first output that would start you on the path? I don't know. Okay, figure that out. First step. First output, right? First step is not the research. What's the first output? Let me give you an example. When I began my career, I said, one day I'm gonna do video courses. And in mind, you can do all my online courses. That was the big idea. I, Brendon Burchard, am going to do online courses. Guess what I didn't do? I didn't say, well, I better figure out the whole curriculum for all the courses for the rest of my life. Begin with the end in mind. Didn't do that. I said, what's the first step that would allow me to start doing that? Okay, first step, get in front of camera. Teach and post it on the Internet. That's the first output. One teaching video on the Internet. So I went and I got my stupid little at the time, flip video camera. Some of you guys know about those. Got a flip video camera. I duct taped it to a box. I put on my cleanest shirt at the time and, and I stared at the camera and I taught and I pulled off the flip video camera and I spent four hours uploading it on the Internet. You remember that? Probably not, but you remember that? Yeah. Upload, upload, upload, upload. And then it wouldn't play because it wouldn't stream fast enough. But I spent the time, the first output to me, building an online course empire. One video. What's your first output? Do that now. That's how you maintain momentum. The reason people don't stick to their habits is because they're waiting to create the output someday. I'm like, what's the first output? Do it. That's the thing to work on right now. When you got that 30 minute daily block, work towards that first output. Because you get the first output, you got real momentum. You get the first output, your dream, your idea is realized, it's tangible. It's like, ooh, I did that thing. First output. If you don't know the first output of what you have to create, you don't even have a dream. You got, you got, you got. You don't even have a fully thought out idea. First output, make it, do it, create it, post it, do the thing. That's it. I want to write a book, Brendan, but I don't know what the whole Book is, I'm like, great. First output, first page, write it. What do you mean? I don't know what the book is? Write the first page, but I don't know what the book is. Write the first page. First output would be the first page of the book, right? Write the first page. But I don't know what the five chapters are. I don't write the first page. See, you don't have to know the whole picture. First step, do the first output. Because you get that first page done, you'll probably get that next page done. You probably get the next page done and you'll start getting clarity of the project. A lot of the creativity of life comes in motion, not beginning in speculation. Okay, next up, number C. 90 day challenge. I can't believe how many people have a big dream or big goal and they don't set up their own 90 day challenge. Like, okay, what's your first output? Good job, appreciate you, but you got 30 minutes every single day in 90 days. Where are we? 90 days, 3 months, let's go. Because see what most people are, they're scared to commit to the bigger idea and dream. And I go, oh, don't commit to the first big idea. Dream not for life. Just like you won't ruin your life forever. Don't commit to your new idea or dream forever. I need 90 days. Give me 90 days, man. Commit to that thing 90 days and get at it for 90 days. Reevaluate after 90 days where you're at. Don't think. See, most people don't take an action because they think, well, I'll have to do this action forever. Just like they worry I'll be ruined forever. There's no forever. There just isn't. There's just now. None of us are guaranteed anything. So if what we have is right this moment and we're looking into the future and we're working towards that, Good job. In 90 days, where are you? That's it. What'd you do in 90 days? Did you lose five pounds? Great. You don't have to say, I'm going to be completely life transformed. I'm going to have six pack abs and still drink pina coladas on the beach with 40 people and be, no, no, no, no, no, dude, lose five pounds, you got 90 days. Go like, just set the 90 day challenge for yourself and get at that and then worry about the next series of goals after that. So if you've got a big idea or a dream and you're really committed to it, commit to a 90 day challenge. And what does that mean for you, specifically? What's going to happen at the end of 90 days? How you think, how you feel, how you move, what you achieve, what outputs are created. Get really clear on those types of things. You'll be so happy you did. Without these things, there is no idea into action. There is no momentum. It's why you didn't stick to your habit, because you didn't give it 30 minutes a day. You didn't stick to your habit because you didn't even know what you were supposed to do. You didn't stick to your habit because you didn't at least set a time period that was realistic for yourself, that was doable. D. You got to have your drop list. There is no new idea in your life without a drop list of things to stop doing a drop list. I'm dropping these things. I am not doing these things. I'm saying no to these things. I'm getting this off the agenda. I'm letting that responsibility go. It's the things you aren't going to do that help you do the things that you're going to do. So you got to spring clean a little bit. If you got new dreams in your life, spring clean, what are you going to stop doing? I'm very, very, very disciplined about this. For me personally, I have one of my own personal practices. On the 1st of every month, I make my drop list. Every month. Not once a year, every month I go, okay, this month, what do I need to drop? Because inevitably, I'm moving so fast. I pick up new things. I'm doing all the time. Some new idea, new dream, new thought. Because I'm trying to innovate. I'm trying to be up front, I'm trying to lead, I'm trying to change things. And then what ends up happening is throughout the month, other people also do what other people give you responsibilities, give you ideas, give you programs. They're adding onto your plate. All month long, you're collecting a bigger and bigger plate, right? Some months I start, I go, okay, well, this month I'm gonna do these five new things. And the end of that month, I realize, you know what? I'm not gonna be able to maintain five. I'm gonna drop two of them. I'll stick with three. But I can't do all five. That's a drop list. Without a drop list, I have no idea how you can keep adding new things. Make sense? Some of the biggest breakthroughs in our life is when we just stop doing the things that we know or aren't right for us. Next up, big important one, the Friday friend status call. Everything that we know from goal setting comes back to sociology. If you don't have someone you're doing something with actively, if you don't have an accountability partner, you don't have a coach, you don't have a friend you go to lunch with, or someone you talk it through, then the odds of that happening for you are so low. Because you know what? We're social beings. We need processing time with other people. And the more processing time we have, usually the more progress we get. Right? It's why therapy is so powerful in unlocking people or coaching so powerful in unlocking people. It's like, oh, I'm processing. Oh, I'm getting distinction, I'm getting more progress. You need that Friday friend status call. If you got a big new goal or dream. All I want you to do every Friday at the end of the day, literally 5 minute, 10 minute, 15, 30 minute call, whatever it is, pick it up, call your friend and say, I did this this week, struggled with this. This worked. That went well. You now you go, how did you do? And just. You got one person in your life every week you're talking about momentum with, I don't care if it's your mom. I prefer this as a human. So not the cat, but a human that you, every single week you talk through things with. Like, where are you? I don't care if it's the librarian. I don't care if it's your social worker. I don't care if it's your brother. I don't care who it is. It can be the stranger across the street. Don't talk to strangers if you're PG13. But everybody else have that conversation and just on a Friday go, hey, man, this is where I'm at. Because if you won't do that, I promise, if you don't socialize your learning, you will not achieve your dreams. You must socialize. What am I learning? Where am I at? How's it going? What am I struggling with? You got to ask for help, but you need a consistent basis. Big dreams require weekly check ins. Write it down. Big dreams require weekly check ins. So who's going to be your weekly check in? Accountability coach, friend, mentor, who every week check in. And if you're like, well, I don't know anybody, everybody hates me. You know what? Go on your Facebook page every Friday at 5 and go, this is what I learned this week. This is what I tried. What did you guys try? And all the people who make fun of you, delete them. And everybody else say, good for you. So easy. Life's very simple. Next, create motivation triggers. When I walked in this door today, it's the same when I walk in the doors of my conference rooms, when I'm doing my seminars, that when I usually my doorway trigger, meaning that's what a motivation trigger is. A trigger is something physical or tangible happens, and you attach either a statement or an action to it. Okay. Trigger is something tangible that you say or do when something else happens. So when I walk through a door, and that's every door of my life, I walk through a door, my mind almost always says, because I've just conditioned it over and over and over doing this. I walk through the door, my mind says, I am a happy man entering this space, ready to serve. I'm a happy man entering the space, ready to serve. It's been since I was like 20 years old one, because I always want to remind myself I'm happy. I have so much to be grateful for. So do you. So how are you reminding yourself that you're grateful, that you're happy, that you're good? And then I remind myself I'm entering the space, ready to serve, not hoping to serve, not maybe one day I'll deserve to serve. I'm ready right now. Whatever. I know I believe in my ability to figure things out. I'm ready to serve now. I don't need permission. I don't need more money. I don't need more team. I'm ready to whatever I got. I'm ready. Let's go. I don't need new things, more things, better things, tons of things. I'm ready to serve right now. Let's go. I'm not ever waiting to provide service to the world, ever. You don't have to have the big stuff, the fancy stuff. Just go. I didn't have big, fancy cameras and lights and fancy, big flip charts when I started this. It was me in a really dirty shirt with the thing, the buttons too hung open. Like, you know, it's like. It was so nasty and gnarly and bad. It was awesome. And I was ready to serve. You don't have to have everything. I was watching this documentary recently on Usain Bolt, one of the greatest. Well, he is the greatest sprinter of all time, right? And you see the scene of him and he's doing sprints in a field with, like, this sort of little belt tied around his waist, tied to a chain, tied to. We would call it a weight Sled, but you could barely call it that. A little metal sled where you put on like, you know, weights, like a 45 pound weight from like lifting. And it's like. So he would sprint with this little things. When you go to the NFL or I work with my, you know, my major teams, they usually got, they got the fancy sleds, these longer sleds that glide when you take off, that release. Proportionate amount of tension along with the weight as you speed up. Like very fancy contraptions. Now this dude, the best ever is down in Jamaica in a hot field with this huge belt on with like one coach, not 12 coaches, one coach standing there next to him. He ties this thing and when he takes off, this thing is bouncing along behind him. It's like the. Just like you're like. And he's the world's best. Because he's not waiting to have everything to train. He's training. I'm not waiting to have everything to serve. I'm serving so many of my people. Well, one day when I have a following, I'll post some stuff. I'm like, start posting stuff now. One day when I'm ready, I'll put myself. No, there is no one day to be ready. You're ready now. Go. It is a mindset you must have. You're ready to go. So that's one of my triggers. Walk through a door. I'm entering the space as a happy man, ready to serve. Let's go. That's just one trigger. I have all sorts of other triggers. I have different doorway triggers. When I walk in my house, I say something a little different to myself than when I walk in my office. But other triggers I have when a door closes in a car, every time a door closes in a car, I say something else to myself. When I walk into my office, I take a first action that triggers momentum for me. Like you need to have first actions or space triggers that help you stay your best. They're ultimately all geared towards one thing. How can you remind yourself to be at your best? And how do you use physical objects, time periods, situations to get yourself there? That's the question. That's your job. These are motivation triggers. Because if you're not triggering yourself, the world's doing it for you. And if the world's doing it, you know what the world's going to trigger you towards? Angst, outrage, distraction, consumption. It's not going to trigger you towards you being your best self. So if you didn't maintain your habits this year, go on my YouTube channel and type in the word, you know, type in the power of habits and you'll see a video that will teach you how to set some more of those examples. Right? If you look in a mirror, you should have a mirror trigger. See your reflection of yourself. Say something to yourself. I know that sounds like just like positive thinking kind of stuff. And you know what it is, because what's the alternative? Stupid thinking, negative thinking, scarcity thinking. You need to have a little bit more triggers set up to make you work. And sometimes if it's not just you, get somebody else to do it, get a coach to do it, a mentor to do it, a friend to do it. But you need to be triggered to be your best. How are you currently triggering yourself to be your best? Many of you know you've been with me for years. You know, we kind of now everybody does it, but we were the first one to do it. When the smartphone came out and the first alarm was available to be set a label. I created this training and put it out about saying, hey, use this alarm label on your phone to send yourself reminders to tell you to be awesome. Put your three words in here that pop up and remind you who to be. Use this as a trigger to be your best instead of a box of consumption. Because this can be a weapon for good or a weapon that takes you into distraction, but it's up to you. Just like the rest of life, self reliance, it's up to you.