Mashup: Leadership Principles for Massive Success in Any Field

Leadership's fundamental principle is that people support what they create. If you want people to follow you, they must create with you. They must feel enabled, trusted, empowered, autonomous, capable, rewarded for participating in the journey. My biggest belief, my biggest teaching in all of leadership, and it's five simple words. People support what they create. People support what they create. This is the defining leadership principle of my life. Every time I work with a leader and they're frustrated with the co worker, they can't get the team to be motivated and energized. The downline isn't performing, the upline isn't listening. We got this problem where, you know, you can't mobilize a movement, or you started a political action committee and it didn't stick, or you started your nonprofit and no one contributed. It always comes down to a fundamental misperception about this topic of leadership. Leadership's fundamental principle is that people support what they create. If you want people to follow you, they must create with you. They must feel enabled, trusted, empowered, autonomous, communicated, capable. Rewarded for participating in the journey in what we'll call the vision today, right? If they don't have any hand in shaping it, and if they have no reward, autonomy or trust in participating in it, they got no skin in the game. They got no reason to be enthusiastic, excited, hardworking, excellent. So what happens? Well, as you see around the world, it's like we have these command and control old models from, you know, the past, these dictatorial ways of leading where it was like, do this, do this, do this, you know, bury like, you know, early 1800s stuff that should have been done by the 1950s, but people are still learning. And so you have this situation where a lot of people still think of like, oh, I have positional leadership, I'm the boss, or I'm this leader. Everyone needs to only do these things and it becomes a one way street or it becomes something where the leader doesn't have the connection with everybody else because no one has a part in it. They can't play yet, they don't believe in it yet. Even if they like you, even if they think you're an okay person, even if you had great successes in the past, if you don't get them collaborating to create where we're going, how we're going there, and how we'll be together, they're not interested. They'll pretend they'll take the paycheck, but they'll be gone in six months. Or when the tough times hit or the stock price goes down, they're bailing, man because they're thinking, you know what? I'm not part of this, I'm not part of this. I'm telling you, we live in a participative global culture now where people want a voice. And so much of leadership is understanding where to open conversations, to allow diverse voices to come in, have a perspective on something. Even if you or the leaders maintain that decision making authority, which we'll talk about later, the active participation and enrollment of conversation is the difference maker. And your job as a leader, listen to this, is to hold that space, to set the standard, the expectation, the structure for that space for other people to participate. Now I know some of the leaders out there like, yeah, but that's super hard, the timing of that and when. And some people have a voice, but they don't know what the hell they're talking about. They're not an expert, Brandon. Why would I listen to them? And oh my gosh, does this mean more meetings for me? Don't worry, this isn't about you doing more meetings. Just to listen casually. We'll get to those practices later. The principle I want you to write down. People support what they create. The five most important words in all of leadership. People support what they create. If you get that principle, we can change the world. When you don't get that principle, you don't get the followers. Now with that I want to introduce a concept, you know, that I've literally been teaching for 21 years now. I don't like the word followers. I don't like the word leaders versus or the position leaders, Leaders versus followers. If you've studied with me before, I really believe you have leaders and instead of followers you have collaborators. It's just a different way of defining things. Unfortunately, in our world, because of popularity and ego, when someone follows you on the Internet, it all became about a one way street. And so now we've ingrained in people's human behavior this idea that I broadcast my world and you should follow it. That's coming to organizations. I tell you what to do and you should follow it versus hey, we're co creating this organization together. We're co creating this team. You're going to have some people on your team who are super participative and other people, they were never given autonomy or trust or a voice and they're super smart. But you're not getting enough from them. They just need to be enrolled to participate in a different way than the person who's always had the benefit of being in communities where they were heard. We live In a world right now where so many people have never actually been heard, then we expect them to perform as high performers in their organizational settings. It's like, oh, you have to be aware of these things. Some members of your team and some members of your family haven't been heard, haven't felt heard, haven't been allowed space for it. And I don't just mean listened to, I mean being allowed space to make decisions together about what's important. Take a look at the most critical members of your team. Maybe this is your executive team or the most important people in your life, your family. And look at each of them individually through this lens. It's like, oh, has this person been co creating the experience with me? Have they been active in that or passive in that? And not as a judgment to them like a one, they're bad. It's that, oh, if they are a one, I as a leader need to create a process, a rhythm, a meeting, an opportunity for this person to get some decision making authority, to establish some trust, if anything to be heard more in meetings. Maybe this person is never called on, they never get the opportunity. And you're going to like, oh, I'm going to be aware this person has not been participating and I need that participation from them if we're going to have long term success and we need to participate together. So let me have that. So I'm always thinking about that of and when I work with leaders and I coach them and I performance, it's always about, okay, let's work through your team, let's walk through this principle and let's talk about each of these critical team members and do they feel empowered to be part of the process because people support what they create is ultimately people being part of the process because guess what, when they're part of the process, they've helped come up with decisions. They're working towards something they had a hand in, they fight for it, they stay focused on it, they have ego and decision making in that process and they want to protect it. When someone has an idea, you know what they want to do, they want to own that, they want to protect that, they want to perpetuate that, they want to ensure that that idea lives. When people are allowed to participate, better ideas come up, people have more buy in, people stay committed. Over the long term, humans become more resilient themselves. It's important, it's so important. So please take, take an active role in this day. Score yourself, be honest and think about this and how you can amplify this. If all you did is understand this principle, and you practice this principle at the deepest levels. You would so far surpass almost everybody you're working with, I promise. Here's how to do great network in the room. So let's put you in the room, right? You've been invited to an event where a lot of the movers and shakers are there or people who could be in your group or your downline or could become clients or are peers who you really respect. What's the best way to start that first conversation? My first piece of advice for you in networking is to always use the context to your advantage. Use the context. What does that mean? It means the opening line and the opening conversations to you, the that are 100% available all of the time is getting the other person talking about where they're at, right? If you're all at a particular type of networking event in a particular kind of building, well, obviously you can talk about that area of town, you can talk about that building. If you're there at a symphony, you get to talk about the symphony, right? The context itself gives you so much conversation points. But what I want to do is actually give you my super secret, super famous line that will do it for you. That is so powerful. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to say to them, okay, are you ready for this? I want you to say to them, let's say you're at a. I'm just going to use an example. You're at a fundraiser. You're at a fundraiser. There's a lot of people there. And at this fundraiser, you have the ability to meet some people. That first person you walk at the fundraiser, what do you say? What would you say to them? First line out of your mouth. First line out of your mouth. What would you say to them? We want you to think about it. Would you go to them and give them your elevator pitch? Probably not. You don't know anything about them. You can introduce yourself, introduce your name. That's helpful. But do you introduce your name and then tell them what you do? However the chit chat happens and chitchat is usually contextual, right? That's why I say use the context. Chit chat can be, you know, oh, this fundraiser is really amazing. You're at a fundraiser. This fundraiser is really amazing. How did you hear about it? Here we are, a whole group of people together. It's the easiest first thing, hey, here we are at the symphony. How'd you hear about it? Hey, here we are at this networking event. For multi level marketing. Hey, here we are. This multi network marketing thing, how'd you hear about this company? How did you hear about it? Is the easiest entry. Oh, I got this person introduced me or I heard about it this way, my friend. Like starting with the. That's why I say use the context. Ask. How did you hear about this very event we're at? We're at the symphony, we're at the fundraiser, we're at the network event. How'd you hear about this thing? Oh, my buddy, so and so Pete. Oh, cool. Why did you want to come here? That next question. Why did you want to come? I know the director. My friend's in the downline. Oh, I want to come with this. How did you hear about it? Why did you want to come? That why did you want to come? Is often a jumping point in asking what they do, right? Oh, how'd you hear about it? Why did you want to come? Oh, that's interesting. What do you do? Oh, well, I'm in this area. I'm in that area. Okay, cool. That is the easiest chit chat way to get into a conversation. How'd you hear about it? Why did you want to come? What do you do? Simple, simple, three steps, right? So I always. That's always easy for me. Always easy for me. But then I don't like to spend too much time chit chatting from there. That's as much that I'm going to chit chat. I don't want to talk about the weather, I don't want to talk about the punch. I don't want to gossip. My next favorite question, this is like the big four, I call it sometimes. How did you hear about it? Why did you want to come and what do you do? Next big question I love to ask is, you know, there's a lot of really successful people here. What do you think made you the most successful in what you do? And it's complementary, right? What do you think made you successful? When you think about your career, your life, you know, what do you think are three things that made you successful? I'm just curious. I loved asking people that. I kind of collect people's success stories, like what made you successful? And they're like, oh, well, gosh, I had mentors. My mom was like this. Oh, I practice these habits. Oh, well, I worked really hard and whatever they share now the relationship really deepens. Oh, it made me successful. You know, I had great parents. Oh, tell me about them. Tell me about them. I had great mentors. Huh. Who's the number one mentor. Oh, you know, I guess I just had a lot of doors open for me and I had a lot of luck. Well, what was like the biggest door that over opened for you? Whatever they say, when you say, hey now, notice the context here. There's a lot of successful people here. What do you think made you successful? Whatever comes out, just dig down another two layers. Well, my parents. Tell me about them. Who's most, you know, whatever that comes from there. My mentor. Oh, who is the most important mentor? What's the best value they ever taught you? If you get someone talking about what made them successful? Have you ever noticed people like to talk about themselves? I'm sure you all read Dale Carnegie's how to Win Friends and Influence People. His whole thing is smile at other people and ask them about themselves and use their name. I think that was the big three things, right? So simple, right? Smile, ask them to talk and use their name a lot. I mean, listen guys, it doesn't have to be that hard but I promise you, if you go in weaponized with this information, comment, use the context. Huh? How'd you hear about it? Why did you want to come here? What do you do? And lots of successful people here, what made you successful? Do that with one person. Then when that natural break in the conversation comes, guess what they're probably going to do? After you've asked those types of questions, they'll ask you the same or you share like they share. I was successful because these things, then you get to share what made you successful. Oh, I totally get that. You know, for me it was just like this. But they'll ask. Most people will ask. I'd say 80% of them will ask back, oh well, what do you do? What made you successful? And now you started the conversation in recognition that you're both successful, that everything's good. Well, what if the person I'm talking to isn't successful and they're like, well I'm not successful and be like, oh well, what's been the biggest obstacle you faced so far? That's it. What's been the biggest obstacle you faced so far? When you find that out, you start learning about the person and seeing where you can add value. And I also know some of you have the self perception problem where you don't have the confidence yet. So you're like, well when they say well what made you successful? And you're like, well I'm bankrupt, I'm living on my friends couches and if you think I'm making fun of You I'm not. That was my real story. So I was still out there networking. I was bankrupt. I was literally living. My friends wouldn't even give me the dignity of their couch. They gave me a half inflated airbed on the side of the, you know, the little nook between the TV and the wall. You know, at that point they're like, our couch is too valuable for you, Burchard. So it's a true story. I was networking even then, and I remember when some person saying to me something similar. It's like, oh, well, you must be successful being in this room. And I said, you know what? I feel like I'm successful because I'm a grateful person and I just want to add value to people. And I kind of feel like I'm on my starting journey of that. Any tips for the new guy? And that humility, if you're talking with somebody who's more successful and asking them for tips in your genre, in your career, in your industry is so valuable. And I always said to something like that, I was like, any tips for the new guy? Just humble, like, wow, you're so amazing at what you're doing. Any tips for the new guy? They'd always say the same thing. Keep working at it. Keep believing in yourself, work hard. They'd always say the same things and be like, that's really good advice. What do I say with that? I wouldn't. Most people, when they ask someone for advice, do you have any advice for me? What they usually do is their next move is you want to ask them for something, oh, that's good, you know, can I ask you a favor instead? When they say, you know what, here's yeah, I can give you some tips. Tell you what, work hard, be grateful, keep at it. The first thing I say to them is like, those are really good. Who taught you? Those who taught you? X is one of my favorite questions to ask somebody. When someone ever gives me advice, I'm like, I love that. Who taught you that? Sometimes I say, I learned it through, you know, hard knocks, kid. Most of the time they're like, you know what? I had a mentor. How would the mentor teach you? When you get someone talking about what made them successful or who their mentors were, it's a whole different relationship than everyone else. They're talking about what the weather or what that woman's wearing over there. Don't gossip and don't chit chat. The most amount of chit chat I will allow for you is, how'd you hear about this? Why did you want to come? Anything outside of that? I really believe if it doesn't lead you towards any observing successful people here, acknowledging them that they're a successful person, asking what they're doing or what has made them successful, I think you're missing huge opportunities, and I think all of you will be stunned when you actually put this into play. Like, I know you can be writing down in journal right now, you're like, yeah, yeah, Brandon, sounds good. But when you actually do them and you leave that party or you leave that networking event, you're like, whoa, that was a whole different conversation. And why do I ask you to do this? Relationships and the conversation of success tend to be things that are very personal for people. It's about their dreams and their relationships. So guess what? You talked to person number one, and you talked about what made them successful. Maybe you got some tips from them. Maybe you learned about who made them successful. You talked to person number two, three, four, and five. When you go to introduce person number five to person number one, you get to say something very honoring of them. When you introduce person five to number one, you say, hey, person number five, I want you to meet person one. We just met. But what I love about person number one is that, like me, they had a mom that taught them about life. Or what I love about person number one is, you know, they became very successful in this pharmaceutical thing they were just telling me about. And they really became successful because they felt like they had this amazing, like, daily habit. Would you tell them about the daily habit? Would you tell them about your mom? Would you tell them about this successful thing? You already have an introduction, and I want you to write down this phrase. Person number five, meet person number one. What I love about person number one is when you do that, person number one's like, he listened. Wow. This person absolutely listened. This person is honoring me in front of another person right now. That's amazing. And then if you can engage him and say, hey, person number one, you know, reason I brought person number five over here is because I thought they had the similar value or the similar experience or they're successful. And what I love about them is. And all you are doing is you are linchpinning these two together based on what you loved and respected about what they told you about their success journey or their relationships. Got it? I'm always listening for what's their success journey and who's important in their relationships. If they honored their mom, their first teacher, there's something like that. So let me give you an example. Remember I told you about my teacher Linda Belew a minute ago? If you and I are at a party now and you come up with another person you've met at that party and say, hey, Brendon, I want you to meet person number five, Sarah here. Don't say person number five. That might be weird, but say, brendan, I'd like you to meet Sarah. You know what, Sarah? One thing I love about Brendan is, you know, as he's striving for success, he's still thanking his teachers from 25 years ago. Brendan, you have that story about Linda Blue. Tell Sarah about it. I'm going to be like, you are awesome. Yes, please let me talk about Linda Ballou. She's important in my life, and now I'm gonna have that connection with Sarah. So I'm gonna tell Sarah about Linda Ballew, and then I'm gonna say, what to Sarah? Did you have any important teachers in your life? And she's gonna say, oh, yes, my fifth grade teacher. So and so. And we're gonna have this great conversation. And when we leave at night, we didn't talk about the weather or the punch bowl. I'm gonna remember forever her teacher. She's gonna remember forever my teacher. Now we and you were the linchpin to unite us in a beautiful memory about someone who made a difference in our life. Are you following the different strategy here? It's such a different experience. This is why you were in coaching. This is high performance experience. There's a different experience in life. It's sometimes so simple and subtle, but your job is getting people to share about their success journey and the relationships that were important to them. And then you get to connect people that way. It's everything. Next up, what else can you do? I think asking people about their priorities is everything. Is everything. I mean, I might only be three, four, or five minutes into a conversation, and I'll say something like, you know what? It's mid February. What's most important to you to finish this month? That's a priority, right? What's most important to you this month? Or if it's the first of the month? Or always just use the date or the time or the season. Hey, you know, we're in the last quarter of the year. Like, what are you trying to do by the end of the year? Or, hey, you know what? It's Valentine. What's most important to you right now about your relationship? Right. Whatever you like. Use context. Use the time of the year and ask them what's most important to you in X, whatever it is you know you shared with me, you're trying to build schools in this other country. What's most important to you about making that happen? What's the most important thing to you about making that happen? What's the most important thing that you need to do in the next three months to make that happen? I love that question. If someone ever shares a dream with you, I really want you to listen to me closely. If anyone ever shares a goal or a dream with you, your next follow up question should be something the effect of, oh, wow. What's most important for you to do in the next three months to make that happen? And here's why I love to ask that question. If you say, what's your first step? Everyone's going to say, what's the first step? But if you say, what's most important to you to do in the next three months? It stops the person and makes them think, why is that important? When you stop a human at a networking event and you make them think they want to stay in conversation with you longer, you, you're going beyond the punch bowl now, you're having a deep conversation. What's most important to you in the next three months to make happen towards your dreams? Not many people talk like that. When you're someone who's talking like that, they're just like, wow, you know, this person is interested in my dreams. And I think that's really vital to have. I think there's three things you should know about every person that you're gonna meet. At least five people at a networking event anywhere else out there. I think there's three things. Number one, always know what people are trying to create or build. Are they trying to create a movement? Are they trying to create a better career? Are they trying to create a better life for their family? Are they trying to build a school? Are they trying to build competency in a specific skill set? Are they trying to build, build their empire? What every person, like we're built like one of our human aspirations is our desire of creation. We came from creation. If you're a spiritual person, if not, no worries. But things are created. Things build. The universe is being created by itself. Even if you don't believe in God, it's building and expanding itself. Like that is part of our DNA and part of the whole universe. So it's like, what is it a human is trying to create and build in their life? Some people, they're just trying to build their career. So what do they want to do in Their career. Ask them. Ask them. I always like that I'm a person who. I don't mince words a lot. I don't chit chat a lot. So I ask them directly. I'm like, hey, at this stage of your life or your career, what is it you're really trying to create and build? That's literally the question I try to ask. What is it you are trying to create and build? What is it you are trying to create and build at this stage of your life or your career? And sometimes I'm just trying to create some sanity at home. Great. Now you know what's important to them. And now you can continue that conversation. Oh, what's up? At home? And now you learn some things. Now you might be able to recommend some books or introduce them to someone who's dealing with those same parental issues or the same relational issues. So what are they trying to create and build? This one I love in my own industry. What are you trying to create and build? I'm trying to build my Instagram. Oh, what do you want to achieve with your Instagram? Oh, I'd like to reach a million people. Oh, what's the message you'd like to get to a million people? Oh, I'd like to get them, you know, this message that they have a second chance and that every day they can, you know, live extraordinary lives if they choose to. If they practice the right habits and mindset. Oh, okay, cool. You know what? I know somebody else in this room who's in personal development. Do you know that person over there? No. Hang on a second. Grab them. Hey, you know what I love about this person right here? They're trying to impact the world in a positive way. You've done that. Could you share any lessons on your success journey with them that might help? Ask people to share their advice with each other when you know they have similar backgrounds. Huge. Next up. I love this question. What's the hardest part? I met Bill Gates several times, as some of you guys know. And I. The first time I ever met him, first time I ever met him. Inspired by a question Larry King told me, I maybe four minutes in, I said, so at this stage of your career, what's the hardest part of what you're doing? And he just lit up. Oh, we're trying to solve this. You know, he was trying to. I think I, if I remember the timing right, he was like, trying to solve malaria worldwide, big problem. But it was like, what's the hardest part of that? He's like, getting the right People to believe it's possible. I said, that's amazing. You've gotten people to believe what's possible in so many ways before what worked in the past. And he was just, he was so excited to share these things. And it was just from this question of what's the hardest part. Last piece. Is their connections. Not as in who are you connected to? As in like, is there anyone you've been trying to meet that you felt like, or is there any type of person or any network that you're trying to get into? I might not know them, but who are you trying to connect with at this stage of your career? Who would you love to be connected with in this room? Right, I love to ask that question. If I'm in a room, 40 people networking, if I'm talking with someone. So, Pete, you know, there's a lot of people here. Who here would you love to meet? Oh, I'd love to meet Sally over there. Oh, do you know Sally? No, I don't. I'll be right back. I'm going to go. Hi, Sally, how are you? I'm trying to meet some people around you around here and I know you probably are too. Like, how'd you hear about this event? Oh, that's how you heard about it? Well, why did you come? Oh, you came. What do you do? Ah, okay. Hey, tell you what, I know someone who wants to meet you too. Can I make an introduction? Sure. Brings hey, salary meet Pete. And now you got what I'm talking about. Advanced wellness strategies for Home and Work. What an unbelievable topic, right? The timing is perfect because some of you, like me, you may have spent yourself and your year in a little bit of, you know, in a little bit of a quarantine in a new place. And you're trying to do your job, manage the stress, the obligations that you have with the kids or the family or the business, try to find that sense of happiness and joy and creativity in life. But it's also a really difficult time sometimes to do all of that when the world is in total chaos and turmoil, when multi billion dollar companies are trying to steal your attention and compare you to other people. And so today's topic, I think you're going to find not only timely, but something that will help holistically address so many of the challenges we all face in living a vibrant, a connected and a meaningful life. If you're new to growth day, you might not know that. I always kind of talk about this triangle and this triangle that what we're all really after after we have some security or a roof over our head or some food in the pantry is we all want a sense of aliveness. We want that joy, that enthusiasm, that sense, that joie de vie. We all want connection. And that connection is your relationships and how you feel connected to other people, connected to your family, connected to even yourself. We want meaningful pursuits, the ability to do things that matter to us, that draw our interest or our passion or our obsession or enthusiasm. And right in the middle of that old triangle growth, which is what we are here to do today. This topic a lot of people get wrong. I'm going to start with a simple statement. I'll tell you what we're going to do here today, especially for those who are new. I'm going to start with a very simple statement. I know when I talk about wellness, often people separate wellness in this little category. Oh, that means health or that's nutrition or that's meditation. And they kind of feel like, oh, I'll get there one day, I'll be healthy. And I'm always telling people, wellness is not separate from your workday. Wellness is not separate from your life. Wellness is not something you do once in a while or you have once in a while. Wellness is your experience of life. Wellness is your experience of life in this moment, it was your experience of life. This morning, it's your experience of life the last week or last two weeks. It's not this little thing over there. Once in a while you have your kale shake or you have your keto diet or you get to that gym once, three, four times a week. Those are practices. And I'm going to share with you tons of practices today that I know you will love. But it's wellness is our experience of life. And when we can look at it that way, things start to really shift in oh, once in a while I do wellness versus how am I being, feeling and experiencing life? That is how I think of like my wellness practices or when I teach wellness to corporations or I teach it to you guys in our high performance work. It's always more of a holistic approach because I really believe we want to feel, we want to feel the day. If something is off in your life, it's because you don't feel like you're feeling the day with the emotions and the energy that you want behind it. So today I've got all my cards to share with you today. Some advanced practices that have really served me, but also the mindset of wellness, the, the experience of wellness, what does that look like? And I know. Listen, as soon as you start talking about wellness, people often say, well, is this about losing weight or is he going to tell me I'm too fat? Is he going to tell me I need to get off the couch or stop eating the Cheetos? I promise. This is not a preaching session. This is a session, hopefully meeting you where you're at. I've always had to do that in my private coaching with our clients. I have to do that with you guys as our students. I have to do that with myself. There's different times in your life where wellness feels different and looks different. Sometimes when you're youthful and young and you just felt awesome all the time, it didn't matter if you pound down like seven tacos and four beers in one night. Okay, well, maybe it did. But you could get away with that the next two days because your classes didn't start till 11am or you had times in your life where you could get away with bad energy. You had times in your life where the energy was more abundant because that age or that health state that you were in at that time. But you and I both know there's sometimes it ain't so good. It's like you're trying everything and you feel like crap and you don't know why. You're doing what they say. You got your yoga mat, you're following this wellness person. You're doing your headspace or your calm or your tapping solution app. You're doing all the things, but you still feel like crap and you don't know why. That is the challenge of the wellness journey. I certainly know that many of you guys have been with me for a long time. I've been blessed to teach personal development now, essentially for 25 years. Only full time for the last, what, 17 years and. Oh, no, full time last 15 years. And in that journey, I've had to be on stage teaching to hundreds or thousands of people who paid a lot of money to be there. And I would feel like crap backstage. I was tired, I was fatigued. I didn't fuel my body right. I was stressed from business. I was stressed from family and the finances and all the obligations that felt my shoulders. There's been times just like you, when you're in that roaring stage of your career where things are going great, but you don't feel great. There's also been times. Many of you guys were with me in 2011 when I had my brain injury, and that took me on a whole new wellness journey because at that point, I was a High performance guy, you know, I had really gotten my mind, my body and my spirit, my work and family. I'd gotten kind of like in alignment, if you will. I was in the zone for a series. I was feeling good. And then on a trip with some friends, I wrecked an atv, a four wheeler. I rolled several times and I snapped my wrist off, broke my ribs, threw out my hip, my shoulder, and ended up with a traumatic brain injury. That opened a whole new world of learning for me to understand my brain and to heal my physical body. I know many of you have been through those situations and many of you right now you're dealing with sickness in your life or your family. You're dealing with an optimized, non optimized body and you just feel awful or you recently got hurt or sick. And listen, recovering from that, that's real. And so we'll talk about some of those recovery routines. We'll talk about some of those new ways to think about your mind, your body, your brain, your spirit. Today's a good discussion. It's a really good discussion. We're going to start with the most simple thing. I want you to write in your journal and fill out which is this. Wellness to me is, what does wellness mean to you? You know, whenever I teach a topic, I always encourage the audience, like, define it for yourself. Because if you don't define it for yourself, how are you ever going to align with it, achieve it, manifest it? You know, some people say, I want to be successful, Brendan. I'm like, what does that mean? They're like, I don't know, money, you know, it's like, what does it mean to be successful or confident? You have to define those things. What does happiness mean to you? We'll talk about that today. But wellness, what does it mean to you? I really want you to think about it. What does wellness mean to you? When you have full or holistic wellness, what does that look like? What does that feel like? Maybe what you can do in your journal right now is just wellness to me is. And then just write down some words that come up to you. Wellness to me is what? Just write down one word. Wellness to me is health, fitness, resilience, peace, purpose, happiness, aliveness. What is it for you? Just take a moment right now. I am going to walk you through my personal definition of this and then share some ideas that maybe you can put into play in your home, in your work life. So wellness to me is. Here are my keywords and my practices. Number one. Wellness to me is happiness. If I don't feel happy on a consistent basis. I know, I know. I'm not on my A game in terms of my wellness practices, to me, they go hand in hand. Wellness and happiness, they're not separate. They're not different. They are the same thing in many ways. If I'm not happy, I know my wellness practices are off. So let's talk about some of these ideas for happiness. Okay. For me, for me, the first thing of my wellness practice and what makes me a happy dude, like, if you met me, you'd be like, God, that guy is annoyingly happy a lot. If you've been to my seminars before and you see me go for four days, nine hours a day, often on stage by myself, people are like, how does he have that much energy? It's because I have the ultimate secret to happiness. And we have the ultimate secret to happiness. I'm telling you, you feel well. So what is my ultimate secret to happiness? The first thing is having reverence for life. And then practices that make me feel that. That make me feel that. So many of you know, 25 years ago this month, this month, 25 years ago this month, I had the car accident that made me, as a young man finally appreciate life and really want to live it and explore it and feel it and love it and connect with people. I was a broken down, super sad, unwell young man who was depressed and suicidal. And then the car accident knocked some sense in my head. And in my head, it made me realize I want to live this life. I don't want to take my life from that day forward. For the last 25 years. I can tell you, I have felt happy every single day for 25 years. And my unfair advantage of that isn't because I have this perfect life and nothing bad ever happens. Omg. No. No. It's because I make myself feel happy every day by. By reminding myself of the blessing of this life. So those practices, what does that look like? Well, it's simple. Practices of in the morning, Wayne Dyer taught me, wake up, swing your legs over, Put your feet on the ground, say, thank you. Thank you, thank you. Another day alive. Another day alive Another opportunity to change Another day to grow. Thank you for this opportunity to serve today. Let me live this day with intention and focus and joy. Oh, please allow me to feel this sense of aliveness. And I just start the morning with a sense of joy and luck and honor and privilege to be alive, to have the breath. I would say if you have reverence for life, everything else feels and looks good when you Forget the gratitude of the extraordinary blessing and the incomprehensible unlikeliness of your survival in life right now. The odds of the universe, of you being here, this little speck amongst the cosmos, is so profound that when you have deep reverence, which is respect, honor, appreciation, a sense of humility and thankfulness that you are alive, everything else flows from that. People are like, you're so vibrant. I'm like, have you ever seen my mom? If you ever met my mom, she is so happy to meet you. She is so happy to be alive. She's had perspective. She's been in a war. She grew up in war in Vietnam. She was the child of a soldier who was lost. So she was in a child recovery program. She was shipped to another country where she didn't know anyone and didn't want to live separated from her family. She had to immigrate to the United States under dire conditions. And she met her first husband, who was not good and was abusive. She went out and struck out on her own. She eventually met my father, who'd also been through huge difficulties in his life growing up super poor and having just spent multiple years, three tours in Vietnam, and got all shot up over there. My parents were happy people. They didn't have a lot, but they were grateful for life. Because they saw people die, they were grateful for life. And that reverence was something that was just palpable in my household. And I know I was lucky for that. A lot of people didn't luck out on getting great parents. I had good examples to that and that was good. But like I said, later on, I became depressed because sometimes when you don't have good relationships, which we'll talk about in wellness, it's hard to be happy, even if you know you should. But I tell people all the time, if the umbrella of reverence for life is not there, if a deep gratitude, appreciation and thankfulness for whatever you call it, for God, for life, for Cosmos, for universe, for dang crazy genetic luck that you emerged and have life. If you don't have that, I promise your wellness journey will never feel vibrant. I promise. You can eat all the energy, foods and supplements. You can take care of yourself. I know a lot of people who are super fit and healthy and miserable because they don't appreciate their life. They don't keep perspective that this journey is going to end super quick for them, all of us. And so wellness and the real journey to wellness begins with reverence for life, deep gratitude, deep thankfulness, deep humility and honor for life. That Is my ultimate secret. How are you so happy? I'm like I am dead. If you are alive, oh my gosh. And you can feel that, then you can tune into your breath and feel the sensations of around your body. If you can sense and feel throughout the day all of your senses and take in the wonders of the world, even if it's like a concrete city or you're out on I happen to be on the beach or I grew up in the mountains or I can get outside and see some nature or I can just remind myself of how big this earth is and how lucky I am to be one of the seven plus billion people. It's impossible to fathom your blessings. And I know when you say that to people in today's world they're like, oh sure, you can say that because you're privileged. You can say that because you're lucky. You can say that because you made your dreams or you have money or you are this or you are that. And what they're doing is they're casting out to the world their perspective that says, you don't understand me. So all those things you have, it's unfair. And that's a real quick way to feel miserable. Which leads me to my second point. Happiness. What are my happiness practices? Well, when I told you I wake up, I feel reverence to life. I pray, I meditate throughout the day and those little simple check ins of appreciation to God, it might be your gratitude journal. At the end of the night you log in a growth day, you type in your journal all the things you are grateful for. You must consistently and on the every single day, every single day, you must capture the sense of joy, the moments that mattered, the little things and events that made you grateful or appreciative. If you don't capture them, you don't feel them. And what happens is your attention goes to everything else. So my first practice of wellness is reminding myself to be happy that I am alive. But the second one I was talking about where it's easy for people to cast and go, oh you're so lucky or you're so privileged. And by the way, we all are. That's part of reverence for life. I'm like, when people are like you're so lucky. I'm like, yeah, totally. Well, you don't understand. I've been through this. I'm like, I don't understand. I haven't been through that. Tell me about it. I really believe we can learn from one another. We can understand one another's pain, we can explore relationships and conversations of empathy and compassion. And that's a practice in recognizing where people are unhappy and where they are angry and recognizing that that's okay, too. And sometimes when we're most angry, we're out of our reverence for life. When we're most upset, we're. We're out of our gratitude. When we hate on other people, we lost perspective of the uniqueness of this oneness journey. We're all on where we got to breathe this morning.