Removing a Little Chaos from Life is Good

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Hey, my friends, it's Brandon Burchard and welcome to a special episode of the Brendon Show. Hey, I'm Brendon Burchard and I'm honored to be your high performance coach today. With this episode, I've spent the last 20 years studying human behavior change and writing, coaching and training literally at the top levels on the topics of motivation, focus, productivity, confidence and more. My goal, inspired by my own personal journey, is to help you and my audience live love and matter. Which means to feel more vibrant, more connected and and more fulfilled in every area of your life. That's what we're doing today. If you liked today's episode, grab a screenshot and share it on Instagram. Just tag me Enonbruchard so I can see you and give you a shout out or a hello. And if you want to go to another level of personal development in your life this month, be sure to join me live every month in my coaching program. Just visit HPXCoaching to get signed up. I teach a brand new personal development session every single month. Meaning it's like a personal development seminar for you. Live every single month on the first of the month and then after I teach that for about 75 minutes, then we do live breakouts where you get to meet new people, network with people, set your monthly goals and establish real accountability for your growth. Listen, you know that expert guidance and real consistency and an inspiring community is critical to your growth. So join me this month on the 1st just go to hpxcoaching.com that's hpxcoaching.com it's time to level up, my friend. It's time to take your year back. It's time to find that focus and that confidence and that vibrancy and that vibe again. Go to hpxcoaching.com and and let me be your coach into fuller levels of high performance in every area of your life. Now, without further ado, let's jump in to today's episode.

One of my favorite discussion points is talking with people about whether or not they're setting boundaries in their life and whether or not they're over committing themselves. And I'll bet if you think about the times when you've been craziest in your life and meanest to people or upset about things, it's because basically you failed to protect your territory. You got in a place where you felt like you had to say yes to everybody. I don't know if you've ever been a people pleaser. I was a People pleaser. Early in my career, people would ask me for things. Brendan, I like your book. Could you write an article for this thing and this thing and this thing and this blog and this blog and this blog? Could I interview you for this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And everything was yes, yes, yes. And then suddenly I felt one day off path. I was saying yes to everybody's requests, but I wasn't saying yes to what I felt my real purpose was. And I know that sometimes it's easy to get pulled away from what we really want to focus on because, you know, we have family, we have friends, we've got business, we've got a lifestyle to maintain. But the challenge is the more you allow everyone to encroach on your day, or what you desire of life or what your plan or your purpose is, the more you're likely to do it again the next day, the next day, the next day. Because, you know, we often get in a habit of giving ourselves over to people, and at some point, we feel like we lost ourself. And so if you've ever been in that place before, this is a good time to say, gosh, if I want more sanity in my life, I'm going to have to start to say no. And saying no is not a negative thing. Because right now, if that's been your association, you think, oh, if I say no, people get mad at me, people feel disappointed, they reject me. And whatever has happened for you that you've built up, saying no is a negative thing. I'm here to help reframe it. Saying no and setting boundaries is the most positive thing you could start doing for your sanity ever.

Period.

Because guess what? If you protect your sanity, you protect your day, you protect your life, you protect your purpose, then when you deal with people, you're not angry at them. I mean, think about it. Is there some people that when they come around, you're just like you get upset about, because you know they're going to ask you for something and you know you're going to say yes, even though you want to tear your hair out. Well, that's not their fault. They're conditioned to ask you and you said yes so many times, and they just keep taking and taking and taking. And now you probably have some bitterness or anger towards that person. And the only way to get it back, to release that anger, to release that bitterness, is to get your day back, to get your plan back, to get your desires back. I'm not pretending it's easy. I mean, we all struggle with balance. But this struggle that we have that saying no is negative has to be reframed. And here's the thing. If you can learn to say no more often to the wrong things, you'll start feeling better about life and you'll start pursuing the right things. Because a lot of people say, I. My life feels so derailed. I don't feel like I have anything I want. I often say, do you feel like you're a giving person? And they'll say, well, yeah, I'm a very giving person. I said, do you feel like you've given over your life's agenda to other people? You know, you wake up, you check your inbox, and you reply to everybody else, but you never do your work or, you know, the kids need all these things and you do all those things, but you forgot that one thing you wanted to do for yourself that day, and you did have time for it, but you just forgot because you're so used to serving. Well, it's time to set some boundaries. And it's vital that you do that for your own sanity, but also for your energy in those relationships.

Hey, it's Brendan, and I want to jump in the middle of this episode here real quick and tell you about something I'm really excited about and something that answers a question that many of you have for me all the time, which is, Brendan, where do you get this crazy focus and energy in your life?

And.

And the truth is, I've developed a supplement line that really helps me do that. And frankly, I needed to. I don't know about you, but sometimes when you're trying to achieve big things, a lot of stress comes along. And as you're trying to achieve bigger things, you need to be on your A game more often. You need to be mentally sharp, you need to be mentally prepared. You need to be mentally energized and productive. And not once in a while, but like every day, you have to be on. And sometimes guzzling more coffee isn't going to do it. You have to use what we call Nootropics, which are, you know, basically supplements that help optimize your brain. And yes, we have a product for exactly that. It's called HPX Optimized and it is our most popular product. And you can get it. It's back in stock@hpxwellness.com that's hpxwellness.com you'll find HPX Optimize for your mental focus and energy. There's. You'll also find my favorite powdered energy drink that we created this 100% organic and vegan. And you'll find my essentials, which is my daily multi that I take, that covers my energy, that covers my longevity, that covers my immunity, that covers my brain and body health that I absolutely love. And you will feel the difference. Go to HPX wellness.com right now. HPX Wellness.

What I want for you and I want for everybody, I want them to feel when they see somebody engaged, excited and relaxed about seeing them, not bitter or upset. So here's how you do it. Setting boundaries. First thing, this can be so hard for you. You're just going to start to say no. It's the hardest thing ever. And here's why I tell people this. Just say no automatically to almost anything that comes to you. You don't actually have to say no to the person or actually reply no, just in your mind. When something comes in like that, just go nope. And then justify. Why would you say no? Come up with a reason. Well, I would say no because I have these other things that I want to focus on. If your first answer is no, your logic kicks in. You start building some reasoning about why it makes sense that that should be no and you should be allowed to do what you do. It's super hard, I know, but if you make that first move, it's a no. Now let me think about why it's a no. And then convince yourself that from now on you have to persuade yourself into a yes. Not them, you. So if it's a no first, now you got to change your mind. And as you know, changing your mind is sometimes hard. So if your first frame is it's a no. And then you have to explain to yourself why it would be a yes, you start to get an incredible amount of clarity about what is right for you and what is wrong with you. And then from there it's straight up courage and bravery and protecting your day and your dream and your purpose and your mission and your family and your free time. It's just the bravery of now saying to someone, you know what, I'm sorry I have to pass on that because I know you're just coming to me with this now, but I've actually had other plans that have been laid down long ago and if I don't follow those, then it's being disrespectful to other people.

So.

So I know it feels bad that I have to say no to you now, but otherwise I'm cutting you in front of other people who they're just like you. I love them too. And I can't do that to them. So I have to stick to this, and I apologize, but I have to say no. That's it. Now, the challenge in all of that is you're going to get pouters, you're going to get complainers, you're going to get people who keep pushing and pushing and pushing. And now it's just a question of your character. How much at this point in your life are you going to stick to what you know to be right for yourself? Because sometimes we go through a couple years or a couple decades where we know it's right for ourselves, but we're giving. So we give ourselves over to other people and we end up in a life that doesn't feel right. And I would just say if you struggle with saying no for so long, please give yourself that gift. Today is the day you're gonna be comfortable saying no.

All right. Hey, my friend. I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If you're ready to go to another level, don't Forget, go to hpxcoaching.com Let me be your coach. Let me spend the first of each month with you, giving you a personal development seminar. Let me help you get unstuck, break through your emotional blocks, find your real.

Clarity, your real passion, your real purpose.

And implement the habits that you know you need to implement. Change your life by getting a coach, getting some expert guidance. Listen, you got as far as you could get. You're here. You've achieved so much in your life. But to go to another level requires another level of mindset, another level of discipline, another level of direction and community and consistency. And that is what my coaching program, program is all about. So go to hpxcoaching.com and listen, if you're ready to go to a whole other level, I'm hiring. Please go to brendon.com hiring for our open roles. I got a big secret project that we are rolling out and you'll only find information that@Brendan.com hiring we've got, I don't know, 10 or 12 open positions there. If you ever wanted to work with me, if you wanted me to be your leader, you wanted me to literally employ you and help you grow in your career and do what we do, serving this mission of helping people around the world achieve their dreams faster, helping them improve their lives. We live every day as a team to do that. And we are currently hiring. We're building out a a new product and we need some people to help us do that. Brendan.com hiring if you don't know how to spell my name. Don't even think about it. We're looking for people who are pros. If you're interested in internship with me, don't go there. We're not hiring interns. If you're interested in starting your career with me, don't go there. We are an a team here. We've got people who are really experienced. So if you're new to personal development or you're new to marketing, you're probably not going to be the person we're looking. Or we're looking for people with at least three years of professional experience in a lot of different roles because we.

Take this role very seriously.

We get to change lives and millions of them every single day. That's the work. So we're looking for real pros. Top of your game, Ready to come on to an organization that reaches just as many people in the world as any other personal development influencer or trainer on the planet. And we'd be excited to have you join us in a big new initiative we're rolling out for the beginning of the year. I can't even tell you any more about that. Go to brendon.com hiring if you'd like to work with us. And if you just want to go to another level and have me as your coach, not your Boss, go to hpxcoaching.com so I can give you a brand new personal development session this month to help you set your goals, get on track, get unstuck and achieve your ultimate difference. Go to HBXCoaching.com for that. Thanks again for listening to the Brendon show. You all mean so much to me. I have so much coming out in the next couple of months for you here that's going to be unique and special and I know you're going to love it. So keep your head up. I know it's been a hard year. Please remember, as always, you are stronger than you think and the future holds good things for you.

Sam.