Secrets to Resilience (How to Bounce Back After Failure)

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Hey, my friends, it's Brendon Burchard and welcome to the Brendan Show. This is a podcast about helping you reach high performance in your life, in every area of your life. It's about staying more motivated, more confident, more disciplined and on purpose. You know, the high performance experience is really about feeling more vibrant, more connected, more excellent, more fulfilled in your life. But it's also challenging you because you and I both know it's difficult to reach those levels of high performance without support, without ongoing commitment and dedication to your own personal development. So welcome to our HPX community. Thank you for joining us here on the Brendon Show. I'm super pumped for today's episode. Before we begin, I want to let you know that we have specials right now on our HPX nutrition line. If you didn't know it, I rolled out three specific products to help you with your performance. These are three specific supplements that will really give you the edge. Now, don't worry, I'm not starting an MLM or a downline. I'm not asking you to promote any of my products. And frankly, just like you, there's a lot of different companies and a lot of different products that I love and I enjoy and I'm not trying to compete with. It was specifically, I could not find three world class supplements that specifically helped me in these areas. So we've got HPX Optimize, which is a mental focus and energy product for your brain health. Then we've got Essentials, which is a functional multivitamin which we've basically enhanced for longevity, for joint health and for vitality and digestion. But what we did, instead of like making a multivitamin where they sprinkled a million different things in there that actually have no effect, we put in dosages here that you'll be amazed by. And then finally we've got HPX Organic Boost, which is the energy drink mix that I take because it's 100% organic. Organic. It's actually delicious too, I have to tell you that. So go check it out. Hpxwellness.com, everything you need to know is right there. And if you've ever wanted to know how to reach the high performance experience in terms of your biology and physiology, these products can really support you. Go to hpxwellness.com and without further ado, onto today's episode, how do you stay.

Resilient with what you are doing? All right, today I just spent a whole day with my coaches talking about how do you maintain and inspire resilience And I think the most important topics I can share briefly what I shared with them is first, when you have a setback or a failure, the first important thing that you start managing, monitoring is yourself. Talk to yourself about how you are processing that failure, that setback, and you've got immediately when you have a failure, a setback, a challenge point, something horrible, you immediately, instead of being discouraged, disappointed, angry, hatred, immediately flip into your learning mind and say, okay, what did I learn about this? What did I learn about myself? What I learned about other people, What I learned about the world? And what might I do next time to improve the situation, prevent the situation or do better? Because by projecting yourself into the next time based on the lessons you learned, you will move through that setback earlier. Because what does everyone else do? Usually they revisit the setback and they ruminate on it, right? They keep thinking about it over and over. They think about all the reasons that went wrong, all the problems. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. And they watch their motivation wind out. Instead, be a student. Every time there's a failure, I'm like, what did we learn? And I very closely manage my self talk. I'm asking what am I saying to myself about myself after that failure? Because one part of me wants to go, brennan, you big dummy. How could you let this happen again? You always fail. You suck. You knew this was going to happen. Look at you, still being stupid, still being a loser. Omj. And of course I could do that. But if I hear that, I'm like, that is completely not productive. Instead, I tap into the Brennan and says, hey, Brendan, you're a student, right? You're in this personal development stuff because you're curious about yourself. You're curious about living a good life. So what'd you learn? Go ahead, Brendan, explain it to me, buddy. What did you learn about yourself during this? Aha. And what did you learn about other people in this? And what did you learn about the opportunity in the context of the world? Aha. Now, Brennan, what are you going to do next time? And that simple self talk starts moving me into the future. And that makes me buoyant and excited and yeah, you heard it first. Motivated. Because when I think about how to do it better next time, that motivates me versus being discouraged by thinking about how it happened last time. Think about next time. Motivated. Last time discouraged. So approach it from the learning mindset. Manage self talk. The key to resilience is what you are Saying to yourself and how you are labeling yourself other people and the context, if the context you're like, well, that real estate thing or that investment or that promotion or that marketing don't work, never does, ain't gonna work for me because I'm stupid and other people are better than me. Well, no wonder the Doritos, Diet Coke and Netflix and keeps happening, right? You're talking yourself into doing nothing. I want you to talk yourself into the learning and the motivation for next time. That is the absolute key to resilience. The second aspect of resilience is very similar to discipline, which is all I want you to do is connect with somebody else and process it with them. When you suffer in silence, the suffering lasts longer. When you express and share your suffering with other people, you tend to get comfort, you tend to get understanding, compassion, and you're able to forgive yourself and move through it more quickly. That is why you need to be in a good community of people. And I know not all of you are in my mastermind, not all of you are at our events, not all of you are in the social community here because maybe this is your first time with us, but I'm cheering you on from afar. I'm here for you. I love you. You have support in this world. Never forget it, Never forget it. And if you're like, oh, but you know, I don't have anybody. I'm like, listen, easy answer. All I want you to do, please go volunteer for some organizations in your local community. And as you get a volunteer community around you when you're struggling now, you can call up your fellow, volunteer another person or tell them out while you're volunteering, like, yeah, you know, I've been having a bad week, or yeah, this happened in my marriage, or yeah, I got the medical report. And you know, if you have no one to share anything with, no wonder you suffer. But don't forget, if you don't have a positive sort of group, you can't blame where you're from. You can't blame your city, can't blame your company, can't blame your team, can't blame anything else. You need to go build that active community where that's again, come and do our events, or it's for you joining a local group. Whether it's for you volunteering, whether it's for you reaching out online, there are always options for you. But it's really like, we can all be warriors, right? But I always tell people, you understand that warriors have other comrades. Like if none of the great Battles on earth were fought without an army. You need to develop your army and stop thinking of yourself as an army by yourself. Right? That's not how it works. You need comrades, partners, friends, family friends. So you got to develop deep connections and relationships, be around great people. And if you ever struggle with that, I always tell people, the greatest support network you can ever get for free is joining local volunteer organizations. And because the people who volunteer in your community tend to be the most compassionate, thoughtful, progressive, intelligent people who also have realized life is about service to others. So they're dedicating their time and energy to that who happens to be on the boards of the most successful nonprofits in town, the most successful people in town. So automatically you're leveling up your peer group by volunteering. Because the people who run the local nonprofits or the people who donate the most and contribute the most tend to be the most successful. And you're leveling up your peer group. And when you level up the people who you are around, they've dealt with challenges just like you. And it's easier for them to support you, cheer you on, guide you through that setback because they've been through it. And when you have a social support, the resilience is so much easier.

Hey, it's Brandon. I'm bopping in here real fast for you to urge you to go to HPX wellness.com and check out our products to help you get more of that mental focus and energy. You need to stay at your best, to deliver with excellence, to feel like vibrant again. Because I know we all struggle with mental fatigue and mental focus. We all sometimes get tired and sometimes we're worried about our overall health. And So I created three specific products to help you with that. HPX wellness.com check out our nutrition line and let's get you to high performance, baby. HPX wellness.com.

The other aspect about resilience I'd like to share with you today, to develop a lot of resilience is remember, you're going to think about what you learned. Think about how you're labeling yourself and talking to yourself and orient yourself to the future. You're also going to surround yourself with, with good people. The other aspect about resilience is this. Make sure you maintain your discipline for previous commitments to self. Maintain your discipline to maintain your resilience. What does that mean? Have you ever had a setback where something failed and something goes wrong and you just throw out everything you like? Throw out the baby with the bathwater, right? You had a setback in, you know, in your career. And, like, you had a horrible day at work, and the next day when you're supposed to work out, you throw that out, right? You're supposed to go volunteer. You throw that out. You're supposed to meet your friend. You throw that. Like, you let one setback throw out and, like, destroy everything else. It's like one domino falls, you let it fall into everything else. So all your other habits you fall off of, and now you're in a deeper pit of despair. So I always tell people, listen, for me, as an example, when I have a bad work day, I make damn sure I get that workout the next morning. If somebody in a relationship lies, cheats, steals, terrible, and partner or business or whatever, I'm like, okay, well, then I better make sure. I said, Tomorrow at 3, I'm going to write. I'm going to write. Meaning when one thing falls, that's the time to stick with diligence and discipline to the other things that are certain. Because what people do is they have a bad day, and then they knock down all the dominoes of goodness in their life, and now they're in despair. So I'm here to tell you it's really important when you do struggle and fail at something to make sure you keep your other commitments. Yes, you had a bad day, but don't cancel all the other meetings you had set up to move your life forward the next three days, because that's what people do. I don't feel like it now. I'm mad. And they cancel all the good that they were going to do, and now they're, like, by themselves, having no momentum. They have no momentum, so they lack motivation to get back up. All right.

Hey, it's Bren. I hope you enjoyed that episode, and I hope it helped you reach another level of high performance in your life, whether it's just a shift in your mindset or shift in your habits or a shift in your intention for the day. I really honor you for listening to the Brendon show, and I'm deeply thankful. So could you do me a favor? Could you just go onto itunes or Apple Podcasts and rate and review this episode or any of our episodes? And also, while you're there to help me, just download the last five episodes, too, onto your phone, because Apple Remains really cares about the downloads and the rating and reviews, and I've never really asked for that in six years of podcasting. And finally, my friends convinced me to ask you to do that for me. I've never asked anything with my podcast community ever. But I really, really appreciate if you could do that. Also, if you would like some more in depth training, please don't forget that every single month I go live for two hours and teach new and original personal development research new frameworks to my entire virtual community in our HPX coaching program. And you can just go to hpxcoaching.com that's hpxcoaching.com to learn all about the different options there. But listen, I'm live two hours every single month with literally thousands of high achievers from around the world who tune in to get these new frameworks for reaching high performance in their life. Sometimes we talk about relationships, sometimes we talk about breaking bad habits. Sometimes we talk about achieving another level of confidence or discipline or goal attainment. But we are there every single month and I'd love for you to join us. Just go to hpxcoaching.com to see all of your options and really join us. Dedicate yourself to personal mastery. Dedicate yourself to this journey. Not just once in a while with an episode here or there or a book there, but literally a program that could change your life. It's called HPX Coaching and you can go to hpxcoaching.com until next time, my friends, please remember every single day you can choose to be average or ordinary or just kind of go through the motions. Or you can be more intentional, more disciplined, more excellence driven what you do because you know you need to serve those you love and those that you lead. You can choose to be extraordinary. So my friends, go out there today and be extraordinary.