Stick To Your Word

Welcome to the Charged Life. This is Brendan Burchard. Hey, it's Brendan. And have you ever wondered why sometimes you don't stick to your word? You know, you break commitments, you show up late, you don't deliver what you promised, or because of all that, somebody gets mad at you and you find yourself backpedaling or feeling like you're not living in integrity, or people tell you you're not. Why is it so hard to stick to our word? And what can you do in your life to make sure that you're more committed to things so you don't break your word, so you deliver what you promised, show up when you're supposed to show up, and all of that. That's the topic of today's episode. Now let's first and foremost jump into these four ideas for you. How to stick to your word. I think it'll really help. Number one, just stop committing to things that. That you don't have passion for. You know, if someone's asking you to do something and you're like, yeah, okay, I'll do it. And then the time comes up and you feel so obligated, and you're like, why did I agree to this? It's because you didn't have passion to it in the first place. You said yes out of an obligation, not out of a passion. And now you're paying for it. And I tell people all the time, look, you don't have to obligate yourself to other people. And soon as you realize that you find greater degree of freedom in your life, start committing to only those things where you feel a passion, a calling, a real desire to serve. I tell people all the time, and it's not super popular when I say it, but I think it's accurate. It's not your job to save everybody. It's not your job to solve all the train wrecks in other people's lives so you don't have to say, yes, I'll handle that for you. Because they messed up. It's really important that if you say yes to somebody, it's because you want to. Otherwise defer it and say, like, you know what? Somebody else could do that. You know what? That's not for me. Learning to turn down opportunities sometimes, even if they're good, will help you better stick to your word. I think too many people, they break their word not because, you know, they're not good people, but because what they do is they take on too much. They fill their plate with all of these commitments from all these people, and then they realize as they fill their plate with so many commitments to other people, they can't even go towards the things that they want in their life. They can't even handle their own responsibilities, let alone trying to solve other people's stuff. So be wary of committing yourself to other people to solve their problems or to projects that you aren't paying passionate about. Because if you can focus on that learning to say no, then later on, you won't have to say sorry. Okay, number two, big idea. Always respect other people's time, energy, efforts. As much as you respect and want to protect your own, your time is not more valuable than other people's. You know, know, it took me a long time to realize that, especially as I started building a team and a big company, a big organization. You know, some of you were with us last week when we had 2,000 people at high Performance Academy live our lives, training in San Diego. You know, I've been blessed to reach a lot of people. And sometimes it's easy to believe, oh, wait, I got to be there to be the guy on camera. And I forget that other people's time is as valuable. I know we're all guilty of that, and then sometimes we have to apologize for it. So what I'm here to say to you is, remember, everybody has a story. Everybody has a to do list that day. Everybody has a priority. You canceling on other people so nonchalantly is not a positive character trait. I know that's hard to say, but I was lucky. People told me that early on in my career, and it meant a lot to me. I was like, okay, I got to respect other people's time here. But what's happened is we're in a culture right now where so many people, because they're comfortable breaking their own commitments, they allow other people to break their other commitments. Nobody's setting any standards. And now we're all so used to it because, right, it's so easy to cancel on somebody. You just pick up your phone, sorry, can't make it. And we're so used to doing that so casually through text that we don't see the damage on the other side. You know what? Somebody canceled their meeting to talk to you. Somebody could have been spending that time with their daughter, their spouse, their lover, their team. Somebody else could have been working on their dream project while you work on your dream project and canceled on them. Always respect other people's time as much as you respect your own. Protect other people's time. Don't ask for favors. And if you don't really need it. Don't say you'll be there when you won't. And I know it's hard. Things do come up. But you know what if you're always saying, well, I'm sorry these things came up, and you're always making excuses at some point, you're not owning your life and you're not being responsible for your day and your schedule over a period of time, sure, yes, things do come up sometimes. But if you consistently finding yourself texting people fibs, well, this came up. Sorry. Then it's the time to revisit how much you respect other people's time. I think this really matters today. I'm sure a lot of people have blown you off in the last weeks, months, years. You didn't appreciate it, so why do it to somebody else? Respect other people's times. Third, big idea. And I love this one. Know your payoff. Sometimes we say yes to a lot of things even though they're good ideas, but we forget what our payoff is, why we said yes to it. So now we cancel, and we don't follow through with our word because we forget to remind ourselves about our why. Why did we commit to that? Oh, right, we could see this payoff over there. It totally makes sense. So before I ever cancel something on anybody, I always go, why did I commit to it in the first place? What was the payoff? And I remind myself of what I felt like I was either going to get get from that situation or give from that situation. Right. From that selfish point of view of like, why did I say yes? But also the service point of view. Like, I'm sure there was a reason that I felt like I could serve this situation or this person. That's why I said yes. So always be aware before you commit to something. What's the tangible takeaway? Why are you doing it? And once you've committed and before you cancel anything, say, number one, okay, did I commit to this for the right reasons? Number two, am I respecting their time? Number three, omg, why should I still do this? What's the payoff for my character? Why should I still do this? What's the payoff for them? Why should I still do this? What's the payoff for my legacy? In other words, convince yourself why not to cancel by reconnecting with what you could get or what you could give? Fourth, big idea. This is huge. And you know this from the retail world. Hey, look, you break it, you buy it. Take this into your own commitments. If you break the meeting if you break your word, if you don't deliver when you said you were going to, you don't show up. When you do, then you buy back their favor. What I mean by that? You send them something. You send them either a very kind audio message, voice message, very kind email. You send them something in the mail. If you missed a big meeting, you send them apologies, you show them some flowers. I mean, I know this sounds silly, but you need to repair the damage. You're not taking into account how much damage is happening in other people's lives when you steal their time away. And over a period of time, you steal a person's time 1, 2, 3, 4 times. You know what? At some point they're going to say, fool me once, you know, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. And they're going to go, I don't feel good about this person anymore. You need to repair the damage. You break it, you buy it. You got to buy back your character, your reputation, your integrity with an act of kindness, an act of generosity, and an act of attrition. Just say, you know what? I'm really sorry about this. I feel ridiculous. I know I said I only was only going to deliver this, but here's the thing. I promised I delivered and I'm going to deliver this extra thing for you. So. Meaning go beyond what you committed to now. You know, if you said you were only going to give him 30 minutes, you missed the 30 minutes. Say, hey, I want to make up the time. Could I give you 60 minutes? Or, hey, I was going to deliver this presentation. Could I give you an extra report that might help something? I really feel bad for having missed our meeting. This is the way that you don't just, you know, maintain your reputation. This is the way you be a good person. Because when you mess up, be more generous. Write it down. When you mess up, be more generous. You break it, you buy it. And that will help get some favor back. It will help you feel better about yourself. Because so many people are wandering around with a lot of guilt because they break their word all the time. Those who are breaking the word all the time and don't feel any guilt. What's wrong with you? No, I'm teasing you. You should at least take that standpoint and going, I should do better for other people than stealing their time or wasting their time or breaking my word. Because I know you care about your integrity. If you read my book, the Charge, you know that the third human drive is congruence. That idea of being congruent in our own actions and our own mind of the best of who we can be. We all want to be extraordinary people. Don't sell away that opportunity to be extraordinary by breaking your word and doing these little things that don't deliver when you promise you deliver. Don't show up when you promised. I know you know all this, but sometimes common sense isn't common practice. And that's why I'm here to remind you of these four things. Keep your word, my friend. Other people's times are worth it and your integrity is worth it. I hope you enjoyed this episode and you'll share with other people. I look forward to seeing you out on the road sometime. I just want to remind you simply, sometimes it's the fundamentals. When we get back to them, we start to experience more of the charge life. Hey my friend, it's Brendan. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Do me two favors. Number one, subscribe to this channel so that you continue to get updates every time I release new training for you. And number two, if you would like to get ahead a little faster in life, what I'd like to do is give you my 10 steps to achieving anything 10 times faster. So if you have a big goal, a big dream, a big mission in life and you just like to achieve it faster, what would you need to do? You know, this is exactly what I keep next to my computer or next to my bed. And every time I have a big dream, a big goal, I open it up and I kind of use this as my checklist to get ahead faster. Because you and I both know if you're going to be more effective or more productive or you are going to achieve your goals and your dreams faster, you're going to have to switch your perspective a little bit on achievement itself. You're going to have to adopt new thinking patterns and habits. You're going to have to have new daily rituals and habits. And your entire approach to learning and skill development must be better. So in order to help you do that, go to brendan.com 10x that's Brendan B R E N D O N and you can download this guide for free. Just tell me your name and email. I'm happy to email that to you for free. The same guide I use to achieve any goal or dream faster. Thanks for tuning in. Until I see you next time, go out there every single day of your life. Live fully, love openly and make your difference today.