The Blueprint to Bouncing Back

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The single essential element of all spirituality and mindfulness training is having a sense of presence and grace and freedom in the moment, despite the hurts and the pains and the struggles and the uncertainties of yesterday and even today. Like, let go and see the new horizon. Let go of the old days and the old struggles from the year of past, or the discouragement, the frustration, or all that waiting and that impatience. And if you can renew like that, every day does feel like a new day. Let's go. Growth day. It's a great day to start your day with an awesome attitude, with a readiness to knock out your goals and to feel the day, to bring some joy, to experience a happy day. To experience a day where you're ready to serve and you're ready to give and you're ready to show up for other people. You're ready to really live this life and enjoy it. And, hey, you know what? Deal with all the complexities and the feelings of working hard, struggling with people to understand, and getting ahead. And this week is the topic of mindset. And I'm so happy to have Jamie Kern Lima here with us talking mindset today. Oh, my gosh. Denise and I took a walk this morning. We had a great conversation, and one of the mindsets we talked about, that's a difference maker for people. And one of my favorite mindsets is the mindset of renewal. And so we were talking about, you know, it feels like it's been a long time since the pandemic started. That year was terrible. Many people, you know, will share that, I'm sure here. The last year was not good for many people in many ways, and we lost a lot of people. And it was. Things were shut down. It was scary. Businesses were closed. And we have to be careful about carrying that forward, knowing now there's a little bit light of the tunnel. Light at the end of the tunnel, right? It's like. It's like, can we renew our mind right now to say, I gotta endure the next six months? Wait, there's a new light at the end of the tunnel. Can you break off from the old one and let go of some of that tension that upset, that worry and renew your mind and go, okay, I only got to make it this many. Like, Jamie's got a book launch, right? You all know about. She's only got to make it to, you know, two more weeks, right? You only get like, I know this is not always popular because Denise always tells me, Jamie, Denise always said, please don't tell me it's another 90 days in 90 days, we'll be free. In 90 days, this will happen. But my idea is, can you renew? Like, let go and see the new horizon. Let go of the old days and the old struggles from the year of past, or all the discouragement or frustration or all that waiting and that impatience. Drop the impatience from the last 12 months. Adjust your vision, your field of vision. Go, oh, six months out, okay, we're rocking and rolling. And if you can renew like that, every day does feel like a new day.

I think that's so good. I think, you know, it's been such a season and so many people are still stuck in it, right? And you kind of still have their light dimmed. And I think the idea you are talking about is like, oh, you know, focus on that light at the end of the tunnel and then right now, right now, knowing that's coming, start dreaming again, start getting excited again, start living with anticipation again. And it is such a big mindset shift to all of a sudden live in anticipation of good things to come. Right? When we talk about mindset, I love this idea so much that even amongst us in this group right here, we are really, I would say, I would argue we are living in anticipation of great things to come because we are showing up in the morning. We are putting in that time for ourselves in community with human connection, like igniting our light, carving new grooves in our brain of all these different, like, we talk about a different topic every week on the Growth day morning show. And this week, it is all about mindset. I love this idea so much because the time is now. So many people feel just powerless and hopeless. And like there's. It's so much, it's so heavy for so many people. I hear from moms, especially in parents every single day, who are like, I did not sign up to be a teacher and still be a parent and still be a partner. And I mean, it's so, so much for people. And I think that to your point, it is like making that decision even in our own minds to say, ok, I am going to live right now in anticipation because I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Ok, how am I going to start dreaming again? How am I going to start planning again? How am I going to start feeling the day again? But also living in that anticipation.

I think it is great living anticipation. It's going to be great. And living in freedom now, I think that is the hardest. The single essential element of all spirituality and mindfulness training is having a sense of presence and grace and freedom. In the moment, despite the hurts and the pains and the struggles and the uncertainties of yesterday and even today, you know, how do you do? I was joking with Denise this morning. I was sharing how I, for the first time in my life, have an inbox that's completely out of control. And I've always been. I've my whole life. Everyone's know, I'm like, I'm Johnny on the spot. It happens in the moment. I get it done. And like, I don't have, you know, months of emails flagged and unread. That's just not my mojo. Right. But that's just real now. And I think another part of my life that would have stressed me out and upset me. But here's a question. Can you still be happy with an inbox full of tasks?

Yeah.

See that? I think when I was a younger man, maybe 10, 15 years ago, that would have. I couldn't, I couldn't. But now I can be like, I have a full plate of responsibilities that I'm always going to be behind on in some way or another. People around me will always be screwing up something just because we have such a huge team, Right? But also they'll be doing great things. And also I'll be doing great things. And also for every little task in there, something major is moving forward. And so it's just like that mentality, like, I can be busy, but I can be free. I can be stressed or have an edge about something and be free. I can have been hurt in the past, but in this moment, I can be free. And I think this is such a. The mindset of renewal right now is needed so bad that I just wish everybody could have the gift of doing a release meditation for those who haven't done it before. And something we've taught for 15 years or something crazy like that. RMT. It's called Casually release Meditation technique. You can search on Google Release meditation technique. And it's just something that we teach where you just release the thoughts and the tensions in your body with a simple meditation. And so I do that every day and I'm just constantly releasing the tension in my body, otherwise I'd be like, ah. But also releasing the thoughts of worry about yesterday and releasing the, you know, all the stress. You have to have an active release technique in your life, whatever it is for you. Maybe you like the candles or you put the incense and you, you know, whatever, whatever your thing is that gets you in that space of freedom and presence and grace in the moment that is going to save you from. It's the foundational component of stoicism, of spirituality, of mindfulness. Can you be here now when you get that? Life's a lot better.

You know, every once in a while you say a word and I have to think to myself, do I know what that word means? Stoicism. Anyways, that was the thought I just had. Okay. One thing I want to share.

So. No, but that's important. Stoics. So you know Marcus Aurelius. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Right, right. The greatest emperor of all time, Marcus Aurelius and his kind of. That era of. Of Greek and Roman thinkers were the kind of set up the foundation for a lot of personal development, of how do you deal with stress, with honor and humility? And how do you realize that external things in the world don't have to be your internal things like that? This is thousands of years ago. Right. So they kind of dialed in the idea of recognizing the power of emotion to take us over or status to take us over, and instead finding essential integrity and character within and really, really important foundational work for what we all stand on. And I think if you all haven't read Marcus Aurelius work, his journal and his writings, his manuscript, if you will, so powerful. It's called Meditations from Marcus Aurelius. And it really shows you the guy under the most extreme of circumstances, literally conquering new lands, being attacked, dealing with, by the way, a pandemic. The first major pandemic to wipe out certainly Europe. And here he was in the middle of all that. A pandemic, multiple wars on multiple fronts. Writing about how he's trying to calm his mind and reminding himself to bear the burdens of life with honor and temperance and strength. It's a real good character analysis of how we could all be stronger. And it's really powerful. Really powerful.

It's amazing that so many personal growth principles, how they are translated over time and how many of the same are still here. Two funny things. So I met Michael Hyatt yesterday for the first time.

Oh, Michael, he's great.

Michael Hyatt, right? Who is. I've been hearing about him for years, and it was such an honor to talk to him. And one of the things he shared is how Brendon Burchard, he said Brendan Burchard helped me, like when he was about to launch his first book. Now he's done several New York Times bestsellers. And I was just thinking about his energy, but also just about how many people have these kind of incredible mindset and personal growth ways of sharing these lessons with the world right through their own thoughts. I just saw Bob Goff hopped on our live right now.

Oh, what's up, Bob? Nice to meet you.

I've been trying not to freak out. I've been telling Brendan about Bob Goff, but Bob Goff, you know, when I first met him, he met me when I was coming off of 10 years of 100 hour weeks building a company. And at the end of our conversation he's like, you know, and he wears a Mickey Mouse watch every day. And he's like, you know, and he wears it because when he looks down at it, it reminds him to have more fun. And I don't know if you've ever met somebody and then within one time meeting them, you're like, somehow my life is better. That's Bob Goff. That's Bob Goff.

So anyhow, oh my God, that is the greatest compliment ever, by the way. That's so beautiful.

Yeah, it's so true about him. And after I met him, he sent me a Mickey Mouse watch in the mail and he's like, I just want you to wear this. You need to have more fun. I wear it all the time. I just want to share this because, you know, we are talking about mindset this week, right? Sometimes it is really structured frameworks or you know, the battle board that Brendan has to look at and say, ok, happiness, I need happiness today. What framework am I going to follow? And then sometimes it is little things that are reminders of us, of who we are or who we strive to become more of and to become all of ourselves, right? The gift really of like, oh, having reminders around that say, oh, this sparks joy for me when I see it. Or this reminds me not to take myself too seriously. Or this reminds me, oh yeah, I don't want to be that person addicted to work for another year in my life. I want to look at this Mickey Mouse watch and have some more freaking fun, right? Like little things. So sometimes it's frameworks, but then sometimes it's also the little things. Another big lesson I want to share here because this was life changing for me and I actually asked Bob's permission to share in my book because we just had it in a conversation, a small conversation. It was so powerful. Brendan, he talked and I shared this on your stage, actually. But he taught me that lesson about how we all have a microphone and we decide who we let speak into it in our lives and we decide we have the power to take that microphone back, right? So when it comes to what we are talking about today, which is like living in anticipation, dreaming again, focusing on how, okay, six months from now.

Almost there, everybody. We're almost there. You're almost there. Almost there. Have hope in that.

Yeah. And I think part of having hope in that, too, is making sure we do a good job even in the next six months of who do we hand our microphone to and let speak into. And again, and I talk about this a lot because I know. So this is the story of so many people that are part of the morning show right now, is that we have people in our circled, our friends, our family, we love them. But sometimes we got to take the microphone back. Right.

And to protect your mindset. I mean, that's the whole thing. It's like the microphone is a metaphor for the sound going into your ears, carving patterns of beliefs into your brain. Right. You got to remember everyone speaking to you has now made an imprint on your brain. And the more they speak to you, the more that imprint can be thick if you're not careful or you're not having a stopgap between their voice and your internal voice and what gets wired in your brain. And a lot of people's mindsets are terrible. Not because they're a terrible person or even that they had terrible events in their lives. They had toxic people who they allowed to be toxic into their brain so many times, and they believed it, or they just kept allowing it and allowing it, not setting a boundary or standing up for themselves, or they were in that awful predicament. There was no choice. And it's just this toxic parent or this toxic person. And that's why you have to learn mindfulness, is why you have to learn to control your thoughts, is why you have to care about self mastery, personal development. It's why you have to get therapy if you need therapy. Because you don't know that these things have been so hardwired into your brain. But the wiring can be changed, the filtering process can get better, and most importantly, you can create all the new grooves by neuroplasticity, by retraining your brain with more personal development that is positive, optimistic, strong, encouraging, believing in you, sharing messages of faith, of hope, of power, of optimism. Like, that's a beautiful thing about personal development, is it helps you craft the mindset that will allow you to be happier, more naturally and allow you to be more focused naturally without having to, like, grit and bear to get. No, it's like when you got the right thing going on up here. Happiness, focus, intimacy, love. That stuff flows versus having to, like, logic it out, you know?

Yeah. So good. You know, I am. It's funny. One thing I want to share, too. As we talk about mindset, right? And going forward, a lot of people are starting to set goals again and dreams again and think about, okay, what am I going to do coming out of this? You know, another thing that just came to mind, Brenda, to share, because this is really important, right? When I was writing my book, I did a phone call with Bob Goff, and he said something to me that I want to share with everybody. He said to me, you need to be careful who you share your book with ahead of time. I'm like, oh, what do you mean? Right? What do you mean? I'm like, do you think I should share it with my family, with all my friends? And he said this one thing, and I'm going to share it with everyone. He said, here's what will happen. I just want to let you know. I'm like, okay. And this applies not just to a book, you guys. It could be your dream, your goal, your hope. He said, I want you to imagine a big group photo, right? Where tons of you are in it. It was a really special event. He goes, when you show someone else that photo, what happens? He goes, they zoom into their own face and they decide if they like the whole photo based on how they look. He goes to the point where they don't even remember the event, how special it is, what was going on. He goes. They zoom in. He goes, it's human nature. They don't mean anything by it. And he said that. I'm like, okay, so then what happens? I start about six months before the book launch. About six months ago, I shared it with a couple people, exactly what he said. I thought, oh, they're going to be so proud of me. And just, like, sob their eyes out. Love this. Know how it's going to impact so many people. The first round of feedback was about.

Them, but I won't say, oh, absolutely, yes.

Always about them. And I just want to share this because sometimes we share a dream or a goal, and we're like, I don't understand why this person's not excited for me. It's because what they're doing is in your dream or goal, which they're somehow part of because they're in your life. They're zooming in to how it impacts them, how it affects them. Right? They don't mean to. They don't mean any harm by it. It's just this human instinct we have. And so they're seeing it through their own lens of their own limitation or their own experience. And so the feedback that they're giving you is through that lens. And so it's just super important, I think, too, as part of protecting our own mindset, to realize a lot of times, based on who we share this stuff to, whether it's a close friend, someone we work out with in the gym, whatever, that's what's going to happen. And now I can tell you, Bob Goff was right, like literally every single time, because you have to protect.

That's protecting your mindset, of your art, of your dream, of your goal, of the hard thing that you're working towards that nobody understands. And I think that's so critical is a knowing that will come back. But also, I just really, I always start with the mindset. No one has to understand or approve of or give me permission to do what I love. I don't need that generous feedback or encouragement or understanding because most people won't understand because they haven't done it. And the one people, and the people who have done it and understand, they're going to encourage you, but they might not lift you up, they might not support you because they are also doing their own thing. No one, you should never feel upset that someone doesn't understand or encourage your dream because they have their own beliefs, they have their own dreams. You have been given that gift. That dream has been sown in your heart, that dream has been sown in your soul. They have a different one that has been planted. They have a different one that's been sown in their soul. Let them do theirs and celebrate them if that's your attitude or your personality towards it. But don't worry if they don't get it or support it. You want good, constructive feedback from people who know what they're talking about and who have good generous intentions for you. Let me say that again. You want feedback from people who know what they're talking about and have good generous intentions for you. Because some people, they'll give you the feedback and they're smart, but they're really mean. You want the feedback from people who know how to make it constructive, generous. They have intention to see you succeed and do well. Everybody else is a casual observer. It's not like Tom Brady walks down, you know, walks down the tunnel and every dude up there screaming down, like, run this route. It's not like he listens to them. And you have a lot of people screaming at you who are like, you know, drunken people. At the super bowl who are just loud and caught up in the moment of their lives screaming at you. You don't need to take their instructions, and you don't need to take their instructions or their feedback seriously because they're so often either not the expert or they don't have the true intentions for you. Some of you have spouses who don't support you. And I get asked that all the time. What happens if you don't have Denise supports you so much. What would you do if somebody didn't? I was like, well, if they didn't, that would just have to be a very difficult and candid conversation. And that would have to be held lots of times in faith, in good trust, in love, with clear expectations and clear communication. And if we didn't get there, then we got to have a very serious conversation. But also, maybe they don't need to. Maybe it's okay. They're doing their thing and you're doing your thing, and you can find the support, encouragement, love, and cheering on from somebody in your industry or your neighbor or your friend. Your spouse doesn't have to be everything for you. Your spouse doesn't have to be your crutch. There are some things, maybe it's okay, your spouse thinks you're crazy, but they let you do it. Maybe they don't encourage you, but they're just like, whatever. And I just really believe that we've gotten into a society where we expect our spouses, our partners, to be everything for us. We want them to be our banker, our tax advisor. We want them to be our conflict management consultant with the neighbor. We want them to, you know, wash the car and pick up the groceries and cheer us on. I'm more like, get the support that you need for your goals and dreams from those who can provide it. Like, my mom doesn't read my books. She doesn't read books. She's not a book person. I have people, some of my closest friends in my world. Never seen a video. Me don't care. And I don't take that as a slight. I have one friend, he saw a video of mine, and he totally dropped this awesome insult. It was so funny. And he did it on a group text, and it was actually completely right. He's never supported anything I do, and he's one of my best friends. You don't need everyone cheering you on. You need your heart to know what your true north is, and you need to follow that, whether it's dark, whether you have companions, whether camels are spitting on you. Or not. Whether you know the path, it's about you finding your own personal power. And that's what personal development has taught me. All personal development comes back down to self reliance in some way or another. Not that we don't need community, not that we don't love feedback, but if it's required for you, it's going to be a long, hard, difficult, bitter road.

You know, I think that sounded really negative.

Cheers. Oh, God. Thanks for the motivation, Brendon.

The analogy you gave though, two things about this that I want to share because, you know, I often, I thought.

The camel's spitting on people was funny, but no one laughed. It's one of those things I think.

In my head I've seen, I've seen you. Nevermind. Okay, so two things on top of self reliance. I also think as a person who's like super sensitive and empathetic, I also think there's this idea why I love this morning show so much is because I think that also life isn't meant to do alone. And I think for so many people, they don't have anyone around them, whether it's their partner or anyone else that is supportive or that gives them the support that fills their soul. And so I just want to share that for everyone watching or listening, that's like, I'm screwed. I have no one that's. It's like, okay, well, you can build it. Build it. Absolutely build it. And you know, I talk about this whole story in my book about how I assembled people in my inner circle around me that did not don't come from the same kind of upbringing or family or background or faith or anything that I do that. But all have this huge heart to love. And I talk about how I did that because I needed to build that inner circle around me. Right. And we can do that in our own journey in life. And I also think that is a big part of this morning show is, you know, sometimes you get your support in communities like this where you are around people that are thinking the same way you are, even if your family and friends aren't. And one more thing I want to share really fast because your Tom Brady analogy was so brilliant. And he doesn't go out the tunnel and start checking in with each person. What path do you think I should run? Do you think I should rush it or throw it? I think that's accurate. Right? Right. He's like, boom, he knows. And what I want to say for women and for all of the women especially that are in this community right now, so Many studies show that women will tend to do things by consensus before they're confident enough to then go with something, right? Meaning they ask everyone else's opinion and take a survey. And we want to get consult from everybody. And then we. And I feel like part of our greatest journey in life is learning to hear our own knowing and then trust it and then go with it, right? And so I love the story of Tom Brady because every one of us is the Tom Brady in our own lives. Yet we stop on that when we are walking out the tunnel on the field. We know, we know, we know, but we are stopping, trying to get consensus from everyone else, right? And at the end of the day, it all becomes so much noise and we start doubting our own knowing. So I love that example because I think every person can channel that in some way, whether they're a football fan or not. They're like, oh, yeah, you know, because no one second guesses what play Tom Brady calls to run, right? Because he trusts himself and everyone trusts him. And I think for us, that journey is trusting ourselves, too, as we go.

After I dream, I think the most important. I want to share something that Jamie did for this new stage of her life. And I think, I hope you will find it empowering. We have to build the community that we need and desire in order to achieve specific goals and dreams in our lives, because not everyone around us is going to get it, and they don't have to. Stop pushing your dreams on other people. That they have to understand it and share it. People, what you have to do is go, oh, if these people don't get it, I need to build it. For example, I wanted to become a book author. None of my friends where I grew up had any clue how to do that. So I didn't go to them and start talking with them and try to brainstorm. I was like, no. I went to seminars that were made for people who wanted to write a book. And I learned how to write a book from people at seminars who were writing books. Right. Jamie. And what did she do? Well, she went out and met all of, like, the community of people already doing that. She went into a new community, met all the people, tried to add value to everybody, got to know everybody, was lovely to everybody. And now she has the support, that support. I want you to understand that support did not exist three years ago. So if you have a dream or a project or goal, it's your job. Go find that community. Go add value to that community. Go build that community. Don't sit there and go, I don't know anybody who. I don't allow that. In high performance. In high performance, we go, listen, it's not your job to wait for the calvary to come in. Your job is to go out to assemble the army, baby, let's go.

That's your job.

That's self reliance. You go assemble the army, don't complain you ain't got one. That's the job. Jamie, who has unlimited reach and resources in so many ways, she still did the grind of having to go meet all these new people to support this new goal, this new project, her book and her live event. Literally none of that existed three years ago. Is that right, Jamie? Like, none, right? She built it. And I'm like, and why? Because she believed that she could. I celebrate Jamie. I hope you guys all too. Because she didn't just sit and wait and hope. She was like, no, I'm proactively going to build the community I need to cheer me on, encourage me and support me. That is what I'm going to do because I have this dream and that's what I'm going to end with. Today you get to architect the mindset that will bring you more happiness and joy and productivity and fulfillment in your life. That's a beautiful thing. So work on your mindset this week. Remember, you're stronger than you think. Remember the future holds good things to you and remember every day is a good day to grow.