The Framework To Escape Feeling Stuck (From GrowthDay LA!)

First step in every project is your. Is your. I don't want you to do anything hard ever in your life again without conscious self talk. Remind yourself of who you are before you get in it. If you can't teach your brain, I test my fears. You are raising your hand. Say I am great. Being stuck, you got to exert your powers again to get unstuck. You gotta flex a little bit again to get unstuck and realize that you're the one who has taken control of your life. You gotta put some experiments up on the board. What we need to have if we're really gonna change this world and change the relationship we all have with each other is curiosity incrementally grow yourself into greatness. If you are stuck, Brennan, I feel stuck. I don't know why. It's the frame. Let me teach you the frame. The first one. You could guess you're stuck because there's a fear there. Well, Brennan, I can't say no. Okay, maybe you're fearful of saying no. Fear happens but you freeze over a period of time with it. That's maladaptive. Fear is meant to mobilize, to ready yourself for adversity or a situation that demands you to protect yourself or to shift, right? There's a reason we feel fear. Fear is not a negative thing. Outside of physical fear though, most mental fear is just poor management of our mind. Our fear is, maybe I don't deserve it, maybe I'm not worthy, maybe I'm not good enough and I always go, maybe you're right, it doesn't play well on TikTok. We will never know though until you get on the field and you fight and you progress. We will never know if you are deserving until you've been up there 30 times. If you are stuck and you are frozen and you are in self loathing and it's sticking there, there's some trauma and that always needs therapy. This is the time to go, have I been stuck in fear for a really long time? Because if you haven't unlocked that and you're conscious of it, oh my gosh, you need the therapy. For those who don't feel like you're locked in it, I want you to flip the fear and see the fear as, oh, I don't know, something's going on, I must be fearful. You know what, I'm kind of fearful of being judged. So I'm not going to try this. I'm like, great, so try it. If you can't teach your brain, I test my fears. You are raising your hand, say, I am great being stuck. So explore your fears. If you're stuck, I also want you to notice what I call your access of responsibility. What do I mean by that? Who has responsibility about you being stuck? When you're stuck, almost always you have given your power to somebody or something else. In any given moment, can somebody screw you up, mess you up, slow you down, hurt you 100%. But a year later, you can't still look at back there. Well, my, my teacher did this 10 years ago. I'm like, that was 10 years ago. That was a moment that was awful. That could be terrible. And it was your responsibility to get help, to grow new skills and to get better. And when we take away the responsibility from you, we take away your power. I'm the weird guy goes, when you're stuck, take on some responsibility. You gotta exert your powers again to get unstuck. You gotta flex a little bit again to get unstuck and realize that you're the one who has to take control of your life. I think the other one tap into which we talked about this morning is your ambition. If you're stuck, you're disconnected from your ambition. After learning about visualization, 22 years of my life, 22 years ago in my life, I. I still wake up every morning and you can ask my wife about this. Cause she thinks it's funny. I lay in bed and I just think I'm thinking about the future. Thinking about the future, thinking about. Because I know if I lose connection with my future, I will lose my motivation. If you're stuck, I want you to look at your mood. Your mood is very contained within the last 72 hours of what happened to you. What you ate and consumed has a huge biological effect on your brain and your body. Huge. Huge. That's why even to you. Like, I ate so good today. I don't know why I feel like crap. You had seven pizzas two nights ago. Your last three nights of sleep, huge predictor of your mood right now. Enormous predictor. The people you hung out with the last three days, Enormous predictor. Here's why I tell you that that's the best science to know ever. Let me sleep really good. Let me adjust my diet to be really good and let me hang out with really good people. If I'll get those baselines down now, my baseline mood is good. If you didn't exercise, if you didn't take care of actual. You didn't walk, you didn't stretch, you didn't open your body, you didn't do any energy release. You did nothing for your physical body either in terms of movement. That's why you feel that the way that you do. We're immediacy focused animals. You need to realize how you feel is so dictated by the last 72 hours. Everyone's like, why are you so disciplined in your stuff? And I'm like, because I don't want to be a jerk to my wife. I really like her. I think this last piece is really important. Your empowering self talk. Your first step in every project is your self talk. Thank you. We're not starting with the list, we're starting with the self talk. Mel Abraham. Testing, 1, 2, 3. Testing, 1, 2,3. Okay. Thank you, Adam. Thank you, Mel. First step of every project is your. Is your. How many of you had to write a hard email in the last couple days? Okay. When I open the email, I never start writing. I open up the email. I think about what I want to say. I close my eyes. I don't think about what I'm going to write. I think about the self talk. I need to have Brendan remember that you have an opportunity to do good things here, that you care about people. I know you want to rip this person to shreds. You're not the type of person who rips people to shreds. Brendan, remember who you are. Go ahead, buddy. First step, self talk. I don't want you to do anything hard ever in your life again without conscious self talk. Some people just need to go read the Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale again. You haven't read it in 10 years. Read it again. And if you don't believe in God and you're like, oh, he's so Christian, it's like you'll survive. Read the book. Another mindset. The way, how are you going to show up every day? We're all going to leave here at some point. What's your way of being? I would like for you to define that today with three words. My way is joyful and it's confident and it's loving. And I have to tell myself that with that empowered self talk. In those dark days, I have to remind myself when I don't want to do anything. I have to tell myself when I'm mad at somebody. Take back the helm of life. Make those choices. Be proud that you're living that way. Show up in that way for your family, for your friends, for your community, for this world. That's the stuff of growth, the breakthrough. So last month was our first event Here, Ultra members, that was our first experience here. There was a reason it was Ultra only. There were reasons I didn't have other speakers yet. There's a reason we weren't doing performance in a theater yet. You know, we're learning how to do this. You know, one show best customers half day. Second show, best customers open up to select Growth Day members. Full day. Learn the tech, learn the lighting, learn the air conditioning. There's no H Vac up here, so last time I was drenched, couldn't breathe. We've had some weird things happen. So why do I say all that? Because notice what's not. I don't have any Growth Day teachers here speaking yet. Right? Because why I'm the guinea pig. And I want you to think in your life a little bit about, you know what? Sometimes you see the stream way out there and everyone's doing it. So fancy. You just need to start in the game immediately. Small experiments, incremental improvement. Add one new thing, then add another new thing, then add another new thing. And that's called skilling up. That's called building capability. That's actually the breakthrough. Some people, their experimental actions are every four years. And they're like, I don't know why I'm not breaking through. I'm like, you don't try anything new for four years. Salespeople know this. You change one little piece of the sales message, see how that performs, Change another little piece, see how it performs, change another. But every week, I want to give you the gift of every Monday. I want you to know, what is your test for the week from now on, your whole life? What's the test? I'm going to try a little bit of this incrementally grow yourself into greatness. You got to put some experiments up on the board. You ever heard the phrase little plane, big plane? When they're teaching new pilots and the new pilot gets a little bold, they'll say, hey, man, little plane, big plane. And that's because when you're a pilot, you learn to fly the little plane and then the next size plane and then the next size plane and then the next size plane. It's very incremental before you get up to an A, you know, or. I'm sorry, a C15 or a C5. Right? Those are the huge, like, military planes that they put tanks in the back of and fly them to other countries. A lot of people start with a little tiny plane and they stay with the little tiny plane. What you want to do is go, there's a big plane. And I'm gonna little plane this into the big planeness. And you're just gonna go. And that's the plan. See, your little plane today might be the big plane of 10 years ago, but today that higher consciousness is going, I'm happy with the plane I'm in. I like it. I've learned to be in this plane. But if you can also go, there's a bigger game, there's a bigger plane. Not just to chase it for no reason, but. But to know there is a better quality marriage, there is a better quality of health for you. You're in the little plane of the joy and the confidence and the love that you can experience in your life. Not because you're not doing it great, it's just that that's called growth. Anyone watch that BlackBerry documentary? It's called BlackBerry. I think it's on Netflix. And it was interesting because they knew what was coming, but they were so superior. Ours is the best plane. And it's like, oh, no. There's new technology and you start with a little plane and incrementally change and innovate again. You always need to have R and D in your business. You always got to be an R and D in your marriage. You have to keep things fresh. You have to test to do that. That's the breakthrough. And it's not sexy. It's weekly. It's not one big sudden move in the middle of the year. It's every week you're trying stuff. We have to test out something in every area of your life. Test something out in the bedroom when you get home, tell them you went to growth day. So they're like, I'm coming with you next time. You know, it's like, listen, it should be fun to think of all the ways that you can wow or surprise or try. And our culture has gotten away from that. We have a culture of seeking adolescent certainty. What we need to have if we're really going to change this world and change the relationship we all have with each other is curiosity. I think the greatest phrase in life, the childlike phrase that keeps life so joyful, is when you learn to be entering a room or an experience, be like, what's this gonna be like? I really want you to have that curiosity, that engagement with life. Life again. Don't get boring. Don't stop testing. Keep learning. Most people, they bumble through decades of their life because there's no demarcation lines, there's no finish lines. If you finish November, December wrong, then the goals you set up in January and February seem fake, but if you finish the year strong. And that's your rhythm. Yeah, I just finished the year strong. I finished the year strong. I finished the year strong. Then you set those goals in January, like that's. That's possible because I just. I just kicked butt the last 30, 60, 90 days. So please, please, what is that for you finishing the year.