The Ultimate People Skills: Positive Projection

Welcome to the Charged Life. This is Brendon Burchard. Hey everybody, it's Brendan. Let's talk about how to make you extraordinarily good with people by practicing my favorite people strategy called practicing positive Projection. Positive projection is the idea that you project positivity and good energy onto other people. And at all times when it's difficult to do it, when it's easy to do, it doesn't matter that you're bringing buoyant positive energy into your relationships, but it's difficult for people to do that. So let me give you four sub strategies. Big strategy is practice positive projection with other people. How do you do that? Number one, honor people's struggle. You know, if you think about your life right now, I bet there are some areas where you're struggling. Maybe there's a relationship or a work situation or your health or something you've been trying to give or create. And sometimes it's just like, ah, you know. And have you ever felt like maybe some people around you don't know how hard you work and how much you dream and how much you give and how much you try to take care of other people? Well, if you've ever felt that way, now you understand that emotion that everybody feels. Everybody, all of us, everyone around the world struggles. But what we forget when we become sort of trapped in our own little world or our ego is just so self interested that sometimes we stop seeing the struggle other people go through. And so it's easier to judge them, it's easier to make them the enemy, it's easier to tease them, it's easier to be critical to them. And, and suddenly we start losing our humanity. And when we lose that humanity, it's not likely that we're going to remember to be positive with other people. You know, I mean, it's an old philosophical statement that if we knew the struggles and the pain and the hardship of our worst enemies, they would soon become our best friends because we'd realize it's just hard. You know, people are struggling if you can't see that, if you can't have that heart in you, that sensation that recognizes the challenges that other people face. It's hard for you to be kind. It's hard for you to be patient. It's hard for you frankly, to be a good human. If you look at the people we celebrate, they had an extraordinary outpouring of empathy for other people. A Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, a Dalai Lama. They had joy and kindness in the their heart for other people. And even when they Met the person who was the most struggling, the most poor, the most hurt, the most evil. They met them in a positive energy. They brought to them love, mindfulness, presence, care, compassion, empathy, goodwill. And it was their ability to do that, even when it seemed the most difficult, that we admire them and that some of them became saints or heroes or people that we all look up to and say, geez, I wish I could be more like that. You want to be extraordinary with people. Honor the struggle. Remember how much difficulty people go through. If that is always on top of your mind, you'll be more patient, you'll be more kind. Second, I think it's vastly important that we improve our ability to take interest in other people. What I call taking enthusiastic interest. If I ever sat down with you, I wouldn't shut up. But except for the times in which all I did, all I did was ask you more about yourself, that's all I do. I'd just be sitting there. I'd be constantly asking you about yourself. I'd be fascinated with you. Your job to practice positive, project into other people is to take a fascination in them. You should know what are their interests, what are their desires? What do they love that's going on in their life right now, in their work right now, in their relationships right now. What, what are they excited about? What are they scared of? What are their big dreams and their biggest fears? To take interest in other people is such an art in a time when people are so falsely interested, right? You meet somebody new, what do you do? You go to their Facebook page for 10 seconds and you scan it and you make a judgment and you're off onto the other things. We gotta do better than that. We gotta bring humanity back to our relationships and our network in such a way that we know the people in our network. We really know them. You really know your family, you really know your friends and your immediate peer group. If you know what their values are, their interests, their passions and their dreams are, suddenly it's much easier for you not only to be a positive person with them, but now with that fascination that you have with them. You can kind of become their cheerleader. You can be that person who says, I know you're interested in this. Hey, check out this article. I know you're interested in that. Hey, meet this person. I. I know you're interested in this. Hey, let me help you. And soon as you become a champion of people because you know what they're interested in, you yourself become fascinating and interested in them. You yourself get more positive energy from them because they recognize that the two of you are on a journey together, that you're a real human. You know, real humans take interest in other people. We forget that now in this digital age. But the reason I do these videos and I read all the comments from everything from my blog posts, from my, my Facebook pages, everything that happens on social media, because I'm interested in people. And that interest has taught me a lot about people. So that when I post something or I share an insight, it's not just coming from my opinion, it's coming from my recognition of patterns in humanity. And because of that, you know, we have 3 million plus fans on Facebook and tens of millions of followers all across social media and blog posts. And I mean, it's unbelievable. And it comes from my fascination with people that's taught me enough about people that hopefully inspire you from what I've learned. So please take a deep fascination in other people. Deep interest in other people. I think another one that it's difficult for people to do is to. This is gonna sound weird, but it's difficult not to assume other people's energy if you're going to practice positive projection onto other people. It's important not to be someone who, who serves as an antenna for other people's energy. You know, we have these things in our brain called our mirror neurons. These are neurons and really a grouping of neurons that seem to fire when we recognize something in other people. So if you see sadness in other people, these neurons fire and all of a sudden we start to experience a sense of sadness. You see joy in other people, you start to experience their joy. You see hurt in other people, you start to feel bad and hurtful. It's amazing that we can mimic and mirror or catch the emotions of other people. Other people's emotions can be caught by us. And if we're not attentive to that, then we start to being a reflection of those around us versus being a person who is willing the energy that we want in the world. I think it's very important that you don't catch on to what I call social emotional contagion. Like if you're picking up a all the energy around the world, most of the energy around the world right now is distracted, dissipated and disgruntled. You know, and if you pick up on that, you start to feel like this weird sense of stress and this weird sense of judgment and this weird sense of negativity. You know, the world right now is drowning in pools of pessimism. And if you catch onto that you start to feel that it's easy for people to yank you in that pool and drown you. So you need to be strong and sure and confident and healthy to avoid that. You have to have intention to bring positivity to the world despite the world's bias, often for negativity. And if you can do that, you'll start to feel like it's easier for you to project something that's positive and to do that. I think the last element I would share with you is to have a statement that you say to people when you see them or you pray for them or you walk by them on the street to say something in your mind. And for me, myself, I've conditioned myself when I walk past a stranger and if we connect eyes, I always say to myself, as soon as I pass them or we have that moment, I always say, I wish nothing for you but joy, health and love. I say it all the time when I think of someone. I wish nothing for you but joy, health and love. Joy, health and love. I feel like I'm constantly giving that energy to other people, that I want you to be joyous in your life, I want you to be healthy, I want you to experience broad senses of love and meaning in your life. And because that's my intention for other people and I'm always communicating that message through my energy to them, they feel positive around me. And people say, geez, Brenda, I like being around you even though you're weird, you know, And I think it's because all these elements I've shared in this, I hope that helps you think about how you interact with other people. I'm sure you've got lots of great tricks and things that you do as well to motivate you to be even better with people. Stay on path with that. You deserve to have extraordinary relationships with other people. But you can't do that unless you have the intention to project positivity on people. And as you do that more and more and more in your life, your relationships start to spark and come back to life. You start to feel positive towards other people and you start to experience what we call the charged life. Hey everyone, it's Brendan. Did you like this episode? Be sure to subscribe to the next one and tell a friend about us. If you want free books and world class training on motivation and high performance, visit me@Brendon Burchard.com and enter your name and email for our newsletter list. Until next time, stay charged and go out there every day of your life and live fully. Love openly and make your difference today.