This Is Why You’re Stuck… And Don’t Even Know It

You don't want to have problem persistence, so you detach from the problem. You have a big dream, but you got embarrassed, so you detached. When you're a high performer, you can be like, no, that's not true for me. I have joy. I am fully engaged. I am confident. The issue is you get bitter about other people who aren't as engaged as you are. And now you're detaching from your own joy. Because as soon as you jump into judgment, you're detached, whether you know it or not. As soon as you jump into resentment and rebellion and spite towards others, you just jumped right out of your presence. You might feel good, but you're detached from presence, from goodness, from love, from vitality, from the energy, frankly, that you deserve in this world where you aren't so trapped in your mental operations that are judging everything and everyone as imperfect. Because you know that's true for you, too. And so you don't like that part of yourself that is imperfect, that is insufficient, that is inadequate, which we all have. Like the human spirit was given the gift of learning, given the gift of development. There's another level for you to develop into. But sometimes you get so detached because you're scared, frustrated, upset, hurt. I mean, it's hard to have a lot of hope when you've been hurt. It's hard to get into the game, as they say, to find your flow when you've had a couple bad days, couple bad years. You're lonely because the kids left the house. You're struggling because the bills are piling up. You know what your income is, but the bills are piling faster than the income's growing. You're struggling because you actually love this person. And you're just like, why don't they frigging get it? You love them, but they don't reciprocate. You love them, but they don't change. You love them, and you're, like, not getting back the affection and the intimacy that you want. And you're like, you're crushing in your career, but your home life sucks. Or your home life is great, but you don't know what you want to do with your life. You have the blessings. You have the car or the house or the things that everything seems to be going right, and you're just like, why don't I feel that? Then when they come into work with us, they often like, brendan, just, man, I just want to. Could you just open up some more doors? You know, just like, open a door for me or just, like, open up my Mind somewhere, because I just want more success. And I'm like, oh, babe, the door to success opens inward. Cause I think it's pretty straightforward. There's only two things that are gonna change your life. Only two things. It's this discovery that I learned myself. There's only two things that are gonna change your life. Either something new comes into your life. That's a new blessing, That's a new person, that's a new opportunity. That's. You move to a new city, you know, something new novelty strikes. You know, you get some new tool, new technology, new person, new opportunity. And that shifts you. Sometimes that new isn't good, though. Sometimes that new that comes into your life and changes your life is. You get hurt. Somebody takes from you. Business doesn't do good. The economy's down, you're struggling, you're not earning as much anymore. You're like, well, this is a new context. Sometimes the new thing is a new problem. You know, I'm in the inspiration category, and it's like, oh, everyone thinks all the new things are good. I'm like, sometimes the new things ain't that good. Anyone ever got a bad new neighbor? You know what I'm saying? Anyone had, like, a bad new problem, and you're like, what the. You thought you'd solved them all, and now all of a sudden, someone on your team does something to blow up the whole thing, and you're like, what is happening? It's like a bad new problem. Not all new is good, no matter what the infomercials tell you. New is not always a good thing. But in general, a new thing can change you. But ultimately, the second thing that changes you is something new comes from within. If we don't get you to a higher level of conviction within, then I guarantee the gas will run out. And some of you, you've been out of gas and running on fumes for years, and your brute strength, capability, and love has helped you. But you want to feel again, and you want to enjoy again. You want to have breakthroughs again. You want a different level of consciousness that you deserve. But something new will have to come from within. And sometimes I know people can see a slide like this. I've been teaching this for 25 years ago. I wrote that quote. So I had that own discovery in my own life. But I wanted to tell you, I stand on the shoulders of so many great people in our industry, so many great psychologists and philosophers, so many great teachers in personal development and spirituality. There's probably nothing new said in a really Long time. This is a. Like that quote's not even that good. You want one that slaps. If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you. And I love this quote. Your job is to bring forth that which is within you. That is the stuff in modernity where we talk about authenticity. That's what we talk about now of you accessing something within something within you that is so important. And sometimes what you've been accessing within you is actually below you. Your level on the playing field is half hearted. There's something more in you. It's already there. You don't need me to put something new. I hope I can give you a new insight. I hope I can give you a new strategy. But ultimately what has to happen is there has to be something from within. Too many people, you forget you're the director. You're not even the character in your story. You're the director of your story. And you've been living it in reaction to the other characters you see on stage. They come in the room, you kind of figure out what you want to do. You go here and there and you're reacting to everybody on stage. But you're not directing. Because, see, your biggest breakthrough, sometimes you need to direct yourself again. You get at 2 o' clock in the afternoon and you're letting your inbox direct you. You're getting into week three of your project and you're letting your fears direct you. No, there's a character up there and that character up there, they might feel they being you, they might feel scared, worry, hurt. This new person walks into the scene and you've been living scenes of your life sometimes, and you've been living scenes of your life in reaction versus no, no. See, your mind, you're being the spirituality folks. You know, you're. You can displace and become the observer. Does it make sense? Not detach, but displace, like dissipate energy just enough to go. I want that guy to stand strong. I want that guy to say the nice thing. I want that you are directing your character in the story. And when you realize that's the job now, things shift a little bit. I'm here to ask you to be the director again. I'm here to ask you to return to what I call job one. Job one. In life, you must summon and activate the best of who you are. That's the job. You won't do great at the job every day, just like many of you. Some days in your job, you just suck. You're not good. You wouldn't even hire you. I wouldn't hire me. You get lazy. You turn off. You don't follow through. Many of you, you wouldn't even hire yourself. That's fine. That just means you know you're not doing job one. Job one, write it down. Job one, Summon. Activate the best of who I am. You've got to activate. What's the word? Active. That's job one. What am I supposed to do today? Activate. I love the word act. It reminds me I'm a character in a story. I can direct myself. Do this. Move. Do this. If the best of me was in the scene, what would the best of me do? In this scene, you're going on a date with your spouse, partner, a lover, even a first date before. You don't go on the date all nervous like, ooh, let me just react to him. Let's just see how it goes. No one go like, okay, if the best of me showed up on that date, what would that character be like? What is the best of me? What does that look like, feel like? Let me put that person in play. Put the best of you in play more. I'm not asking for perfection. I'm asking for direction. When you go through so many days and you don't activate, the dizziness is kind of like, you know, at night when you grab your phone, maybe you're laying in bed and you grab the phone and you're scrolling for a little bit, and maybe you look at it even just for one minute, and then you turn it off and you set it on the nightstand. But the, like, the, like, you still see it. You know what I mean? You're not looking at it anymore, so you set it aside. But the light glare is still in your peripheral, in your vision. You're, like, kind of seeing through it, so the glare is still in your eyes. You looked at it for a minute, but the glare, sometimes it's, like, there for one, two, three. Three minutes. You looked at it for one minute, it's there for three. Oh. Hmm. Except the average person is spending four hours on their phone a day. Well, if those same ratios play out, one minute becomes three minute. What if those four hours become 12? But if you feel a little dizziness, that's why your phones, you're scrolling. Some of you are. Your brain is stuck on scrolling. Just like your eyes are stuck on that image still there. That's not even there anymore. Your Brain is still stuck on scrolling. And when you're scrolling, all you're doing is, is this relevant? Judge it, compare it. Relevancy, judgment, comparison, Relevancy, judgment, comparison. And then you don't know why you can't connect with your wife, your partner, your spouse. Because just five minutes ago, is it relevant? Judge it. Compare it. Is it relevant? Judge it, compare it. So you can't even see the person in front of you anymore, which means you lost presence. And because you lost presence, which is a New Age way of saying detachment, you're detached from the moment, you don't even see the person in front of you. Because now you've got so good at judging relevancy online, you're judging the relevancy of the person in front of you, which is not a spiritual act. Your inability to focus and to lock in and to do the internal within work means we have to return back to the remembrance. Job one, Job one, Job one. Job one is to summon something different, right? You have to summon something different when your kids are screaming. If you just go in and react versus job one, the best of who I am, it doesn't mean you're going to be great every day, mom and dad. It means more often you will. Because you finally entered the scenes with direction. A New Age way is to say intention. You entered a more psychological, you entered conscientious. So whether you're a spiritual junkie or you're more of a psychology junkie or a philosophy junkie, I gotcha. It's all about going from detached to engaged, half hearted to convicted. Not in tension. Now in tension, a reactor in the scene to a director of the character of the scene. Soon as that starts happening. Oh, now, now we can actually talk about productivity hacks. But we got to get you within. And I don't know what's going to activate, but I know you have to activate what is going to activate. You can be binary, very simple. Something new comes into your life or something new comes from within. You got activated by something. Just maybe in this room, just at the right time in your life, just in your marriage, just in that last relationship, just in that new opportunity. It will happen for you, I promise. You have to activate. Would the character in this scene eat both bags of Doritos or would they take the Doritos out of the room and not even come back in the room? Would they go spend time with the kids? Would they go do their project? Would they go write those pages? Would they go build that business? Or would they sit there, there pouting with Doritos. None of you would direct yourself to pout with Doritos. You just wouldn't. But you end up there because you lost job one. So something has to activate you.