Unfocused? Find Your Why

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Hey, my friends, it's Brendan Burchard. And welcome to the Brendan Show. This is a podcast about helping you reach high performance in your life, in every area of your life. It's about staying more motivated, more confident, more disciplined and on purpose. You know, the high performance experience is really about feeling more vibrant, more connected, more excellent, more fulfilled in your life. But it's also challenging you because you and I both know it's difficult to reach those levels of high performance without support, without ongoing commitment and dedication to your own personal development. So welcome to our HPX community. Thank you for joining us here on the Brendon Show. I'm super pumped for today's episode. Before we begin, I want to let you know that we have specials right now on our HPX nutrition line. If you didn't know it, I rolled out three specific products to help you with your performance. These are three specific supplements that will really give you the edge. Now, don't worry, I'm not starting an MLM or a downline. I'm not asking you to promote any of my products. And frankly, just like you, there's a lot of different companies and a lot of different products that I love and I enjoy and I'm not trying to compete with. It was specifically, I could not find three world class supplements that specifically helped me in these areas. So we've got HPX Optimize, which is a mental focus and energy product for your brain health. Then we've got Essentials, which is a functional multivitamin which we've basically enhanced for longevity, for joint health and for vitality and digestion. But what we did, instead of like making a multivitamin where they sprinkled a million different things in there that actually have no effect, we put in dosages here that you'll be amazed by. And then finally we've got HPX Organic Boost, which is the energy drink mix that I take because it's 100% organic. Organic. It's actually delicious too, I have to tell you that. So go check it out. Hpxwellness.com, everything you need to know is right there. And if you've ever wanted to know how to reach the high performance experience in terms of your biology and physiology, these products can really support you. Go to hpxwellness.com and without further ado onto today's episode.

What'S your answer? Matt Connor from say hey Matt. Hey everybody. I was officially diagnosed with ADHD as an adult six years ago. And so I know I've had it all my Life. I'm curious if you have any tips or words of advice for someone whose brain doesn't work like everybody else's?

Yes.

I mean, distraction is a huge problem. Discipline is a huge problem. Focus is a huge problem. What? What do you got?

I got it.

Give us Jeff. Was it Jeff? Give round of applause. So good.

I'm going to come out here.

Nice meeting you, man.

Somebody take a picture of me with him.

Good job. I bet someone has a phone. Nice to meet you, man. Now, you talked to a doctor?

Yes, I have.

Tell me what they told you. You're talking so they can hear.

They said that I have adult adhd?

Yes. And what do they suggest to you?

I take medication for it.

Okay.

And also try to meditate and get more sleep and better sleep and things like that. Adjust my environment, but that's. That doesn't work.

Do you have family?

Yes, I do.

What do you got?

I have a wife and a 19 year old son and a 17 year old daughter.

How's your relationship with them?

Oh, with my kids, it's great. The last two years with my wife has been rough. We've been married for 24 years, together for 29.

Wow.

I started.

It's amazing. Absolutely. It's amazing.

I started my business. I'm a speaker and a coach and awesome. I started my business two and a half years ago. Gross household income, whenever that happened, went to a third of what it was the day before. That's put a magnifying glass on other things of our, on our relationship. So sure. This morning's talk was phenomenal.

Thanks, man.

Can't wait to get home. I got the golden ticket.

Look who's gonna show your framework to your partner or spouse when you go, hey, look at this. So let's talk about the focus. Let's talk about the discipline. Let's talk about the distraction. Who in the room does not have diagnosed adhd. But also focus, distraction, discipline is a major issue for you. Can you look around the room? Okay, my people, let's. And by the way, first and foremost, if I can, with the inspiration from Waheed, please recognize the number of people who raised your hands. Would you all raise your hands again? This is the human condition. You're not broken. There's nothing wrong with you. You beat yourself up expecting to be amazing. So when you see a sea of people from 40 countries raise their hand and go, oh, I too have focus and discipline, it's hard for me. I want you to feel good about that. I want you to go, oh man, I'm really hard on myself. No breakthrough is gonna come from more judgment. No breakthrough's gonna come from more judgment. What the breakthrough's gonna come from is another level of self, love and demand. Now, many of us in our lives, who's ever had a sudden demand placed on you, and you kicked ass for, like, weeks now, keep your hand high. If you were also one prone to lack of discipline and focus, but you still kicked ass. That was necessity. That's demand. We need something bigger than our impulses to keep us focused. We need something bigger than how we feel to keep us disciplined. When we talk about service and we talk about dreams and we talk about mission, the truth of that really is we need that North Star to get us out of our funks. We need that North Star to get us out of bed. We need that North Star and a connection to it to organize ourselves. I don't think we have to solve. I have a focus problem. Cause you know what? I bet your focus problem is one reason your clients think this guy's pretty creative. I bet you come up with a lot of different solutions and tools and frameworks that help people. Oh, yeah, it's a wonderful thing. Now, what we just have to do is have that. Why? That thing that's going to organize you, and I think you told us a little about it. You know, transformation often starts with truth. And what's the truth that will happen if you don't handle this a little better? Because it sounds like we're already having some repercussions.

Oh, yeah.

What do you think that. What is that ultimate truth that you don't want to happen? That would. If we don't get this handled a little better.

Oh, I'm gonna lose my college sweetheart who took my breath away the first time I met her. It's scary. Good night.

Good night. So with that emotion, now tell me why you're not gonna let that happen.

I guess because I can't.

Why aren't you, like, why won't you let it happen?

Why won't I let.

What's so important about her and you two together?

She's all I've ever known. I was 19 years old, and we, despite my best efforts, raised two amazing kids. I'm not sure how we did that, but I tried like hell to screw them up, but it didn't work.

Hey, it's Brendan. I'm bopping in here real fast for you to urge you to go to hpxwellness.com and check out our products to help you get more of that, make Mental focus and energy. You need to stay at your best, to deliver with excellence, to feel like vibrant again. Because I know we all struggle with mental fatigue and mental focus. We all sometimes get tired and sometimes we're worried about our overall health. And so I created three specific products to help you with that. Go to hpxwellness.com check out our nutrition line, and let's get you to high performance, baby. HPX wellness.com.

Sometimes discipline, sometimes distraction is really a disconnection on a daily basis of what matters, what's important for me today to ensure I don't screw up this relationship and this life. What matters today? What matters today, not what big ideas, not what matters today for me to save this thing, for me to contribute to this thing. Because that why? Listen, all everybody in this room, you had a demand on yourself. And the hardest thing about high performers and coaches, especially those who are creative, either that demand gets put on us or we have to find and access that demand with purpose. Service, saving a relationship, being a better role model for the kids. I'm not so worried about you being distracted during the day. I'm worried about you having disconnected mornings from what matters. I need you to have that morning of connection with what matters. I need you to sit there and carve the time to go. Let me meditate on why I love her so much, on why I will fight for her so much, on why I'll be a good role model for these kids. Cause you're the one who has to put that demand on yourself. Not fear it will happen over here, but to put the demand on ourselves in the morning and it's not comfortable because no one loves that demand. But if you don't put it on yourself on the daily, you lose the week. And then you say, I'm unfocused. Nah, you didn't put the demand on yourself on the daily. It's why even me, a very unfocused guy, I have that card. Who needs me on my A game. I look at that every day before I work. Who needs me on my A game. And I know that if I'm not on my A game, people get hurt. My family gets hurt, my team gets hurt. And I won't let that happen. And I feel that emotion, that strength in you. You won't let it happen either. You won't let it happen. Not if you touch it every day, not if you did what we just did, not if you go, I will not lose her. She means the world to me. These kids who I didn't Screw up. God bless them. Let me earn them now. Cause you know what? Maybe they're so good to make you start earning them now.

Absolutely.

So now tell me with that, Matt. You're my coach.

My name is Coach.

I'm Brendan.

Hi, Brendan. I'm Matt.

Matt. I'm struggling with daily discipline and focus, and I've done my best to screw up some relationships, and, man, I don't know what I should do. What do you think I should do? What would you tell me to do? From your heart? Not what I said, from your heart. From your heart. Tell me.

I would ask you, what do you really want? And make sure that you know what that is? And then I would say, okay, how are you going to get that? What is it going to take? And if you've identified these things that are getting in your way, who can support you? Who can help you? What structures can you put in place?

And what if you tell me all that and I don't do it? But what do I do then? You got it.

Well, that's what we just discussed. Get focused in the morning so that you focus on the day so you don't lose the week.

Mm.

Which is pretty powerful statement.

Walk with me a minute. So hold that microphone up for you. Let's walk. Yeah, just hold it. Oh, okay. We're walking and talking now. Matt, I'm your buddy. We're gonna go out on Saturday. Cool. And, Matt, we're friends. And I'm gonna tell you my relationships and the shit are a little bit buddy. And it's not going so good at work, you know?

Yeah.

What do I need to do, you know?

Well, Brendan, what do you want to do? Do you. I mean, if it's not going good at work, is it? Is it work if it's not going good at home? Do you want to be with her? Is that important?

She's the most important.

Well, then you're gonna have to fight for her.

Let's go, let's go, let's go. It's Matt, ladies and gentlemen. You got it. That was it.

Appreciate it. Amazing.

What was it? All right.

Hey, it's Brendan. I hope you enjoyed that episode, and I hope it helped you reach another level of high performance in your life, whether it's just a shift in your mindset or shift in your habits or a shift in your intention for the day. I really honor you for listening to the Brendon show, and I'm deeply thankful. So could you do me a favor? Could you just go onto itunes or Apple podcasts and and rate and review this episode or any of our episodes. And also while you're there to help me just download the last five episodes too onto your phone. Because you know, Apple really cares about the downloads and the rating and reviews. And I've never really asked for that in six years of podcasting. And finally my friends convinced me to ask you to do that for me. I've never asked anything with my podcast community ever, but I really, really appreciate if you could do that. Also, if you would like some more in depth training, please don't forget that every single month I go live for two hours and teach new and original personal development, research new frameworks to my entire virtual community in our HPX coaching program. And you can just go to hpxcoaching.com that's hpxcoaching.com to learn all about the different options there. But listen, I'm live two hours every single month with literally thousands of high achievers from around the world who tune in to get these new frameworks for reaching high performance in their life. Sometimes we talk about relationships, sometimes we talk about breaking bad habits. Sometimes we talk about achieving another level of confidence or discipline or goal attainment. But we are there every single month. And I'd love for you to join us. Just go to hpxcoaching to see all of your options and really join us. Dedicate yourself to personal mastery. Dedicate yourself to this journey. Not just once in a while with an episode here or there or a book there, but literally a program that could change your life. It's called HPX Coaching and you can go to hpxcoaching.com until next time my friends, please remember every single day you can choose to be average or ordinary or just kind of go through the motions. Or you can be more intentional, more disciplined, more excellence driven what you do. Because you know you need to serve those you love and those that you lead. You can choose to be extraordinary. So my friends, go out there today and be extraordinary.

Sam.