Unleash Your Champion Mindset

You have to realize confidence is not something you have. Good energy is not something you have. Happiness is not something you have. It doesn't exist. It's something you choose to summon. So if you're sitting on the couch and feeling bad, don't hope that purpose lands on you. Don't hope that joy lands on you. Don't hope that confidence. It doesn't land on you randomly. What happens is you go, oh, I need to focus my attention and my awareness. I need to bring my full presence towards this outcome in which I want right now. My outcome which I want right now is presence or energy or confidence. And then you have to your mindset, oh, I have to summon that. I have to ask what is within me? What is the strength within me? What is it that I want to achieve? And move out here. Happy growth day. Today is a great day to start with. A good attitude, some good energy. You know, it's so funny how easy it is to lose your confidence when things are going crazy, when you're busy, when you know, the kids aren't getting along, when you're struggling with your spouse or your partner. So we're here to give a little bit of goodness and a little bit of joy. I'm joined by none other than Jamie Kern Lima. Hi, Jamie.

Hello. Good morning. Happy birthday. Good morning, everyone.

Hi, everybody. I hope that you had a great restful night of sleep and you're excited every day. We're talking about personal development. We're trying to give you some tactical idea, some framework, something you can do to go, oh, let me measure myself in this way. Let me improve myself in this way. Let me be a better mom. Let me better dad. Let me be a better leader. Let me be. It's like, we want that encouragement. Also the, you know, the accountability and the empowerment part too, that. Because I think what's important right now when you go through hard times. I'm rereading biography of Churchill right now, and I just finished.

Of course you are. Okay, keep going.

Oh, yeah, I love leadership books, y'. All. I love biographies of great leaders. And I'm reading about, you know, in May of 41, right at the end of Churchill's first year, the worst of the Blitz came. So the Nazis were bombarding London and actually all around England. And, you know, they, you know, 40,000 people that year were killed and just from aircraft assault from Nazi Germany into London. And I'm reading about how difficult that time was and how Churchill navigated this tough area of how do you be empathetic and Factual about how difficult it is and how do you still somehow figure out. How do you still demand people rise to the occasion and feel, like, undaunted or unrelenting or, you know, unbreakable? And I feel like I want to bring a little of that edge in. I want you to have, like, there has to be a side of you that switches from, like, to resolve to make your life better. That moment of switch sometimes is an epiphany. You wake up, you'll be happier. Other for me, it was a car accident. For other people, it's just like something that, that goes, hey, don't, you know, like, confidently approach your dreams, confidently build your life even when it does suck, don't give up. I don't know. He did it so well. About just unrelenting resolve to win as London's being bombed for a year. I mean, to think about that, that's audacious. That seems so not normal. But confidence says I'm not going to give up no matter what happens. And I'm going to push myself to rise through this situation. And I hope people do that right now because I see the discouragement in the comments every day we hear people are just so sad, so frustrated, so hurt. But don't give up. Don't give up.

Brendan, when you talk about Churchill and you talk about having that resolve, that audacious resolve, that almost, you know, vision for something bigger than yourself, that confidence, even in the midst of a really, really hard season, and whether it's Churchill or it's every person like you, like me, like everyone in the comments, right? I just saw Maddie comment saying, I just need hope right now, right? So, so important for every one of us to even spend this, this time. And you know, we're here live for 30 minutes Monday through Friday in the morning, 7:30 Pacific. But even if you hop in for five minutes, right. You know, I just think that being around is contagious. We don't all have that inside our homes. We don't have that inside our communities. And also some of us that are really used to having that, everyone else that maybe poured into us, that energy and that joy, they're going through hard times right now too, right? So it's just overall a big hard time. But Brendan, for each and every person right now, what is your advice and maybe even what you're getting out of what you're reading now, but everything else, how do you summon that? How do you summon that, that, that confidence and that vision for something bigger than yourself and that, you know, to take you out of just the hard season around you that you're going through, how does every person on an everyday level, sitting in their living room do that?

Just, you know, it's so funny. I was. You all know I love coaching, and part of coaching is always the person who just asked the question, almost always answered it. And so your question was, how do you. How do people summon that? And in that question is the answer, which is, you have to realize confidence is not something you have. Good energy is not something you have. Happiness is not something you have. It doesn't exist. It's something you choose to summon. So if you're sitting on the couch and feeling bad, don't hope that purpose lands on you. Don't hope that joy lands on you. Don't hope that confidence. It doesn't land on you randomly. What happens is you go, oh, I need to focus my attention and my awareness. I need to bring my full presence towards this outcome in which I want right now. My outcome which I want right now is presence or energy or confidence. And then you have to. Your mindset has to be, oh, I have to summon that. I have to ask what is within me? What is the strength within me? What is it that I want to achieve and move out here? And for those who don't know, and you just need hope, sometimes it's just as simple as writing down your vision or your goals or your dream or that house that you want down the street or that thing that you want over here. And, like, just thinking about it and looking at and going, okay, how would I have to show up to have that? What would I need to do today to move towards that? What could I. What small step could I take to inch me towards that right now? Okay, small step. Turn off tv, stop the scroll, write down the goal, do this thing over here. Like small things enacted. See, confidence so often comes from capability. Capability comes from competence. Competence comes from consistency, right? You develop greater. Like, it's almost just like you want to feel better. Get momentum, babe. Get a little momentum behind you again, small steps, small actions, a little momentum, a little breath behind the sales. And all of a sudden you're like, oh, I'm moving towards this thing. I'm feeling a little better. You know, it doesn't matter if it's cleaning up the house or starting a new launch or doing the thing. Get a little momentum behind. And then remind yourself consistently of that bigger picture. Remind yourself, like, for me, I have to look at something. I'm very visual, as you know, so I. I've got charts and diagrams and dreams and all this stuff all pinned to this little board over here. And I got to stand and I. I'm always telling degrothe this. I know they're going to. Sometimes I stand in front of every day for five minutes. Even today, when I was so busy before we got on, I stood before five minutes so I can see. Oh, this goal, that thing, that dream. Here's my calendar. That's what makes me happy. All right? That makes me happy. That makes me confident. Okay? That makes me. Okay. And if I'm taking it in every day, I'm a mot. Think about this. If I'm a professional at this, guys, I'm literally paid to do this work. And I still have to stand in front of a board to motivate myself, to remind myself of what the fundamentals are in personal development. To be happy or confident. I'm guessing everybody else should be doing it too. You know what I mean? So what about you, though? Because you know much. How do you summon.

Well, and I think. What? Yeah, I think for me, I have to keep it about something bigger than myself, no matter what I do. I mean, I remember, you know, one story where after three years of hearing no from qvc, right? So I had created this business in my living room, got down to no money in our account, kept sending my products to all the retailers for years, and finally got one shot on qvc. And it's a long story which I'll share for another day, but in that moment when I had this one shot, it was this 10 minute window and I knew, oh my gosh, if this goes well, this could change everything, right? It could open doors for my whole company. If this doesn't go well, I'm out of business and I'm bankrupt. And it was this one moment, and not to oversimplify the moment, but it really came down to me not making it about myself. And what I mean by that is, you know, QVC, you're live in front of 100 million homes, right? And I remember, yeah, and there's no script. There's no script, there's no teleprompter. Uh, it's you and the host. And then, you know, in my case, because I was in the beauty space, there's models that are going to model product. And it was a moment where I had risked everything because for three years from, from all the department stores across the country, they all said no to carrying my products and said, you need to have models that look a specific way. And I Kept fighting for this idea because no one was really doing this at the time. I'm like, what if we use all different, you know, women, all ages and shapes and sizes and skin tones and skin challenges and, and, and, and, and me, I'll take my own makeup off and show my rosacea, right? I have a skin condition called rosacea. I'm like, let's, let's shift culture and beauty and really try to redefine it. This was my bigger vision because I realized all growing up, like, I love these ads. I would see these commercials, but at the end of the day, and I always aspired to look at them, but to look like them. But at the end of the day, they always made me feel as a little girl, like I wasn't enough, right? So I had this big vision, big vision of, ok, let me try to show all different types of people as models, call them beautiful, mean it. Shift culture for every little girl out there who's about to start doubting herself, every grown person who does. So I'm pitching this over and everyone's saying no, that this is never going to work for three years. And part of how I kept confidence in that journey was just knowing, okay, this is bigger than me. Like this, this vision of why I want to do this is bigger than me. If it would have just been, oh, I want to make some money, or, oh, I want to. Those are great goals.

So key.

So key, right? And I kept that vision bigger always to keep that confidence because, like, it's not about me. And it came down to this one moment. Literally. Probably one of the most important moments in my journey was this. Finally got A yes after three years of hearing no, and got this one 10 minute spot live on QVC. And I made the decision to. There's third party experts out there, consultants you can hire. And they all told me the best advice, which was probably the right advice, because it's all that it ever worked, which was use these kind of models that have perfect skin. But I went with my gut because it was like, okay, you know, I want to do something bigger than myself if I'm going to get one shot. I'd rather fail miserably and stand for something.

Yeah, miserably and stand for something. Wow. Write that one down, y' all cap for that somewhere, would you? I'd rather fail miserably and stand for something.

Stand for something. But, you know, it's hard in those moments. And I remember that the 10 minute window. And why I'm bringing this up is because for me it's that vision. I love coming after Vision Week and Growth in Morning show and going into Confidence Week. Because I think whether it's something like what I'm describing with your business, or it could be something really small, like a personal health goal, it could be anything. But I think having confidence in that journey is part of it for me. Is this bigger than myself, right? And so I remember the moment that the 10 minute clock came up and we were about to go live and I had that one shot, right? And if we didn't do well, we were done. We never would be invited back and we had to hit the sales goal. And at the time, I was only selling two to three orders a day on our website. After three years into building the company and we were down to under $1,000 in our bank account and whole thing. And I took that risk of going, okay, I'm going to stick with my vision. And there was one moment, Brendan, when the cameras went live, and it was this 10, this 10 minutes, my one shot, you know what I mean? It was my one shot. And I remember thinking, like, for a split second, I went back in my head to making it about me. For a second I was like, is my dress too tight? I felt like sweat dripping down my Spanx. I was like, what? And I was like, oh, no, no. If I get in my head and make this about me done, like, this is so much bigger than myself. And I had to make it not about me. And boom, in my own head, I had to shift to, why am I here? Why am I doing what I'm doing? And it was, you know, my bigger vision of, oh my gosh, even if nobody buys anything and they flip on their TV and they see me showing, you know, Helen in her 70s, all my different models, all ages, shape sizes, skin tone, skin like, and calling them beautiful, meaning it. And no one buys anything like that. Maybe I can at least shift culture a little bit around inclusivity. So that was the vision I had to keep. But I just remember that moment because if I went back into myself and made it about me and thought it was about me, I'd be done. I would have been done and I would have never been able to authentically connect.

Because you tapped into, what do you stand for? And you tapped in for something that you believed in, something that's important. You know, for those who've been in our community a long time. You know, I teach people to put a card next to their computer that says, who needs me on my A game today? Because many of you. Just like Jamie's experience, you'll do more for other people than you do for yourselves. People hope that one day they overcome their insecurities by some magical, mindful epiphany trick. And I'm like, actually, you want to overcome your insecurities, Go fight for someone. You want to overcome your stuff, Go serve at a higher level that demands that you overcome your stuff so you can serve others. Like, I would say, like, that's why I always seek leadership roles. Like, when you have to serve other people and inspire other people, lead other people, it makes you confront those parts of yourself that you are insecure about. Or more often, it's insecurity just from lack of inexperience. And so as you get out in motion, you're like, oh, I know this more. It's more familiar to me. I'm more comfortable with it. I'm more comfortable at it. I like it more when I do good. I like it more when I do good. I'm winning. I'm winning. I got some momentum now. I'm more confident because I'm more capable. I have more competence. So I'm going to try new things. I try new things, I learn more things, I gain more confidence. It's like it's going for it. But a huge part of that, that inflection point is that bigger vision, that bigger dream, that higher level of service, what you need to do. Many people like I, for me, you know, we talk a lot about finances on the show in some way or another. And I never had a financial goal. I wish I did. At the beginning, I just, I was around people who were like, surviving. So I had like a survival mindset. I just need to survive. That was all. That was where I grew up. That's what it was about. There wasn't like an aspirational, like, financial thing in my entire community. And so I, I just didn't, I didn't have that. And then I went to San Francisco and actually before that I went to college, worked three jobs full time at, in college, barely. I don't even know how or when I ever slept. And I just remember seeing people show up and they had, you know, kids, their parents bought them cars. And I was like, oh, my God, your parent bought you a car? I couldn't. I was like, what? Or I met kids who, their parents bought them tuition. I was like, someone paid for your school? Like, these were so mind boggling to me. And still even seeing a lot, I still never set financial goals. And then I met Denise And I started thinking, oh, what do I want our life to be about? What do I want our life to be about? And I started going, oh, you know what? I need to have a bigger vision here because I want us to go places and to go places and have fun together. I'm going to have to earn more. And I was like, oh, okay. And I started saying, okay. And I had a lot of insecurity around money. And I thought, oh, I'm just going to face that. And the best way to face that is just get in motion and try to figure and learn it out. Because what I want to do is be a provider. What I want to do is create abundance for us. What I want to do is serve more people. And you know what? Serving more people will help me earn more, too. And so it just, like, was this mindset shift that probably would if I. I literally think back if I'd never met Denise, I can't imagine me having ever bestselling books or big courses or anything. One, because she put so much love in my heart that I served from a place of love. And that's a big piece. Another one. Because I wanted to do good for our family. And that gave me the confidence, like, okay, if I want to do good for the family. Show up today. Show up today. You have a dream. You want to care for your wife, your husband, your partner, your team, someone else. Show up for them today. Who needs you today. Jamie was like, I'm gonna. She was standing on values and service to those values. You can stand on your dream, your vision, a family member, someone you want to take care of, a cause you want to give to. But the most important thing is every day, put that thing in your head. Every morning, put that thing in the head in the moments of matter, like she was talking about, or like, Jamie and I also talk about, like, burnout and fatigue and tired. Like, when she's in this big launch for Believe it, her new book, it's like, okay, gotta show up. It's just like, it sucks. You're tired. Still gotta show up. That's just part of every day. Show up because you have this outcome in mind. Show up because you want to do this thing for other people. Show up, show up, show up, show up. All right.

And when you say, who needs? I know we're going to wrap up, but one more thing to add quickly. When you say, who needs you on your A game today, I just want to say this like, it may not be a friend or family member or loved one. It may be Someone. Someone in the future who's going to need your story. It might be someone in the future who's going to need to hear what you're going through right now and how you got through it so that they can believe it's possible for them to get through it, too. So the person. Right, you might be alone right now, but the person who needs you on your A game, you may not even have met yet. Right. And sometimes thinking about that, because every single one of us, no matter our struggles, no matter what we're going through right now, no matter our setbacks, someone is going to need our story down the road. And that. That might be the person for someone, Someone with us right now who. Who needs you on your A game. So keep that in mind, too, because sometimes we don't see it around us at the moment.

Yeah. Future people you can help who are inspired by the fact that you rose despite these circumstances.

Yeah.

That you know you're. That. That you took the heroic journey when it was hard to. You took the heroic journey by showing up and continue to believe and continue to make some momentum every single day, even when it was difficult. That's a beautiful thing, Jamie. That's so good. Everyone out there facing any major challenge or discouragement, please remember you're stronger than you think and the future holds good things for you. Every day is a good day to grow, and we love doing it with you. Thanks, Jamie. Awesome session today.