What My Dad Taught Me About Life

If you had to give the commencement address to 15,000 university students as they were about to charge out into life and contribute and make their difference and leave their mark, what would you say? What is your life philosophy that you would like to teach other people to have? You know, just some simple rules, some simple principles about life that you would love others to have in their own lives, to live a meaningful life, to live a fully charged life? I mean, what's your life philosophy that you would share with other people? Have you ever thought about that? Now, maybe you get asked to speak, or maybe you're always asked for your advice. It's just nice when you develop your own little philosophy that you can share with people over and over and over again, because that becomes part of your mission. It becomes part of your message to other people. It's what your legacy becomes. It's what people carry on after you're gone. It's what they remember you for, is when you impart specific things like that. You know, I lost my dad in 2009 to acute leukemia. It was AML, they call it acute myeloid leukemia. It's a very fast, unfortunate disease. It really takes your body from diagnosis to death. We were with dad for 59 days. I mean, it was just like, boom. And what I remember about my dad is so many of our great moments together and so much of our fun and so many of the amazing, extraord extraordinary experiences we had together, and mostly just the simplicity of hanging out and being around and some of his life lessons. But, you know, before he passed away, when he was in the hospital and going through chemo, I called him and I said, hey, dad, I'm coming on my way down there, but could I interview you? Because I was honestly scared I might not get there before he passed away or something. So he says, okay. So I literally called him and I interviewed him and I asked him about life. I asked him on the phone and I recorded it. And, you know, it's one of my most treasured things in my life, is having his voice from the interview. And I just asked him lots of questions about life. And what came out of it was so much of his life philosophy. And nothing was new. It wasn't like he had all these new insights towards the end of his life. He was saying these things to us throughout his life. And I realized he had this philosophy. He was always saying in one way or another, but in one direct statement, he kind of spoke, streamed them all together on the call and it was like, wow. And his thing was, you Know, he had these things he was always saying. The first thing he was always saying is, be yourself. You know, he's always telling us kids, you know, just be yourself. Be who you are. Do what feels right for you. You know, he really wanted us to be our unique self. He didn't want us to be, you know, carbon copies of everybody else. He's just like, really be yourself. He would always say that in certain ways. He'd inscribe it in books that I have from him. I'd say, you know, hey, son, you know, be yourself. And, wow, you know, he always said that. He also said, be honest. Tell the truth. Be honest and direct and straightforward and explicit with people. You know, it was just such a simple, simple thing. But how many of us, sometimes we just. We tell little lies that we don't need to tell, or we say things we. Like, why did I say that? Wasn't even true. And it's just about bringing top of mind and paying attention to what we're saying. And be honest. Even when it's hard, even when you might be held accountable for it. To always be honest. I mean, he always said, do your best. Whatever you're gonna do, do your best. Know that you gave your all. Just do it with excellent care that it goes right, you know, care that you've done a good job for yourself, but also for other people. Just do your best. Know that you gave. And it was always amazing. I was saying, do your best. He was always saying, take care of your family. You know, love your brother, love your sister, love your mother. Even as he was going through his third treatment of chemo, it just wasn't working. You know, he kept telling me, he's like, take care of your mother. Take care of your mother. Take care of your mother. He was always thinking about taking care of family, you know, he was always that person in the family who was strong and would care for others and lend people money. Just be there for him, whatever you could do. Take care of the family. He also said, treat people with respect. You know, always be that person. Treat people with respect. Know that everyone's going through a hard journey in life, that you never know their story. Just be nice to people, be kind, have some courtesy. He always saying that. Just have some courtesy, you know, have some compassion. It was always about treating other people respect respectfully, our elders, but also those younger than us, everybody on our team, just our family. Treat people with respect, treat your neighbors with respect. He was always saying that over and over and over. He also was always saying, be A good citizen. You know, be active in your community. You know, go vote. Care about taxes. Care about how much we pay our teachers. Care about the important things that are shaping the world. Read the news. You know, he's always reading the newspaper every morning. He just loved his newspapers. Be a good citizen. Be active. Be informed. Do something good for your society, for your culture. He cared about those things, you know, it was amazing. And I think the last recurrent theme he was always saying is, follow your dreams. Always follow your dreams. Know what you want and follow them, even if it's hard. You know, chart your own path. Do the things that are important to you. You know, don't let off of your dreams just because it got hard. Fight for those things. Follow your dreams. Keep following your intuition. Keep following where life is taking you, but know where you want to take life. Follow your dreams. Those were things my dad said. And when I think about my dad, I think about those things in one way or another. You know, I think about how he embodied them. I think about the experiences or the things where I screwed my life and he teach me them or. Or he'd just remind me as I was going off to do something, or he'd say something. We'd write an inscription in a book or write a note or a card, birthday cards. And I carry his message with me. People will carry your message with you. So what do you want to say? We all have to develop life philosophy. You know, I have a life philosophy. It's simple. It's like four things for me. It's like I carry all my dad's message and I'm always sharing his message, but I'm developing my own, too, as I'm living my life. And I think about, you know, my life philosophy is, first and foremost is like, be thankful for all that you have and all that you are. Just be thankful. Be thankful for this moment. Be thankful for the gifts you've been given in your life. I'm so thankful for the time I got to spend with my dad. I mean, I wish he was here longer, but I'm extraordinarily thankful for the time I did have. I'm thankful that I had a dad. I know people, some people, they don't have a father figure or they didn't get to spend much time. I was lucky, you know, I got to have him for 30 years of my life. You know, I feel extraordinarily blessed by that. And I had a good one, and I'm thankful for that. I hope that you're thankful for Your family, your friends, the people who love you. The moment, the gifts, the strengths, all the blessings that you've been given by God, by creator, by universe, by nature, by dumb luck. Whatever you believe, have gratitude for that. It will bring happiness and joy and engagement with your life. It will give you sense of soul and depth to life. When you have more gratitude for me, I also believe, you know, work hard for all that you desire. If you desire something, work hard for it. I mean, really work for it. If it's important to you, work for it. Never forget when you knock on the door of opportunity that it is work. Who answers? You want change, you want something new. You want a better quality of life? Discipline will be required. Work, strength, you know, really just. I mean, it's that grit, that sweat, that time, that effort, that consistency and that constancy of effort towards their dreams. That stuff. It's work and be proud of it. So many days, people, they blow my mind today. They're so. They're so anti work. Oh, I hate work. It's like, okay, well then do different work, but find something and work towards it. Like, you should be proud giving a day's work. You should be proud. When you go home, you're wiped out. You're exhausted from giving your all that day, something that you found important and meaningful and purposeful. And when you go to bed at night, you're fatigued. Not fatigued because you hated it and fought it all day. Fatigued because you live joyously. That day you go to bed peacefully because you gave all. You're spent, but not spent forever. You're just. That day, it was full, it was awesome. It was magnificent. You're ready for sleep. You know, you got to work like that. I believe that's my life philosophy anyway. My third thing is be intentional in who you are becoming. See, by my dad giving me those life philosophies, he was saying, basically, you know, pay attention to these things and that will make you happy. It'll make you a better person. And I think we have to be very intentional about who we are. Are we intentional with how we greet our lover or our spouse at night after a long day's work? Are we intentional about what we're telling our kids? Are we intentional about how courageous and strong and confident a person we're becoming? Are we hoping, oh, one day maybe I'll be happy and courageous and strong? No, no, no, no, no. Those things, you generate them with intention, right? I would say the power plant doesn't have energy, it generates energy. We have to have the intention to be something and to live into that intention, to activate that intention in the world, to bring initiative to that intention. And that is all about paying attention to who are we becoming? Are we becoming rude little brat spoiled bastards? Are we becoming just service driven, excellent, giving, loving, accomplished human beings to move towards the things that we care about? We're becoming something. Are we paying attention to what we're becoming? And my last one is love and respect others on this journey. You know, it's like love others because that's why we're here. I think about my dad's ultimate legacy. There's no question it was the love that he had for us kids. You know, he did lots of cool things in his life. He gave lots, he worked his ass off. He did 20 plus years in the Marines, he did three tours in Vietnam, got all shut up, came back, helped recruit people into the, into the military. Even when at that time the military was not popular because he believed in being a good citizen. Serving his country, his country gave him so much he was trying to give back. And I think about all of these things he did and he accomplished, he gave, he created from building sheds and bird houses to, you know, teaching us kids to golf. But what comes back over, over and over and over again was love. And I hope that in some way we are dedicated and disciplined thinking about how much we love other people. To be a grand amplifier of this divine energy around us, that is love. To give it and direct it towards other people so they feel, they feel adored and appreciated by us. I mean, are you doing that? Are you adoring and appreciating other people on a consistent basis? They know how you feel about them, they know that their priorities, they know that you deeply care for them and their well being and who they are. That's living a different quality of life. That's magic. And when you just, I think again, have that intention to do all these things that we've talked about, maybe some of these things inspired your life philosophy, maybe you already have your own. But I hope you'll do one thing, go share your life philosophy. Whether it's 15,000 people at a commencement address one day or you know, it's five people at lunch or your buddies at dinner, or, or it's your kids or it's the people that you lead. Share your life philosophy, that's your message, that's what people will remember. And if you live that life philosophy, each day you wake up, you have that goal, you have that dream to live your life philosophy. It activates everything in you. You can't wait to wake up tomorrow because that enthusiasm to live, that philosophy pulls you into the future. It pulls you into that style of life. And you feel so remarkable because you're aimed again, you're intentional again. And that's what it feels like to live the charge life.