When to Quit

Foreign. Hey, my friends, it's Brendan Burchard. And welcome to the Brendan Show. This is a podcast about helping you reach high performance in your life, in every area of your life. It's about staying more motivated, more confident, more disciplined and on purpose. You know, the high performance experience is really about feeling more vibrant, more connected, more excellent, more fulfilled in your life. But it's also challenging you because you and I both know it's difficult to reach those levels of high performance without support, without ongoing commitment and dedication to your own personal development. So welcome to our HPX community. Thank you for joining us here on the Brendon Show. I'm super pumped for today's episode. Before we begin, I want to let you know that we have specials right now on our HPX nutrition line. If you didn't know it, I rolled out three specific products to help you with your performance. These are three specific supplements that will really give you the edge. Now, don't worry, I'm not starting an MLM or a downline. I'm not asking you to promote any of my products. And frankly, just like you, there's a lot of different companies and a lot of different products that I love and I enjoy and I'm not trying to compete with. It was specifically, I could not find three world class supplements that specifically helped me in these areas. So we've got HPX Optimize, which is a mental focus and energy product for your brain health. Then we've got Essentials, which is a functional multivitamin which we've basically enhanced for longevity, for joint health and for vitality and digestion. But what we did, instead of like making a multivitamin where they sprinkled a million different things in there that actually have no effect, we put in dosages here that you'll be amazed by. And then finally we've got HPX Organic Boost, which is the energy drink mix that I take because it's 100% organic. Organic. It's actually delicious too, I have to tell you that. So go check it out. Hpxwellness.com, everything you need to know is right there. And if you've ever wanted to know how to reach the high performance experience in terms of your biology and physiology, these products can really support you. Go to hpxwellness.com and without further ado, onto today's episode, number one, Advanced Habits. Quit the wrong thing. Now, this one surprised me. When you talk with the world's highest performers, they have a pretty obvious pattern of quitting and frankly, they quit faster than other people. And it is a habit. It is an actual observable pattern. And when I did our structured interviews through the High Performance Institute with these people, it was so obvious that they were very conscious of what was wrong for them and what was right for them. And when it was wrong, man, they cut and run. They were gone out of that situation. I mean, it was fast. Most of us, because we want to be good people and we want to be thorough and perfectionist and our follow through, it's important we learn all those things. And perseverance is everything we're taught, right? Yes, that's true. And perseverance is very important to initial success, but long term success, you know, it's kind of like when you're going for your initial level of success, you say yes to almost everything because you're learning about yourself, what's right for you, what's wrong for you. You're taking on new opportunities to see how they pan out. But once you have that baseline level of success and you want to go up there to a new level, you got to start sorting and deleting faster than other people usually do. You know, most people hang on to things too long. They hang on to regret too long. Anger too long. Hurt. They hang on to it too long. They hang on to a business idea that just isn't right for them. It's not bringing passion or joy or. Or income. Hang on to it too long. And I share, this is an advanced thing because quitting is terrifying. It's scary. And identifying something as the wrong thing takes a lot of guts. Because then you got to admit, man, I've been focused on the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing with the wrong person, the wrong people. It takes a high level of psychological courage to admit when we're in the wrong thing because it'd be easy for us to be vulnerable and say, well, I'm so stupid. I can't believe I spent so many years here. But a habit that high performers had and really inspired me was they quit the wrong things and they quit it fast. And it wasn't because they're quitters. It's because they were focused on that which really matters. Make a difference. Like a quitter is just. A quitter is somebody who just quits because it got difficult. This is not about difficulty. It's about right and wrong. You follow? They're not quitting because there was hardship there. Look, high performers honor the struggle. They're cool with struggle. They know struggle is part of the journey to become excellent at anything. Struggle is not why they're quitting. Right? And progress is not necessarily they're quitting too. Like, I've done a lot of things that there was no initial progress towards. And everyone said, brendan, quit that. So you can't quit just because it's hard, and you can't quit just because you're not getting progress there. That high performers had a different way of thinking about when and why to quit. But it was very obvious. I mean, sitting down with them and walking through this. I even asked many of them, I said, tell me about some things you've quit in the last five years. And they had like this laundry list of things. And most people would identify them as a quitter, but what they were was an ex. They were. Think about it like a quitter quits because of hardship. But there's another quitter who quits because of priority, because of distinction of what really matters. They're willing to let go what's not right because they know if they don't, the universe can't maybe open up a new field for them to play in. Right. Sometimes if we're stuck doing the wrong thing, the universe doesn't open up some white space for us to discover the right thing. It's how many people say, you know, quitting that job was the best thing I ever did. They say, because their job was okay. It's not like it was bad. That was my story, if you know my story. In 2006, I left a great corporate job. I was climbing, I was having great success. I was engaged. It was a great job. There was nothing wrong with it. It just wasn't the ultimate right thing for me. And I knew it. I could see some partners, lives at the company I was working at, and I was like, I don't want their life. So climbing up to their level wasn't my thing. I had been there long enough. I'd spent six years, and I got a real good perspective. Lots of training, met amazing people. Some of the most extraordinary people I met my entire life. Great company, had a great time. The company was called Accenture, one of the world's largest consulting companies. Fantastic experience. I didn't quit that because it was wrong, because there was something wrong with the company or the people or the projects. It wasn't right enough for me. That makes sense. You got to find what is right enough for you. And only you know that. You can't listen to your friends and your family. This is another thing I learned from the peers in high performance. They didn't make these decisions to quit. Because everybody around them thought it was a great idea. When I told people around me I was quitting, my job especially, I had been blessed to get a lot of mentorship. And people were putting on the partner track I was climbing, they're like, you're quitting to do what? I'm like, write a book. Like, write a book. Isn't that gonna take a while? Like, I don't know. I've never done it, but I feel like I need to do that. What kind of book? It's gonna be a fiction, a parable, you know. The book was called Life's Golden Ticket. And they're like, have you ever written fiction? I'm like, no. Well, how do you know how to do that? I don't. And you're leaving this thing that is secure and good for this thing that you don't know anything about? I'm like, yeah. And they thought I was crazy. But I tell people, I go, there is time. You got time. We don't think that we have time. Cause we're impatient. And in our world today, you got time. If you're in the wrong thing, get out of the wrong thing. Because you got time to find things. Now, I know some people say, well, Brendan, I can't just quit because I have financial responsibilities. I go, I know I have the same thing. So what I had to do is find some of the right things and start earning a little bit over there. I'd focus just a little bit of time over here, earn a little bit over there. Now, I was earning way more over here, but I'd find these things I was more passionate about. We'll talk about that. And I started earning just a little bit. And I thought, you know, I'm spending all the time over here. If I spent less time here, this would rise. Maybe not equal, but it would rise for me. I knew my number. I thought, if my side gig can earn 15% of what I'm earning over here, I'm bailing because I'm spending 100% of my time over here. And I'm doing this over here between, like, you know, 9pm and 3am so if 100% of the time is earning this, and only, like, a little bit of time is earning this, well, what if I gave this all of my time now? Maybe it wouldn't equal this, but would it be enough to buy a big burrito every day? That was, like, my measure in San Francisco. I was like, can I get one of those huge burritos that I can kind of Munch on all day, because that's all I really need. Now, I know the health fanatics are. Brendan, you're so much healthier than just eating burritos all day. But, you know, I was busted. And that was like. I was like, if I could buy a burrito every day, you know, or the equivalent of groceries for a burrito every day, then, you know, I'll be fine. I don't need a lot. I'll strip it all down to find what's right for me and cut loose of what I know is good. But you know what? If it's good, but it's not really good enough for your heart and soul, then it is wrong. And it is okay to say it's wrong. Everyone else around you say, you can't leave a good thing. And I say, you know what? I know the good thing. There's nothing wrong with the good thing. It's just not the right thing enough for what my heart and soul is telling me. High performers leave that which is not right enough for them fast. And I was surprised how decisive they were in it. I said, how'd you make that decision? They go, I just knew. I said, well, did you let it play out? They said, let it play out loud. Yeah, I played it out long enough. I said, well, how did you know when to, like, cut ties or burn the boats or quit that thing? They go, just knew. Now I had to get a little deeper. And that's what I want to share with you of how did they know? So here's what I want you to do. Number one, identify what makes you bored or miserable. Okay? What makes you bored or miserable. And then that which makes you come alive. Now, here's what I found out from the high performers. A lot of them quit that which was boring or miserable without knowing their passions. Let me say it again. We all believe in our life that we don't start something new unless that's my passion, that's my dream. I'm supposed to do that, and it's like I'm a whole soul. That's my difference. Brendan. No, a lot of people don't know their passions, but quit that which is not fulfilling. You don't have to know every step along the way. The uncertainty is fine. But if you are certain that this thing that you are doing is boring, bail. If you are sure it is making you miserable. But you have tried to engage it, you've tried to change it, and you put the effort there. I'm just here to tell you what high performers would do is leave sooner than later. I don't know what's coming up for you. I mean, some of you are like, are you talking about my marriage right now? I don't know what I'm talking about. I don't know your story, but I'm here to tell you. High performers tend to identify that which bores them or makes them miserable. They do the effort of fully engaging it, trying to shift it, trying to change it. I'm not saying that they quit without trying. Please listen. I'm saying they quit decisively. Two different things. They'll engage it. Like, I tried to make my career better. I did. I tried choosing the right. The better mentors, the better projects. I mean, I put the effort in, trust me, I really went for it. I tried, but it didn't get any more fulfilling. You know, if there's something that you're doing in your activities or job, career, relationships, and I mean, you've had a good couple year run and you worked on it and you really gave full attention and effort and it didn't engage you and you tried and you're just like, I'm bored with this now. I'm not bored with this. Like social media, Instagram, bored with it. Like meaning flip, flip, flip, flip, flip. Cause you lack commitment. This is not that. This is a different conversation. I hope you're hearing the distinctions here. High performers are deeply committed. So if they're deeply committed to something, I mean, meaning they spent time on it, they put effort there. I mean, it was real for them. They engaged it because they made that decision. Right? You jumped in, you chose to jump in. They chose something consciously. They went in, they gave effort at it, and they've engaged with it. And now if they've engaged with it, it's just boring or it's miserable. That's when they decisively knew, I'm out. And they would get out before. Listen to this. It's so hard to hear. They would get out before they knew the frigging next step. They were okay with the unknown. Because you know what I'm better with? I'm better with the unknown than the known. That's miserable. That's what they would say. And I was like, wow. I mean, that's courageous. I mean, that's what we talk about in high performance habits. My book, demonstrating courage is often leaving that which is right because courage is ultimately stepping into that which might bring fear, unknown, hardship, rejection. It's scary, but I'm telling you, you got to be more comfortable moving into uncertainty than you Allow yourself to be comfortable with what's boring or miserable if you want your career, business to go to the next level. Because you know who's not succeeding in business? Bored people. You know who's not succeeding in their careers? Bored people. You know who doesn't want to go to the meeting and give. They're all miserable people. So ask yourself, is there something a project, job, career, relationship, I don't know. You need to evaluate and you need to be decisive today, right? Today, Today. Because you already know the answer. If anything's been rolling around in your head, you already know it, my friend. And maybe you don't need a dude like me to give you permission for it. You need to give yourself some permission. And I tell you that only as a research base. I'm not advising you. I'm not telling you what to do as a trainer per se on this one. But I am telling you what high performers did. Now you need to say, is that relevant to me in my life? Cause I don't want you to do anything irresponsible and then blame me. What I want you to do, though, is what is true to you. Hey, it's Brendan. I'm bopping in here real fast for you to urge you to go to hpxwellness.com and check out our products to help you get more of that mental focus and energy. You need to stay at your best, to deliver with excellence and to feel like vibrant again. Because I know we all struggle with mental fatigue and mental focus. We all sometimes get tired and sometimes we're worried about our overall health. And So I created three specific products to help you with that. Go to HPX wellness.com check out our nutrition line, and let's get you to high performance, baby. HPX wellness.com Sometimes we need that. You know, maybe you need me to say it or not that there were some things you needed cut from life, maybe some things that were wrong. And I'm just here to say that somehow high performers had the courage to do it. And there were a lot of them who said it wasn't easy. A lot of them had to let team go. A lot of them left something they, I mean, they gave their blood, sweat and tears to for years, but they had to admit it wasn't the right thing. And why am I saying this to you? You're like, dude, I thought we were talking about productivity habits. I'm like, try to be productive towards the wrong things. You'll wake up, be unmotivated. You'll be a curmudgeon. People around you won't like you because you'll be irritable. And then what ends up happening? Your performance declines and then suddenly it's just like you're going through the motions. In my book, High Performance Habits, I tell the story of a woman, one of the most influential people that I've ever met, has over 10,000 employees, to give you an idea, extremely, extremely successful, been all over the media. And yet her challenge in life was she felt like she was starting to go through the emotions. No one wants to go through the emotions. Remember, we all want to feel alive, we want to feel connected, we want to feel like we're contributing. Live Love matter, that's my thing, right? We don't feel alive and we don't feel connected. We don't feel like we're contributing. If it's in a miserable place. Your family doesn't need to see you as an example of misery. Your team doesn't need to see a disengaged person. I mean, would you agree? I mean right now, I mean it's so obvious. We have so many people in the world right now who are half interested lovers, half hearted leaders, half engaged employees, and it's ruining it for everybody else. It draws down gdp, gross domestic product, it makes the work environment suck, it makes the home life suck. So you gotta find out what's boring or miserable and be on the lookout for that which makes you come alive. Notice I really hammered this and then I mentioned this one and that which makes you come alive. Because a lot of people didn't know that which made them come alive until they experimented, right? If it's wrong, boring and miserable, you make the conscious decision, I'm going to try some new things. You choose when to leave. But you try some new things and see which one makes you come alive. You got to experiment. You got to try a lot of different things. I tried so many things when I left that company. I mean I literally tried like hundreds of different things over the years. And the ones that I really connected with, I knew I felt fulfilled. You know, when it's not right, it's just hard to admit it. Sometimes it's true, you know it's right, just hard to admit it. Sometimes high performers are admitting it. And by listen the productivity gains, and I know this is advanced because it takes courage. The productivity gains come in their life because they've cleared the decks. You've heard the phrase spring cleaning? Well, if you don't spring clean your life once in a while, you know there ends up being all this clutter and all this clutter. It's harder to move around the house. It's harder to manage things. And so sometimes the greatest productivity gains in our life comes when we open up the white space in our life. We simplify. We identify that which is making us more come to life. And because if it's something that makes us come more to life, we focus a little bit more on it. We're more motivated in the morning, so our productivity gains grow. Your productivity lags when you're bored or miserable. I know you get it, but I'm telling you, every one of the top 15% of high performers, remember, high performers tended to be the top 15% in the general public anyway, meaning they're the 15%. In whatever field or discipline we were studying, they were the top 15%. Athletes. If we were studying athletes, they were the top 15%. Earners. If we were studying salespeople, they were the top 15% in terms of their 360 peer reviews, whatever. We were studying whatever area, the top 15% of that top 15%, everyone I interviewed, I interviewed over 30 of them in depth. Remember, this is the top 15% of the top 15%. Every one of them talked about this, and I was like, dang, you guys get gutsy. That's gonna be hard to teach people. They're gonna blame me for wrecked marriages and all these sorts of things, but it was definitely a pattern. Think legacy. One of the easiest ways to know if it's not right for you is, you know, when you turn 50, 60, or 70, and you're looking back, are you proud of the output that you generated in that space? Right. If you're there at the end of your life and you're evaluating what you've done, are you proud of that thing? And a lot of people are scared of that, you know, they really are. And so they. They don't want to face it, and so they don't quit. And I'll give you an example. Very young in my life, I was in high school, and I had a job, and it was basically as a janitor in this big trucking company. And I was pushing the broom. That was my job. I basically came in, pushed the broom across the shop floor, which was, I don't know, 10,000 square feet maybe. And, you know, the trucks were in there all the time, and there was oil and stuff and mud all over the place. And I had to, you know, put the stuff on the oil to soak it up, and I had to sweep the whole thing with one Sweeper that was this big. I still don't know why I didn't like anyway, little crappy sweeper. And I was just, I mean, it was just exhausting work. And I remember one day I'm sweeping and I'm thinking, am I going to be proud of this work ten years from now? I have no idea why I thought that. I'm a kid in high school and I was like, I'm going to be proud that I had the hard job and that I did it well. But if I'm here a year from now, I will not be proud. Follow what I'm saying. It doesn't mean that you can't be prideful of the activity or the hard work. Recognize that. But as a legacy, if you stay there too long, there's a difference. You follow? I knew if I was still push and broom a year later, that I wasn't activating my personal passion or activating my personal potential. And remember, I didn't know the right thing. I. I just knew that wasn't my legacy. And by the way, I don't bemoan that because I've worked with so many extraordinary, extraordinary people in maintenance and engineering and janitorial work. If that's their thing, that's their thing. I mean, if you read my book, Life's Golden Ticket, the hero is essentially the groundskeeper, right? So I connect with that work if it's done in a certain way. But for me, that wasn't going to be my legacy. So maybe you say, if what you're doing now in three years, are you proud that you're still doing that thing in three years? Because that thing is changing people's lives, making your mark, doing something, fulfilling. My job here is just to cue you as a high performance coach. That's what I'm always trying to do. I'm trying to cue you to find your own answers. But this is kind of how they told me they thought through and evaluated those quitting things that were wrong. Most of the highest earning guys and gals I spoke to who had teams, you know, had employees or significant numbers of contractors, they had a team of people who helped them do what they do, and they were the highest earning. Most of them had significant teams and employees. They would talk all the time about the challenge of scaling and as they went to scale to the new thing that, you know, the thing they were doing wasn't necessarily wrong and the team wasn't necessarily wrong. But there were some people who weren't ready for scale and they had to let that person go. Everybody had that story. I've had that in my own career. Over the years of my own brand and business, I've learned that too. There's just some people who. They're right there at the right time. But then as you scale and times change or needs change, they're not right anymore. And what they did is they released those people, they laid them off, they fired them, they left them. And it does not mean it was easy process. Brandon, this is heavy stuff, dude. I know, but I would say this was the habit. I told you, it's advanced. It's advanced because the courage is there. What do you need to quit? Who do you need to quit? Who do you need to let go on? Who isn't right? Maybe they were right in your life years ago. They're just not right now. And that's okay. It doesn't mean they're wrong. I think we are all so scared to hurt people's feelings that we put up with drudgery for years. For what? For the sake of being in a drudgery relationship or being in a drudgery project? The world needs to see us come alive, not miserable. And you need to find your freedom at this stage of your life, whatever that means. It doesn't mean just quitting on people irresponsibly. What it does mean is being judicious about thinking through where you are at this stage of your life and what really is right for the next stage. Because sometimes it's very different. What's right for you, the next stage? Look, you're also going to have to let go of some of your skills. There's so many things I am good at that I don't do anymore. Right? Think about that. Is it true there's some skills that you are so good at that you don't really do anymore at this stage of your life? It's just not right. I don't push a broom anymore. I am a hell of a broom pusher. I'm amazing. I mean, I can broom. Look, I am unbelievable at cleaning things. I can be obsessive to the nth degree, but I don't. It's just not relevant in my life anymore. There was a time that that really mattered for me. Right? It doesn't matter for me anymore. I had to let that skill go to focus on the next level of contribution. That makes sense. There's a lot of things. Oh, my gosh, I am so good at design. I mean, if you've ever. Okay, I think I'm good at design. But if you ever got something in the mail from me, I designed that. If you've seen the last all of my books, I designed those book covers. If you've seen most of my websites over the last decade outside of this last year or two, I did those. And I know a lot of those were janky. I mean, I love to design things. I love to make big brochures that are fancy and amazing. But me spending time there doesn't make sense for where I'm going. You follow? Like, I really love to dork out about audio and video. Doesn't make sense for me to spend a tremendous amount of time there because there are other people who are better at that, who can contribute there even more magically and way better than I ever could, even though I dork out about it. Sometimes you gotta let go of some of your passions for the next stage of your life too. If you can accept that, I bet you can accept. Sometimes you gotta let go of some of the people to go to the next level too. Those people, especially for high performers, they're the naysayers, the doubters, the haters, the negative energy people. It's not saying they're good people or bad people. It's just saying their energy is not readying you for your next level of life, your next level of learning, growth, contribution. Be aware of that. Just be aware. All right? Hey, it's Brendan. I hope you enjoyed that episode and I hope it helped you reach another level of high performance in your life, whether it's just a shift in your mindset or shift in your habits or a shift in your intention for the day. I really honor you for listening to the Brendon show and I'm deeply thankful. So could you do me a favor? Could you just go onto itunes or Apple podcasts and rate and review this episode or any of our episodes. And also while you're there to help me, just download the last five episodes too, onto your phone. Because, you know, Apple really cares about the downloads and the rating and reviews, and I've never really asked for that in six years of podcasting. And finally my friends convinced me to ask you to do that for me. I've never asked anything with my podcast community ever, but I really, really appreciate if you could do that. Also, if you would like some more in depth training, please don't forget that every single month I go live for two hours and teach new and original personal development, research, new frameworks to my entire virtual community in our HPX coaching program. And you can just go to hpxcoaching.com that's hpxcoaching.com to learn all about the different options there. But listen, I'm live two hours every single month with literally thousands of high achievers from around the world who tune in to get these new frameworks for reaching high performance in their life. Sometimes we talk about relationships, sometimes we talk about breaking bad habits. Sometimes we talk about achieving another level of confidence or discipline or goal attainment. But we are there every single month. And I'd love for you to join us. Just go to hpxcoaching.com to see all of your options and really join us. Dedicate yourself to personal mastery. Dedicate yourself to this journey. Not just once in a while with an episode here or there or a book there, but literally a program that could change your Life. It's called HPX Coaching. And you can go to hpxcoaching.com until next time, my friends, please remember every single day you can choose to be average or ordinary or just kind of go through the motions, or you can be more intentional, more disciplined, more excellence driven what you do because you know you need to serve those you love and those that you lead. You can choose to be extraordinary. So my friends, go out there today and be extraordinary. Sa.