Workout: Creating Emotional Wealth

You gotta understand that powerful need of real connection. Just one voicemail can change somebody's life. One moment of encouragement, one recognition, one simple gesture of kindness. This is what our world needs to figure out. Connection. We've got to remember how important that is for people. You gotta remember how important that is for each other. You want greater wealth in your life. The only way is doing better in connection. It's the only way you can get smart. You can have autonomy and confidence and influence. You can do all the things, but if you can't create connection, you will never have wealth. Not the real wealth that matters. You might have money, but you'll never have wealth. You gotta figure this one out. This has to be important for you because when this is removed from people, their life, their aliveness, and literally their life is compromised. I began my journey in personal development because I had a car accident. Apparently I have accidents or a thing. I mean, I'm not doing it for the speech. I just got problems. What had happened was, as a 19 year old kid, the worst thing that could happen for someone like me. I fell in love. I didn't know anything about the world. I was a young and dumb, naive kid. I fell in love. High school sweetheart, we go to college together. That relationship fell apart. And when that relationship fell apart, I fell apart. I didn't have the emotional tools to deal with the sadness, the anger, the depression that came from the breakup. Anyone ever been through that? Like you're stunned? I mean, you're totally. The breakup totally stuns you that you can't deal with was me, certainly at 19. And the only reason I changed later on was because I realized that what I really had gotten to was a point of almost no return. I call it the caged life. The caged life is when you feel like you're in a cage and everybody else is separate. I had my heart broken, so I was in the cage now. I stopped connecting with people. They were passers by. But there was these bars of hurt between us that I had to heal. Because what happens when you're in the cage? Imagine like a wild animal trapped in.

A cage at a zoo.

You've seen it or you've heard it, or the metaphor might resonate because the first couple days are there, they're angry, they're shaking. They're like so angry they're shaking. The bars, they're like, they're just so angry. They want to be free, they're upset, they're hurt, they want to go back the way it was. They're caged in the past or caged in the moment. They're so angry. But you return a week later. Now they're away from the bars and they're just watching indignantly upset. Everything's unfair. Nothing's right. I didn't deserve this. This is the point of no return. If somebody doesn't connect with them and pull them and help them, what happens is the worst of human mentalities come in. Now you return two weeks, three weeks, four months, five months later. They're in the back of the cage. They're down. They're looking at everybody else, and they're like these people. They don't understand me. There's no reason to do this. And then that becomes sadness and real depression. For me, it became suicide. I didn't think anyone understood. And when you're there, you need to know that you're there. And when you're there, the only thing's gonna go back is the guts to get up or to be pulled up by somebody, to open up and to go back up to the front again. And being able to rattle the cage of your own mindset, to get some help, to get some support, to be vulnerable enough to say, hey, guys, I'm back here. Everyone forgot about me. I feel terrible. And sometimes someone else rattles the cage. A mentor, a friend, a family member, for me, noticed I was in a hard place and asked, what's going on with you? They meant it. It was real. And it opened me up a little bit. I started sharing. Later on, I was in an accident, and I realized I wasn't suicidal. I didn't want to die. I didn't know how to live. That was it. That was it. I didn't want to die. I didn't know how to live. I was 19. I didn't know how to be happy. I didn't know how to deal with these emotions. I was so upset. That's why I got into personal development, started reading psychology. That's why I got in neuroscience. Human behavior change ultimately became high performance work was because I was trying to say, how do you change when you're so down on yourself? And I know we can get there, but see, everyone wants connection. And sometimes you put that triangle back up here. Sometimes we don't realize that those things are connected. See, you might be a vibrant, joyous, passionate, amazing, flowing woman, but if your connection at home sucks, does that impact things? Of course it does. Some. Some real nods there. Okay. Sometimes those things go together. You can save people's lives when you help them be connected. Again, connected to themselves, connected to humanity. Why does everyone feel so down after the last two years? Well, we lost a lot of people. A lot of connection went away. What happened? We got stuck in the social media cycle of hating everybody. Everyone hates everybody. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. And what happens? Well, all the hate, lack of connection, division between people all of a sudden steals away our aliven. Important thing you're ever going to do with your family is reconnect. Just like I had to say, Listen, you have to feel the day again right now. You have to make moments again. Write it down. Make moments again. Connection is about moments with people. It's about being fully present and intentional with them, Making a moment of connection on purpose, choosing to do it, seeing the other person. You all know as parents, sometimes kids be running around. You're just. You're managing and organizing everything. You're doing everything. But you forget, like you might go three, four days ago. Oh, my God. I haven't even. I haven't even made a moment. I haven't even looked this child in the eyes for three days. I just been handling them stuff, telling him to clean up stuff. You forgot the moments. I wrote a book called the motivation manifesto and in the last chapter of the book I talked about the importance of learning to hold a second or two, what I call two beats longer with people. When you meet them, look at them for two seconds longer. Just two beats longer. You put your kid to bed two beats longer. There with real presence. You kiss your babe two seconds longer on that kiss. Usually people cheer that part, but I don't know what's happening up here. Maybe it's weird. Too early. It's too early, too early, too early. Two seconds longer. Two beats longer. Connection again. Authenticity, like I force myself to do it. I don't shake a hand and leave. I shake the hand. One, two, I see you. Write it down. One, two, I see you. We got to get better at that as a culture. Can I get an amen on a Saturday, Ladies, gentlemen, I mean, we got. You want to change the aliveness and the energy. You got to reconnect. You got to make moments again.

Okay, my friend, I hope you enjoyed this episode of the brendon show. Tell some people about this episode. It's on each of us to spread positivity and empowerment during these times of chaos and negativity, right? So I'm asking you to be the dealer of hope and personal growth and education in your tribe. So take a screenshot right now and share the screenshot and this link to this episode with three of your friends today. Post it on social media. Use the hashtag growthday. That's growthday, because that's the name of my company and we're always giving away prizes to our community. If you'd like to help me personally, then please rate and review the podcasts on Apple Podcasts and give us some stars. Cheer us on.

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Because believe it or not, that stuff.

Actually really does help.

And I read all of them. So my last thought for today Please remember, you are stronger than you think, and the future holds good things for you. Tomorrow can be an inspired day. Every new morning is a second chance. Every day is a great day to grow. We're thankful to have you here in the Growth Day community, so be sure to go deeper with us and@growthday.com.