Workout: Sadness

You've got to allow and to socialize sadness. Look, I promised to talk about the dark days and the disappointment. You know, you have to allow sadness to happen, and you can't apologize for it. You can't try to hide it. Like, sadness is one of those things that does happen and it's not always easy to delay. If you're sad, allow it. Stop fighting it so much. Just be like, damn, I am sad that I lost that business deal. I am sad that I lost that family member. I am sad. And this negative thing happened, I didn't want it. One of the ways that I moved through sadness so quickly and terrible things happen to my business or my life. Losing family and friends and clients, having business deals go in the tank, watching, you know, people I care for really be mistreated was the ability to go, God, that really does bum me out. And allow. Not rejecting the sadness, allowing it and going, ah, I'm really sad about that. Let myself have my cry, let myself have my pity day. I always say, like, if you're sad, I'm fine. To lose a day to sadness, I don't want to lose a week to sadness. I don't want to lose a month to sadness. That's unhealthy. But to lose a day, to call in sick and say, you know what? Can't work today, can't shoot today, don't feel good today. There's nothing wrong with that. And if you can have that mindset that there's nothing wrong with you being sad, you'll be healthier. Isn't that an irony? If you finally realize there's nothing wrong with being sad, you'll actually be healthier. And then maybe you'll be able to move on to this next part, and that is to socialize your sadness. To share with someone, I'm really sad about this. And allow for the fact that they're going to go, oh, well, all you have to do is A, B and C and they're going to try to solve it. Doesn't matter what they do. The goal isn't for them to solve it. The goal is for you to share it. That's all. Stop worrying about what they're going to say about it or judge about it, but share it anyway. And some people say, well, that sounds. That sounds crazy. That's pretty vulnerable. You know, I lead a team. Are you telling me I should tell my team that I'm upset or I'm sad or I don't feel good about this or I'm disappointed? I'm like, yeah, tell them, well, what if they don't understand? They'll understand. They've been sad, too, once. That's like, why? Why do you think you're so different than everybody else? That's what gets leaders in trouble, is they don't communicate because they think they got to be and so different than everybody else. I'm like, no, you know what? Sometimes your life sucks, too. High performer. And you sharing with other people who are maybe high performers or even under performers isn't going to take away from you. Sharing emotion does not diminish you. Sharing emotion makes you stronger. Sharing emotion makes you a member of the community. Sharing emotion bonds you with people. Sharing emotion opens the gate to conversation and to change. And so whether it's sadness or even joy, like, stop not sharing it.