Workout: Stressful Situations

How do you deal with stressful situations so you don't freak out or have a ton of anxiety and fear leading up to them? Because maybe you have a big public speaking engagement coming up, or maybe you have that test at school coming up, or maybe you're about to have that difficult conversation with somebody that you've wanted to say something to them but you've been holding back and you know it's gonna freak you out when you go to tell them the truth. Whenever we're in situations that we know are going to bring us stress, it really is on us to prepare our absolute best so that A, we deal with them well and we can actually enjoy the or go through the experience without freaking out. But B, we don't freak out the energy of everybody else. Right? Because in all of the storms of life, it is our job to be the calm amid the storm. If you don't anticipate the emotions that you're going to have in stressful situations, I promise the situation is going to win, not you. So always anticipate. Okay? This is going to be hard. This conversation, this test, this day, this thing. It's going to be hard. Anticipate, it will be hard. Now, who has gone through it before? Who I can ask how they dealt with it. That's the first strategy. Second strategy, I need you to make a pre, during and post stress management plan. If I'm gonna go have that difficult experience in my life, I'm gonna plan, really plan. The day before, the day of, and the day after, I'm really gonna think through it. So let's say you're gonna have that difficult conversation with somebody you love. Okay. The day before, I'm gonna say, okay, well, the night before, I'm gonna ask myself these questions. I'm going to rehearse it a little bit. The morning of, I'm going to breathe, I'm going to close my eyes, I'm going to visualize it going just fine. Everything's going to be fine. If they say this, I'll say that, in other words, I'm going to role play it in my mind over and over and over again during the day. And then afterwards. Oh, how would I follow up with them to make them feel good? I think it's incredibly important that if you know you have something stressful coming up, that you visualize it over and over and over again, that you play it in your mind over and over and over again. But here's the difference, okay? Fear mongering or worrying is thinking about it and Seeing it go bad every single time. Visualizing is seeing you show up. Confident, capable, doing a good job. Confident, capable, doing a good job. I want you to every single time. Visualization should be a positive thinking exercise where you're seeing the situation and you're seeing yourself handle it well. But you're also noticing the things that are difficult. What if they say this or what if they say that and you're kind of like scenario planning? If she says this, then I'll say that. If he does this, then I'll do that. But keep the momentum going and visualize the thing all the way through. Almost everything you do in your life, you should think, how do I enroll friends or find peers to do this with them so I stay on the journey. When you have friends or others involved, we know from social sciences that you're more likely to stay committed, stay consistent, and succeed. But guess what? We're in a society of selfies where we only think of ourselves and we only, like, because we're scared to ask for help or be vulnerable and say, I don't know. We do everything ourselves. And everything I ever do, I literally sit down. Here's my goal list. Anytime I write down goals, I don't just write down, when's it going to happen? What's my next step? You know, what's the deadline? Instead, I also write next to it and I say, who can I enroll with me on this goal? Get people enrolled with you in your goals. Get people enrolled with you so you can role play with them. Ask, participate, go through it with them. It's not so scary. I know you know this. If you've ever been to, like, the county fair, I'm from Montana, so we always have the county fair. And there would be these big, huge, scary rides. When I was a kid, I never went on a ride by myself as a kid. Never. Once I go, grab my buddy, hey, you're coming on with me. What, are you kidding? I'm not going to. He didn't want to go, I didn't want to go. But when we said, let's go together, we got on that zipper, we got flipped around and kicked around, and we loved it. And we only did it because we did it together. You will face greater stresses and greater fears when you go at it together. There's another level of life experience available to you. When you prepare, when you think things through, when you challenge yourself to be your absolute best, when you show up each and every day and you say, I'm going to be vibrant today, I'm going to be connected with other people. I'm going to make a difference. I'll see you next time.