In this solo episode of The Leader's Kitbag, Ben Morton addresses the common frustration of internal thinkers who feel unheard in meetings because they speak less than their external‑processing colleagues. He explains the NLP concept of internal vs. external processing, clarifies that speaking volume does not equal value, and cites Seneca’s ancient wisdom on the virtue of silence. Morton then offers a concrete, three‑step tactic for internal thinkers: (1) let others dominate the airtime, (2) listen intently and mentally synthesize the discussion, and (3) near the end of the meeting, pull the conversation together with a concise, value‑adding summary of what was heard and the speaker’s own insight. He promises that consistent use of this approach will shift perception, leading peers to seek the internal thinker’s perspective and making them a valued contributor without having to compete for airtime. The episode closes with a brief promotion of a live, online leadership program designed for busy managers, with a link in the show notes.
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Hi there, I'm Ben Morton, and welcome to The Leader's Kitbag, the podcast that delivers practical leadership insights in less than 10 minutes. Each episode tackles a real challenge faced by leaders and managers with simple ideas and tools you can take away and apply immediately. And because leadership doesn't happen sitting behind a desk, Many of these episodes are recorded outside whilst I'm walking and thinking. They're informal, unscripted, and straight to the point. So, wherever you are, let's get started and sharpen your leadership skills, one episode at a time. Have you ever sat in a meeting thinking you didn't say enough? Perhaps everybody else was talking a lot and seemingly getting a lot of airtime, and you were there sitting much more quietly, thinking, processing what it was that you were hearing. Well, if that's you, then today's episode of The Leader's Kitbag is for you. In my coaching work and leadership workshops, I hear this a lot from people who think and process information internally Rather than externally. There's this worry that in meetings, the people who speak up a lot, who say a lot, are the ones who are going to get on, the ones who are going to get the best opportunities, or they're the ones that have their boss's ear, so to speak. But here's a question worth thinking about if this resonates with you. Are they really the ones that are getting on? Or does it just seem that way to us? Because saying a lot isn't the same thing as adding a lot of value. In the world of neuro-linguistic programming, or NLP, there's something called the internal versus external processing filter. External processors tend to think out loud. A lot of the time, they literally won't know what they're thinking until they've heard themselves say it out loud. Internal processors, on the other hand, tend to think first and then speak. They'll do their thinking or processing quietly internally, and once they've done that, they'll share what they think out loud. Neither is better, but But it is the case that in many meetings, it's the external processors who tend to dominate the airtime. And it's easy to mistake volume for value. But as I've said, the key is that talking a lot isn't necessarily the same as adding a lot of value. The philosopher Seneca put this brilliantly around 2,000 years ago when he said, silence is a lesson learned from the many sufferings of life. I think the point Seneca was probably trying to make is that the more we speak, the greater the risk of us saying something that we haven't fully thought through. And I'm guessing this probably sounds familiar, right? Most of us can remember at least one meeting, I'm sure, where we've heard somebody talk and talk and talk that they've dug themselves into a hole. Or they've said so much, maybe without thinking it through, they've ended up making some really bone remark that they probably regretted quite soon afterwards. So if you're more of an internal thinker and you're worried that you're not saying enough in certain meetings, then stop trying to be like your external thinking colleagues and really start playing to and leaning in to to your own unique strengths as an internal thinker. So here's how to do it. Allow others to speak. Certainly don't try and compete for airtime with your externally thinking, externally processing colleagues. Instead, listen carefully, listen intently, and process all that it is you're hearing. And then towards the end of that particular chunk of the meeting, or the entire meeting, be the one who pulls it all together. You could do that by saying something like, if I may, I've been listening carefully to what everybody has said and the different perspectives in the room, and here's what I've heard, and as a result, this is what I think. If you do that consistently, things will start to change for you very quickly. I guarantee it. You'll find that you don't need to fight to get your voice heard in meetings because people will be coming to you much sooner asking for your opinion, your perspective, or your thoughts on the topic that you're discussing. And very quickly, you'll become one of the most valuable people in the room, not because of how much you said, but because what you do say has real value to it. So that's it for today's episode of The Leader's Kitbag. I hope you found it useful, and remember, look after yourself and those you've got the privilege and responsibility to lead. And until next time, lead on. Before you head off, if you enjoy the ideas we explore together here on The Leader's Kitbag, and you'd like to go a little deeper, then I've created a new leadership program designed specifically for busy leaders and managers. It focuses on the practical side of leadership, the mindset, skills, and tools that help you support your people, make better decisions, and get the results you're accountable for. The programme is delivered live and online over several half-day sessions, making it practical and perfect to fit in around the day job. If that sounds useful, you can find out more details via the link in the show notes. That's it for now. Hopefully, I'll see you in the next programme very soon. And until then, Look after yourself and those you've got the privilege and responsibility to lead.
