Nobody Is Planning Your Career But You!

Are you unmotivated by the work that you're doing or feel as if you're just powering through to get the job done and the milestone met? Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? According to our guest Randy Roberts, before you change your situation, you have to change your perspective. Randy's going to share with you how to get in the driver's seat of your own career and decide what to do when you're not as motivated by the work as you used to be. Help you explore next steps in your career so you are energized, focused, and excited by your work again. Randy and I will guide you into loving what you do without compromising who you are and what matters most to you. So stay with us.

Welcome to Shedding the Corporate Bitch, the podcast that transforms today's managers into tomorrow's powerhouse leaders. Your host, Bernadette Boas, executive coach and author, brings you into a world where the corporate grind meets personal growth and success in each and every episode.

Randy, how are you?

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Thank you, Bernadette. I'm thrilled to be here.

I'm excited to also talk about this subject around taking control of your own career path. I think it's really vital nowadays, especially with all the changes going on out in the business I have to ask you, is there a personal story that you can share in regards to your own demotivation and then your decision-making around making that change?

I think for people who do what I do, a lot of times we tend to coach what we know, and I definitely have experienced this. I was one of those— a very lucky— considered to be a high performer in my career, really motivated, loved what I did, and sort of promotions came after me, and, and I got pulled into different jobs and had this really wonderful corporate experience. And then, you know, one of the challenges I found was at some point, corporations that do it right have this great, very well-defined career development track and developmental plans and offer these programs. And it was phenomenal. But sometimes the leadership of the company thinks they know what's right for you. And it may be you go to another country for a while, or you move into— making it up— but from sales into marketing role, those kinds of things. And some of those moves are great and tremendously enhancing, really growing, stretch you, all those things. But sometimes it's just not the right thing for you for whatever reason. And sometimes you may agree to do it. And then the leadership of the company changes and the people that are now in decision-making power maybe didn't agree with that or had a different idea. So you, what I found was I really had to be true to myself and I had to know almost like I was doing a strategic plan for a brand or a business. You gotta know the through line. You gotta know what the end looks like or what the goal is. So that you can stay consistent with that and play in the right lane and do things for your own reasons. And so I definitely found that there was a time when they wanted me to take an expat assignment, which at different times in my life would have been absolutely right. At this particular time, my husband's mother was elderly. She really needed us. I couldn't leave her for 3 years. I couldn't do that and live with myself. We were the only family. And so I made decision not to do what the powers that be really thought that I should do. And it felt really risky, but in the end, I really had to do what I knew was the right thing for me. And it led to some other decisions after that. Nobody else can take into account the factors that are core to you. We have to fight for ourselves.

And what did you find the risks to be. So our listeners and viewers will understand how to evaluate. What risks did you see in getting— like you say, you drive yourself and your plan and what it is that's right for you.

Well, for me, the risks were— some of this is speaking in generalities. In this case, there were more men than women in leadership. People get to those positions by being right a lot of the time, by being successful, by having confidence in themselves. They often don't like to be told no. And sometimes as a woman, that can be even more of a risk. So I found those things to be true. They wanted me to take their suggestions. And while I appreciated their suggestions and I appreciated them having that interest in me and that confidence in me, it was up to me to stand up for what I needed and be willing to risk their displeasure at my not taking their advice. And so I had to do my best to communicate my rationale and be okay if they accepted it or if they didn't accept it.

Do you find that a lot of managers or a lot of professionals, when they are given an opportunity that might go against what it is that they really want, do you find that they thoroughly evaluate that versus just saying no and saying things that immediately turn off the leaders who gave you this opportunity?

I think it's a really important question, and I think it's something that needs to get navigated carefully because I think it often isn't done as well as it could be. If you think about that interaction, I was going to the executive who made a very clear recommendation what I should do to tell them I wasn't taking that recommendation, needed to go in a different direction. I think we have an opportunity to view that almost like a job interview. And work through our story. And I don't mean script it, but have your bullet points, the things you need to communicate, and practice it. Talk it through with someone else. It may seem like overkill, but the reality is if you don't do that, you are verbalizing it for the first time when the stakes are high. That might be just talking to a friend, talking to a spouse or partner, talking to a coach, whoever that is in your life. But talk it out, verbalize it so that you practice it and it feels comfortable and you can deal with what emotions may come up. Because in those situations, if you feel like you're taking a risk, you might feel nervous, you might feel anxious, you might feel a certain way that gets in the way of your own— the outcome that you're hoping for. And so there are some steps you can take to avoid that. Yeah.

I love that. The more prepared you could be and the more thoughtful and intentional versus just a knee-jerk reaction, like, no. Yeah. Yeah. I would think that is imperative. Imperative.

Some people are great on the fly. Like some people, their knee-jerk reaction is right on and they can nail it. But most of us are not blessed with that talent. And why not set yourself up for success?

Yeah. And even if you are good at it. Still take some time to just consider all of the different angles, right?

Because the outcome of that can be really powerful. That could lead to other opportunities that could really reinforce this person's belief and commitment in you. So that opportunity exists too. I don't mean to suggest that the people who are buying into us are doing something— their suggestions may be in our best interest. From a career standpoint, but we have the other factors to consider.

Absolutely. And I love the word you're using, suggestions, because they are just suggestions. They're not demands, commands. You could receive it like that, right? But if you receive it as suggestions, like the way you're positioning it, which is making it seem so much more in my control. Than in their control. Is that what you mean also by getting into the driver's seat of your career?

I absolutely do. It's— nobody can have your own best interests at heart the way you can, even with all good intention, even the people that really advocate for you. You're the one that knows you best. You're the one that has to live with it. And so it's almost a situation too, where if you view yourself as a leader and maybe you're an aspiring leader, maybe you're not there yet. But you view yourself that way. Like, think ahead to the result you want to have. Maybe you want to be a CEO. What does future you, future CEO you, need you to do today to make that happen, to be successful getting there? And if you think about it, those of us that are leaders don't— we have leaders, yes, but we're not followers. At least we're not just followers. So why would you listen blindly to the advice someone else is giving you. Feel confident in your leadership to take leadership in that situation.

And what is your recommendation, since you mentioned mapping out your path and where you want to land up, and then you had mentioned to consider what is it that you need to be doing now in order to get there? What is your recommendation around how to go about that? Who they should be talking to? What questions should they be asking to really understand what is what is it that they need to be working on?

Yeah, these are great things to be thinking about because we don't do this in a vacuum. We do this between people. We gain advocacy, and it's all about that communication. So the way I have approached it my own career, and I've coached others through this work a lot, is you almost view it as a strategic plan. Like, figure out what you think you want— the ultimate job, the job you want to retire from. To be. And you may change your mind because for a lot of it, that could be 25 years out. But you're building that framework so you know what that is and you make sure— most of us have taken twists and turns along the way. It's not a linear path, but you always know the lane you're playing in. So you always make sure that anything you choose fits within that framework. And that really helps too when things come at you that you didn't expect. Should I be opportunistic about this? It's really attractive. It would lead to the next thing. Well, then you can look at it through a framework of, is this in my lane? And if so, yeah, go for it. And if not, you still can go for it. You get to set the rules. You get to change the rules, but it really helps you make sure that you've got the same— your career, you deserve the same strategic thinking as the businesses you work on. And that's really the approach I take. Like, I got my MBA, I spent 30 years in the corporate world and have now been running my own businesses for almost 10 years. Like, that's just how I think. It makes sense to me, but it keeps it objective. It keeps us from having our emotions in check and using them in a way that serves us rather than detracts.

You have a plan and a compass, it sounds like, to then make decisions and reconcile and prioritize and decide, you know, what you're going to do, what you're not going to do. For me, everything that you're saying sounds so comforting and so kind of sane, as opposed to all the chaos that can go on out there. Yeah, especially if we don't really know what we want.

I think that's exactly it. I like what you said a lot about the compass. And think about— put this together with the last conversation we had about if you are bringing a controversial or opposite opinion to a recommendation someone's giving you. You want to have thought through your rationale. You want to be sort of practiced with that so you can communicate it the way that makes sense, that's effective. It's a similar kind of thing. If you have picked your lane, if you have your strategy and your long-term strategy identified, or at least outlined, if someone came to you with a, hey, you may not have thought about this, what about doing something like this? You instinctively can go to that strategy to evaluate the opportunity and communicate your thinking. Think about the way another leader would hear that. They would, man, this person really is a strategic thinker. They're applying those skills to themselves. Think about the logic they laid out. They will learn the things about you that you want them to learn. Yeah.

And do you often hear that the one thing that their leaders want from them is that strategic thinking? And do they have a challenge trying to figure out what that really means and looks like?

That's a conversation that I have with people a lot. And that goes again to future you. If you want to be in that strategic leadership position, start thinking that way now, however far in advance it is, and apply those things to yourself. You deserve that. And it shows the kind of thinking— that's how I got a lot of the opportunities, because People want to see how you think. People want to see how you handle difficult situations. They learn a lot about you. And I have those conversations with clients all the time.

And what was— going back to your own experience that we started this conversation with— what was your pivotal moment that caused you to say, this isn't what I want anymore, or this isn't working anymore? And then you all of a sudden went to this made a sharp right into this entrepreneurial world. But what was that pivotal moment for you?

I'm not sure it was a moment, but it was definitely a period in time where I found myself less motivated than I had been before. I've always worked hard. I've always liked having more to do than I can do. But the things that used to energize me became exhausting to me. And I had to do some soul searching to figure out what had the situation changed. Or had I changed? And what was it? Because I had to make sure I was solving the right problem. I knew I wasn't done, even if I was done in corporate, but I had to make sure I was solving the right problem. So I was seeking out the right things and preserving the right things and taking that situation with me. And it was worth the work because I love running my own business now. I love the work that I do. I've always needed to do some good. While I'm doing well. Both things are really important to me, but the good that I've done has looked different at different times in my career. I've satisfied that differently. And now I help other people achieve their goals, and it just lights me up the way the corporate world used to.

And that's awesome. And I totally relate. And I can tell. Look at your face.

Yeah.

For those of you listening, though, yes, I can absolutely feel that coming, oozing out of you, which is phenomenal, especially for your clients. What are some practical steps? Because we're not necessarily saying that to the corporate people, you might come to a moment where you become an entrepreneur. You're not saying that, right?

It's not for everybody.

Correct.

It's no joke. It's hard.

Yeah.

You're just saying to take control of your career and don't let, you know, everything else around you control it. So what are some practical steps they could be thinking about and/or doing right now, especially if they are having this tug of war within themselves as to whether or not they're happy or not happy?

I think one of the most important things— it's a process, but I think the place to start is what I do with so many clients is figure out what it is that is itching. Figure out what it is that isn't fitting the way it used to or what's missing. Because that way you may be able to solve your problem right where you are. If things aren't working right for you, the answer isn't necessarily change companies, change careers. But when you get to the heart of what it is, then you can figure out how to solve it. For some people, they may be in a job that they love. They like the company, the values of the company, all the things, but they're not as challenged as they were. If you have that conversation with somebody, you may be able to find a way to solve it for yourself. It's good for the company, new product line. New customer base, whatever that looks like. So getting to the bottom of what isn't fitting right anymore is the first step to figuring out how to solve it.

And who can they also be engaging in this process apart from— it's obvious for someone like yourself, but who even within their sphere of influence can they be engaging to help them even see their reflection properly in the mirror as far as what is not making them completely happy?

I love that question because it's one of the things we can control. Sometimes we feel out of control of being able to solve the problem, but the first place to look is like, who's on my board of directors, right? Do I have mentors? Do I have advisors, friends? It might be your boss. Like, if you're in a good situation, who are the people that have a seat at my table that I can go to with this and talk through what I'm experiencing and some of the things that I'm thinking about. And the thing that we tend to forget is we're not the first ones to walk this path. Most people that have a successful career have had some twists and turns, have had some times that were less motivating to them than others. And if you're clear on what you need from them, it might be a situation of, I'd really like to just process this with you so I can try and figure out what's going on. Or I'm thinking that there's one or two things that I'd like to solve for. Can you help me do some problem solving? Like, think a bit about what you need at that time. Think about who it is on your board of directors that can best serve that for you and get active about it. It's very unlikely that the problem that exists in the world can be solved in your head. You got to engage.

I love that. And I even want you to drill into, because this could be the first time those listening and viewing this is hearing about a board of directors. What do you mean by that? I don't own my own company. Yeah. So what do you do with your clients as around formulating that board of directors?

Yeah, I love that. There are different stakeholders in your life that are engaged that want to help you, but it's in different ways. Like you may have a fantastic boss. That is committed to your development and will do a lot of things to provide you the resources you need. It doesn't mean that's the person that you want to talk to about your innermost thoughts. You think about who else is in your world that can provide that sort of advice. It might be somebody you went to grad school with. It might be a colleague that you used to work with or you currently work with that you have that trusted relationship with. So think about what it is you need, and then you think, who are the stakeholders in your life that can provide that? And having advocacy is really important too. That's really different than mentorship or whatever. Your advocates are the people that will go to bat for you, that people that will take action on your behalf. And you don't necessarily go to those people when you're not sure you like what you're doing anymore. So you just have to be a little strategic even about that. What is it that you need and who in your world can help provide that?

And what are your cautions around who they select?

Great question. I have always kept the list close. So I've had what I call my holy smokes list, and I really don't call it quite that, but I don't like to swear on podcasts. So my holy smokes list is a very small group of people that when I feel like, holy smokes, I don't know what I'm doing, these are the people that I can call and be vulnerable with. You want to keep that list close. Those are the people that you really trust. And then beyond that group might be people that you don't necessarily open the kimono entirely to. You may share with them what you're thinking from a business perspective and ask their business advice. They're hugely valuable in that space. That doesn't mean they're entitled to your innermost thoughts.

Right.

So you just have to be selective with who it is that you need in your world. And I would say too, Bernadette, one thing is we tend to hold ourselves back thinking that we can't ask people for help, we can't ask for advice. Most people are really happy to help other people. It feels good. You want to do it. It comes back to you. Corporate karma and all that stuff. So don't hesitate to ask. People have agency. They can say yes or no, but don't hold yours. Don't make the decision for them. That they're not willing to help you. Let them decide for themselves.

And if you're not asking, it may come down to confidence and feelings of deserving and self-worth. And those are things that you can help them with, correct?

We get in our own way. And the one thing that I can promise you is if you— like when I started my own business, I used to get all up in my head if I would call someone and ask for a piece of advice or referral. When I was first starting. If they didn't respond to me, I would get all up in my head about, oh, they don't respect what I'm doing or some silly thing. It may have been dish that they did. Maybe I was right. They didn't respect it. That's okay. I don't, they can do, let them do them. I'll do me. Or it may be that they didn't see my email. Either way, nobody died. It just wasn't that serious. So I had to stop making it that serious. And we do that to ourselves. We are very good at doing that to ourselves and getting in our own way. We can get out of our own way.

And all they can do is say no.

Yeah, completely. And then we say, thank you for considering it. And I've even had situations in our world. I do a lot of things on social media and I send out a lot of emails and I do shows like this. I have had people comment on something that I put out on social media. They didn't like it or something like that. And that's information. And I appreciate hearing from them and I let them know that, but that doesn't mean I need to change everything I'm doing.

Imagine what I get with even the title of this show. And it's people definitely, I receive it and then I make a decision around it. And again, that comes back to someone's confidence and someone's knowing, right? What you said at the very beginning is really understanding what it is you want or don't want. And really having that strategic plan.

Yeah, it's really important in keeping boundaries and putting yourself out there in whatever way that is can feel really vulnerable. And sometimes that feedback or that disagreement or challenge or whatever, sometimes that can get in a little bit. But if you have that strategic vision, it's easier to keep these things objective, which is really what they are.

Absolutely. I love that. So what would be one next step beyond what you already shared that also would benefit our viewers and listeners if they were to leave this conversation right now and start acting on it?

Yeah, I mean, in addition to the things we've talked about, if you're having questions, if you're having these thoughts, talk to somebody. There is somebody in your life that would be happy to listen to you. And there's magic in just processing it, even if you don't expect the other person have the answers. There is something that changes when we verbalize this stuff rather than keep it locked in our head. So seek somebody out and talk it through.

I love that. I absolutely love it. Especially if I keep it all in my head, I'll become psychotic.

Yeah, it's crowded up there.

Oh my God, it's overcrowded up there. I noticed this on your website, you have a Right Time Guide, and I wanted to allow my viewers and listeners to go to your site and download that. And you can do that at tiny.cc/righttimeguide. What is this and how can they use it to benefit them?

It's a starting place for knowing when's the right time to make a move, because you may be thinking that something's not, not right anymore. Is there more money out there? Is there more of whatever it is you need out there? And sometimes the time is right and sometimes it isn't. So it's a good place to start thinking about those things. Yeah.

And again, getting it out of your head.

Yeah.

In this case, maybe putting it on a piece of paper and verbalizing it, but not having it swirl and create more chaos than you already have in your life.

Right.

This has been awesome, Randy. We could talk for hours about this.

I would love to.

And I so appreciate you being here to share all this with us. Yes, what a powerhouse conversation with Randy Roberts all around getting in the driver's seat and controlling your own destination and really understanding what it is that you want, what it is that you don't want, what is your lane. And in knowing that, you can then make decisions or identify when you're getting off track, and then you can reposition yourself back So you avoid getting unmotivated or de-energized or just really stressed out over what it is you're doing. She also talked about a key element or a key way you can go about doing that is by forming a board of directors. And I absolutely love and advocate this. And I did it in my own business about 14 years ago. And so your board of directors are those individuals around you in your sphere of influence that you trust, that you really hold in high regard, that will be completely open and honest, that will guide you and mentor you and provide you some advice and help you with some key decisions that you're making throughout your career. So definitely dig into that portion of the conversation around your board of directors. And then she said that she has a holy smokes list. And she was editing herself, not wanting to curse on our Shedding the Corporate Bitch show. But that's respectful. And so her holy smokes list is beyond that board of directors list. It's those individuals that you may or may not want to engage, that may or may not support you or provide you the guidance or the mirror that you need, the true brutal honesty that you might be seeking in order for you to really understand what's working for you and what's not, and what direction do you want to go into. So she called it her Holy Smokes List, which I absolutely love. I am so grateful that you were here with us this week, and I'll look forward to having you right back here for another episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch.

Thank you for tuning in to today's episode of Shedding the Corporate Bitch. Every journey taken together is another step towards unleashing the powerhouse leader within you. Don't miss any of our weekly episodes. Subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you love to listen. And for those who thrive on visual content, catch us on our Shedding the Bitch YouTube channel. Want to dive deeper with Bernadette on becoming a powerhouse leader? Visit balloffirecoaching.com to learn more about how she helps professionals, HR executives, and team leaders elevate overall team performance. You've been listening to Shedding the Corporate Bitch with Bernadette Boas. Until next time, keep shedding, keep growing, and keep leading.