This content was created by Bill Gallagher. This content was uploaded by Bill Gallagher. This is a podcast episode titled "Rejection and Tension in Business" (published May 23, 2023) hosted by Bill Gallagher, a Scaling Coach. The episode is a solo coaching-style monologue in which Gallagher recounts a coaching anecdote about a client, "Debbie," who learns to handle rejection and resolve tension with a business partner by adopting curiosity and shifting her leadership behavior. The episode focuses on leadership, dealing with “no”/rejection, and how small shifts by leaders can change team dynamics. It also contains sponsor/promotional segments for Doxatalent and Align’s Scoreboard software and calls-to-action to subscribe and visit scalingcoach.com.
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One of the people that I was coaching some years ago, a woman named Debbie, had a business partner who wanted to do one thing, had a pet project. It conflicted with her core strategy that she wanted to do. And they were just at odds with each other, right? And the interesting thing was is that Debbie came to me after just having her partner reject out of hand her plans and the discussion of her big strategy. And so I listened to this for a while and I could tell she was really upset this day, like really triggered by what was going on, wasn't handling it, was taking no very personally, felt stuck and trapped. Her investment of time, money and energy into this business for time felt all thwarted by this business partner that didn't want anything to do with her ideas. And I'm like, hmm, that's interesting. And then she went on about this business partner. They don't want anything. I have to say, we're just fundamentally, we never should have gone into business. And I don't know if you're like this, but I have felt that way before. And I certainly encounter a lot of the people that we work with who have some notion like that this person, that man, they should never have been in business with that person. And that was just a mistake early on. In spite of all the good things in the business, it's like that. So I said, all right, well, let me ask you this. What's it like for your business partner? What are you like, to them, I really clearly hear how they are for you and how they're a buzzkill and frustration and how you just regret ever being in business with them. But what about for them? For you? What do you think they say? If I was coaching them right now, what would that be like? And she looked and she said for a little bit about her business partner and how they were and what. What did he do and that kind of thing. And I, like, listened, and I could see I hadn't spent much time with the other person. This was a CEO coaching relationship only, not the whole team. So I could see her starting to get interested and curious about what that's like. And then something came up, and I said, all right, well, what about that project? How are you in entertaining and discussing and planning for that project that he'd like to do that isn't directly contravening but is dislocated, like, by your. Feels like it's competing with your strategy? And she's like, well, I don't really like that kind of thing, and I don't really want to get into that. Doesn't really matter anyway. And that's when I smiled at the not laughing at her, like, to belittle her, but at the real humanity of it. And then she quickly caught on, oh, I'm not interested in their ideas, and they're not interested in my ideas. Interesting. So she got that. She figured it out. It happened in the moment in our coaching conversation. I said, why don't you try this? Set aside your strategy and your initiative. Don't worry at all about that. Don't try to sell them in anything. Just go and get interested and curious in their project that they've been trying to get you involved in and that you've been negating for a while. And let's see what happens and then just come back. I'll see you again in two weeks. Right? Typical CEO coaching conversation about every two weeks. So she did. She comes back in two weeks. She's like, oh, my God, the most amazing thing happened. I did what you said. I started to look into that, and then we're working on and look at his project. And then he goes, tell me again about that strategy. And then she goes, there was like, an opening. So I just said, and, like, now we're working together on everything. In, like, one shift of her, he changed. Interesting. The leadership really matters who you are and the way you interact with the world has a huge effect on everything, especially as a leader. If you can shift the way you are very often all the people around you will shift as well. Debbie not only got aligned with her partner, didn't regret working with the guy, and now started to see ways to like carry on all their things together and in more of a give or take. Now did she want to be involved in this project? Not that much, but resisting it was getting in the way of him working with her as well. And of course the leader needs to take the first action. So I think that makes a difference. I think about that story again and again and again in my own pursuits and with our coaching clients. I hope it's helpful for you. If you liked it, subscribe, like it, recommend it, turn on your notifications so that you find these shows every week. We've done 400 plus shows like this and we've got something for you at least every week. My name is Bill Gallagher, Scaling Coach and host of this Scaling Up Business podcast. You you'll find us wherever you're getting now. Or you can go to scalingcoach.com, our website that not only has all the back shows, but also information about all of our coaching training workshops, boot camps, things like that. All that and more@scalingcoach.com and if you'd like to drop us a line if we could help you with anything or connect you to anything info, scalingcoach.com is a good email for us. Hope that's been helpful for you. We'll talk to you again next time. Keep Scaling Up. Are you ready to turn your goals into daily wins? You should check out our Scoreboard software. Powered by Align, it's the official software for Scaling Up. With Scoreboard, you'll get an AI driven coach for priorities and KPIs and it'll help keep your team focused on what matters most. With Align, you can track your goals in real time and you'll even see results on the go. With their mobile app, you can rest easy knowing that Align has world class onboarding and support to set your team up for success. This is really more than just software, it's what I actually use to manage growth in our Scaling up client teams. Unlock clarity and results with Scoreboard by Align. To try it now, go to aligntoday.com Bill G One more time. Aligntoday.com Bill G that's aligntoday.com Bill G Check it out and try it now.
