Tuesday’s Tips — How to Work with People who Trigger You

Are you thinking about how to grow your business with near and offshore staffing, but you're also wanting to make sure that it's reliable, cost effective and really well done? I think docsa talent is the way to go. Here's why. They don't just fill your jobs. They bring integrity, top talent, and a people first approach that's hard to find. I've known the people at Doxa talent for over 20 years now and I say that you can count on them. I have talent. Talk to doxatalant and you won't be disappointed. Go to doxatalent.com Bill G Again, that's doxatalent.com Bill g. One more time. Docsatalant.com Bill G Check it out today. Have you ever noticed that there are certain kinds of people that you just do not click with? Certain kinds of people you actively avoid, certain kinds of people that are really hard for you and you know them and you recognize them in an instant. Foreign. My name is Bill Gallagher, Scaling Coach, host of the Scaling Up Business podcast. We bring shows, tips, ideas, deep dives, conversations with gurus, with CEOs, all that and more about how to get the growth of your company going well and how to develop yourself as a leader. So we deal with people with strategy, with execution, cash, and the leadership required to grow and develop your company. And we put these shows out every week. There are hundreds of them. Now you'll find that that entire back catalog of really interesting thoughts and ideas and tools that are really timeless. You'll find all that and more wherever you got this, iTunes, YouTube, Stitcher, Spotify, et cetera. Or you can go to our website@scalingcoach.com, search it there, find the full downloads, all the links, that kind of thing, everything there and more@scalingcoach.com all right, so back to this example. I was coaching a managing partner of a growing law firm and this guy was really great and intelligent and caring and passionate about developing himself as a leader and growing his business, that kind of thing. But he suddenly found himself really, really triggered and confronted by an employee, a person who really a rising new leader, but somebody who was really uncomfortable for him to deal with. And their style, everything about this person just really triggered the guy and he was like how deal with this? Like there's nothing that I could point to. He didn't have anything that was like company values, that kind of thing, like where he should just get rid of them. But he found himself just like personally triggered by that personality and a little embarrassed at the fact that like a personality style issue was so, so much of a trigger. Well, anyway, here's the thing. I asked him to see who else and where else he had people like this, where he'd been triggered. And even more importantly than that, I asked him to notice what it was that he did when people occurred for him a particular way, not this particular style of trigger, but like all kinds of things that he didn't like. Right. And he was a little overwhelmed because as he started to notice this, he realized, and he saw it with some of the people he loved the most, not just the people he worked with and cared about professionally, but his wife and kids as well, his extended family members. He could see where when he didn't like dealing with somebody's personality, rather than address all of it, he would just kind of write it off. He would like wall it off and he would go, well, you know, relationships, 50, 50, I'm going to do my part and they've got to do their part. If they can't do their part, then there isn't. So he brought self awareness to the way that he sort of wrote people off and the limits he had on people, that was really eye opening and humbling for him. And then he also began to notice where he had limits on what he was willing to do and where he was willing to go. His insight there was that a relationship, a successful relationship is 100%, 100%. This is true of our romantic relationships, our family relationships, our friends, our coworkers, our vendors, like everything, it's always 100%, 100%. It's not 50, 50 that I'll do your part, you'll do my part is a kind of a chicken shit move that we make that makes very little difference in the interaction. But if you're 100% responsible for the way things go and the person like you looking at you in the mirror, how you're being in the world, you'll start to alter things that will actually impact the relationship and that other person will shift naturally as well in sync with who you are as a reflection reaction to what you're putting out in the world. So he began to take full responsibility for it, for his way of operating that didn't work and his boundaries and his limits. And he began to notice in particular about that person that he was dealing with. He noticed like a real depth and interesting details about the person beyond some of the personality traits and the stereotypical like presentation that the person had. He got deeper with people that also showed up then in his family relationships, his loved ones, that kind of thing. In other parts of his life, he actually got more connected as a result of seeing how much he didn't want to interact with this person. And he became over about the next year of thinking about this, someone who didn't want to have any type of person that they didn't want to be with. He became someone who was like I just want to be like everyone who could see good in everyone all the time. He became really transformed by this whole thing. It was really awesome. Watch. And his law firm worked better together achieve more of their goals as a result of that transformation that he had. Remember 100%. 100% he transformed himself. He took on this shifted way of being as a leader and then there was a huge ripple around him in the whole company. I hope that's helpful. I hope you hear something for yourself as well. I know it made a difference for me not only as a coach to have that interaction but to apply that to myself in my own life. So thanks so much everyone. We'll talk to you again next time. Like subscribe, etc. Get these tips and ideas and things every week in your feed, wherever that might be, or@scalingcoach.com we'll talk to you again. Keep Scaling Up. Are you ready to turn your goals into daily wins? You should check out our Scoreboard software powered by Align. It's the official software for scaling up. With Scoreboard, you'll get an AI driven coach for priorities and KPIs and it'll help keep your team focused on what matters most. With Align, you can track your goals in real time and you'll even see results on the go. With their mobile app, you can rest easy knowing that Align has world class onboarding and support to set your team up for success. This is really more than just software, it's what I actually use to manage growth in our scaling up client teams. Unlock clarity and results with Scoreboard by Align. To try it now, go to aligntoday.com Bill G One more time. Aligntoday combilg that's aligntoday.com Bill G Check it out and try it now.