08: World's First Armless Pilot... & How She Obtained her Pilot's License... with her Feet? // The Story of Jessica Cox

In the end, it doesn't feel as wonderful as people may think when you prove someone wrong. I feel like when they do hear my story, they are able to realize that the only limitations are those that they create in their own life.

Welcome to From Rock Bottom to Rockin It. I'm your host, Eric Gilbert Williams and this is the podcast where we explore personal stories of people who hit absolute rock bottom, then got back up, wiped off the dust, kicked failure to the curb, and now they're roc rocking it like you'd never believe if you didn't hear it. Live right here, we cover subjects in business, sports and life in general. If you like this podcast, please share it. These interviews are intended to inspire, to motivate, to give hope and vision. So please share this episode with someone who needs it. Use your Instagram Account, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn hand signals trained pigeon sent smoke signals up in the air. Use Morse code, whatever you like. Just share the love and share this episode. Also, email me anytime. Podcasterrickgilbertwilliams.com Send me questions you would like to have asked of future guests and I will incorporate them. Or just send me some suggestions on how to run a better podcast. Or just say hello, I'd love to hear from you. That's podcastericgilbertwilliams.com I know you're going to love today's interview, so let's get started Here with us. Today on From Rock Bottom to Rockin it is the world's first armless pilot, Jessica Cox. Born in Arizona, Jessica came onto this earth with no arms at birth. But that didn't stop her from achieving her dreams. She obtained her solo pilot's license using only her toes and only her feet. Her achievement earned her a Guinness World Record medal. She's been featured on TV programs like Ellen, Inside Edition, Fox and Friends, the Oprah Winfrey Network, cnn, CBS Evening News and the BBC. She's also a black belt in Taekwondo. She's been featured in a award winning documentary called Right Footed. She plays piano, she speaks on stages all over the world. She's an author of the book called Disarm youm Limits and she's here with us today. Now on From Rock Bottom to Rockin It. Jessica, I love the title of your book, Disarm youm Limits. Tell me, was that a pun intended or was that just a coincidence?

Just so it's clear, I actually am not in charge of the documentary called Right Footed. That was done by an amazing man named Nick Spark. He did the documentary and he's the executive Director as well as the producer on that. But as far as my book, that was all my work for sure. And it was quite the journey to find the perfect fitting title because I knew that obviously I wanted to put a put on word because of the fact that there are so many out there for hands and arms. And I was just going through all those different things like, you know, look, ma, no hands, all these different phrases. You hear that? So when it came to disarm your limits, I thought it'd be very fitting because of the fact that other people create limits in their life. And I feel like when they do hear my story, they are able to realize that the only limitations are those that they create in their own life. And I hope to help people break through with that.

And this is a powerful subject. You know, I can relate to this. When I was struggling as a teenager myself, and I'm sure that listeners, thousands of people out there can relate as well. How do we differentiate a real problem versus one that's in our own mind? Right. What's the difference between a perceived problem that we're making a mountain out of, a molehill out of versus something that's legitimately all right, this is a showstopper. This is a legitimate problem. We need to focus on how do we differentiate between these.

Unfortunately, we are surrounded by negativity. I heard it was once said that the Average person receives 180,000 negative imprints by the time they're age 18. If you can imagine how much negativity is around us, whether it's external or internal, we're going to have self doubt. We're going to battle with a lot of negativity, with a lot of I can't do this, I can't do that. And it's all around us. So I think that bringing awareness to that choice that we have every day to eliminate I can't from our vocabulary is very important. I love to be a reminder of that.

Okay, So I think about in the average day when I'm going around doing my business and I'm talking to people, talking to friends, family, associates, business contacts, and I'm hearing the words I can't. Now the phrase I can't or I could have or I would have, or I should have, right? Woulda, coulda, shoulda. And I hear these words all the time, all these reasons that people come up with on why they haven't fulfilled their dreams or why they're not going to try to fulfill their dreams or why they stopped fulfilling, fulfilling their dreams, right? And then Here you are coming up out of nowhere and you just do it. You don't think about it, you don't talk about it. You don't start and then stop. You just start and then finish. And now you've achieved that dream. You've done it right? You just went and did it no matter what was going on. And why do people get stuck, right? People out there? Why is it that some people get stuck and then other people just go ahead and achieve these wild dreams exactly like you have?

Well, one of the things is shifting your attitude and your perspective because too oftentimes we want to look at what we don't have. We want to look at the things that aren't there, the resources that are not available. But coming from the I can attitude and a mindset that I'm going to make it work no matter what, it's really coming from a more powerful mindset of I'm going to find a way no matter what it takes. And with that, you can go forward and you can find resources to make your dreams come true with persistence. So it's really about seeing what you do have instead of focusing and dwelling on what you don't or what's not available to you.

Okay, on the subject of writing a book, how did you write your book? You have no arms, right? You have no fingers to type on a keyboard with, but you wrote a book anyways. And I know people who have wanted to write a book for ages and they haven't, right? They have all these reasons on why they haven't wrote it yet. But here you are and you did this. So tell me, how did you write a book with no arms? So how did that work? Did you just transcribe it or did you type it with your toes? Like, what was this?

I used a variety of methods to write this book. I, for one, am better with voice activation, but I was somewhat slow to pick that up. So I was there typing for a majority of it with just my toes on the home keys of the keyboard. And I have them memorized in the same way. Most people with their hands who have taken any form of typing class had memorized their home keys with their fingers. I do the same with my toes. And that's exactly how I went about most of the book. My structure was very critical and having some help from other people as well who helped me write the book, like my brother and a couple people who contributed. My husband helped me out and a couple others to make this a wonderful piece to help empower other people to be A self help book and the story of my life. So it's not just the story of my life, but it's different points and elements that can help other people in their own challenges.

I love it. You just get it done, you make it work. That's awesome. All right, so now about flying, about being a pilot. I'll tell you a short story and then have a serious question for you. So when I was little, I was about maybe 16 roughly when I started to get into a lot of trouble. And by the time I was 17, I was deep in trouble and with the law and really difficult time for me. And I had to go to talk to my lawyer with my mom because she was. I was a youth at the time, so I needed to have a parent guardian there. So I'm there with my mom in the lawyer's office and we're talking and the lawyer's telling us what to do and not to do when we go in front of the judge and behind the lawyer on the wall was a picture of him flying some military aircraft. And I thought, man, this looks amazing, right? I want to be a pilot. And it spurred up this passion inside me. And I couldn't help in my naive youth times to just blurt out in the middle of the serious convers that I wanted to be a pilot and trying to talk about it. And the lawyer got really angry. He stood up and he smacked the desk with his hands and he pointed at me and he yelled and he said, you will never be a pilot. And he crushed my dream, right? He just stared me down and he said, I will never be a pilot. And he was trying to scare me and, you know, put me back on track. He was trying to, you know, put light on the situation, but the overall effect wasn't that at all. It just keyed into my rebellious nature and made me think of him as an asshole. But the point is, when I started to actually fly for real, I started to realize that he was wrong. And even though his opinion was powerful and strong and intimidating, it was wrong. And ultimately I was able to go fly in some really cool scenarios across the world. So, Jessica, tell me about your journey when you were becoming a pilot and you had all sorts of different types of obstacles to overcome. Just share with people that are listening today your journey in getting your pilot's license.

Well, I decided to become a pilot when I first sat in a small airplane for the first time in my life. I'd never been in a small airplane. I'd been on many commercial flights, but Never a single engine. And I sat in that Cessna on that first day of flying, I said, I want to do whatever it takes to become a pilot. And surprisingly, the aviation community, pilot people who support aviation in one way or another were 100% behind me. Yes, there were people who doubted me. It's like, just like you said, the person who doubted you. There were many doubters out there, never to the extent of standing up and declaring, you're never going to become a pilot. And I guess I was fortunate for that. And I feel so bad that you had to go through that, that someone crushed your dream like that without even giving you a chance.

He was wrong, so I guess I forgive him.

Yeah, exactly. So you proved him wrong. And, and from an early age, I learned how to prove people wrong myself. So it was, it was something that almost was a built in to me type of thing where someone tells me, you can't. Well, I said, well, then watch me. And since that was something established from a very young age, I guess I was more resilient to those doubters out there that I can't even recall them because I easily blocked them out of my life.

How do you do that? How do you block them out?

Well, you have to be so focused and you have to be so have so much desire to do something that you're willing to almost get to a point of tunnel vision. And that tunnel vision will, like, help you, like, get into the zone, get it done, do what it takes, be persistent, and just, you know, just keep on doing it until you finally get what you need achieved. When you're in the zone, you are basically all those negative people or the negativity that comes from around you. You just have to block it out. And for me, it was ignoring it and it was really just making sure that I knew what it is that I wanted and having that desire so real, so true to me, that I would sit and see a picture of an airplane on the backdrop of my computer every single morning during my training process when we were going through all these hurdles and obstacles and even a point where I didn't train for a solid year because people thought it was just. They did everything they could to get me to that point and we didn't know if we could move forward. And during that very doubtful year, I remember pulling up a picture and putting it on the backdrop on my computer and every morning spending a couple seconds looking at that airplane, envisioning what it was like to be flying that plane and making that vision a reality is what I had to do. I had to feel it, I had to believe it. And then those logistics lined up once I started to focus in on that airplane.

I love it. You know, one thing that you and I have in common, Jessica, is. All right, so I'm looking at the backdrop to my computer screen right now when I open up my laptop. And that background image is a picture I took of my dream board that I have back in my office. And the dream board that I made in my office is a collage of images that are really important to me. They all represent things I'm really passionate about, things I want to create and manifest in my life. And I put them all together on a simple collage so that I can look at it every day. So every time I open up my laptop, I see these images and it reminds me why I'm doing what I'm doing and what's important in my life. And it helps me prioritize. Now, for you, what is this? Is this Law of Attraction? Is this all wooey? Is this scientific and stimulating the brain to think about different actions that I can take today? Is it about science or is it about something else? Like, why did you put that image up and you know, what inspired you to do that?

Well, I wish I could give you an actual name for it. I know Law of Attraction. I didn't even know about the Law of Attraction when I was actually envisioning this. It wasn't until later in life when I was introduced to the secret and Law of Attraction and all those different terms. Obviously, I think in my own life, personally, I feel like faith was a tremendous part. I'm a woman of faith, and faith played a huge part in my wanting to pursue this dream with courage and not giving up. It was a lot of focus, it was a lot of persistence, which has been in part of my life from the very beginning. But I wish I could tell you an answer, but I don't exactly know what the term would be. It's probably a variety of things that came together to play out when I needed it.

I like that answer because it tells me that you just knew it was the right thing to do. And, you know, how does it work? Do you ask yourself, all right, what do I want to do here? I want to be a pilot. Great. So what's the first thing I can do? Well, all right, let's put this image up on so I can see and look at it. And every time I look at that image, I'm going to feel what it's like to be a Pilot. I can imagine myself being there. I can visualize it, right? And then once you have this visual, does it, like, inspire some actions that you can take? Okay, I can. I can apply here. I can talk to this person, or I can practice this, or I can study that. And then the next day, it just builds on itself. And when we see this image for you, does it stir up a feeling, like an inner gut? Just, all right, this is it. I am now going to be a pilot. I'm dedicated, and every day, this is going to be my little source of motivation. So every day I compound my little tiny baby steps, and next thing you know, a week's gone by and a month's gone by and six months have gone by and. And now I've actually made some serious progress. Right. To me, I look at the concept of law of attraction, either mystically or scientifically. However you want to look at it from a magical perspective or from a scientific brain neurology perspective, I look at it in that way. And how about you? Does this make sense to you? Is this how you look at this subject, or do you have a different perspective?

No, it definitely is. That's very true about how I think about things, and I think it's very achievable for others as well. Maybe there's just a little bit more self doubt there that comes into play, which ends up hurdling, becoming a hurdle for what it is you want to do. And so, yeah, I agree with you.

Now, this year marks the 30th anniversary of Americans with Disability Act. Is that correct?

That is correct, yes.

Okay. And this is, I'm assuming, a organization that's very important to you. Is that fair to say? Like, tell me, your relationship with this organization. What does it mean to you?

Well, the Americans with Disabilities act, it was passed in the 90s when I was a first grader in elementary school. And I remember very vividly when this happened, because there were a lot of accommodations that were done and put in place at the school itself to make sure that I could be independent and I could be just as successful as any other student. I was given a special desk that was lower so it was easier to write with my toes. The doorknobs in the classroom were changed from rack doorknobs, the lever doorknobs, so that if I had to get in and out of the classroom, I could do so on my own. I was given a special restroom at the school so I could be independent in that area. And I was just given the support I needed. To be a successful student. And of course, that ended up affecting me throughout all my school years, all the way through college, and then on to being able to have the opportunity to become a pilot. Because the Americans with Disabilities act was behind me as something in place that wouldn't allow for discrimination if I wanted to pursue whatever dream it was, whether it was medical school, which I considered for a little bit, or whether it was becoming a pilot or becoming a businesswoman. And that's the route I ended up taking. And for me, the ADA was there to make sure that nothing could stand in the way between my dream and what it is I needed to do to accomplish that.

What do you think your life would have been like without the American with Disabilities Act?

Well, I think about that, and I don't know. I know a lot of what I've done has definitely been self driven. So that aspect I would still have as part of me because it is who I am. And I think the Americans with Disabilities act, though, it really. It really laid the foundation for anyone with a disability to know that the world is open to them for opportunities. I should say the United States is, because it isn't the same in every country in the world. And I'm able to witness that, being a speaker who's spoken in 27 countries, I've been able to see how this isn't always the case for someone born with a disability. In fact, the fact that I was born in the United States with a disability really gave me a head start to being able to access an education, to access work, and all those things that you need to be an independent, successful individual. And those things are not always true. I'm always advocating for so many things, other countries for allowing people with disabilities to be even allowed to go to school, where, unfortunately, not everyone is allowed to go to school if they have a disability.

Just incredible. Yeah, yeah. And then what? Right? Like what? So, okay, you're born with a disability, with norms, and then there's nothing that anyone can do about it. And all this potential and opportunity is kind of taken away from your life. Like, that's not fair.

Yeah. And it wasn't long ago that even in the United States, if you were born with a disability, you were institutionalized. I mean, it's all. Every country is kind of along their own little path of how to create more opportunities for people with disabilities. Some countries are well behind that, and unfortunately, they have a long ways to go before they're able to allow that for people with disabilities. But I feel fortunate that I was born when I was born because I went to a public school and I wasn't ever looked at as, you know, why are you here? You shouldn't be in this school. But I was given all the essential things that I needed to do in order to become a pilot. I had to have aerospace knowledge and aeronautical knowledge and all that is about science and mathematics and all that it builds on itself. And if I didn't have any of those basics, then I wouldn't have been able to understand what it means to fly and all the knowledge base that you have to have to become a safe pilot.

Without getting too political on us here, it's inspiring to me to hear that maybe as humans, maybe we are getting some things kind of right or mostly right or partially right. And when we have people like you who just come and do the impossible because that's what you did, right. And that's also the definition of impossible. It's only impossible until someone comes along and does it. It's only impossible until Jessica Cox comes along and does it. Then for me, anyways, it gives me this perspective that, you know, maybe there is a lot of good in the world, maybe there is a lot of hope. But I'm also sure that it wasn't all sunshine and roses. It wasn't all just easy process to overcome these obstacles and do what you did. So when we come back from this little break, Jessica, I'd like to ask you an important question about your rock bottom experiences. I'd like you to share with me and everyone listening what your absolute rock bottom moments were while you were on this process of fulfilling your dreams. That when we come back from this short break from rock bottom to rockin. It is brought to you by. Wait for it. It's brought to you by me. I pay for this. I'm the sponsor. I do this because I'm passionate about these subjects. I love talking to people who have overcome great adversity. It resonates with me deep in my soul and I want to share this with the world. I want to help someone else out there. I want to help you guys. My only ask for you is to please share this episode. Share it on your social media, Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, whatever it is that you use. A trained pigeon, send a fax, you know, smoke signals, whatever method works for you, please share it. That's my only ask. And remember to check out Jessica's website. You can book her as a speaker. You can buy her book on Amazon. The book is called Disarm youm Limits. And I'll tell you what, she has a foundation that she mentions here on the show, the Right Footed Foundation. I just went onto her website right now for real as I'm recording this and I donated $100 because it was that easy and because it's for a good cause. It doesn't matter if you go on there and donate $5 or $10. I prefer it if you donate a 10,000. If that's the case kind of person you are, that'd be great. But just check it out. Donate a little bit to a good cause. It was that easy. I just did it right now and got my confirmation message. And now back to our show. Okay, we're back now on from Rock Bottom, the Rockin it with Jessica Cox and Jessica, first of all, thank you again for being here. I really appreciate this. And tell me about your rock bottom moments. What was it and what was it like?

I remember there was a moment when I felt super self conscious about my difference and the fact that I didn't have arms. And this happened off and on growing up because as a young woman it was always difficult to be different because all you ever wanted, all I ever wanted to do was blend in with all the girls. And there were times when I really was. The self consciousness was heightened. And I remember though, one moment where I was very self conscious going into a public store. And it was, I was having a rough day to begin with. It was one of those bad days. And I remember just wanting to go into the store, get what I needed to get done and leave and just go home because it was just one of those days.

Yeah, it should be simple, right? It should be straightforward.

And I went in and it was like every single person in that store was staring at me that day. And my consciousness of being stared at and being alienated and being singled out was very heightened. And I just remember feeling so isolated because of my difference at that moment in the store. I walked up and down the grocery aisle at the cashier just to be able to find someone I was looking for. And I felt like every head was turning like a domino effect as I walked up and down looking through these cashiers for my friend. And I remember how rough it was at one moment. I just felt like all I wanted to do was stand behind this rack of clothing and just hide from the world. And I and I started to walk that way and stand behind this rack of clothing to be able to be, to be invisible and make, make it so that no one could stare at me anymore because it was just, I Couldn't take one more stare at that moment. And I just remember, though, thinking to myself, you know, I'm thinking, well, God, why can't you just make me normal? Why can't I just fit in with everyone else? And it was just a very low moment because I felt like everyone was against me in the world at that moment. And it wasn't the only moment like that, but it was definitely one that stands out in my mind, is hitting rock bottom. And I just said that. And I just. I ended up. I don't remember what exactly happened after that, but it was just one of those moments where I just felt really isolated and it was a rough time. And I thought, you know, maybe, you know, I guess there was something that brought me out of that. But it was really weird because just a week later, I went back to that same store and I was pumping gas into my car at the gas station of the store, and a man came out and he had. He came out with tears on. He was basically crying. And he came up to me and he said, I just want to tell you that you standing there pumping gas into your car with your foot and doing that all by yourself has really inspired me and my daughter, because my daughter and I lost a couple of our fingers due to an accident not too long ago. And we were really having a rough day. But we saw you standing there and doing that all by yourself, without any arms, without anyone's help, and it really has made our day. And I realized that somehow my situation was giving hope and inspiration to so many people. And I think that's what helped me kind of come full circle from that rock bottom moment.

And I would imagine that you must bump into a lot of people like this. You know, people sending you messages or emails or letters, or when you're out speaking to audiences across the world and traveling, people must tell you about the stories that they've had or that they're going through. And, you know, what's it like to receive these kind of messages, and what's it like to see just how many people's lives you're touching and influencing in such a positive way?

It is incredibly rewarding to know that I'm able to touch lives. Sometimes I don't even realize the magnitude, because if you can imagine, I'm speaking to hundreds and thousands of people at times. And when you hear that all the time, you don't really understand its impact until you hear an individual story. And I think one time I received an email from India from a man who didn't even see me speak or I've never met him. And he just saw my story on an email that was passed around, and he was suicidal at the time and saw that email, and it gave him hope to keep moving forward and just to be able to be that. That. That gave me chills when he emailed me to tell me that. And I wished him the best and told him that that was so rewarding to get that email from him. And I was hoping the best for him in his life.

And in my opinion, that's one of the beauties of this age of connectedness that we're in right now. The age of the Internet, the age of information, where people all across the world, we can share these positive, influential, supportive stories with each other instantly, anywhere, anytime, consistently, and we can all benefit from it, just like we're doing right now.

Yes, we need more of it.

So who was your inspiration when you were little? Right? You're growing up and you're like, why don't I have arms? And why do other people have arms? And why me? Right? Who was it that helped you see the world in a positive way and helped you make sense of what was going on when you're little? Who was your inspiration?

When I was younger, I had a combination of people in my life that had a huge impact. Well, my mother, for one. She really created this foundation of faith that God had a reason, and that helped me out. And meeting a mentor, meeting a woman who was also born also, she lost her arms and was living life through her feet. That had a tremendous impact on me because I didn't know there was anyone else out there. And knowing that she was out there living her life, she was married, she had two sons. She was an amazing mom. It inspired me that I could just do anything I wanted to do. And for me, that was tremendous. And I knew that I wanted to do the same thing for so many other people who are. Who feel alone or feel like no one understands them, or parents who are worried about their children who are born missing limbs. And so my whole foundation now is focused at giving that back. That same feeling that I received from having a mentor from someone who understands me. I want to give the same thing back and mentor other children born without limbs. And that was the inspiration of my foundation.

Jessica, when I was watching one of your TED talks, there was something you said there that really shook out to me. And in your talk, you said that pity prevents progress. How did you figure that one out? Like, was there a moment that just hit you that because it's so powerful, right? Pity prevents progress. Like I can relate to, like when I was a younger or even as a young adult and struggling, whether as a teen or in my businesses, the moment that I start to pity myself, the moment I start to say, oh, poor me, or I wish this wasn't happening. And, you know, it's a negative cycle. It's perpetual, and it's like an endless pit. It'll just suck up all those creative energies, right? Because all the. The positive creative energies that I might have been able to put towards a solution or to something positive or to creating something cool, all of it just gets sucked up and it goes into this pity realm, and that produces absolutely no positive outcome whatsoever. So, Jessica, how did you figure out that pity prevents progress? You've articulated that perfectly. I'm going to remember that. How did this come about for you?

Well, I think everyone has a moment where they pity themselves or they ask the question, why me? But there's a realization that I have that dwelling on those things really prevents me from moving forward. And I mean, every one of us can dwell on the things that we don't have or dwell on, why me? But it doesn't get us anywhere. It prevents us from moving forward with the things we want to do, and it works against us. And so that's why I wanted to sum that up in that statement that pity prevents progress.

Another thing that stood out to me in the TED Talk was when you said that you wanted to prove to the world that you can, and proving to yourself that you can. And I can relate to this from when I was a young adult, from, you know, between 16 and almost up until a few years ago, where my experience as a child going through elementary school and high school was that I wasn't good enough, is that I was worthless. You know, people pick on me and beat me up, and my marks aren't very good. So when I started to take control of my life and come out of the drug house and start to direct my energies towards positive things and towards manifesting great things in life, I started to realize. Well, I didn't realize it at the time, I should say, but I realize now in hindsight that I was motivated in large part by proving to people that I was better than they were, saying that I was. I was trying to prove to my parents that I actually was good at something. I was trying to prove to the bullies at school that. That I was actually really smart and talented, and I was trying to prove to society that I can be productive and that I am a productive being and I can do cool things in business and in sales and whatever I put my mind towards. And I write about all this stuff almost in these exact same words in my book called the Standing Spot. You can. Anyone listening, you can pick that up either on my website or on Amazon, the Standing Spot. And I describe, you know, this whole process of proving. And a question that pops up on this subject is, is it healthy? Right? Is this a healthy motivator? Is it healthy for me to be motivated by proving other people wrong? Or am I just feeding into an endless cycle of losing my energy? Like, is this a. Is this a bad motivation to be trying to prove people wrong? It's easy to say that, yeah, it is a bad motivation, but at the same time, it almost doesn't matter. I mean, at the time, maybe it was unhealthy to be motivated to prove other people wrong, but the experience was very positive. The experience was that I ended up doing some incredible things that I'm really grateful for, and they're some of the best experiences of my life. So even though it had an arguably negative motivation, the outcome was very positive. And I interpret it as a cycle breaker. You know, if I'm in a really negative cycle, then it almost doesn't matter what breaks that negative cycle, even if it's partly negative itself. If I can break that negative cycle and start to enter slowly with baby steps into a positive one, maybe it's not perfect initially, but with time, it does become better and better and better. And then, of course, in hindsight, you know, there's some pretty awesome memories. So. And that's my question for you now is, is this a healthy motivator? And where's the line between, you know, just getting out of a negative cycle versus, you know, feeding into the life that other people want me to live? Right? Does any of this make sense to you? I literally just went on a ramble rant here. So tell me, like. Like, what does this mean to you and what are your thoughts about all this?

I love that it does resonate with me, because when you think about it, it's not a very authentic way to think that I'm doing this solely to prove other people wrong. And at the end of the day, it doesn't feel as gratifying, as rewarding when you are able to do it because you did it for the wrong reason. And. And I. I constantly ask myself that question as well, because obviously I had been told on a number of occasions that you can't do it. You don't have arms. But in the end it doesn't feel as wonderful as people may think when you prove someone wrong. And so it's something I constantly, I constantly ask myself that too because I make sure that the things that I want to do are from authentic, for authentic reasons.

Right. And this is such an important subject. Right. Because if, if motivation predetermines outcome, then it's really important and healthy for me to check that motivation, you know, And I think back to some of the stuff that I did in my past and you know, building a cool company and selling it or, or you know, flying extreme stunt planes and almost blacking out or, or a big giant long motorcycle trip across the country, a couple countries actually, you know, those types of things. Maybe some of them weren't motivated by healthy reasons. Maybe I was motivated to prove to people that I could actually do this, even though they said that I couldn't. But at the end of the day, who cares? These things were awesome. These are some of the best experiences and memories that I have in my life. And it doesn't even really matter what started them. What matters is that they were. That I turned them into great experiences that I remember and they're anchored in my mind and in my emotions as, as successes. Right. And so tell me about your experiences and like what's your thoughts about this, like about motivations? Do you think similarly about this and the accomplishments of your own life or do you have a different perspective?

I really do think about it because oftentimes when I think about what has really taken me on this journey of doing so many things. Yes, that could have been a motivator from the very beginning as a child being told you can't. But it's wonderful how once you do achieve something, there is this sense of accomplishment and this kind of confidence that comes with it that you want to continue to grow that momentum. So you go on to the next thing and you get this accomplishment and self confidence boost. Then you go on to the next thing and it starts to build and build and build until you become such a positive person and it outweighs any kind of negativity. So in reality, like you said, maybe the motivator wasn't always as positive, but in the end the experience and how it made you a better person, it paid off.

Yeah, the cycle needs to end somewhere, somehow. It almost doesn't matter how. You know, these cycles, this prison in my mind of oh, I can't or this isn't something I can do, you know, it doesn't matter how I break through these mental barriers. It doesn't really matter how it ends. What matters is that it does end and that we start to spin this energy in a positive direction, that we. We harness and redirect this energy inside of us to doing something productive that actually helps our lives and getting out of that cycle, that brings a lot of benefit to ourselves and ultimately brings a lot of good to the whole world.

That's very true. Yeah.

And this leads into another one of the quotes that I heard you say on one of your TED talks. And the quote goes, I think it was by Eleanor Roosevelt. And it goes, no one can make you feel inferior without your permission. Now, you said this quote in front of a lot of people, thousands, if I remember correctly. What does this quote mean to you in your interpretation?

Well, I absolutely love the quote by Eleanor that no one can make you feel inferior without your permission, because I think every single person in the world, and I have to make sure that I include that quote in every speech that I do. Everyone has their own battle. Everyone has their own inferiority complex or feeling of less than, whether it's not having arms or something your parents told you at some point in your childhood that you'd never make it, or something a classmate told you. We have all these traumatic stories that are. That happen in our lives, and so everyone has that feeling of inferiority. And it's important to realize that when those things happen in life, we have to choose whether we allow it to affect us negatively or if we allow. Allow it to propel us forward, or if we want to ignore it, it's our choice. And that's something that I need to remind people of because it's constantly happening on a daily basis. I mean, it still happens to me. It still happens to everyone. And when we're always having those things happen in our life, we are at a point where we have to choose how we let it affect us.

All right, Jessica, so what's next in your life? What's coming up here? What's a day in your shoes? And, you know, what are you focused on here for the next year coming up? For example?

Right now I'm focused on an amazing effort at bringing awareness to my nonprofit foundation that helps people with disabilities. And I will continue to. It's called Right Footed Foundation International.

What's the website? And, you know, how do people find it?

It's jessicacox.com through my main website, you can find my foundation.

So people can basically just go to your website, check out your foundation Support it, Donate, contribute. Is that pretty much how it works? Is that how people get involved and reach out to you?

Yes, please do reach out. We have so many social media handles, and we are trying to get the message out there that disability doesn't mean inability. And also, I will continue to do my speeches around the world. I've spoken in 27 countries so far, and I hope to continue to expand that and reach more people and all the while improving lives of people with disabilities around the world. Because, as I mentioned in the beginning of the interview, not everyone with a disability has the opportunity at education, has an opportunity at employment, and some even not even have. May not even have the opportunity at even living, unfortunately. So I think that it's important to continue to get the message out there and to empower people around the world.

So one of the things I did before we came onto this interview was I started researching good jokes about legs and feet and arms because I thought that would be good. But, you know, I'm not going to try my hand at being a comedian. I'm just going to stick to what I'm doing right now and be a good host. So. But I would like to know if you can tell me, like, tell me some of the funny stories that might have happened, you know, throughout your life and throughout all these accomplishments. Or, you know, maybe there was nothing funny at all. Maybe, maybe this was all super serious. But I have a feeling there's probably a couple funny things that might have happened.

Oh, there are always funny moments. Literally, just last week, I walked into a Trader Joe's, which is basically a grocery store, in case you don't have it in your state or other cities. And I walk in, and I literally walk up to the first person I see who's bringing some vegetables and clearing out the. The vegetable area. And I said, can you please help me find some hand sanitizer? And it occurred to me that this. This guy has probably never seen an armless woman his whole life. And here's armless one walking right up to him and asking that. That was the only thing I needed from that store. And he just looked at tape, Mary. His face just drew a whole blank blank. He was just, like, stunned by the question. And then it's probably wondering, why does someone without arms need hand sanitizer? Anyway, it was a funny experience. And there are always those moments where people will be caught off guard by seeing me, and I love to get the reactions that I do.

So you're giving me ideas here, Jessica. I'm just getting this inspiration right now to do a YouTube style video where just for laughs, where a camera follows around and we stage some people. Right? We can just follow reactions of people and you can ask them where the hand sanitizer is. Right. Or ask them like, hey, let's do a thumb war and just kind of see how people respond and react. I think it'd be really funny. It would be a total waste of time, but maybe completely hilarious. And it might even go viral to do these types of hidden camera, funny little videos. Would you be down for something like that or is this way outside of the realm of something you might do? Tell me. Let's just do this. Would you be in for that?

Yeah, come on down to choose on. Let's do that. With your creativity, I think this would.

Be a lot of fun.

Yeah, let's do. Let's do a blooper video. That would be hilarious. Yeah, great.

How do you play piano? Like, do you just play with your toes? Like, is it that simple or not? Is it? How do you do this?

I talked earlier about how I type on a keyboard and the same concept with playing a piano, I just use my toes. Now, my toes don't reach in the same way the fingers would. So there are some limitations to the keys that I can reach, but I do make some modifications to that. But, and mostly I would say the big toe and that third toe are the ones that reach the keys. First, second and third toe on both feet are the toes that use the keys the most. Because you don't really. I don't have much dexterity with that second to last toe and the pinky toe.

Totally understandable. Now, when we come back from this short break, I want to ask you how many people told you no? How many people said that you would not become a pilot? That's the question I have for you when we come back from this short break. Eric here. I hope you're enjoying the episode today. This is a passion project that I put together. I really wanted to do this. I really want to help people out there. I had so many people reach out to me when I was younger and when I was having a tough time and struggling. I've written a book about it. You can check it out on my website. Please do. But most importantly, reach out to me. Give me some feedback. What could I do better with this podcast? What am I doing that I should stop? What am I not doing that I should do? Tell me your experience. Give me some tips and suggestions. I really want to design this to suit your needs. And all you got to do is send me an email. It's ericericgilbertwilliams.com or use the contact me button that you'll find on my website. Just send me an email. We'll have a phone call or we'll chat online. Doesn't really matter. I would love to hear from you and figure out how to make this show even better with your help. So please reach out and don't be shy. Okay, we're back here on from a rock bottom. The rockin it from this short little break. And Jessica, tell me how many people said no to you? How many people tried to crush your dream and said that you could not fly a plane?

Maybe two or three times. I don't think people were as confrontational with telling me what they may have thought or the doubts they may have had because I really either I blocked them out or they just didn't tell me to my face. They may have told someone else. And I heard through the grapevine that they said such and such. But I really cannot tell you that I was told numerous times, you can't fly an airplane. I was so zoned into flying this plane that I blocked it all out. But really, I cannot tell you that I was told that numerous times.

Did you feel that way? That maybe this isn't going to work?

I think about the roughest year of my training, and I think that there was definitely doubt as to whether this was going to work. And like most doubt in my life, it propelled me and made me want to do it even more. So there was some doubt. Naturally, there were some logistics after that second airplane, after that many hours already training, which was beyond the average student pilot by far. And so I remember there was some doubt, but I never really lost faith in what I wanted to do. And I mean, I hung onto that goal and I was just like, yeah, I know there's going to be doubt around me, but I didn't question my own abilities, I should say. But there were doubters out there.

I love that you found a way to just block them out and to focus on what's really important to you. And I hope that listeners here today can reflect on this, you know, and ask yourself, what's a little thing you can do today to block out some of those voices and some of those people that are holding you back? I remember for me, one of the things I had to do when I was younger. So you see, I live in this world where I like to create and do these amazing things and embrace life and passion and just, you know, live life to its fullest. And my dad, my biological dad, anyways, lives in a different dimension, I call it. He lives in a different world, right? He. He doesn't see life in the same way that I do in any way, shape or form. It was a very negative influence for me growing up. If I had have adopted his mindset, I never would have been on this podcast. I never would have flown a plane, I never would have traveled the world and done these kinds of things. When I realized this, it came to a point where I had to tell him. I had to say, dad, look, I love you, but what's best for me in life right now is because he always wished me the best, or he'd say, I always want the best for you. And so one day I said to him, I said, you know, dad, what's best for me right now is to not talk to you for a while until I straighten out my life. And I was around, I think I was around 22 at the time, and I cut him out completely from my life for four years. I didn't tell him my new phone number or my new address or my email. I didn't talk to him for four years. And I cut him out completely because I needed to remove the negative influences in my life so that I could focus on finding myself and on finding a life direction that I'm going to be happy and proud of because, you know, we only get one shot at this life. So it was really difficult to cut him out like that. I mean, this is family, this is blood. But it was the right thing for me to do. And had I not done that, I never would have been able to embrace my entrepreneurial passions in the way that I have. And, you know, once I had figured out my life and started to be on a positive path and a constructive direction, I did come back, right? And we did reconnect and reunite. And that was great. And Jessica, I'm blown away with how casually you said that. You just block it out. Like, to me, this was a huge life changing experience. But you just said it so casually, like, what does that mean to you? Like, how did you do that so definitively with such conviction? How do you just block people out like that? It's almost like it was second nature for you.

If you could imagine being told even like the first day of your life that, that you're, you know, that you. You probably not going to be able to do things or, I mean, it was probably just like you said, second nature. It had to Be. It was my. It was my survival technique. I had to develop that really thick skin to be able to survive and to get out there and get things done. And since it was second nature and it was something that I could turn on right away, it made it so much easier when I needed it throughout life.

So you had prosthetics at one point, right?

Yes.

And I think that you were 14 when you decided to take them off. Is that correct?

That is correct. Yes. I was 14 when I decided not to wear them again.

And in your TED Talk, I think that you said that you took off those prosthetics arms to be true to yourself, and you were encouraging people to, metaphorically speaking, take off their prosthetics arms and figure out how they can add to society, to essentially discover those inner beauties and inner strengths that are buried deep within us and let them out. So, please, I love this subject. If you can add to this. Tell me your thoughts and what's your opinions and your philosophy on this subject.

Well, I struggled for many years with wanting to be like everyone else and like most teenagers would. And I was given the option of prosthetics not necessarily because I like them, but because it was advised that it's best I learned to use them while I'm younger so that I could function with them as an adult if I so choose to continue wearing them for my adult life. And I really resented them early on. I mean, I had my first prosthetic at the age of three. And at the age of five, I was given two prosthetic arms and wore them to school and was required to wear them to school every single day. And it was just. It was almost like this, like, shell that prevented me from being myself. And I was. I was screaming at times, wanting to get out of that shell because I really resented them. And I really felt trapped because there were adults telling me I needed to wear them, and then there was my child, my childish voice saying, I don't need them. I'm just. I'm better with my toes and my feet. And so finally I came to an age where I was told that I was old enough to make the decision, my own decision. And. And I moved forward to my first day of eighth grade without wearing the prosthetic arms. And I haven't put them on since. But that was the best decision of my life, to move forward without feeling like I had to be like everyone else. I had to have the arms because everyone else has arms.

So you're telling your story on tv. You're on news stations. You're on Ellen. You're with the Oprah Winfrey Network. Tell me, is Ellen and is Oprah as down to earth, grounded and as funny as they are on tv, or is it different? They're listening right now, so watch your words. No, I'm kidding. But for real, are they just like they are in real life as they are on tv? Is it the same thing?

I actually had not met Oprah, but I did meet Ellen. I was on Oprah Winfrey Network and I was on the Ellen show, and I met her in person. And when the cameras stopped rolling, I have to say, Ellen is the same person you see on television as you see right there in front of you, maybe even when the camera stopped rolling. She's even a little more reserved than you would have thought because, you know, she's always funny, she's always joking around. And I remember asking her, and I said, ellen, how would you like to go flying with me? And this was after the cameras were rolling, and she said, I'm terrified of flying. And I guess anyone who's a fan knows that she's flying. Absolutely terrified of flying. So that was basically her way of saying, no, she wouldn't go flying with me. But, yeah, she was the same person there as you would think she would be. Being in front of her as the same person is very transparent.

Yeah, I had a feeling you were going to say something like that. I mean, to be authentic like that is probably, in my opinion, one of the reasons they're so successful. Right. And that leads me into my next question. So, I mean, Jessica, you wake up like anyone else does. You put on your clothes like anyone else, and you do your shower, brush your teeth just like anyone else does. You make your coffee. And so people listening to this right now, I want you to just take a moment and reflect and think about this. You know, it's not about putting on a fake face. Life and success isn't about being someone that you're not. It's the opposite, actually. It's about digging down deep inside, going through that crusty layer to find the gold that's hidden below the surface within each of us. You know, it looks a little bit different for us, right? Some people, we might find that buried treasure to be representative in art or in dance or in music, or maybe it's in business or maybe it's in problem solving or maybe it's in science. Right. It's different for everyone. And switching your mindset to being in a place where you can accept that look, people out there, they want to know who you really are. They want to know what your hidden treasures are and what gold you're hiding and haven't discovered yet, even for yourself. People want to know. They want you to succeed. There's thousands of people out there and millions around us and around you that want you to succeed. You're not alone in any of this. There's stories inside of you that are worth sharing, that make a big impact. You know, Jessica's here on the show today sharing her story. This isn't her coming on to the show and putting on a performance. She's not reading a script right. There's no preconceived ending of how this is going to go. This is Jessica sharing her story and positive message to help inspire others. This is about letting the authenticity inside of us out there and be shared and then watching the magic that happens next. I'm really looking forward to seeing what's next for you, Jessica. You know, at nighttime, I love just putting on these inspirational videos and browsing through YouTube and giving myself some some extra little juice of motivation. So, Jessica, back to your website. If people want to reach out and find you, they just go to jessicox.com is that right?

Yes, Jessica Cox.com or you can find me on Facebook. You'd also Find me on YouTube. Just search Jessica Cox's channel and connect with me. And I really love that you challenged your listeners right now to just be authentic and to be real because their life will take off. And I just want to second that. So thank you.

Thank you again so much for taking the time out of your day to come onto this show and to share your personal opinions and your story with everyone who is listening. And keep in mind, remember, I really think that this YouTube viral video concept could go somewhere. We should really focus on that sanitizer one first. And oh, and by the way, I would love to go flying with you. You didn't invite me. You invited Ellen. But, hey, I'm inviting myself, if you don't mind. I would love to go flying with you someday.

Yeah, come on out for sure. Yeah, you're always welcome.

Thanks. I really appreciate you coming on the show.

Okay, thank you. Take care.

All right, you too. And to everyone listening, have a rockin it day. Remember to subscribe to this channel and share this episode with your friends and with people who need to hear this. And that's it, my friends, for this episode. We will see you next time. Please send me an email, say hello, give me some feedback. Let me know what you think. Give me some tips and suggestions. I'd love to hear from you. Also, please share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, doesn't matter. Just get it out there. I really appreciate it. And we'll see you next time on From a Rock Bottom to Rockin it. Have a Rockin it day.