10: Biker Gangs & Drug Addiction to helping Kids Heal & Grow // The Story of Joe Calendino

So now I have a father with mental health and as a youngster I'm visiting my dad in jail and once I met her through her daughter, she took a chance. She is a vice principal for a school district. Her name is Brenda and now Brenda Calendino. I ended up marrying her.

Welcome to From Rock Bottom to Rockin It. I'm your host, Eric Gilbert Williams and this is the podcast where we explore personal stor people who hit absolute rock bottom, then got back up, wiped off the dust, kicked failure to the curb, and now they're rocking it like you'd never believe if you didn't hear it. Live right here, we cover subjects in business, sports and life in general. If you like this podcast, please share it. These interviews are intended to inspire, to motivate, to give hope and vision. So please share this episode with someone who needs it. Use your Instagram Account, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn hand signals. Trained pigeon sent smoke signals up in the air. Use Morse code, whatever you like. Just share the love and share this episode. Also, email me anytime. Podcastricilbertwilliams.com Send me questions you would like to have asked of future guests and I will incorporate them. Or just send me some suggestions on how to run a better podcast. Or just say hello, I'd love to hear from you. That's podcastricilbertwilliams. I know you're gonna love today's interview, so let's get started here with us Today on From Rock Bottom, the Rockin it is Joe Calendino. Joe went from being a successful businessman in the mobile phone industry. And Joe, I have a specific question for you about that when we get started then to riding as a elite member of the Hells Angels to then ultimately living as a drug addict on the streets of Vancouver and losing everything. But then Joe came back. They thought Joe was a goner, but Joe Calendino came back. In 2014, he was honored with the Courage to Come Back Award. And now, while running his powerful nonprofit, the Yo Bro Yo Girl Youth Initiative, Joe also works with the Ministry of Education and the Safer Schools programs together to utilize the GRIP Strategy, Gang Reduction through informed Practice, the GRIP Strategy to prevent Violence and gang involvement in at Risk Youth. He also has a book called To Hell and Back, which we're going to talk about as well. And if you're not familiar with the Yo Bro Yo Girl Youth Initiative or with the coastmentalhealth.com then I suggest you check them out. There's links to both of those great resources and initiatives on my website in the show notes to this episode just go to YBYG Ca. I also personally went to the site just before recording this and donated $100. And I hope that you guys all do as well. I love doing that because I think the money goes to a good cause. I and I believe in it. So speaking of what's going on in the world right now in mental health and working with at risk youth. Joe, thank you so much for joining me today. I'm really happy to have you on the show. How are you doing?

I'm doing very well and thank you for having me on the podcast today. I'm looking forward to the conversation.

Yeah, I think we all are. This show, from rock bottom to rockin it, it's about these people and about these stories that are coming from this absolute rock bottom and working through these challenges and breaking through some of these mental barriers and maybe external barriers as well. To find your rockin it story, to find the light on the other side. And I feel like your story is one that a lot of people here listening can relate to. I know that I personally definitely relate to this. When I was younger, I had a lot of trouble in the law and with crime and with violence as well. And I had my exposure to a very, in a very minimal way to biker gangs that were essentially in the outer circles of my friend group. So there's definitely some stuff that I can relate to here and I want to hear about it in your own words. So we're really glad to have you here, Joe. And before we went live today, I went on to the website of youf initiative, the Yo Bro Yo Girl Youth initiative, and also the Coast Mental Health to support the Courage to Come Back award. And I donated a little bit of money to both. And I hope that anyone listening who has that capacity to support a good nonprofit would do the same. Now, when I went online to make my donation, it predicted exactly how much I wanted to donate. I didn't say it out loud. I didn't type it in anywhere. It read my mind and just populated the right amount. Obviously it didn't read my mind, but you know what I mean, it felt like it at the time. So, Joe, coming from a mobile industry background like you, I gotta ask you, so what do you think happened here? Did Facebook read my mind? Did Zuckerberg create an algorithm to predict exactly how much I wanted to donate? Obviously I'm being ridiculous here, but tell me, in your opinion, what happened there?

Yeah. With the Siegel family. Lawrence Siegel, the founder of the Courage to Come Back Award, I don't know whether it's an algorithm or maybe they seen you donate to Yo Bro Yo Girl and there's a possibility it picked off what you're donating to various different things online and they were able to make an estimation on what you were going to donate. I don't know if you donated to them first or Yo Bro first. And maybe it's just the norm. That's the average donation within Code Capital and the Courage to Come back award.

I knew you'd have a good answer and make sense of it all.

Yeah.

So tell me Joe, in your own words, I mean, you have an incredible story of adversity and overcoming it. In your own words, what the heck happened?

Well, for me, it started off at a very young age. I identified with drugs and gangs going as far back as grade eight. And my first go around with addiction was at 21. I was making poor choices. It is not the same bird as today though. I don't know. Down in the US if you're seeing the opioid crisis with fentanyl and carfentanol and acropentanol, it's terrible. Yeah, it's absolutely tragic. Here in British Columbia, you know, British Columbia has been devastated by the new wave of drugs and legalization of marijuana. And there's mollies and oxies and turcocets and kids have such a wide variety of drugs. And I'm not quite sure of your age, but in speaking to you and seeing your picture online, I think you go as far back as the 90s and 80s where you can recognize that we didn't have the kind of access that kids have access to drugs today.

I didn't. I know that I didn't have access at all when I discovered marijuana and went down my own path. And you might not know, but I ran away from home kind of anyways when I was about 15 to live in a drug house. And I got into a lot of trouble. I was arrested a few times and I didn't see the end of the tunnel. I didn't know where I was going or where this was leading, but it wasn't going anywhere good. Back then, before all of these rules have been changing, marijuana was treated with essentially the same severity that any other drug was treated. Marijuana was equivalently bad in the legalized as cocaine or heroin. So it was all the same thing. And so in the eyes of the law, I was a bad kid. Now all that put together, essentially, I was definitely a lost kid. No matter how you want to look at It. I was lost. I didn't know where I was going. But I was also excited because I had found a peer group at the time that took me in and accepted me. And that peer group and that acceptance solved so many mental challenges. I'll call it a mental health challenge. It solved those challenges that I was having. Almost like that Good Will Hunting movie scene where the guy's hanging around, you know, essentially some bad kids. But those kids are helping him with other emotional issues that are going on. And that's how I felt with my peer group. My peer group was helping me with other problems I had had for a long time. So I was also very excited to be there. Even though I was lost and getting in a lot of trouble. I was also making some significant positive progress in healing some deeper wounds that needed to get dealt with one way or another. Maybe there was a better way to do it than I did, but I guess everyone has their own path. But anyway, so going through this journey at the beginning, it was all exciting. Yeah. This is awesome. Look at this. We can do anything we want. I got friends, we. We got money, we can buy anything we need to buy and just, you know, live large. Right. But then all of a sudden, people start to get hurt or go to jail or complications arise and they get arrested and all of a sudden it's not fun anymore. Shit gets real, real quick going down that path, down that road. So anyways, I agree with you. There just wasn't the resources then that we have now. So sorry, please continue with what your train of thought was there.

Yeah. And what we're seeing today is the age category dropping substantially. We're seeing kids as young as 12, 11, 12, 13 years old. Yeah. As you go on our website, one of the things you will see is that we have to start making a move into elementary schools. Sadly, we have an outreach component where we work with kids in elementary school and also we work very closely. Ironically, how my life comes to be. You alluded earlier to me being an ex full patch member, recovering drug addict. I am very closely attached to various police departments in Delta and Vancouver. Yeah. How my life comes to be. Thanks to Kevin Torvik, who is in the story, a gentleman I grew up with. And he went right, I went left, he became a policeman. And again, I just want to reiterate that we grew up together for outlaw motorcycle gang unit. And I became a full patch member of the Health Angels. And at the end of the day, when I was kicked out of the club after losing my. You alluded to My business and we'll come back to. But Kevin Torvik put his hand out and wanted to help. And it took multiple attempts. With addiction, it doesn't just take one go, one person. It takes multiple attempts for that person to hear and recognize that there's people willing to help. And for those that are struggling with addiction, I would highly recommend, if they have the supports available, that they take on those supports because there are people willing to help. Now rewinding the tape. With my first go around with addiction at 21, my first go around with addiction, similar to you, I did come from a good home though. I didn't have to run away. But I had a father that struggled with mental health, schizophrenia to be exact. And for those that struggle with schizophrenia, at times they don't want to medicate. So as I grew up, I was angry, but I didn't have the right to be angry. But there were not the supports for mental health in the way of those that struggled with mental health and families. So as I was growing up, I was angry with my father, even though I had no right to be angry with my father. It was like, poor me. And there was an altercation that my father got into when he had an episode. Because those that struggle with mental health at times do not want to meditate through this episode. My father got into an altercation and ended up going to prison. So now I have a father with mental health and as a youngster I'm visiting my dad in jail. Right. So that just made me more angry.

Yeah, I can only imagine.

Yeah. But I did not have the right to be angry. It should never been about me. It should have been about my father and what he was dealing with. And I came from an Italian first generation, post war family that had moved to Canada. So you could only imagine food, very loving family, very supportive, not of my father, because they wanted to sweep it under the carpet. Being first generation Italians coming back to the 60s and 70s, they couldn't understand or process it. They didn't understand what my father was going through. As we fast forward the take where my father was in prison and picnics are in a prison yard and seeing my father behind bars and picking up that phone and seeing my dad behind the lens and that just made me more angry. So as I continued to grow, I made a lot of poor choices because of my anger towards my father. Even though the family was very supportive. My aunts, my uncles, my cousins, everybody. You know, my mom struggling, being a single mother, raising three kids. And my father was very hard working Very loving, very about his family. The only thing that meant anything to him with the family as they continued to grow up. As I alluded to earlier, I made a lot of poor choices going back to grade eight in the 80s and we only had maybe five drugs that were available to us. Acid, marijuana, cocaine, mushrooms, heroin was not an option to me going back to that time and alcohol and identifying with a crew, a click gang, going back to high school. So I went through seven different schools and by 21 I was a Koch addict. So from there at 21 I ended up getting clean, going back to school, getting my business degree, ended up working for a major retailer back in the day called AMD Sound and worked my way up the ladder almost to a buyer's position. Didn't get the buyer's position. I was a sales manager for multiple locations throughout British Columbia in greater Vancouver. And when I didn't get the position I ended up quitting. And the owner of the retail location looked at me and said, why are you quitting? I said, why didn't I get the job? He said, well, the person that applied and you were cut shortlisted to the final three, I had more tenure than you. And I said that's exactly why I'm quitting as a sales manager. Being your top salesman and turning around your cell phone department and recreating all the car stereo. Back in the day we had the boom cars, if you remember, back in the 80s and 90s, it's not so much anymore, but I was very passionate about those two areas, cell phones and car stereo. So from there I bought one cell phone and ended up turning that in rewind or fast forward the tape into three locations throughout British Columbia. One in Kamloops, one in Chilliwack and one in Vancouver. So my stores were doing very, very well. And I was married at the time, had a child, had my three locations, but was still a little bit dibble dabbling, identifying with the lifestyle was no longer doing drugs though. But all it took is one second, one moment from somebody from my past to walk in that was a full patch member that said let's go for a beer, I went for that beer and that was it. It was game on again, right? So even though I had built up my stores to three locations and was doing very well, had a home, had a family, had my first child, second child on the way, I then went back into the life cell. I felt like there was something missing, there was something that I needed to accomplish, there was something I needed to do. Even though my stores had an annual revenue of about 7, $800,000 a year. I made a choice to go back into the lifestyle. The cell phone company found out about it and had a picture of me and the gentleman that I was dealing with, my account manager. It was called BC Cellular back in the day. Now today it is called Telus. Telus Mobility. Put a picture in front of me and it was me with my bottom rocker. So I was a prospect at the time. And the bottom rocker is where it says mc. And then the province you're from, like you guys up in the states, you'll see guys from Oakland, California, various different states and all that kind of stuff. So that is your bottom rocker. And I was a prospect at the time. And DC Cellular walked in, or Telus Mobility, as it's known today, and said, you have one of two options. Either I tear that license off your wall or you sell and I have a buyer for you. So my conversation with him was, it's only a motorcycle club. And he said, yeah, right, Joe, I would highly recommend that you take the sale of your business because we will no longer support you. So I ended up selling my cell phone stores, continued on my journey, became a full patch member of the Hell's Angels, the Nomads, to be exact. And then the journey began. And I thought I was living the life, traveling the world. I got to visit various different states down the South. I went to California, New York, Brazil, Italy, France. I got to travel the world, red carpet treatment. But living that life and getting invested in various different behaviors, I started to become a user again. And at the end of the day, basically the guys in the charter said, you're becoming a fuck up. I didn't listen. They gave me multiple opportunities to turn myself around and I didn't. I continued to, you know, fight the world. It was ftw, so. And if you want me to speak freely, FTW mean means fuck the world.

Yeah, And I put that together.

Yeah, that was my mentality. As I continued on the journey, they ended up kicking me out. And I do not blame them for kicking me out. I was a screw up. I was right in the drug thing. I was fighting, my behavior was erratic. And when they kicked me out, they kicked me out honorably, if you can believe that. That's very rare that you'll hear that from an ex full patch member. And they cut me free. And when you invest so much of your lifestyle into a certain lifestyle, when you walk out the door and it's called clubhouses, where various different charters are right.

Yeah. There was one just down the street from me when I was little. I remember that.

Yeah. So I spiraled even further into addiction here in Greater Vancouver. We have a 10 block radius in the Lower east side called DTS, Downtown DTES, Downtown Eastside. And I ended up losing my house, losing my business, losing all my money. I had nothing left. And I fell apart. I fell into addiction. I had nothing left. And every time my name would go over the radio, there would be a gentleman that would show up by the name of Kevin Torvik. That was the gentleman that became the outlaw motorcycle gang unit policeman. And I would think, okay, buddy, what are you doing here? Like, get out. Leave me alone. I don't even want to see you. I don't want to hear from you. I don't want to talk to you. But every time he would hear my name go over the radio and trust me, police took great pride at the time in seeing me in my worst scenario, when I was on a prison floor going through withdrawal because I was wired. I didn't do heroin. I never, ever allowed a needle touch my body. It's my biggest phobia. I have no tattoos or anything like that. It's just because of my fear of needles. I was completely wired. And Kevin Torvik put his hand out. And when I was on a prison floor, when I was caught with $10 worth of crack cocaine, I was emaciated. I was down to maybe 135 pounds, and my average weight, you know, traveled between 180 and 190, and I was about 135 pounds. And Kevin Torvik couldn't believe what he was looking at. I was charged with assault. I was charged with drug possession. I was charged with ppt. Yes, I have a fairly lengthy record. He took one look at me and I just looked up at him as I was sick and shaking and, you know, going through the withdrawal thing. And it's very, very difficult to function when you're going through withdrawal. And for those that are lifting, I pray, I hope that you get the support that is required to get you through the process. And Kevin Torvik, I looked up at him and said, I never want to see a kid go through this. Kevin Torvik is a bit of a. He's a cop. He walks the walk, talks the talk. And he took one look at me and said, you can barely help yourself. How are you going to help a kid?

Yeah. And this is where the inspiration comes to launch and maintain something like the YoBro Yo Girl youth initiative. And as soon as we come back from this short break, Joe, I'd love it if you could share for me and for everyone listening, tell me about the impact that you're having and some of the stories and what's it like as soon as we come back from this short break. Hey, everyone. Eric Here on From Rock Bottom to Rockin It. On today's episode, I decided to support an organization called OurPlacesociety.com this is a place out in the greater Victoria area, bc, Canada, and it's a community service provider for the poor, disadvantaged and homeless in Greater Victoria area. From its Pandora Avenue location, it runs a variety of programs that are transformative and helping people, specifically in doing meal deliveries, housing, health and wellness, education and practical care. They actually serve 1200 nutritious meals and 1000 snacks every single day. It's not free to do that. If you can check out the website and donate now, that'd be amazing. If you know anyone in the Greater Victoria area that might need some help, I encourage you to check out the website. That's our placesociety.com. check out the website. It's easy to navigate and there's lots of really good resources. So thanks again. And now back to the interview. Okay, we're back now here on From Rock Bottom, the Rockin It. And Joe, please tell us about the Yobro Yo Girl Youth Initiative. What are you doing? What kind of impact are you having? What's going on in that initiative and how is it like for you?

YoBro Yo Girl Youth Initiative, It's a drug and gang and choices program. So we are supporting kids in pro social recreational activities after school, during school, on spring break, during the weekend, during summer break, during Christmas break. Yes. I don't have a life. A lot of my life is dedicated to children nowadays. I have a purpose. Kevin had a vision. We came together. We went back to our old high school where there was a gentleman that I went to high school with. And you alluded to the book. Our high school counselor, Kevin Torvik, and myself now became a superintendent, associate superintendent of a school district. So the three of us got together and we said, how do we do this thing? So we started slow and I did a presentation for a WHL hockey team. So that's the minor leagues. Every hockey team, like down in the States and here in Canada have a minor league team. So I did a presentation to a minor league hockey team and Kevin Torbeck took one look and could not believe how the kid just gravitated towards the story. Okay, so from there, Torvik took a chance with his career and brought it to back to the police force and said, gentlemen, I have a great idea. I'm going to bring Joe Calendino into schools to work with kids. You and the listeners can only imagine how well that went being a full batch member, criminal record.

Right. It's a process.

Yeah. And trust me, police officers, I did not like them back in the day and they didn't like me. So as we started the journey, we started to get the support of various different police officers. A from the downtown east side. They were frustrated with what was going on. So Toby Hinton, Mark Steinkamp, police officers started to get invested and also Brandon Steele. So once we got the four of them invested and trust me, Kevin did not make my life easy. I had to jump over hurdle after hurdle after to prove myself. But I continually proved myself and Kevin took a chance and put his career on the line. And from there we started to get traction. So there was one school and then Surrey School district got invested and I went back to school and met a lady who had a very long history working with school districts. And once I met her through her daughter and she took a chance. She is a vice principal for a school district. Her name is Brenda. And now Brenda Calendino. I ended up marrying her.

I saw that. Yeah.

How my life comes to be.

There's this beautiful photo of you standing there with pride on stage there representing Yo Bro and Yo Girl. Just proud about what you built, right. This organization that you've developed.

Yeah. She took a big chance and truly gave me the credibility within school district also with Kevin Torvik and Gary Little being an associate superintendent. And also when we started Yo Bro Yo Girl, we started to write the book. Writing the book took five years. It did not happen overnight or in a week or in a month. It took years to put it together. We wanted to be respectful people in my past. You know, I have no ill will to any Hell's Angels out there. If anything, they only allowed me to be better at what I do today in the work that I do with children, it gives me the credibility, it allows me the opportunity to engage, especially for those kids that are in heavily. And as you know, the age category of youth identifying with drugs is dropping substantially.

So I have a question for you on that. Biker gangs, it's such a polarized subject, right? Whether it's Hells Angels or a different gang or whatever it is, everyone's got an opinion and they share those opinions loudly. It's almost similar to gun control in that way. Some people have positive opinions and some people have negative opinions, but whatever it is, the opinions are shared very loudly. We all hear about the polarized nature. So when I was younger, I saw two different sides to that coin or that subject. And even today, when I look around me, I can see both sides of it. And I remember, for example, when the movie Wild Hogs came out with Tim Allen and John Travolta.

Oh, yeah.

It's a comedy movie. And, you know, I'm not going to dive into how accurate or inaccurate some of the depictions or the scenes in the movie really is. But the point is, at the end of the movie, there was a scene that I really liked. Anyone who's seen the movie, you know exactly which one I'm referring to. And spoiler alert, by the way, anyone listening to this, just fast forward for 30 seconds. So I don't ruin the end of the movie for you, but at the end of the movie, there's essentially a group of bad people or bad biker game, or more accurately, there's a group of bad people within a biker gang who are basically just beating the heck out of, you know, John Travolta, Tim Allen and all the other actors. They're just getting their asses handed to them completely, right? And right when the fight is about to escalate to the next level and basically they're going to kill these guys, the leader of the biker group or the chapter or whatever it was, shows up on scene and he blows the whistle, right? He just like, stop. And so this leader of the biker group goes up to the group of bikers that are beaten up on John Travolta, and he says, you know, you guys have just lost sight of what a biker group is supposed to be. We're not here to hurt people. We're not here primarily to cause damage. No, we're here by a united passion about riding motorcycles, right? Biker gangs and groups. It's supposed to be at its roots, I think, about the love of the road, about the love of being on a motorcycle, and the freedom and the joy that it gives to feel that wind, you know, ripping across your face. And ultimately, these bikers, the biker guys that were beating up John Travolta, they're like, oh, okay, I guess, you know, you're right. And so they stop, you know, beating him up. And that's basically the end of the movie. Leaving on the tone and the note that biker groups are supposed to be about biking, supposed to be about motorcycles, nothing else. I think that there's a lot of opinions on a government level as well, about biker groups and are they good or are they bad? I think the Netherlands was the first country to ban biker groups altogether in their country. And who knows if that's going to be a trend for other countries as well. What's your opinion, Joe? Would you say that the way that the end of the Wild Hogs movie is generally accurate and that there's going to be bad groups of people within any organization, no matter what organization it is, and that we basically have to just filter those people out and do a best effort and just focus on the positive aspects and try and stick to the roots of what the original intention is in biking? Like, should we just focus on the fact that biker groups are supposed to be about the love of motorcycles and just let that be the subject of our focus? What do you think? What's your thoughts on this?

I believe there is truth to that. You're going to find bad and good in whatever walk of life, whether it's education, policing, ministry, biker gangs, policing. You're going to hear various different stories, right? And in today's landscape, from what I see down in the US and you know, here in British Columbia, you can almost say there needs to be a bit of structure or things. You're going to go into anarchy. And if everybody has the freedom to do what they want, when they want with no fear, we're all in trouble.

Right?

So I can understand certain, you know, countries and states are banning biker clubs and all that kind of stuff. But if you take away the structure that people know that there are higher ups, whether it is policing, whether it is education, whether it is gang landscape that creates some kind of structure where people understand that there's going to be a price to pay if you push the envelope, right? When I got into a fight, usually it was because there was a reason for it, you know, and at times maybe there wasn't a reason.

And now you have so many success stories. Tell me, Joe, about some of those success stories with the Yo Bro Yo Girl Initiative.

Well, a number of our kids, whether it's our kids going into policing, we were able to put 15 people on the police force. We put several people in firefighting. You know, people are becoming counselors, there's kids becoming engineers, there's kids that are becoming teachers, there's kids that are main priority, are connected to their school, out of the hands of law enforcement, being good people in the community, making sure that they are understanding of their parents. These are the skills that we teach kids, that we engage with them. And sometimes it's not about us talking, it needs to be about us listening to be there for them, to understand them. And sometimes they will not talk. You just have to shut your mouth and be able to hear what they are going through. We do not live in the space and place of the kids today. They are wired. They are wired to technology. They have direct access. You know, they can go online, there's social media, there's people posting. And with females it's about identities and awareness and getting involved with that behavior. And what are they trading off, what are they giving up? And they need to understand this. So we've created various different programs to engage boys, girls and we don't care about gender. Now we have kids that are in various different genders. There needs to be equality for all children. And our programs, yes, there is a program for girls only due to cultural reasons and religious reasons. So at times we have programs for girls only, we have programs for boys only, we have co ed programs. You know, we're very general, neutral, supporting kids if they identify as male or female. So our programs are very open, accepting and very equality based.

Okay, so here's a scenario and then a follow up question right after. Okay. When I was little, like 8, 10, 12 years old, I had a fascination with the marble anti hero called Ghost Rider, right? He's got this badass flames on his head, he's riding an awesome motorcycle. And I was just fascinated by this Marvel character. So when I was 15 and started to discover what it's like to make a good sum of my own money and find this freedom, I took that money and I bought a motorcycle. I was quite young and I had my own personal motorcycle because originally this fascination with Ghost Rider and the freedom and the feeling that comes from riding. So when I left home and got into my drug scene and got in trouble and I bumped into a biker group and obviously I'm not going to name them, at one point, this one guy I was talking to offered me a free motorcycle. And I don't understand what the terms were. What I mean to say is back then I didn't have any clarity on what he meant by a free motorcycle. What does that mean? Do I have to work for him? Do I have to not. How does this all come together? I don't know. All I know is that I was quite young, very excited about having a motorcycle and I was offered a free one, almost anything that I wanted. And the idea was to, you know, capture my attention. So ultimately I did not accept that motorcycle. I had A gut feel not to. And I followed that gut feel. I can't explain any more logically than that. I just didn't. And I always wonder, though, to this day, what would have happened if I accepted the free motorcycle? Would that have been a slippery slope and a starting point to go deep down that rabbit hole? So, Joe, my question for you is, imagine if I approached the Yo Bro, Yo Girl Youth initiative, and let's just say that I was 15 years old and you were talking to me.

Right.

Or I was talking with one of the counselors in your program. What would you have done with a kid like me? What should I expect as a kid coming into this program with the kind of background story I just gave you? What's the process that I would go through?

It would depend on where you're at, who you're engaged with, how the referral would come through, whether you self referred to the program, whether it's a school district referral, whether it's police referral. But basically, I would want to peel back the layers of the onion and find out. Find out A, what you're involved in. B, you know, as you alluded to, you were out on the street, you didn't have a home. You know, take a look at what home life looks like, get you connected to a safe and healthy role model, you know, sit down with you and have a conversation. Right. There's an evaluation process that we go through, and yes, there's paperwork and all that kind of stuff, but with me and you, it needs to be a conversation. I wouldn't pull out a pen and paper and start ticking the tick boxes. I sit you down and say, yo, bro, what's up, man? What are you doing? Where are you going? You know where this behavior is going to lead you. If you take a look at any gangster movie, what are the three outcomes? And basically two outcomes you see now, gangster movies is prison and death. Yep. One of the things that the movies never show you is the addiction piece. Those that fall to addiction, why it's not sexy. Watching somebody smoke crack or do heroin or pop Molly's or do fentanyl or car Fentanyl or acrophyll fentanyl or, you know, perks or oxy and then watch the person dwindle is not sexy. Putting the person in jail or in a coffin. Hit play, hit fast forward. Go to the end of any gangster movie. What are your outcomes? Does anybody go off to gangster? Nobody goes to Gangster island and says, hey, I'm gonna live the life free. And you know, Cash in my, you know, T4s and RRSPs and T1s and you know, down south. I'm not sure what your retirement packages look like, but basically I'm going to cash in my retirement fund. How often does that happen?

It never happens. I've never seen it.

Yeah, exactly, my friend.

One of the great parts about this podcast is that you don't have to listen to infomercials selling products that you're not interested in. Instead, you get to hear my voice for 60 seconds, talking about non profit organizations and charitable initiatives that have a positive, meaningful impact on the world, such as the Yobro Yo Girl Youth foundation group that Joe is running. You just check out the website YBYG ca. I went there just before recording this and I made a donation right now using my own money for real so that I could be the change that I wish to see in the world. The Yobro Yo Girl Youth Initiative is inside classrooms. They're there after school, during school breaks. There's eight different programs. They're helping kids. They nurture skills, attitudes and beliefs that help young people face life's challenges with confidence. I wish that I knew of this group when I was having my troubles as a teenager and I was in high school, this would have helped me a lot. And now I get a chance to pay it forward and help other people who might need the help as well. So. And you get that chance too. All you got to do is donate 5 bucks, 100 bucks, 50 bucks, thousand bucks, whatever you're comfortable with. Just go to YBYG CA. Do it now or don't and think about it later, or just share this episode with someone else who could, it makes a huge impact. And now back to the show. I have a theory that when a kid snaps, and I've written a book about my journey as well. And in there I talk about, in my opinion and my own observations, that when a kid snaps, there are three extremes that happen. And of course, like when a kid hits their breaking point, that breaking point is very unique to that individual kid. It's different for everyone. But generally, whenever that breaking point happens, then there's three general directions that the person ends up going. And one is harm to self, which we'll see in the extreme as suicide. And in the more minor cases, you'll see cuts or bruises or just self harm. In general, number two is harm to others. And my story took place around the same time as the tragedy at Columbine. So in the extreme, number two with harm to others, I'm talking about hurting other people, whether it's on a light scale, bullying and punches and kicks, or in the extreme, coming in with guns and shooting people. And the third direction that I think that kids can go when they snap is in the subject of avoidance, and that usually involves drugs. Now, for me personally, I didn't have self harm or harm of others in my body. That wasn't something in my blood or in my thought process ever. So I just naturally gravitated to avoidance and using substance to just ease my mind and help me find an escape from everything that I was unhappy about. Because, of course, back then, I didn't have access to a program like the Yo Bro Yo Girl initiative that wasn't available to me. So I just took matters into my own hands. So what do you think about my theory there, Joe, about the three directions that a kid can go when they snap? Do you think that that's relatively accurate, or do you have a different perspective on that?

No, you hit it pretty spot on. My wife is double masters in psychology and the word snapping, Usually there's indicators before the snap, and you named all three of them. So either harm to self, harm to others, or disengage. So when you see one of those three indicators, you have a problem with child. So a child doesn't go from being a straight A student to snapping.

Right.

It just doesn't happen. Usually there are indicators and benchmarks that, you know, schools and school districts and families and communities can see a child start to dwindle, and that's when the supports need to be provided to child. We are very fortunate, as you alluded to Safer Schools Together, race strategy and grip received money from the Ministry of Education and the Minister of Public Safety. So Minister Farnsworth and Minister Fleming, you know, got behind Safer Schools Together and provided funding to make sure that we create the protective factors in 16 cities throughout British Columbia to help support children that are showing indicators that are disengaged from schools, communities, and home life that are having multiple interactions with police, that are helping support prevention and early intervention and, you know, intervention programs that are critical for guys like you and I. We were both on the same page, right?

I think so, yeah.

So here we're pretty fortunate to have, you know, the Ministry of Education step in and the Minister of Public Safety through Safer Schools Together. And we, as a charitable organization, are very fortunate with some of our key donors that allow us autonomy with the kids, that allow us to use the funding as we see fit. So our funding sources come from, A, philanthropists, B, foundations, C, Ministry D, you know, granting cycles. C. The Ministry of Ed through Safer Schools. Together we have a wide variety of funders that just allow us to go out and do our work throughout greater Vancouver. We have over 1000 kids per week in our program where we provide food supports, mentorship. If a family's going hungry, we'll provide them with gift cards so that they can go out and get the groceries to help support the family. You know, we are there to support the family. We onboarded a clinician, we have a Brenda Calendino. We have the support of police forces, we have the support of school districts. So we are very fortunate to have a wide variety of key players that help support the organization. So they're not not stories like you and I. We are able to jump in early, as early as grade 6 and 7 and follow them throughout 8 through 12. And I'm not a one man band that is able to provide everything to all children. We have a staff of 25 people. A majority of our staff has have been through our programs. They become youth leaders, they become program assistants, they become program facilitators and they are doing phenomenal work. I am so proud of our team and what they're doing in the community.

Such a great impact, Joe and I really appreciate you taking the time to come on here and tell me and tell everyone listening here in your own words, all of these details. It's a success in and of itself to have that courage to tell your story. I'm going to pick up a copy of your book and have a read. And I hope that other people follow my lead and make a little donation just like I did earlier today. And I hope that anyone listening to this right now who knows someone who's showing those early signs of disengagement and withdrawal and verging towards what we're talking about, this snapping this breaking point. I hope that you would share this episode with people that maybe need to hear this right now and share the resources of the Yo Bro Yo Girl initiative to people that might need someone to talk to or need some external third party help to work through their own challenges. Let's help people get the help that they need. And if you yourself need some help and working through some of your challenges, then I hope that you find that courage and I encourage you to pick up the phone or go online and start talking to the experts that do want to help you find that courage and get the help that you need. Reach out. People do want to help. Remember, wherever you are, right here, right now, in your car, walking on the street, going to work. Wherever you are, remember that there is a rockin it story right around the corner for you. Your own rockin it story is just coming around the corner. You need to focus on it, keep your eye on the ball and every day reach out for help wherever you need it and for whatever subject is important for the moment. I'll talk to you guys next time on the next interview. Have an awesome day. Bye for now. And that's it. My friends, for this episode. We will see you next time. Please send me an email, say hello, give me some feedback, let me know what you think, give me some tips and suggestions. I'd love to hear from you. Also, please share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, doesn't matter. Just get it out there. I really appreciate it. And we'll see you next time on From Rock Bottom to Rockin it. Have a rockin it.