11: A Burn Survivor's Journey to Discover True Beauty // The Story of Kelly Falardeau

She said to me, they couldn't do better than that. I was so hurt. And I looked at her and I said, I happen to think I look pretty damn good.

Welcome to From Rock Bottom to Rockin It. I'm your host Eric Gilbert Williams and this is the podcast where we explore personal stories of people who hit absolute rock bottom, then got back up, wiped off the dust, kicked failure to the curb, and now they're rocking it like you'd never believe if you didn't hear it. Live right here, we cover subjects in business, sports and life in general. If you like this podcast, please share it. These interviews are intended to inspire, to motivate, to give hope and vision. So please share this episode with someone who needs it. Use your Instagram account, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn. Hand signals, trained pigeon sent smoke signals up in the air. Use Morse code, whatever you like. Just share the love and share this episode. Also, email me anytime. Podcastricilbertwilliams.com Send me questions you would like to have asked of future guests and I will incorporate them. Or just send me some suggestions on how to run a better podcast. Or just say hello, I'd love to hear from you. That's podcastericgilbertwilliams.com I know you're going to love today's interview, so let's get started here. With us today on From Rock Bottom, the rockin it is Kelly Filardo. Kelly is a burn survivor. At the age of two, she was burned on 75% of her body everywhere. She had to find her way to go from near death to success. From the ugly scarfaced girl to TEDx stage. Twice a year she's the Fierce Woman of the Year, an international best selling author five times. She's the recipient of the Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee Medal and a YWCA Woman of Distinction. Thank you for being here Kelly. You know my associate who helps me find guests for the show. She actually saw you live in Alberta doing one of your talks and so she said to me, we got to have Kelly on the show. We got to hear this story. We need to. It's such a relevant subject and her perspective was powerful. So I'm really glad that you said yes and really happy that you're here. Thank you for that. You've had to live with this severe burns for so long and to find your inner beauty. Can you please tell me and tell everyone listening here what the heck happened and what was this journey like?

Well, getting burnt as a two year old, I don't remember that part of my Story. We lived on a farm and my cousins were throwing shingles on the fire, and they were 9 and 11 at the time. And so this spark came out and landed on my dress. And I was 2. And so I exploded and ended up with burns to pretty much, you know, well, 75% of my body. So as a two year old back in 1968 and having something like that happen, I definitely don't remember any of that. But I don't start remembering my life until I was about five years old. And then that's when I start remembering my surgeries and the operations that I had and, you know, being teased and bullied and people ignoring me and not wanting to have anything to do with me. And I remember all of that part of it. And I ended up in the hospital every two years until I was about 20 years old. I would have to go back into the hospital for a month of my summer holiday for more reconstructive surgery so that I would have better mobility, so I would look better and possibly look more beautiful. So that part of my life was quite challenging, for sure. I never thought I'd ever get married.

What do you mean that you exploded on Farley? What was this dress made of?

It was rayon.

Now, being 2 years old, I'm trying to imagine and visualize what this scene would look like. I can understand that memory's foggy there because you're so young and I mean, obviously you're too young to understand what's going on or what to do, which I think would naturally lead to a situation where there's a delay period between when the fire erupts and you're starting to get burned and when people around you can properly respond and try to put it out. Is that kind of what happened? Am I generally in the right direction there?

Well, I actually don't even remember the actual accident. So my cousins, I mean, they knew what to do. They grabbed a bucket of water and, you know, went through the water on me. So they knew that part, what to do. But for some reason, somehow I lost the memory of what happened to me.

And that could be just the brain protecting itself from traumatic experiences.

Yeah, absolutely. That's what I think it is.

The brain is such a fascinating thing. The ability that it has to break through a barrier and do what you've done and embrace the beauty of the world. And also on the flip side, it has this incredible power to just block out certain events that are maybe too traumatic or harming. And it just. That's it. It just blocks those Memories completely out. And I'm assuming that you've tried to remember or draw back some of those memories, but between the brain having the ability to block out events in our memories and also you just being so young, there's probably nothing more to recollect or to recall. Is that pretty much right?

Yeah, it was blacked out. I did have a conversation with my cousin when I was about 18 because I was going through a period of my life where I wanted to know why did I live? Because being BURNT As a 2 year old, you know, back in the 60s and most of my body, you know, like, I shouldn't have lived. And it's interesting because just a year ago I actually reconnected with my doctor who saved my life, and with my plastic surgeon for all of those years. Yeah. And he's 90 years old now and he had tears in his eyes. I had tears in my eyes meeting him. And he ended up telling me a bunch of stories that happened to me in the operating room. And even he was quite surprised that I was actually alive because I shouldn't.

Have lived alive and thriving on top of that. I mean, doing amazing.

Yeah, exactly. And he had no idea when I reconnected with him a year ago that I was a speaker and that I was an author and that I was using my story to benefit other people. And so I think that gave him the sense that he did the right thing and that he was able to make a difference in my life and he was the one that kept me alive all those years. And when I was 2, I had almost died, and then. And in fact, they had to do a code on me, so I had technically died, but they were able to bring me back to life. And then he was telling us about when I was about 8 or 9 or 10 in the operating room, and they almost lost me there too. So. Yeah. So it's kind of fascinating to hear about all these stories and yet I knew nothing about what was really going on in the operating room. Right.

I didn't know that part. So you're saying your heart stopped, but you weren't pronounced as dead?

Yeah, when I was 2. I don't know exactly why. I don't know if it was just my heart. If.

Okay.

Or what it was. I'm not exactly positive. All I know is that I was actually, when I was 18, I was hypnotized to go back to that day because I wanted to know why I lived.

Right. And what did they find? What happened?

Yeah. And so when I was hypnotized they took me back to the actual accident, but. And they also took me back to the day that I died in the operating room. And I was able to have a little conversation with my God talking about why I should live or why I didn't want to live. And so, you know, I was up above my body looking down at all the doctors and nurses working on me and doing everything they could to save my life. So, yeah, it's kind of fascinating stuff.

Why did you choose to live? I mean, it's such a simple and abstract question, but it's so powerful. Why did you choose to live?

Well, he said to me I was too young to die and that I had a purpose and I didn't know what that purpose was going to be at the time. And. But I chose to live because of my grandpa and my sister. And I don't know why specifically my sister. My grandpa did end up helping him. You know, he was like the man that was the closest to me in my life. And so eventually we just had an amazing bond, him and I. And in fact, when he passed away, I actually felt like I lost my sense of purpose because I didn't have him anymore. To be that rock for me.

Right. And then what's it going to be? Moving forward. Yeah.

Yeah. So we don't always know. Yeah.

And people out there, this general subject of teen social pressure, of mental health. Kids can be so mean. And I struggled in my own way with mental health. There was a lot more to my story than just that. But ultimately I snapped when I was 16 and left home and left school in order to figure out my shit. Right. To figure out who I am and get through some of these challenges. And there's hundreds of thousands of other kids out there right now experiencing their own form of social pressure and mental health challenges everywhere. And a lot of them are just overwhelmed. You know, suicides are increasing. It's such a tragic number to see climbing like that. And then we see other programs coming up like the Bell Let's Talk Initiative to try and curb these unnecessary outcomes. And then here you are. Kelly, how do you make this comparison? Let's just imagine for a second that I'm a 14 year old boy or girl either way. And I look into the mirror and all I see in here are the mean images and words of the bullies and the mean people at school. And I start to feel down on myself and there may or may not even be anything wrong at all. Maybe I wasn't burned or maybe I don't have anything different about me whatsoever. Maybe I was just the victim of an attack, which happens frequently as well. Either way, as kids we would internalize these opinions and these attacks from these bullies and have it reflect on ourselves. It would become a part of our self image. And sometimes kids never get out of that trap, that negative downward cycle. And then there's you on the other hand, Kelly, where you've overcome some dramatic and extreme challenges when you were a kid. And they're very visible, they're right there on your face, literally. And you got through this, right? How did you break through these challenges? Whereas some other people end up getting stuck because you didn't go down the path of self harm or harming other people or avoidance and drugs, you didn't do that. You just worked through it somehow and made it through on the other side beautifully. How did you do that?

I can't say that I didn't have suicidal thoughts. I did have those thoughts about wanting to end my life, but for some reason I just couldn't do it. I don't know why, I don't know what stopped me. All I know is that there was times when I thought, why do I want to live? And you know, even as an adult, this was probably six, seven years ago. And I went through another phase where I actually had my iPad in my lap and I was searching how to end my life. And I had three non negotiables. One was that my kids couldn't be the one to find me, okay, not want my kid to be able to find me because I didn't want them to blame themselves if I ended my life. The second one was it had to be painless. I didn't want to feel any pain. I just wanted it to be over. And the third one was that it had to be final. I didn't want to do it and then end up like. I know there's some burn survivors out there who have actually tried to end their life by setting themselves on fire, pouring gasoline on themselves and setting themselves on fire. And then they live. And now they're also facing, you know, because a lot of them have mental health issues. So that's why they're ending their life. And now on top of that, they now have physical issues with their burn. Those were my three non negotiable. And what happened was when I was searching, I couldn't find anything. I couldn't find a way to do it and have those three non negotiables met and somehow I even have like my perseverant toolkit where what I have is different things that I do to try and shift me out of feeling, you know, whether I'm having suicidal thoughts or just, you know, feeling like I'm really down or just not having a good day. And there's certain things that I will do, and one of them is music. I know that there are certain songs that I can play that when I play those songs, they physically shift my mindset. There are certain memories I have that I can think about those memories, and they will, you know, shift me out of being depressed or being upset or certain speakers. I can go on YouTube and there's certain motivational speakers that if I listen to them, you know, again, they shift me out of my mindset. And that's the big thing, is what are we doing to keep our minds healthy so that we're not always thinking about those negative thoughts that are harming us? And that's the big issue, is that a lot of people don't want to stop thinking about those bad things.

Okay, was there a moment where you experienced in your life, you're like, okay, I'm through this now. I've overcome this challenge. Was there a moment that you felt like these burns are a part of who I am? And that's beautiful because who I am is beautiful, and everything about me is good. Did you have a clarity, like a moment of clarity where you just knew that you had now overcome the pressure and the downside, the negativity, everything that people were saying, and you got over this difference? Was there a clear moment that you remember where you knew that you were now on the healthy track, both mentally and emotionally, and that this was just a part of both your past and your present? Right. This is part of the whole you and that. That's good. Or did it just happen naturally over time without any clear trigger moment?

There is a moment, and I've had multiple moments, but one of the strongest one was when I went to a garage sale. And this probably happened about, I don't know, 10 or 15 years ago. And I was still married at the time. And so me and my husband would go to this garage sale, and this older lady looks at me and it's summertime, so I'm probably wearing shorts and a T shirt, so my scars are showing. And she says to me, they couldn't do better than that.

Ooh, wow. How did you respond to that one exactly?

And I was shocked. And I was like, oh, my God, for real? You know, I mean, this woman doesn't even know about me getting burnt as a 2 year old. She doesn't know that I probably had 40 or 50 surgeries. She doesn't know everything I've gone through to try and get rid of all these scars and to try and feel beautiful. And I was so hurt. And I looked at her and I said, I happen to think I look pretty damn good. And I walked out.

That's all there is.

And I thought, you know, and my husband, he knew I was upset and he's a cow. She didn't mean it that way. And I said, she meant it how she said it. And I know what she meant. She meant, why couldn't they do some sort of magic surgery on you, take your scars away and then you wouldn't have to deal with being stared at. And I get it. I mean, I was looking for that. I wanted that. So then I thought, why am I letting a complete stranger take my power away? Not once have my kids or my family or my friends ever said to me, mom or Cal, I would love you more if you were scarlet.

Right?

And that was when my moment was, when I thought, that's it. I am not gonna let some stranger make me feel ugly ever again.

From rock bottom to rockin it podcast we survive as you share the love. Please share this episode right now. Just take a minute and click the send button. Share on your social media, your Facebook, your Twitter, your Instagram, your. Just share the love. Share this with someone who needs to hear this. You can use smoke signals, Morse code, I don't really care. Just spread the word, please. It makes the world of a difference to me. It's my ask to you. It doesn't cost you anything to do that. And it means the world to not only our guests on the show as well, but to everyone who needs to hear the message and can finally hear it because you shared it with them. Remember to also check out Kelly's website. She has a number of books for sale and you can pick them up. They're all under 20 bucks. Not a big ask. You can buy them on Amazon as well.

You can.

You can check her out@kellyfilardo.com there's also a link on the show notes to this episode. On my website, Kelly helps people take the tea out of can't. Because we can. Because you can. Whatever you're trying to overcome right now, you can get through this. Kelly's got a whole bunch of books. One of them is called A Thousand Tips. Another one's called Self Esteem. Doesn't come in a Bottle. There's no risk, no Rewards. There's seven ways to embrace the real you. I encourage you to just check it out, have a look. And now back to the show. Oh, I love it. And that's so powerful. I mean, sometimes I forget just how powerful a word can be or what the impact can be of a single word. And maybe, maybe this lady was trying to sympathize in her own distorted way. And obviously it had a complete opposite effect. When we think back to when we're little and people are either attacking us on purpose or, or sometimes people just don't realize the impact, whether positive or negative, that their words can have. And sometimes they don't realize the power that they have in their own hands to break a person down simply by saying certain words. It's not something that I think naturally a kid really understands just how impactful their words and their opinion can be, but it is really that impactful. I remember when I was listening to one of your TED talks, you, you were referencing the Disney movie Snow White, I think it was, where the evil witch looks into the mirror and the mirror is talking to her. Right. And she's having conversations with the mirror.

Right.

And you refer to that a lot in your talks.

Well, that was my first TEDx talk. And when I was trying to think about when do we realize that the mirror talks? And so what I did is I went onto Facebook and I said, at what age did you watch Snow White? That was the question. And people were telling me that they had watched Snow White as young as 4 years old. And so when you think if you watch Snow White and you see the evil queen talking into the mirror and the face talks back, you learn at age 4 that the mirror talks to you. And so that voice that you hear in your head, although you don't see the picture of the face coming out of the mirror, you still hear the voice I and the voice is your head. It's your ego, it's your thoughts. And so kids are learning at 3, 4, 5 years old that the mere talks.

Would you say that a self criticism is more impactful than one coming from someone else? Let's just say, for example, that I think I'm too short. And it's a ridiculous example because I'm actually pretty tall. Let's just say that I believed whether or not it was true that I was too short. Is that more impactful than, let's say I'm on a date and a girl says, oh, I can't date you because you're too short. Is it more impactful to Hear those words coming from someone else's mouth? Or is it maybe more impactful than to wake up and for me to say it to myself? I wake up and I look in the mirror and I say, oh, Eric, you're just too short. Which has the bigger effect, do you think?

I don't know which has more impact. But what happens is when you say that I'm too short, and then you have this other woman that says you're too short all of a sudden. Yep, you're right. See, I'm too short. Someone else said it, too.

And if someone else said it, then it must be true. Obviously not, but. Right.

And then it must be true because they said it. And so what it does is it gives you that confirmation that your ego is right.

Yeah. And I wrote about this specific subject. That's why I wanted to ask for your opinion. When everyone says a thing to a child who has a very limited amount of perceptual awareness and capacity to digest and form opinions, when kids come around and say something about me that may or may not be true, it doesn't matter if it's true or not. The fact that a few people said it, it makes it true in my mind. And when something comes from parents, it's even more amplified, because now we're talking about authority figures. You know, principal or a schoolteacher or someone else's parent, whatever it is. These words become rules, they become axioms. They become reality inside a younger mind that's undeveloped. And to a degree, even on an adult mind that is developed, we still have weaknesses to the. The power of other people's opinions and other people's words. It takes a lot of courage to stand up and form your own opinion and say, no, this is what I think of myself, and this is absolutely how I am. And you guys are wrong. It takes a lot of courage to say to a group of people or even just one person sometimes, no, you're wrong. I'm not like that. What you're saying is hurtful. It's not accurate.

Absolutely.

It takes a lifetime sometimes to find that courage and to find that voice to speak up. So, Kelly, are you saying that when you had this conversation with that lady, that the. This was the moment where you found your voice and that you harnessed your own opinions to project yourself into the world in your own view? That's more accurate, or did you have that voice already growing inside you already?

No, I had those thoughts, but then I took it one step further, okay? And so what I did for the next step Was that okay? You know how it is. A lot of times people will tell you, just go in the mirror and say, I am beautiful or I am handsome. And if you keep saying it enough, eventually you'll believe it, right? Have you heard about that?

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. So that's what I was told. Okay, Kelly, just go in the mirror and keep telling yourself how beautiful you are, and eventually you'll believe it. Every time I would say, I am beautiful, my mirror, or my ego, whatever you want to call it, would say to me, no, you're not. You're not flawless. There are no beautiful women out there that have scars on their body. You are absolutely not beautiful. And so that's what I believe, because that's what my mirror told me. That's what my ego told me. The media tells me that everybody tells you, you know, you have to be flawless in order to be beautiful. So one day I said, that's it. I am done feeling like the ugly girl. And so I went in the mirror. I made sure nobody was home. I closed the bathroom door. Even though nobody was home, I still closed the door. And I looked in the mirror this time, and instead of saying, I am beautiful this time, I said, I love my big, beautiful green eyes. And that voice didn't say anything, because it's true. I believe it. And then I looked at my nose, and I turned to the side, and I looked at my nose, and I said, oh, my God, I love my cute little nose. And again, my ego didn't say anything, because that's true. I believe it. And then I looked at my ear, and my ear is quite deformed, so it's. It doesn't look like a normal ear. And I looked at my ear, and I said, oh, my God, I love my cute little ear. It makes me special, make me different, and make me unique. Looked one more time, and this time I had my favorite jeans on. And I turned around, I looked at my butt, and I said, you know what? I happen to love my cute little hot ass. And the next time I went in the mirror, I didn't see everything that I hated about me. I started to see all the things I loved about me. And my scars blended in, and I didn't see the scars anymore. And that was the thing. What bothered me was that people would say to me, carol, after five minutes of talking to you, I don't see your scars anymore. And I'd be like, well, why not? The scars are still there. They're physically still there. Why don't you see them? I would say to people, because you're seeing my eyes, you're seeing my energy, you're seeing my spirit, you're seeing my laugh. Like, you're not seeing what's bad about me. And that's what I always try to get across to teenagers and women that I speak to. People are not seen your imperfection. They're seeing all the wonderful things about you. But we are so programmed that the people are talking negative about us, and that's what we want to believe. We don't want to believe that people are thinking good thoughts about us. We want to believe that they're thinking the bad things.

So we're talking about baby steps. Here is how I'm interpreting this, where, okay, you're looking at the mirror. You're telling the mirror that you're beautiful. It's not giving the answer that you want.

And.

And this is this analogy we hear about that. How do you eat an elephant? Well, one bite at a time. And my apologies to any vegans or animal rights activists out there that don't like that example, but you get my point. Be forgiving. It's just to illustrate the example of how do you do anything that's really, really big? Well, you start with one little baby step. And what I'm hearing from you, Kelly, you're creating this narrative, okay, well, I'm beautiful isn't getting the exact response and outcome that I want. Well, okay, what's the next little baby step I can take to get there? And I'm just trying to imagine myself in your shoes, sitting, standing there, trying to figure this out. And you found something. You love your eyes. And that's a little thing that you can focus on that's unarguable. It's much easier for the brain and the emotional capacity here to digest and work with this one little thing and move forward than it is to digest the whole entirety of this subject all in one sitting.

Absolutely.

So people listening to this right now, looking for a place to start. You know, I was a part of this mastermind group a long time ago, and one of the people in the group approached me and said, man, I've been doing my affirmations every day. Every time I wake up, every time I go to bed, day after day, month after month, I keep doing my affirmations, and it's not working, and it's not working. And they kept repeating that over and over. And there was two things there that really stood out to me. The first was they kept repeating, it's not working. It's not working. Clearly they had embodied this mindset that, no, it's not working. It's not going to work. It was a powerful emotion they were emitting that, in my opinion, starts to predetermine what the outcome is going to be. That mindset will undo any momentum that's established. Yeah, that's the first thing. Why don't we focus on one step at a time? Why are we trying to manifest and do affirmations about this big, giant dream all in one shot? Focusing on little, seemingly insignificant details one at a time and doing that really well starts to create a new narrative. And that's the key word that I like here is this. We're creating a new narrative for how the brain is interpreting what's around us. It's a new narrative for how the emotions are interpreting how we're feeling.

Right.

It's a new narrative for what progress looks like and how well we're actually doing one little brushstroke at a time. We start to paint a new image. We start to create a new portrait of what our life looks like. Right. But it's just one little brushstroke at a time. Now, let's say that I am a short person, and maybe that's my biggest issue at the moment. And so, okay, well, what do I do? Do I get surgery to extend my height? Do I stand on stilts and walk around on. On poles all the rest of my days? Or do I find a way to just enjoy life as it is right now? There's a lot of different ways to get from point A, where we are right now, to point B, where we would like to be. And I mean, we all have our own individual path and journey to go through to bridge that gap. From our rock bottom moments to our rock nut stories. It's unique for each of us. Definitely no magic bullets there. So, Kelly, I love that you found your way, you found your path to rocket out of this rock bottom moment. And so tell me, in your mind, did you know what you were doing at that time? Did you know that you were conscientiously choosing these baby steps because that was the right thing to do, or was that just happening automatically and you're just realizing it now?

In hindsight, I had no clue what.

Led you to do it. Was it like intuition or how did that all happen?

No, what happened is I actually read a blog post by Danielle Laporte, and in that blog post, she talked about giving herself permission. And so she wrote about 30 different things that she was giving herself permission to do. And one of them was give herself permission to love herself. And that was when I said, okay, I'm gonna have permission to love myself. A lot of people will teach you that if you're gonna love yourself, you have to love all of yourself. And if you don't love all of yourself, you can't love none of yourself. And so I was of the belief that, well, I don't love the scars on my body. I don't love the fact that my body is disfigured. So that means I can't love me because I don't love my scars. And so I had to say, that doesn't work for me. And that's the problem is that a lot of people think we have to believe what some of the gurus say or do. And I thought, okay, that doesn't work for me. I'm going to learn to love my little parts. And at least if I can start loving my little part, then maybe I could start loving me and start loving myself. And that was how I had to do it. So when people say to me, you have to love all of you or you can't love none of you, if it's an all or a none situation, then I chose to be the nun. And so I said, okay, if I'm not going to be able to love myself because I don't love all of me, what can I love? And so that was when I said, I'm not going to listen to them, I'm going to listen to me and I'm just going to start by loving my little part. And if I keep loving all my little part, then maybe I can start loving me and seeing that my scars aren't such a bad thing.

Right in the middle there, there's something that's striking me. Something happened in your mind that led you down this path of self discovery and believing in yourself. There's a point there where either you shut off the world or you took back your power or you, you put them in a box. There's a point here where you evolved and changed your own perspective to be one of coming from letting other people determine how you feel about yourself and letting other people's opinions and perspectives dictate your own into one of no, I'm taking control. This is my life. My interpretations are my own. And you took back that control and did that shift. Almost like a phoenix rising up from the ashes. You know, these negative sensory inputs from society break a person down. And then when we come back out of those ashes, we're reborn With a new perspective, a new attitude, and new lenses on how to experience life.

Absolutely.

And I think if I were to guess that this was happening or had already happened before you met that lady who made the comment. Is that right?

Yeah. And I mean, it's always baby steps, you know, and like, as you grow, then you get deeper and deeper and, and learn even more about yourself and how to love yourself. And, you know, and to me too, it's not just a one time switch. It's okay. So, you know, some days I might look in the mirror and think, oh my God, really? Like, what is wrong with me? And then like today I did my hair and I looked in the mirror and I thought, oh my God, you know, I'm looking pretty cute today. And you know, I had a, I had a breakfast with a guy that maybe I'll be dating him, I don't know. And he even complimented me on my.

Hair, if he's lucky.

You know, and we had breakfast today and it was awesome, right? And people were complimenting me on my hair and stuff. And I thought, okay, this is interesting, you know, because I don't always do my hair this way. So. But you know, I've learned to offer the compliment. And I think that's also another baby step that I took is that, you know, I would always think negative things about myself. And I thought, okay, what if I start thinking positive things about other people and realize that because. So here's another little story of something that would happen to me. So one day, I think I was about 20 years old or something like that, and I went out with my best friend Paul, and I asked Paul to walk me back to my car because it was late at night, we were at the bar and I wanted to feel safe. So Paul, of course, said yes. And so as we're walking, we notice a guy coming towards us and the guy staring at me. And I'm thinking, and I said to Paul, you know, I am so sick and tired of people staring at me. I'm done. I'm really sick of it. And he said, kel, he's staring at you because you're so darn cute. And I was like, oh, Paul, right? You know, like, I'm like, yeah, right, you're just making stuff up. And he's like, no, Kelly, seriously. And so I got thinking about that and I thought, well, why is it that whenever I look at people and, you know, maybe they're overweight or something, I don't always say to myself, oh my God, are they ever ugly? Like, I say, oh, my God, yes, they have a weight problem, but they're still beautiful. And so I had to put that back into my life and say to myself, okay, why am I assuming that every time somebody looks at me, I. I'm assuming that they think I'm ugly. Why can't they be thinking that I'm cute like Paul said? Right. And so it's very interesting because when I speak to teenagers and different. In fact, I just spoke to a couple schools last week for Thursday, and I actually got them doing an exercise. And I had one kid coming up, and I would have him say, okay, what's your thoughts right now? What are you thinking? Write it down. So he wrote it down. And then I would ask, like, 10 different kids, what do you think he's thinking? And they'd say something. What do you think he's thinking? And ultimately, they couldn't guess what he was thinking.

Okay.

And the message is, we make assumptions about what people are thinking, and they're wrong. So let's quit beating ourselves up. Let's quit thinking that everybody's thinking negative things about us. People could be thinking great things about us.

Yeah. So people listening to this right now who are struggling with their own inner criticism or something that's going on with their life, and you're getting this negative feedback from the mirror to people that are listening to this right now, Kelly, what would you suggest to them? What would you say to even that teenager that you did that experiment with right now? If they were in front of you right now, what would you say to them who are struggling right now, today?

Well, I would tell them, do exactly what I did. Go in the mirror, pick up five things you love about you. And if you can't come up with five, keep doing it until you do. And if you can come up with five, come up with even more. And I. Even the student that I talked to, I said, okay, and I want you to write them down on your phone. And then that way, when you are feeling like you're really crappy and you're having a bad day, go look on those five things you love about you.

And when I listened to your TED Talk, Kelly, I remember you sang on stage that you had decided not to get a prosthetic ear.

Yeah, I did.

And you decided to love yourself.

That's right.

Yeah. And you made a conscious decision at that time to embrace who you are and let yourself be authentic in every way. What was it like to just decline that? Did people encourage you to get the prosthetic Ear. Like, was there a clash of will where they're like, get the ear. And you're like, no. And they're like, well, you have to, because otherwise people are going to point at you and you're like, no, I don't care, because I think I'm beautiful. Like, was there this dialogue that you had to go through? What happened when you looked them in the eye and said you embrace everything about you?

It was interesting because I had to think about why I was doing it. Okay, now that's the big question. Like, a lot of people will go, and they will get, you know, a boob job, or they'll go, and they'll, you know, get Botox, or they'll go and make some sort of physical training. And. And a lot of times the reason they're doing it is because they're doing it for somebody else. They're not doing it for themselves. They're doing it so that somebody else looking at them can feel like they're. They think that somebody else looking at them is going to make them feel beautiful. And so I ask myself the question, why am I doing this? Am I doing this so that I feel more beautiful, or am I doing this because it's going to make me hear better? Because ultimately, that's the big reason I should get a prosthetic ear. As if it's going to help me hear better because I am more than half deaf. It wasn't going to help me hear better. And I thought, so why am I doing this? Just so that somebody looking at me can make. Can feel more comfortable with me. Like, is this going to make me feel beautiful? And I thought, no, I can't even see my ear, so how can this make me feel beautiful? I can't even see it.

That's a good point when you put it that way, right?

Like, I mean, I don't see my ear, so why am I doing this? And, you know, and even another example of that is I'm missing a nipple. So. And my other nipple is just a little partial nipple, so, you know, it's pretty tiny. So I thought about actually getting a new nipple mitt. And I thought, okay, this would be interesting. How does this work? And I even did a bunch of research on it to find out how the plastic surgeons do it. And, you know, when there's a certain procedure that they do, and then you'd get it tattooed and everything. And I actually even went to the doctor and said, okay, what is. What's this about with, you know, how is it gonna work? And, and he told me and I said, well, what about this other nipple that I have? And he goes, well, we would just cut that off. And then I said, oh, so I'm gonna have two crazy looking nipples. And I thought, okay. Again, I asked my question myself. The question, why am I doing this? Is it so that I feel more beautiful or is it so that somebody looking at me is going to feel more comfortable with me? And ultimately it wasn't going to make me feel beautiful. So I thought, why am I doing this?

And now you have nine and a half million views, if I remember correctly, on Goldcast. And I'd like to ask you about that in a moment as soon as we come back from this short break. Thank you so much for sharing this show and spreading the love. Every time you click that share button or put it on your social media, it makes a big difference to those who listen to it, to the guests that I have on here as well, and to me personally, this is a passion project. And so all of your help, sending me feedback, sending me an email, clicking that contact me button on my website, all of that is amazing and it really touches my heart because when I was little and struggled, I dropped out of school, I got into drugs and violence. It was very difficult and I hit rock bottom. My own rock bottom in that context was when I was around 17 years old and I thought I was going to jail for a long time and didn't know what was going to happen. And I got out because people reached out to me and helped me. People picked me back up and gave me motivation to move forward, just like you're hearing in these interviews. So this really is a passion project for me and I'd love it if you checked out my book as well. I tell my whole story on there. You can find it on my website, ericgilbertwilliams.com just click on my book. I would love for you to download a free copy of the intro and prologue. It's there right now anytime. There's an audio version as well. And now we're going to go back to the interview. Talk to you guys soon. So we're back now here on from Rock Bottom, the Rockin it with Kelly and Kelly. Tell me about being on goldcast and having 9.5 million views, knowing that you've now been in front of nine and a half million people or maybe five million because I'm sure some people watch it twice and listeners on this show might watch it twice as well, I guess. But regardless, what does this mean to you to be out there like this and to know that people are listening.

It was an incredible, incredible feeling. So how this happened was that for some reason, like, I love the girl cast videos. I've always been very inspired by them. And I said to myself one day, I want to have a girl cast video. Now I didn't, you know, didn't know if my story would be good enough. And you know, especially at that time because they were always doing, you know, a list. People, right, like that are really well known. And I thought, well, I'm not very well known, so why would they even want to do a story on me? Like, I don't know.

Okay.

But anyways, a friend of mine, they did a story on her and I reached out to her, said, oh my God, you've got a girl cast video. That's incredible. And she goes, yeah. And I said, well, that's kind of on my bucket list. I would love that. And she said, okay, well, here, I'll give you the guy's name. And she introduced me to him. And so what they did is they took the speech of my documentary because I, in my documentary about my life story, still beautiful, we did a speech. So I did a speech in front of 3,000 teenagers and it was 10 minute long speech. So I gave them the original video footage of that speech and then they asked me for some pictures and then they create the story that they wanted to showcase. And so they were the ones that did the whole mirror thing and the whole story of the white dress and how I never thought I'd ever get married when I was a kid. And so when I graduated from high school, my grandma said, I'll make you a dress and what color would you like? And I said, white. Now, we lived on a farm and so my grandma said, well, you can't have a white dress. Like, we don't wear white on the farm. How about pink or blue? And I was like, no, I want white. What? My grandma didn't know. In fact, nobody knew. I only revealed this a couple years ago when we were doing a documentary. The reason I wanted to wear a white dress is because I thought that would be the only time I'd get to wear anything that looked like a wedding dress.

Wow. And you knew this in your head?

Yeah, yeah. And I thought, well, I'm never going to get married, so this is my only chance to wear something that looked like a wedding dress. And so I thought, I want a white dress. And so Goldcast took that story and they created the whole video around that story and then me doing my speech to the teenagers and talking about how the mirror doesn't talk to us. And so they just did a beautiful job with it. And so it was really fascinating when it came out because my daughter and I were on Facebook and she was, you know, in another part of the world. And her and I are watching, you know, all the likes and the views go up and we had a million views in like six hours.

Oh, wow.

And it was just incredible, you know, like, it was just going up and up and up and up. And my daughter and I were like, mom. She's going, mom.

I don't know.

I can't believe that. This is like, crazy. We were watching the comments and what people were saying, and I even got a speaking gig out of it. And so it was pretty cool.

There's so many people out there who go around living life. I know I was one of them at a certain point. My story's not worth sharing. Who am I? One of my biggest challenges when I was little was with this word, worthless. I always had this feeling that I was a nobody. I'd always get picked on and do bad at school and never really had any friends, and I was awkward. And then to finally tip over the edge like you did and to see that, no, actually I'm a pretty good person and I'm not worthless at all. In fact, what a ridiculous thought. And with you, to go from your experiences as a child to seeing now nine and a half million people really paying attention to what you're saying, I'd imagine that this would be an absolutely transformational experience going on in your mind. Just like when we were talking earlier about how people around us might say a mean thing that might resonate with what's in our head. And then all of a sudden it becomes true. When nine and a half million people all say something different when they introduce a new narrative, then they say, this is actually really life changing. And I love this. It also has a opposite effect, and this time a positive one. How do you differentiate? If I'm going to try and block out negative words from other people, am I also blocking out accidentally the positive words from other people?

Absolutely. Because a lot of times we don't want to believe it.

Right. And so you're listening to this and you're watching this, and then you decided to believe it. When did you start to really believe and internalize that you're actually an amazing person and then you got over that critical inner voice.

That video was one of my turning points. So it was a point where I thought, oh, my gosh, like, this is me. This is a real story. I do do things that other people don't do. And that was a hard thing for me to accept because I always thought, well, people do what I do, right? Like, if people want their dreams or their goals, they just do it. Like, why wouldn't you? And I don't understand people not wanting to follow their dreams or not wanting to accomplish what they want in life. So I don't understand that, because to me, that's what we're here for. The universe, or God or Allah or Buddha or whoever you want to call them, doesn't want us to suffer, but we do. So we are the ones who are putting those nasty thoughts in our head. And, you know, we have the choice to believe what people say or don't say. Just like I had the choice to, you know, when the guy said to me this morning, oh, my God, you know, your hair is so beautiful. I mean, I could have easily just said, yeah, no, it's not beautiful. It's. You're just making shit up. Or I could just say thank you, which is what I did.

And isn't that powerful, that word, thank you, to just accept a compliment? You know, when I ran away from home and got into this drug house, it was difficult for me at the time as a teenager, and I had to figure out my way through it and obviously come through on the other side. And I got into business really early. I've always been an entrepreneur and people would be like, eric, you're doing so great. You're an amazing kid. You're doing some cool stuff. I would always say to myself inside my own head, oh, whatever. They're just being nice. They're being polite. It's definitely not true. It can't be true because I'm not anyone. Who am I anyways, right? And there was this absolutely destructive inner voice that I had to get through and that I think a lot of people have to get through as well.

Well, absolutely, yeah.

And this podcast, it's about life, it's about business, it's about sports, it's about politics sometimes. And people are listening to their own self doubt and their own inner criticism. Literally. We're building a prison around us, like a mental prison in our minds with our own negative words and thoughts. And it doesn't have to be that way. There are people out there, like you had Paul, to help you break down those bars and escape that prison. How important is it in your perspective, Kelly, to surround yourself with people like.

Paul, oh, it's incredibly important, you know, especially like, you and I, who are entrepreneurs who have, like, you know, I can tell you're like a humble guy, just like me. Well, I'm a girl. But.

You mean there's no special announcement here? There's no big reveal today and I don't get to find out about it first? Here on from rock bottom to rocking it.

No, I'm still on this team. But we are taught that we're not supposed to brag about ourselves. And so, you know, I was taught by my grandma about that. Do not brag about yourself. Because if you brag about yourself, who are you to think you're all that and more? And if you brag, you're gonna get knocked down. So don't brag. And so, you know, even every time I get up on stage and I speak and I share that, I'm like, I don't want to brag. I'm not. I. You know, and I've got all these credentials, and so sometimes it's very difficult for me to get on stage because they'll say all these incredible things about me and I'm like, oh, my God, who is that trick? Because I don't know her. And I don't want people to think that I'm this messiah or something like that. That's not at all what my intentions are. And so I have to say, okay, yes, that is what I've accomplished, but that's not what my life looked like all the time. I do still struggle. I still do have challenges. I still wake up in the morning and think, oh, my God, how am I going to pay my bills today? You know, I mean, I still have all those challenges. It's just that it's on a different level. And there's a stronger belief in myself now than I've ever had before because I've been able to make certain things happen and because, you know, I've made those things happen. Like, I never thought, even 10 years ago when I became a speaker, that I was gonna have a documentary about my life story. I mean, that was not on the 10 year goal list, but it happened, you know?

Yeah. And then you find yourself standing on stage. If we're just going to look at this as an isolated moment, it's such a big one. It's such a monumental shift from being someone who wanted to hide and who's insecure and scared to being up on stage in front of everyone. And I remember when I was little, I had a lot of Anxiety and social pressure issues that I had to deal with. One time there was this school dance and I went. It was the first time I'd ever gone to a school dance and I was so awkward. I had absolutely no idea how to move my body. And essentially no friends. I went by myself. There was no one really for me to hang around to figure it out. It was such an awkward moment. And I remember a bunch of kids made a circle around me and they were laughing and I just went home and I never ever went back to another school dance again. I guess actually the timeline is that I ended up dropping out of school the very next year. And then it was about roughly five years ago, I went to the Tropicana in Las Vegas for a salsa dance competition. And her and I were performing together and competing together on the main stage there, amateur salsa cabaret. And so we're out there in Las Vegas and we're competing against some really high level competitions. People had flown in from Colombia. There was people that had flown in from different parts of the United States. I think there was some people from Europe. But I forget right now. And so we go up there and we're performing and we're competing and there's a bunch of judges almost like American Idol style standing in or sitting in front of us in the audience. And we won, right? We came first place. We ended up winning that salsa amateur cabaret competition, right? We're up there on stage.

Oh my God, that's amazing.

Yeah, we won this competition. We're standing there, we get this trophy, you know, her and I. And looking back, I remember just before going on stage, I remember two things. The first one was I was terrified because literally, this is crazy. What am I doing here? And I remember being a little kid and being laughed off the dance floor and feeling so embarrassed when I was little and never going back and ultimately dropping out of school. I remember that moment. And so there I am standing in lineup, just about to perform on stage, remembering this and looking at how far I've come and how things have changed. And whether or not we won that competition is a bit irrelevant. The point is we made it there now that we did win, which is even more exciting. But the point is there's a shift there. There's a new normal, the new narrative, the new normal experience for me now is after many, many baby steps, after many, many years, it's now changed in the most absolute way and it'll never change back. And so, Kelly, when you went on stage for the first time, for your first Major talk. Tell me what that was. Like, what was going on in your own mind? Was it a similar experience to me or was it different? What was it like for you?

Well, again, just like you're talking about, like, the whole worthiness. It's like, you know, I still remember, like, even the times when, you know, I go speak at a school and I see all the kids, you know, piling into the gym, and I'm like, oh, my God, all these people are here to listen to me. Like, who am I? Like, there's a thousand kids here. Oh, my God, like, who am I to think that I'm the one that would have the right message for them? And, you know, here I feel like this little peon, you know, in amongst the gym with, you know, with the big bleachers and kids everywhere, and I'm thinking, oh, my God, like, really, like, is this really, like, like, you know, like the whole worthiness, like, am I really the right person to be doing this? And who am I to think that I am?

Did you have like a freak out moment and you almost turned away?

Yeah. Like, it's always when people are piling in, especially when, even when I'm the keynote speaker, it's always when people are walking in that I have that freak out moment. And right when I get up on stage and then my first couple sentences, a lot of times I fumble on my first couple sentences and then I'm off to the road and everything's fine.

What is that? Muscle memory? Is it practice? What is that? Why does that work out so well?

I have a couple different routines that I do, so. So one of the things I do is, one of my coaches taught me is that you should actually sing before you get on stage because it of course warms up your vocal cords. And even if you're a bad singer, it doesn't matter. It just that it helps you internally also with your breathing and that sort of thing. I have a crystal heart shaped rock and it fits in the palm of my hand. And so there's a few things I will say to myself. And another one of my mentors said to me, you know, Kel, nobody knows your story better than you. And so I have to remind myself that it doesn't matter if I say exactly what I plan to say or not. It's just that I'm gonna trust my heart that the right words are gonna come out. And again, nobody knows my story better.

Than me, that is.

And there's certain songs that I need to listen to. I've been on stage when, like, there was an event I was at. And the woman, she had a very, very, very sad story. And her story, she was speaking before me. And so about 15 minutes before she was over, I had to actually leave the room because her story had brought me down so, so much emotionally. And it drained me completely that I knew I wasn't going to be able to perform, you know, and do my thing after. So I had to go out of the room and I had to listen to a couple songs that when I play them over and over and over, they shift me basically from being depressed to being energized. And that's what I had to do.

Anyone listening to this right now, I would suggest for you to just take a second and ask yourself, what is a little external trigger that you could utilize to bring yourself to a state of mind, of abundance? A state of mind where you're living and feeling the good feelings that you want to experience in life. Is it a song? Is it a book? Is it a conversation you need to have with a certain person? Is it maybe just going out in nature? Is it maybe the opposite? Is it a certain place you want to attend or a certain place you want to be or something you want to wear? What little thing can you do right now that's going to help your mind shift into a place of positivity and a place of abundance, to ultimately be in a place that you want? Like, what's it going to be for you? Kelly, how often do you do a process like this? Is this a daily basis? Do you do something like this at all?

Always. You know, and I want to share another little story of something that I do. So when I was going through my divorce, that was a really, really challenging time. And, you know, and if you've been through a breakup, you know what that's like. I mean, it's challenging, and it can be really nasty at times. And just seeing his name on my phone, whether be a text message or a phone call or whatever, anytime I saw his name, it would trigger me to go into anger. And I thought, okay, I'm a speaker. I can't have this. I need to be in a great, positive mindset all the time. Okay. There's times when, you know, I can be down, but for the most part, if I saw his name, it would trigger me to spiral. And then it would sometimes take me 2, 3, 4, 5 hours before I'd be able to get back to where I needed to be so I could keep moving forward in my business. And I thought okay, this is not working for me. I have to do something. And so what I did is I changed his name.

My phone, okay.

And when I speak, I always ask the audience, okay, so what do you think I change his name to?

I want to know.

Well, yeah. And they would say, oh, you change it to shithead or asshole or. Right? And I'm like, no, because that still triggers anger. Yes, that's still negative mindset. I need to be positive. So I changed his name to Poor Soul.

Oh, wow. Well, what a shift perspective.

Oh, totally.

Right.

And so I still remember the very first time I saw his name. I saw his phone. His name popped up on the phone, and it said Poor Soul. And I'm like, who's Poor Soul? And then, oh, yeah, Poor Soul. I wonder what Poor Soul knew today? And, wow. So it kept me in a positive mindset. And so, like, now. Now that, you know, things are fine and we're amicable and everything, like, I've been able to change his name back to, you know, his name. It doesn't bother me anymore. But I share that story with you because I know that every single person in this audience has somebody who affects them that way. And if they affect you that way, change their name to Poor Soul, and then that will help you to, you know, have more empathy for the person instead of anger. And that is how. Yeah, and that's how I keep. You know, it's one of my strategies that I use to keep in a positive mindset.

And we're talking about breaking negative cycles here. I remember I've been doing work with this subject in my own way for many, many years. And one of the ways that I like to put it is if we have this negative cycle and negative dialogue going on in our head, it's like every step supports itself. If I go, oh, I'm too sure. I'm just playing it with this example again, by the way, because it's funny. If I say to myself, oh, I'm too short. And then someone else says that I'm too short. So now it's affirmed. And then I go to the store and I see the suit or the clothing with the really tall model wearing it, then that visual cue, external visual cue, just reaffirms that, oh, yeah, I am too short. And it just circles and loops and it gets bigger and stronger. And it doesn't matter where we break that cycle. If you're broke, if you're going through a bankruptcy or a lawsuit in your business, if you lost your job, then somehow, in any way it doesn't even matter how. We have to break this negative cycle somewhere. Just break it. Obviously, just because you're having a tough time right now does not mean that you're going to have a tough time for the rest of your life. And tomorrow is a clean slate. Just because of what's happening today doesn't mean that tomorrow you're going to feel just as bad or that tomorrow is going to be worse. It could very well be better. Tomorrow is essentially a clean slate for us to make new decisions. It's a new experience coming for us. And we do have influence, even in the smallest ways to build up this new narrative. We do have the influence to impact and change how tomorrow is going to be for us. I'm talking about breaking this negative cycle in our minds anywhere. Just break it so we can introduce a new, healthier dialogue and a new narrative and a new mindset to ultimately lead and guide our better experience. And changing the name on a phone, that's really unique. I like that a lot. I'm going to remember it. In fact, there might be a few poor souls on my phone tomorrow, probably more than I want to admit. But anyways, the point is, how do we break this cycle? And how long are we going to wait before we break it? How long are we going to wait before we start doing positive things for us so that we can start doing positive things for the world and create a new cycle, a positive one. I love, and I totally respect, Kelly, that you found a way to break your negative cycle and change it.

I love that. I love what you're saying. That's amazing.

Okay, great. So this is making sense to you. Here you are resonating with this then.

Absolutely. It makes total sense. And you're right. Like, we need sometimes that pattern interrupt so that we can break that cycle. Because that's what was happening with me. Like, every time I saw his name, I would just go right to anger and it's like, okay, I can't have this. This is not working for me. This isn't. It's not working. And so what can I do? And I didn't, you know, and even when I did it, I did not know that it was going to affect me that way. But it did.

You did it intuitively. You didn't read it in a book, right? You didn't buy a how to manual and follow the step by step instruction?

No. I mean, there was no how to book to tell me how to stop feeling angry. When I saw his name, I didn't know where to find that it was just like, what can I do? And then I thought, I'm just going to change his name. Seriously, I don't even know where it came from. It just popped into my head, changed his name. And sure enough, at that time, we were talking or texting every day and like, I was impressed with the actual mental switch that I had. Just by doing that, I didn't feel anger anymore towards him.

And what are you working on now? What's happening in your life here for the next several months? What's your focus right now?

You know, it's always funny when people ask me that because they think, oh my God, you've done all this and you've got a documentary. Like, what next? And I honestly don't know.

So that's the truth. There's raw honesty. I love it.

I know I'm being honest. Like, I am not one of these people that says, okay, I must do this in five years. Like, I am open to the possibility of incredible things that the universe can put my way. Like I said before, I didn't know 10 years ago, if you were to look on my bucket list, it would not have said, I want a documentary about my life story. I would not have said that. And so, but to me, like, right now, what's been happening is I definitely been doing a lot more coaching. So people are asking me to coach them on how to become best selling authority. And so that's one direction that I've been doing a lot of. So I'm doing more one on one coaching as far as that goes. I definitely want to get on some more bigger stages. I mean, I. I love what I do. Over the last year, I didn't realize how much I love speaking until I didn't do it over the summer. And then it was like, oh, I need to get back to the. And. And I could see myself getting so miserable. And then when I got back on stage, it was like, oh my God, this is my home. I love this. It's truly what I love to do. And I think it was because, you know, as a child I wasn't listened to. People didn't pay attention to me because they wanted to ignore me, because they thought if they looked at me or looked at my scars that I was gonna get mad at them and think that they were being rude. And so, yeah, so I think that's what really helped my soul is that people are actually starting to pay attention to me now than ever before.

And how do people find you, Kelly? I mean, they've Seen you on stage, they've listened to your TED talks, they've listened to you right here on from Rock Bottom to rockin it. They're sharing this episode with their friends, of course. Wink, wink. And now how do people actually find you, Kelly? Is there a website or a LinkedIn? What do they do? Where do they go?

Yep, they can go to all those places. And actually I have a free gift for your listeners, so.

Ooh, I love free gifts.

Yeah, I put together the best selling author blueprint. So these are for people who are really interested in becoming an author. You can text the word blueprint to this phone number and it's 1-877-414-1768. And if they text the word blueprint to that number, they will get my best selling author blueprint. Plus they'll get a case study about how I published a book in three steps and three days. And there's also a link there if they want to book a free 15 minute phone call with me, a coaching call.

I just texted right now blueprint to the number and I got my response and it says I got this link here and if I click it then I get the blueprint and there's a case study. And yeah, there's some, some more stuff here. And yeah, so it's really simple. You just text it in and it's done. It's simple. Simple as good. I love it.

Exactly. And so if they want, they can text me back and then I can also, you know, give them some more information. But absolutely, they can find me on LinkedIn, Facebook, that's my home. I love being on Facebook, I'm on Instagram. But you're not going to get much response from me because I don't know, I still haven't learned to like Instagram.

Well, everyone's got their own way and you've mastered text message here. Kelly, you have an amazing story. I'm so glad that you've been able to get through this and to find the courage to share this, to get done what you've gotten done. And I hope that everyone listening here finds a little bit of motivation and encouragement and maybe even affirmation to take your own little baby steps. It helps you break your own internal dialogue and start to create your own personal new narratives that supports the life and supports the beauty that you have inside you waiting to come out. I hope that you found some value in this interview and I hope that you join us again next time. Remember to subscribe to the channel and most importantly, share this with someone who needs to hear it. If there's anyone that you know that you can think of right now, then just take a moment, stop what you're doing, and just forward the episode to them so that they can hear and benefit from this as well. This is what this show is about. This is a nonprofit initiative. This is my own passion project and I'm doing it to help people. So help me achieve that goal by sharing this with someone who needs to hear the episode as well. I would definitely appreciate it. Kelly would appreciate it. And most importantly, the person that needs to hear this will also appreciate it. Remember to check out Kelly's website text in blueprint. You can reach out to her anytime. But for now, have a great day. We'll see you next time on From Rock Bottom to Rockin it. And that's it, my friends. For this episode. We will see you next time. Please send me an email, say hello, give me some feedback. Let me know what you think. Give me some tips and suggestions. I'd love to hear from you. Also, please share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Facebook, Twitter, Twitter, Instagram, doesn't matter. Just get it out there. I really appreciate it. And we'll see you next time on From Rock Bottom to Rockin It. Have a Rockin It.