17: Coma Inducing Car Crash with a 5% Chance of Recovery to Happy Loving Family // The Story of Harriet Ronaghan

I was in a wheelchair. How is this girl gonna walk? And how is she gonna, like, get a boyfriend? And how is she gonna get someone to marry her? After the accident, when I told them that I had a date with him, they were like, what? How did that happen? And I was like, I asked him out on the computer and he said yes.

Welcome to From Rock Bottom to Rockin It. I'm your host, Eric Gilbert Williams, and this is the podcast where we stories of people who hit absolute rock bottom, then got back up, wiped off the dust, kicked failure to the curb, and now they're rocking it like you'd never believe if you didn't hear it. Live right here, we cover subjects in business, sports, and life in general. If you like this podcast, please share it. These interviews are intended to inspire, to motivate, to give hope and vision. So please share this episode with someone who needs it. Use your Instagram Account, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn. Hand signals. Trained pigeon sent smoke signals up in the air. Use Morse code, whatever you like. Just share the love and share this episode. Also, email me anytime. Podcasterrickgilbertwilliams.com Send me questions you would like to have asked of future guests and I will incorporate them. Or just send me some suggestions on how to run a better podcast. Or just say hello, I'd love to hear from you. That's podcastricilbertwilliams.com I know you're going to love today's interview, so let's get started here with us today on From Rock Bottom to Rockin it is Harriet Ronigan. Harriet danced ballet for years as a kid. It was one of her biggest passions. She was about to attend university to study polytechnics. But everything changed in 2007. A dump truck going full speed T boned the car Harriet was in and it was a catastrophic crash. The impact absolutely shattered her neural networks in her brain and sent her into a three month coma. She had a 5% chance of survival, but she beat the odds. Survival was just the first step though, because she woke up almost completely paralyzed. Through years of overcoming countless obstacles, she successfully recreated her brain's neuroreceptors in order to live normally, to walk and talk normally. And she's been an inspiration to thousands from this miraculous recovery. She's also the winner of the Courage To Come Back Award. Harriet, welcome to the show. How you doing?

I'm good, thank you.

Good. And what part of the country are you in?

Right now I'm in Vancouver.

Okay, great. I'm from Kitchener, Ontario originally, and right now I'M out in Cupertino, California, where the sun is shining.

Yeah, the sun's shining here too.

This show from Rock Bottom to Rockin it is about finding these inspirational stories and amazing people like yourself and having just a simple conversation. What's happening and what was your story and how's life now? Right. How did you go from your rock bottom moment and cross that chasm to be rocking it and being happy? So I'd love it if you could share it with me and everyone listening. Harriet, in your own words, what's your story? What happened here? I think this was around when you were 16 or 17 years old, if I remember correctly. Is that right?

He was. I don't remember the actual accident. I remember after the accident very vaguely though. Like I have images in my head. And then I was. I had neurosurgery. I was put in a drug induced coma for a week, but I stayed asleep for three and a half months. So I woke up just before Christmas, the second hospital I'd been in. So at the first hospital I was in, a nurse said to my mom, just, you wait, by Christmas she'll be up eating her Christmas dinner. And my mom was like, are you serious? Like, I don't believe you kind of thing. And I was eating Christmas dinner on Christmas day.

Wow. You know, a friend of mine had a stroke and he lost mobility in his legs and he's been learning how to reactivate the connection and mobility in those legs. It's been an incredibly challenging process for him, of course. But you lost control of more than just your legs, I think, Is that right? Were you completely paralyzed from head to toe? Is that what happened?

I wasn't paralyzed at all.

What happened? What was that?

I suffered a brain injury and my cerebellum injured the most. So my neural pathways in my head, my brain had all sheared and they were broken. So I had to create new pathways of walking and moving and talking and I had to learn how to eat.

Swallow, talk, walk, pee, everything all over from scratch.

Yeah. Basically I was like an 18 year old baby.

Wow. And I'm curious, on a philosophical perspective, where does willpower come into effect here? Would it just happen naturally to anyone versus did you have something special driving you forward? Is there something fundamental that forced you to keep moving forward and make this healing happen, regardless of what's going on?

I would say a percentage of my family and my caregivers and my friends that were behind me, but I think a lot of it was myself. I'm a very determined person, like My husband, he would just say, I'm so determined. I won't stop until I get something done my way. So when I was in hospital at GF Strong, so the third hospital I was at, and I was surrounded by people who were also in wheelchairs, and I could see how far I had to go to get to where I was, but I never, ever stopped trying. There was never, ever a part of me that thought, I can't do this. I was just, okay, I'm going to do it. And no matter what doctors told me, what physiotherapists said, I was going to do it.

And I think that the doctors initially said that you had something like a 5% chance of survival. Is that right?

Yeah. In emergency, what does it feel like.

To be told that you were unconscious, I mean, to say, but when you woke up? Right. And then people say that statistically you should have died, but you actually survived. Like, how did that make you feel?

I was shocked.

Yeah. And same with learning how to move again and redevelop those neural networks. Did they say that this wasn't going to happen? And did they say this was impossible? Did they prepare you for the worst and tell you that you might not be able to walk again?

Some people told me I wouldn't walk, but I just disregarded that. And I didn't listen too much to what doctors said or anything. I just went with myself. Because my dream in life was to get married and have a child or children and family. That was my dream ever since I was, like, a child. So I got asked about every day from therapists what my goal was this recovery. And I always thought back to that, but I never ever said it because they would think I was crazy because I was in a wheelchair. How is this girl gonna walk? And how is she gonna, like, get a boyfriend? And how is she gonna get someone to marry her? And then how is she gonna have babies? I just thought that would be better to keep to myself. I didn't want to hear or see. I don't think that's gonna happen.

Look, you incubated that thought inside yourself and nurtured it with your own thoughts and your own energy to keep it safe. I saw your acceptance speech at the Courage to Come Back awards ceremony. I checked it up and watched it yesterday before we recorded here, and it looked on the video like you were walking quite well.

Thank you.

What did it feel like to be on stage like that in front of thousands of people?

It was mind blowing. It was so special and so amazing that someone Like I was being awarded this thing for my recovery and my life, basically.

And what do you think? Do you realize just how amazing of a recovery this is? Or for you, was it just normal? Was it just something you had to do and so you just did it and then that's the end of it? And do you realize just the full extent of how miraculous this is?

I do now. After I got the award, but before, it was just the way it had to be. It was just the way my life was. It was just going to happen.

Because I wonder sometimes out there. So sometimes when I'm struggling in my own context and I look at a big problem, sometimes I get all freaked out and I feel really small and stuck. And when I look at the sheer size of a problem or if I compare my problem to someone else's, right, Like I can just look up on Google some statistics or talk to people and get some opinions. Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna fail and maybe I'm not gonna be able to do this thing. But other times when I focus on just what I need to do next, when I look at, okay, this is where I'm at right now, and this is the thing that I need to focus on doing just now, today to help me get just one step closer to the goal. When I just focused on that and block out everything else, all of a sudden everything seems a bit easier. What was your experience? Was it like that or was it different?

No, it wasn't like that. I didn't really concentrate on the here and now. I just saw my goal.

Okay, and have you, out of curiosity, looked up concepts like Law of Attraction? Have you read any books like that or did you kind of just make it up as you go?

I kind of made it up as I go.

I love it. Just a natural healing, a natural process. And what do you call that? Is that instinct or intuitive on knowing what to do?

I don't know. It was just me. I have my determination and not wanting to give up.

And before all of this, I think that you were dancing a lot. You were a ballerina, you were training a lot, is that right?

Yeah, I was ballet dancer and I was an air cadets as well. And I did biathlon through air cadets just one year. And that's how I met my husband, actually.

Oh, okay.

I was 14, I went up training with the BC Rathlon team and I made it through to the BC Winter Games and my husband was actually on the team that year and I saw him and I was a useless ski cross country Skier. He was really good, and I was just like, 14 and he was 16. And I was like, he's so cute. I'm going to marry him one day. And I told my parents that, and they were like, sure. But after the accident, when I told them that I had a date with him, they're like, what? How did that happen? And I was like. I asked about in the computer, and he said yes. And then we went out, and the rest is history.

So you knew him before the accident, and I think you were about 10 months recovering in the hospital, is that right?

Yeah, I knew him very vaguely.

You knew him as the expert skier that you had to talk to at some point?

Yeah, basically.

That's cute. And you've written a manuscript for your book now called you'd Are My Sunshine. Is that right?

Yeah.

Why did you pick that title? What does it mean to you?

Because I love the song you Are My Sunshine. My mom used to sing it to me when I was in a coma. And I'm getting emotional.

That's quite all right. This is such an emotional subject. This is powerful stuff. I mean, the whole reason that I'm doing this show is because I want to share people's stories like this. They're so motivating and helpful to different people in different situations. You know, when I was little and I was struggling and I couldn't keep my shit together, and I got in a lot of trouble as a kid. It was listening to these types of stories. It was reading books about these subjects from amazing people. It was hearing that impossible is possible and that all that matters is right now and what we do tomorrow and today. That's what kept me going. It gave me motivation when I didn't even believe in my own self. Right. Seeing people like you and hearing about people like you out there that achieve the impossible, it made me think, man, if they can do it, then maybe I can, too. Maybe I can achieve what seems to be impossible as well. It made it real for me. Just like people who are lying in a hospital bed right now listening to this, your story is making it real to them. It's making recovery a real possibility and reality for them. Right. When I refer back to my friend I told you that lost the use of his legs recently, he feels very alone in a lot of ways. He's disconnected from what was normal, and he can't do the things that he could do before. It's a scary place. I mean, you're preaching to the choir here. You know all about this, right? He's the only one that can figure it out. He has to do that by himself, basically, of course. But he's not actually alone. And you weren't alone. People out here listening to this, you're not alone either. And that's the point of this show. It's to connect us all and just be human and be vulnerable. Yeah. Anyways, I'm rambling now, but it's okay to be emotional and to be vulnerable. It's a part of being human.

Yeah.

How's the search going for the publisher? I think you were looking for a publisher at one point, is that right?

I was. And then I got pregnant with Charlie. Pregnancy is so exhausting for me. It's exhausting for me every day. I usually take Modafinil, which helps me with my energy. But with pregnancy, you can't take Modafinil because I've got a fetus or something.

Right.

It's not safe, so I can't take that. And pregnancy is exhausting. Anyways, I wouldn't know all the time. When I got pregnant with Charlie, I just put my book on hold because I was like, there is no way I'm going to be able to do this. And then I had Charlie, and the first year was exhausting. I breastfed for 10 months, and I was just enjoying Charlie and not really interested in looking for a publisher because that's a lot of work. And then I got the Curse Come Back award. And then, I don't know, lots of things happened. And I'm getting an alumni from a university for my recovery. And so that's in June. And I got that because one of the heads of the university was at the Kurtzman Beck Awards Gala. She, like, obviously heard my. And saw my speech, and she contacted me afterwards, came up to me and said, I want to make you part of the Kotlin family. I don't know about, but I'm going to talk to the group or the board or whatever it's called and see what we can do. And I didn't really think anything of it. I was just like, okay, thank you. Like, get back to me. Gave her my email, and then she emailed me in September. So the gala was in March last year, and didn't hear anything until September. I was just enjoying Charlie. And then she tells me, I'm going to get the Quant One for Tireless Runner Alumni Award, which has never been presented before because nobody has deserved it.

Wow. They created an award for you?

No, no, they didn't create it. They always had it. But they Never awarded it before. Yeah. So I'm going to do that in June, I believe, depending on this whole virus outbreak also. But then in January, so that was September. And then Christmas happened. Yeah, Christmas, family, blah, blah, blah. And it's tiring. And then I got pregnant again. And so now we're on hold again for the book. So maybe in a couple years we'll find out.

And I hope that you keep us posted, too, as soon as we come back from this short break. I remember hearing about you visiting back to that hospital, the one that you recovered in, and you saw someone else who was in the same hospital bed that you had that coma in, and then you did something magical there. And as soon as we come back from this short break, I want to ask you about that. Eric here. I hope you're enjoying the episode today. This is a passion project that I put together. I really wanted to do this. I really want to help people out there. I had so many people reach out to me when I was younger and when I was having a tough time and struggling. I've written a book about it. You can check it out on my website. Please do. But most importantly, reach out to me. Give me some feedback. What could I do better with this podcast? What am I doing that I should stop? What am I not doing that I should do? Tell me your experience, give me some tips and suggestions. I really want to design this to suit your needs. And all you got to do is send me an email. It's ericericgilbertwilliams.com or use the contact me button that you'll find on my website. Just send me an email. We'll have a phone call or we'll chat online. Doesn't really matter. I would love to hear from you and figure out how to make this show even better with your help. So please reach out and don't be shy. Okay. We are back now here on From Rock Bottom to Rockin it with Harriet Ronigan and Harriet, I remember reading about you going back to that hospital and you had asked to be brought back to the same bed that you were recovering in. And you went to that bed and there was someone else there in it and they were healing as well from their own incident and injuries. And you had a conversation with that person, is that right?

I was with my mom. I was visiting a girlfriend of mine who had a broken hip. Anyways, I asked my mom to take me to the ward where I was in a coma. And so mom takes me and the nurses were all like, amazed to see me I was walking with a walker. It hadn't even been a year since the accident. So I asked mom, what bed was I in? And so she pointed. And there was this young boy in the bed, and his father was looking over it, and he had this look of, like, horror on his face, like, worry. So I asked the nurse, like, what happened here? And she was like, oh, he was in a motorcycle accident. And the dad was like, what about her? And she was like, oh, she was in this very bed. Not even a. And he said, what, like five years ago? Because I was walking with a walker. And she was like, no, not even a year ago. And you should have seen his face. It was just mesmerizing. It was so uplifting. And he just looked at me and said, thank you. And, like, I knew right then I had to write a book to, like, help me inspire people.

So he was the inspiration and motivation for your book. I really didn't realize that. Do you mention him there at all? Does he have a special section?

Yeah.

That's nice.

That changed my writing format because I was writing as a journal for me personally to let my emotions out, because my counselor said it would be a good idea to try and let my emotions out that way. And so I was kind of doing that, but not really. Like, I was every now and then, but with my fatigue and stuff, I was just like, be bothered to write something down or do I just want to nap? Have nap. But when I saw him, I was like, okay, I need to write for other people now. So I changed my format to word the wisdom and helping other people, survivors and their caregivers and their families.

Do you want to give us a little exclusive sneak peek here on the show, Harriet? I mean, what did you say to that boy that had the motorcycle accident?

I didn't say anything because he was in a coma.

Oh, sorry. I totally misunderstood that part. My mistake. But coming back to the book and people that are listening right now, what would you say to them? If you're listening to this podcast right now and you know someone who is struggling to recover from a serious injury, or if maybe you're recovering from a serious injury right now, Harriet, what would you say to these people listening?

Don't give up. Just keep on trying. Keep on pushing. Just believe in yourself and your personal motivation, and you can do it. If no one else believes in you, you can believe in yourself.

I remember reading here, and you said that at one point, your disability was only a disability for as long as you chose to look at it that way. Is that how you remember it? Is that how you remember saying it?

Yeah. When I chose to look at it, at my abilities, I began living again. There are so many things I can do. I can't run, but running is bad for your joints anyways. I get tired, but that's okay. I just have an excuse to take a nap. I can do lots of things. Like, I can't. I do things with my choice and I do things of safety and I choose not to, for example, go skiing. I can try adapted skiing, but I choose not to because I just. I'm not interested.

So what I'm hearing here, it sounds like you're changing your perspective to suit what you need in the moment. I mean, you're saying you can't run right now, but that's okay because it hurts the joints anyways. The way that I'm interpreting that is that what I'm hearing is that you're taking a reality and you're turning it into something that's a positive for you. It's like, okay, it doesn't really matter. Have to complain about not running because, hey, you don't want to run anyways. Who cares? Next subject.

That's what I did.

Other people that are struggling right now, if I just talk about myself, even just recording these podcast interviews, sometimes there's issues with the technology, you know, it doesn't record properly. I have to re record something or it's a complete flop on the technical side. And if I just focus and write down and think about all the things that aren't working or that are making problems, then inevitably it's going to become a negative spiral in my brain, right? If all I'm focusing on and looking for, if all I'm seeing and experiencing is problems and obstacles and challenges and negative energy, then that's going to be my experience. It's going to dictate how the next little bit of time is going to go, right? If I'm emotionally attached to this problem mentality and this, oh my God, there's just too many issues here, then that's going to create this overwhelm and almost dictate how the next little bit is going to go, and I'm just creating more and more problems for me by having focused on them too much in the first place. Whereas on the flip side, if I say, oh, well, I guess that wasn't meant to be, I guess I wasn't supposed to record that one right now. Maybe I should just do something else for a little bit, right? If I change my perspective Then it doesn't turn into a big, giant, looming ball of negativity. It just becomes something that supported me on the journey. I guess we're talking about the power of perspective and choice at this point.

Yeah.

There's a saying that I love to use once in a while, and it goes, okay, we can't choose what happens to us, but we absolutely can choose what we're going to do about it. Right. How to respond to it.

I agree. The thing with my recovery is I could have looked at it very naively and just given up.

You could have. Yeah. And a lot of people would have.

Yeah, I know. And a lot of people do. But I didn't because I knew I would get married. I would have that family that I dreamed of since I was like 5 years old, 6 years old, and I have it now.

I think that you're an inspiration for so many people, and I hope that you find that publisher, that perfect publisher when the time's right and you pick up that project again next year or whenever the time's right. If anyone listening to this has some tips or suggestions or contact for a publisher, I would encourage you to reach out. I'll have Harriet's contact info on the show notes to this episode so that you can reach out to her. And Harriet, is there a certain place or method that you would want people to reach out to you that wanted to talk with you? What would you recommend? Do you have a LinkedIn or a website or something, or.

My website is just my name, dot com.

There you have it. Harrietronigan.com and I'll put a link to that URL on the show notes to this episode so you can find it easily.

My name's not easy to spell.

It'll all be there in the show notes so that everyone can find it and knows exactly where it is. What do you think, Harriet? What's next? Are you pregnant right now? Are you having another baby?

Yeah.

Oh, I thought I heard that. I didn't know for sure. Wasn't going there. Right. This is the typical guy thing. Right. I think that's what she said. Do I go there? Do I not go there? So how far along are you?

I'm due in September, so I'm about like three months, Three months, a half. I don't know. I don't keep track too much, but I can tell you on my app, 14 weeks.

14 weeks?

Yeah.

Everyone's journey is different and everyone's dreams are different. You know what your dreams are. You're crystal clear on what your Dreams are. And this is my first takeaway from this conversation. You took a moment and looked deep down inside to ask what is actually your number one priority? What's really important to you right now? Not surface level or, or something that comes from society. What's important to you? And you listened to the answer. Whatever it happened to be. And for you, it was family, it was marriage, it was having a beautiful son and beautiful kids, another one coming. And I hope that people listening to this ask themselves, what is it that's fundamentally important to you deep down in the core? And then, Harriet, you went ahead and achieved it. You beat the odds. You moved forward, you achieved your dream, and you're achieving your dream. And because this is an ongoing process, I'm so grateful to have had a moment to chat with you and for people to have this chance to hear your story from your own mouth and from your own words. I really would love to keep in touch and I really hope that you do get to have the publisher connection. If you ever at all, at any time need someone or want someone to chat with or bounce an idea with or collaborate on, just send me an email. Use me as a resource. And I'm sure that people listening to this want to help as well, because you're an amazing person.

Thank you.

Yeah, thank you very much again, Harriet, for joining us here on From Rock Bottom to Rockin It. We're gonna wrap up this episode. We'll talk to you all and we'll see you next time because the YouTube channel is coming out. Share this and subscribe and like the channel. I appreciate it a lot. Have a Rockin it day. We'll talk to you soon. And that's it, my friends, for this episode. We will see you next time. Please send me an email, say hello, give me some feedback, let me know what you think, give me some tips and suggestions. I'd love to hear from you. Also, please share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, doesn't matter, just get it out there. I really appreciate it. And we'll see you next time on From a Rock Bottom to Rocking It. Have a Rocking it.