3 Blind Spots That Keep You from Your Dream
30 Jul 2020 · 26 min
Brendon Burchard identifies three blind spots that block you from your dreams. He draws on his life coaching experience to explain how self-doubt, lack of discipline, and unclear performance standards keep people stuck.
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Foreign. Hey, my friends, it's Brendon Burchard and welcome to the Brendan Show. This is a podcast about helping you reach high performance in your life, in every area of your life. It's about staying more motivated, more confident, more disciplined and on purpose. You know, the high performance experience is really about feeling more vibrant, more connected, more excellent, more fulfilled in your life. But it's also challenging you because you and I both know it's difficult to reach those levels of high performance without support, without ongoing commitment and dedication to your own personal development. So welcome to our HPX community. Thank you for joining us here on the Brendon Show. I'm super pumped for today's episode. Before we begin, I want to let you know that we have specials right now on our HPX nutrition line. If you didn't know it, I rolled out three specific products to help you with your performance. These are three specific supplements that will really give you the edge. Now, don't worry, I'm not starting an MLM or a downline. I'm not asking you to promote any of my products. And frankly, just like you, there's a lot of different companies and a lot of different products that I love and I enjoy and I'm not trying to compete with. It was specifically, I could not find three world class supplements that specifically helped me in these areas. So we've got HPX Optimize, which is a mental focus and energy product for your brain health. Then we've got Essentials, which is a functional multivitamin which we've basically enhanced for longevity, for joint health and for vitality and digestion. But what we did, instead of like making a multivitamin where they sprinkled a million different things in there that actually have no effect, we put in dosages here that you'll be amazed by. And then finally we've got HPX Organic Boost, which is the energy drink mix that I take because it's 100% organic. Organic. It's actually delicious too, I have to tell you that. So go check it out. Hpxwellness.com, everything you need to know is right there. And if you've ever wanted to know how to reach the high performance experience in terms of your biology and physiology, these products can really support you. Go to hpxwellness.com and without further ado, onto today's episode.
Reconnecting with your heart, reconnecting with your dreams will change your ability to be more productive. If you reconnect that often enough, you don't stop. If every Day, you remind yourself of it and you connect your work and you say, this is gonna matter. This is gonna make a difference. And you do that every day. Does it change your life? Yes or no? Who's ready for that kind of day? That's what I'm talking about. Because, look, getting here, it's easy to make it complicated. It's easy to say, oh, it's gonna hard to achieve my dreams. And everything I say, well, most of the times, people just forgot what their dreams are. They haven't written down their dreams since January 1st. And sometimes even when they write it down, January 1st, they got a hangover. So it's not that inspiring. So they haven't really thought through, like, wow, what would really enliven me. But you wrote it down in your manifestos, in your books. Your dreams are there. That's your life plan. Hold that book up and say, I own my dream. Own my dream. Yeah. Be proud of what you wrote down. Give yourselves a round of applause. Dang, right? There's no question what will help you do it, and there's no question what will get in your way. It's just the same. It's human nature. Here's what's gonna cause you not to have them, and here's what will cause you to have them. When people don't achieve their dreams, they don't get to experience their dreams. It often happens from such basic things like this one. Distraction becomes their enemy, because with distraction, there becomes more delay, and with more delay, less days connected to the dreams. I know it. I know it personally. I know it personally. When I decided I wanted to leave my job to become a life coach, like, that was my. That was my original intention, was, like, when I finished college, I said, you know, someday I want to be like a coach and, like, help people individually. And I didn't know what that meant or how that worked. And because I was unsure of myself, I started being distracted. See, in productivity, sometimes they say, don't be so distracted. And what they're really missing is so much of the underlying cause of distraction is this little guy down here called Doubt. It is the lack in faith, in your ability to figure things out, AKA confidence. The more confidence you have, the less distracted you get. Raise your hand if you follow. But you let yourself doubt and wonder, am I good enough? Can I start that? I thought, who am I to be a life coach to anybody? I was in my 20s and I thought, you know, all these people who want life coaching, they're much more experienced than me or they're more wealthy or. I told myself all these stupid stories without ever having looked into coaching because coaching has nothing to do with me, my age, my background, or yours. It doesn't matter if you've done coaching or, you know, coaching or you've done it. That's not what it's about. Coaching is a process. It's a process where you engage people in meaningful conversations where they can discover things and make some decisions. It's not about how smart you are. It's not about your background. But I told myself those stories. Who's ever done that before? How many of you realize that was the wrong thing to tell yourself? I was just telling myself these dumb excuses and these dumb stories. And so what ended up looking like was I was doing all these other things. I had so many little side projects, I was doing 50 different things instead of the one thing I really want to do, which was build a career, inspiring people who would love a career like that, by the way. I mean, that's. That's what I do. That's what our coaches do. It's just like that. It's magic. But I. I fooled myself because I was like, well, who am I? Why. Why could I do this without realizing? Coaching is just a process. If I could follow the process, I could do it. But I had a lot of distractions, and the distractions were really coming from doubt. I don't know what your dream is. Mine was to be a coach someday. I don't know what yours is, but I want you to be very, very careful in noticing where you are, distracting yourself and asking, is it because I'm doubting myself and don't I deserve, after this much time on the planet, to have some faith in myself? If you survived all that other stuff that's happened to you, will you survive the next level? Yes or no? If you're here and say, I'm here, then you can go there. You gotta believe in yourself again. Remember, confidence is just our ability to believe that we can figure things out. We believe in our ability to figure things out. If you don't believe in your ability to figure things out, you just keep more and more and more distracted, more and more detached from the dreams. When you got discipline, you're going to get those dreams. When you got discipline, you will make those dreams happen. I mean, if you know barely what to do and you forge discipline to get there, your career will take off. It will take. If you barely know what to do but you're disciplined about it, you can change your life forever. It's how I first started. It's how I first made some money. It's how I first, like, got into this game. I was like. I got so disciplined about just. I was like, okay, I can start conversations with people, I can help them, I can encourage them, I can coach them. Let me build a career. And I barely knew anything. But what I did know was I was clear about was my dream. I wanted to spend time with people or on the phone or on the Skype, helping them with their life. I was just like, that would be unbelievable. I would finish the day so fulfilled. I just once I could believe in myself. Needed to set up discipline, which is easy when you have a plan or when you see the outcome. And I'll share with you how our industry worked at the time. So you understand. I began this a long time ago, 12, some plus years ago. First paying client as a coach, much longer than that. But here's what I saw. The average. This is what I was learning at the time. Here's what the average life coach was doing here in the US the average life coach was doing about $300 a session. I found out about $300 a session. Okay, you know, I really want to give them time and energy and effort. Maybe I shouldn't do too many when I began. So I was like, you know what? I'll talk to two people a day. I can handle that. That gives me my morning to be free and research and study about somebody. And then I'll have the discipline of just working my butt off to schedule two people a day. That was my goal. Because someone sold me the math. And once someone tells me the math, oh, I'm a weapon. The first someone. I mean, I remember the first time someone said they made a million dollars with an online launch. I remember exactly where I was sitting. And then I saw another video of another guy doing it and another person doing it and another person.
And.
And instead of saying, well, I'm not like them, I was just like, what are they doing? Like, there must. I mean, there's a process to everything if you dig deep enough. So I said, I gotta figure out that process and get disciplined about it. Cause I want those results. So I heard these life coaches doing $300 a session. I was like, okay, well, how much do I wanna work? And I'm very protective of my morning. And I also wanted to write a book. And I was like, well, I wanna write a book and I wanna do coaching. So let me give my mornings to writing. And in the afternoon I'll do these sessions, they tend to be one hour sessions in life coaching back then, very common, right? So I said, okay, I'm going to do this twice a day, okay? So I just did the math. I worked backwards. That means I could be doing $600 a day. That means over five days, a regular work week, just talking to two people a day, I would walk away with how much? $3,000 a week. Which may sound like a lot or not to you. I don't know where you're at financially. To me, I was like, damn, I gotta talk to two people a day. And I get to enjoy it because it's like creativity and discovery and learning together. I'm like, okay. But I just ran the math out, right? You take that 3,000, you times it by four. That was what, 12? How much thousand a month? This was way more than I was making because 12,000amonth times 12 months equals $144,000 a year, which at that time was more than double of my salary. Double. And so I was like, I'm in. And again, I don't know where. I'm telling you guys, this is my dream, My dream. And I'm telling you how I made my dream happen for myself. I first got over my doubts and I worked backwards. I said, where am I distracted? And I realized at the time my job, which I liked, was a distraction to me being able to accomplish this. How many understand? I was like, that's the distraction. That's the distraction. Then I heard people doing group coaching sessions and getting people on the phone virtually. Instead of doing one to one, they do it one to many. And this really exploded when Skype came along. I mean, when Skype came along, it like changed the game in the coaching industry. That happened to me right about the time I really got invested and really interested in it. And people were doing this. They were doing $49 a month type group coaching sessions. Well, if you get 100 people in there, you're now at $4,900 a month times 12 months, $58,000 with just 100 people on the Internet. You add this to that, and I saw it, I saw it. $202,000 a year by doing one group session a month and doing two calls a month a day. Now, again, I don't know where you're at. That was way different than my current life. $200,000 a year. But I could also. I had dreams. I was like, I want to be able to go to the Caribbean for like a month. And just like, just literally a Month. I just want to go. I. I want to be able to go to Paris and stay at the Four Seasons and have an unbelievable. I was like, I could see it. And then you just. I did the math. I said, well, what if instead of talking to two people a day, I did four people a day? Well, four people a day would be $288,000 a year. And what if instead of having just 100 people on the Internet with me a month, I could get, I don't know, 200 on there a month with me? Maybe not at first, but build, build just like you. Whatever your dream is, are you going to have to build there? Yes or no? Are you willing to do discipline? Yes or no? I was like, I will frigging do this, man. I was like, in it. So, okay, what if I doubled that? And I doubled that? Well, then this goes to $400,000. No books, no online courses, just coaching. And I was like, I'm in it because I'm making a difference. I'm talking to four people a day. I'm going to be so enlivened by the day. So I got fired up. And then I hear, this is the average. Remember day one. High performance is succeeding beyond standard norms. And I got hungry. Les Brown infused my soul. I got hungry. I'm like, if the average guy does that, what if I become awesome?
Hey, it's Brendan. I'm bopping in here real fast for you. To urge you to go to hpxwellness.com and check out our products to help you get more of that mental focus and energy. You need to stay at your best, to deliver with excellence, to feel, like, vibrant again. Because I know we all struggle with mental fatigue and mental focus. We all sometimes get tired and sometimes we're worried about our overall health. And so I created three specific products to help you with that. Go to hpx wellness.com check out our nutrition line, and let's get you to high performance, baby. HPX wellness.com.
You have a dream. Yes. Your job is to figure out what is the methodology. People usually get your dreams, and then to improve upon that methodology. That's your job. How do people usually get that? How can I do it better? That's your job. That's what high performance is about. How do people usually get this? How can I get better? And I went back and forth and back and forth with all these life coaches. I went to all these certifications and paid all this money to all these different people over the series of years. And I was like, you Know, most life coaching sucked. And it was so easy to improve. Cause most life coaching training was teaching. You just listen to people and then ask them, how's it going? What are you working on today? What are you committed to doing and by when? And that was every call they were training. I'm like, oh, my God, A, I get bored with that, and B, there's gotta be a better way to move them forward. And that's what got me learning the discipline of what we now do in certified high performance coaching. It's what helped me dial it in. It's what helped me charge with one client for 12 sessions. Most coaching programs have sessions, right? In CHPC, we have 12 sessions to do 12 sessions with me individually. Today is more than that. 12 phone calls is a quarter million dollars with me now. Could you imagine when all I wanted was that? That was all I wanted. That was it. And thank you. And I'm not asking you to coach with me. I'm just saying you build toward your dreams. Turn to the person left, right, and say, you build toward your dreams. Build. I just got hungry. I was like, if this is the average guy, I'm gonna beat the average guy. And I want you to do that for your dream. What's the standard norms? What's the standard methodology? How is everybody else doing it and how are you gonna do it better? What specifically are they doing? One thing I noticed, like, simple things. You know, coaches, they do a free coaching call, and if it didn't go well at the end, they cut bait and then they'd go on the next person and try and enroll them. And I said, what if. Instead, if I called them or I had a conversation with them and I gave them some value and gave amazing value. And even if they did say no, what if I followed up with them? What if they said, you know, I'm not ready for coaching, but thank you for that session. That was amazing. I sent them an email the next Monday, said, hey, it's Monday. Last week when we talked, you told me you had these three big goals and dreams in your life this week. Put them on your radar. Put them on your mirror. Chase them with real hunger. Try these three productivity tactics and you'll get ahead faster. I hope it serves you. Just want to let you know, even though you have yet to work with me as a coach, that I am here for you. And you got somebody out there in the great void and darkness of the world cheering you on. Have an awesome week. And then I'd follow up in the beginning, a Week later. Hey, I hope you take a look at your last seven days. Did you move forward as diligently, as fast as you could towards these goals you had, then follow them with again at the first of the month? Hey, this month, as you go to achieve your dreams this month, keep these three things in mind. And I would just keep in conversation with them, and then they'd ultimately become clients. I said, what if I didn't give up on people so much and so fast in my life? What if you didn't give up on yourself so much in life? What if you didn't give up on other people so much in life? And it started shifting things. It changed the model, it changed the methodology. For me, then my job to achieve my dreams is the same job you gotta have to achieve your dreams. The discipline of doing it every day. Every day to show up for your job, for your dreams, every day to remember to reconnect with your dreams. And if you do that, this line is so much faster. Raise your hand if you follow. It's like so much faster. So much faster to the wealth you want, so much faster. The impact you want. So much fact. That personal meaning stuff we talked about, that social contribution we talked about, it's just faster. Avoidance of challenge. People avoid a challenge because, look, you can have all discipline in the world, but a lot of people have discipline doing things that don't matter. A lot of people do have discipline, but they're doing things that don't matter. And the reason they're doing it is they're avoiding the challenge of something higher for themselves. And so you gotta be aware of that mindset.
Yep.
Psychology keeps coming into productivity over and over and over again here. So the flip side of distraction is discipline. The flip side of avoidance is what? Action. Disciplined action. Even in the face of challenge, to believe and own your dream, even when you don't know what the hell you're doing. How many of you think that's pretty important? I didn't know I'm fully. I tell everybody. I was like, look, I had no idea what I was doing when I began. There weren't certifications to do what I did. There wasn't any of that. And then ultimately I figured some things out. I changed the methodology. I went beyond the standard norms. I hit my dream. I remember the first time in one year I collected over $200,000 a year as a coach. And I was like, OMG, I did my thing right. Who's ever hit your dream before? And then set a bigger one. That was it. And then about six years ago, maybe seven now, I had a journal like you have. Your manifesto, Everyone hold your manifesto. Say, I own my dream. And I was writing exactly what you did. My dream is. My dream is. My dream is. My dream is. My dream is. And one of my dreams ended up being something that you've seen some folks here participate in and I'll invite you to participate. I've told you about one of the dreams I wrote down was my dream. And I wrote this down, is to have people all around the world.
Living.
Their career, helping other people reach higher motivation and high performance. I just wrote it down. I wanted people around the world doing what I was doing, but for themselves, not for me. I didn't want to just build a company. I was like, I want people to experience the same joys and abundance I had in my life. Not as my employees, but them doing it for them. Not as like a network marketing, not as a business or corporation. Just like I want to give you every tool I got, every methodology I got. I wanted people out there knowing I wanted to go to bed at night knowing that someone had the caliber of sessions I was having with the people I was coaching. That was my dream. Some of you, your next level of your dream is to expand your dream so other people can have it. Write it down. Sometimes the next level of your dream is to expand your dream so that other people can have it. That's social contribution. That's sometimes the next level. It's a higher social. Like, how many of you feel like you've been blessed in your lifetime? Raise your hand. I mean, blessed. Should you give that to other people? Yes or no? That is my personal core belief. I just believe that by giving that which I have been given, I am living some type of purpose. Like I said, I don't know anyone in this room. I'm not going to claim to know your purpose. I just feel like if you were given wisdom, share that wisdom, if that wisdom came by hard knocks or lucky open doors, why wouldn't you open up some doors for other people? I just feel like if we could get back to that kind of society that says, geez, I've been lucky, let me give as much as I've been given. Not just like a little bit, not just a check once in a while, but like, how can I give people the dream that I got to have? That's what I said. I want to give the dream of being a coach. I want to give the dream of being a book writer. I want to give the dream of what I do in my career. Thank you very much. This is important. This is my dream. But I'm going to ask one thing of everybody in this room. You stay friggin disciplined and action oriented towards your dreams. Would you do that?
Yes.
Then say, I own my dream. That's what you got to do.
All right. Hey, it's Brandon. I hope you enjoyed that episode and I hope it helped you reach another level of high performance in your life, Whether it's just a shift in your mindset or shift in your habits or a shift in your intention for the day. I really honor you for listening to the Brendon show and I'm deeply thankful. So could you do me a favor? Could you just go onto itunes or Apple podcasts and rate and review this episode or any of our episodes. And also while you're there to help me, just Download the last 5 episodes too on your phone. Because you know, Apple really cares about the downloads and the rating and reviews.
And I've never really asked for that.
In six years of podcasting and finally my friends convinced me to ask you to do that for me. I've never asked anything with my podcast community ever, but I really, really appreciate if you could do that. Also, if you would like some more in depth training, please don't forget that every single month I go live for two hours and teach new and original personal development research new frameworks to my entire virtual community in our HPX coaching program. And you can just go to hpxcoaching.com that's hpxcoaching.com to learn all about the different options there. But listen, I'm live two hours every single month with literally thousands of high achievers from around the world who tune in to get these new frameworks for reaching high performance in their life. Sometimes we talk about relationships, sometimes we talk about breaking bad habits. Sometimes we talk about achieving another level of confidence or discipline or goal attainment. But we are there every single month and I'd love for you to join us. Just go to hpxcoaching.com to see all of your options and really join us. Dedicate yourself to personal mastery. Dedicate yourself to this journey not just once in a while with an episode here or there or a book there, but literally a program that could change your Life. It's called HPX Coaching and you can go to hpxcoaching.com until next time, my friends. Please remember every single day you can choose to be average or ordinary or just kind of go through the motions or you can be more intentional, more disciplined, more excellence driven what you do, because you know you need to serve those you love and those that you lead, you can choose to be extraordinary. So my friends go out there today and be extraordinary.