5 Habits for Growth in 2023

If every day is another reaction day, you are in a fixed mindset. Write it down. If every day is another reaction day, you're in a fixed mindset. You stopped believing in big projects that would require you to schedule stuff out. You stopped thinking, what skills must I master to grow? Because you're just trying to handle all the problems. Remember, you're stuck in one signal of problems. How do you develop an advanced growth mindset and habits? I don't know about you, but I'm pumped. Listen, this is the time to get excited, to re engage, to level up your expectations of your performance so that you can crush it this month. And maybe for some of you, you got to turn it around. You got to find your focus again. You got to get back in your confidence. You got to be more productive each day. You got to have a sense of vibrancy and enthusiasm to be able to take back this year. But I'm also cognizant of the fact there's so many of you here who've been in our community here, staying with us month after month and growing together that we've made it through these last months together. And to have you all here, I'm so excited. And you have the opportunity to today to learn about developing advanced growth mindset. This should be a very energizing session. I hope you feel that vibe from me. I'm ready to crush it today. I'm ready to bring some energy your way. Because high performance is not something you reach because you're lucky. It's because you summon it from within. You grab hold of your mind, of all your thoughts, you anchor yourself into your strengths, you choose what to focus on and you decide to serve. And at your top levels, you decide to be a person of excellence. Because listen, we're talking about growth mindset today. That's the topic of today. And I'm going to go well beyond the academic research into it and share with you what I've learned working with literally the world's highest performing people. What is it that they do to develop and lock in that type of mindset so that they're able to not only grow because the growth mindset, they're able to engage life differently, they're able to develop mastery, they're able to be great leaders. They're able to deal with these turbulent times way better than most people who feel freaked out or have lost their center or became so overwhelmed or got so scared or didn't feel good so they procrastinated. We're going to talk about all Those things, because those are real challenges everybody faces. But. But I'll start with this. Developing any kind of mindset starts with a decision to simply do it, to change how you view the world. Because, listen, maybe your worldview was shaped by how you grew up, by the people around you, by what teachers told you were possible, whether or not you were told you were smart or beautiful or capable or likely to succeed. But listen, today we can make new decisions about how our thoughts are going to be shaped, about how we're going to view the world, about how we're going to treat other people and ourselves. And so this is a great blessing as I get to do this. This is the day that you commit to yourself, to developing yourself. So bust out that journal. Get ready to take your notes. If you start the first of the month with this kind of energy, with these insights you'll get today, with the commitments you'll make by the end of this session, then I'm here to tell you I believe you can win the month. You win the first day, you win each day, you win the month, you win the month, you win the quarter, you win the quarter, you win the year, you win the years, you win the decade. And all of a sudden, you look back to those times that you committed to personal development, and you go, whoo. That's what got me here. Because where you are at today is a direct reflection to your commitment to personal development. Because, listen, we'll talk about the growth mindset, but you and I both know that comes from not a natural tendency or personality, certainly not as we get older, that comes from a commitment to personal development. Shake our hands out a little bit. Let's jump and get ready. Because, listen, we get to be together today. We get to commit to personal development, and that's what you've done. I want you to say something before I begin the curriculum, I want to say something to you, and I want you to hear me. You know, it's so important, so important for you to recognize and honor yourself. Maybe put your hand on your heart. Just. I know it sounds silly. Put your hand on your heart with me real fast. Just do it, please. Put your hand on your heart and just say, thank you for showing up today. Simple. Thank you for showing up today. You don't know how big of a deal that is. Let me tell you how big of a deal it is. Literally tens of thousands of people every month see the opportunity to be here, to work on themselves, and instead, they're scrolling through Instagram and looking at Facebook. They're going about their day. They're not developing the self awareness that you are developing in this program. As your coach, it's my job to get you that self awareness, to get you some self confidence and to help you gain some more self mastery so that you can live, love and matter, so you can make a greater difference in the world, so that you can grow. And it's hard to do that unless you get people like yourselves who are committed. We have people here with you who've been with me in this coaching program for years working on themselves. That's why they're the top producers. That's why they earn the most. That's why you look at their routines, you look at their consistency, you look at their outputs and you're like, how does that person do it? Well, it's not me, it's. They decided to work on their personal development, often at levels other people don't. And I know this too, because you can look at the stats in the marketplace. How few people work on their personal development, how few people buy a magazine related to personal development, how few people will read a book from that section of the aisle right in the bookstore or on Amazon. They don't even look at those things, but you do. So you're different, you're weird. And you're here with me. So let's make an awesome day today. Bust out the journal and let's get started. Okay, I want you to write across your journal the topic of today's coaching session. I want you to write advanced growth, mindset and habits. I want you to write this down. Don't be, you know, don't be inattentive to your learning today. I want you to actually write everything down as we go. Let ideas come to you. You're going to find ideas that I didn't say that just downloaded for you from above about a specific part of your life. Maybe it's your health, maybe it's your career, relationship with somebody, something with a team or the business going on. And by you just opening right now and capturing thoughts, you might find that next big idea. You might find how to fix your business or your career. You might realize that's the mindset or the habit that has limited my success, my wealth, my earning, my love, my contribution for years. That's the magic of any conversation in personal development. Always intuitively or from the divine, something just opens for us and something magical happens. You know, that's what I really believe happens. So please write across your journal advanced growth, mindset and habits. So let's Begin today's topic, advanced growth mindset and habits. I'm going to go beyond what you've probably seen about the topic of growth mindset, whether you read it academically from people like Carol Dweck, who is one of the world's leading psychologists on this topic and really popularized the phrase, or you've been in personal development and you heard of this stuff not just in the last century, but literally from thousands of years ago when people were talking about the need for ourselves to improve so we can be good to our families or be good leaders. It's not a new topic of personal development. So my job today is go beyond the common sense, go beyond what most people know, and talk about advanced levels of the growth mindset. So let's start with just a precursor view really fast of what the growth mindset is. The growth mindset is basically a worldview and a belief about the self that says I can learn and grow and become better. It says the world is shapeable. It says everything, including myself, is not fixed. Right? We're not carved in stone the way we are. Our intelligence levels, our abilities, our knowledge, our skill, our entire competency is not set at one age. It's not set where you are now today, that you can get better. You know you can improve your test scores, you know you can improve your health, you know you can improve your relationships. And it's not that. Just, you know, you can. You believe you can. That's the essence of the growth mindset. It says, change is possible. I can make it happen, and I will. That's the fundamentals, right? The opposite would say change is impossible. I am the way that I am, things will always be the same, and you give up. Which, by the way, so many people would never say, I have a fixed mindset. Everyone wants to have a growth mindset. But you know where it shows up in one place, your progress. Do you feel that you are progressing at the speed and the capability in which you have inside of you? So lots of people might engage personal development at some point, but they don't do it. And so why don't they do it? Because they actually have a fixed mindset, right? When you're not having breakthroughs consistently, when you're not growing consistently, you're fixed somewhere. It might not be your personality or your total mindset, but there's something we got to identify, something right there that we got to cut off, change, alter, reframe, recast, or recommit to that allows us to break through that gate of growth, and that's the issue. You know, if you're not breaking through gates of growth consistently in your business, then you got to go, there's something I need to identify that's holding me back. If you don't feel like your relationship is blooming and maturing and deepening as you go through the years with your partner, there's something up here that's so, like, static, that is fixed, that is, you know, stuck. You know, I'm sure you've dated somebody who just. They would never change their mind. They weren't open to new learning. They were just, like, stuck. They were fixed, if you will. I gave you the big picture of growth mindset. Let me give you a little acronym that helps develop the growth mindset. Then we're going to, like, some advanced habits. Okay, so here's an acronym I'd like you to write down to help you get where this growth mindset comes from. Write down the acronym cram. Like you're going to cram for a test. Okay, we're going to cram for a test to develop our, you know, develop ourselves. And so what I mean by that, C R a M cram. Where does the growth mindset come from? Okay, where does the growth mindset comes from? C R a M. The C is going to stand for curiosity. And I know that's like no dub, Brendon, But I'm going to help you become more curious and about where you're at so you can improve your performance in each major area of your life through today's broadcast. Okay, it'll be very, very simple then. R stands for responsibility. We're going to take responsibility for our lives. Lots of people are curious. They do some learning, but they never take ultimate responsibility for their life today and their destiny and their family's future. And so they struggle so much. So we got to talk about responsibility today also another metaphor or another part of cram. A stands for ambition. I want you to increase your ambition because with ambition, we have greater desire, we have greater motivation. When we have ambition, that excites us, that energizes, that gets us up for the day. You and I both know we're more likely to grow. Okay, cram, Curiosity, responsibility. A stands for ambition and M stands for mastery. The desire to become world class at something. The desire to become an expert at something. The desire to become an artist, a craftsperson, someone who brings extraordinary value to talent and skill to something. So usually those desires, these areas are what gives us that sense of growth, right? When I'm curious, when I'M responsible for my life. When I have ambitions and when mastery is important to me, I have a growth mindset. If we remove any of those things, we have less of a growth mindset. Right? And we can see this in childhood development. You can see this on the first two weeks of somebody's job in your company. And you know this in the first month in which you start your own idea, your own dream, your own business or a new project, are you learning about it? Are you taking accountability and ownership to shape it? Are you. Do you have clear goals? Are you trying hard to do it with excellence? Right. Those things are indicators of whether or not I believe you have a growth mindset that leads to exceptional performance, just versus just somebody who shows up and goes, geez, I hope I'm good. Does that make sense, y'? All, that's your first little acronym, and that's going to set the stage for the next five habits I'm going to give you. Okay? So if you miss any of that, the acronym was cram. C R A M. Curiosity, Responsibility, Ambition, and Mastery. Curiosity, Responsibility, Ambition and Mastery. If you can develop those things, you will develop your growth mindset. Okay, now I want to give you specific habits on exactly how to get there. Write this first one down. Notice the signals to grow. So let me ask some of those uncomfortable questions. I promise. Let's jump into different areas of your life. Has there been anything in your relationship, your significant other, your partner, your marriage, someone you're dating, or even a family member? It's just been a constant problem. It's always the same fight. It's always a challenge. It's always frustrating. And because it's always this, you've kind of like whatever it is the way it is, and you've given up what happened there. If you've done that, that's that fixed mindset at work. This can't change. It's always going to be this way. And you didn't notice it as a signal to grow and fix and improve. You took it as a signal of, here we go again. And you took the signal of a problem and you shut down. You took a signal, a challenge, a problem, and you shut down because it's uncomfortable, because it's hard, you disengage from it. I'm not going to have that conversation ever again. In other words, you threw out the baby with the bathwater and the whatever, the met. I still don't understand why anyone. I don't understand that metaphor. But someday you all explain to me that metaphor. It sounds terrible. Throw out the baby with the bathwater. Who first came up with that? Sorry, honey. Today I threw out the baby with the bathwater. I mean, what a terrible metaphor. But you understand what I'm saying. There was a recurring problem and you just gave up and disengaged. I want you to write this down. Disengagement is the tell of the fixed mindset. Disengagement is the tell. Like, you know, when you play poker, someone makes a face like this, they can pull it in. They're like, ugh. Well, that. When they look like that, that's the tell that they got a bad hand. Well, in growth mindset, the tell that you have a fixed mindset or you're stuck somewhere is you keep disengag every time there's a challenge or a hand that you drew that you didn't want. Disengagement is the first tell of the fixed mindset. You don't know you're fixed there, but you are, because you don't want to try. You want to give up. You're frustrated, you have doubt, and so you go do something else. What about your health? Anything going on? Your health has told you, you know what? I better engage this. I better really connect with this. You know, I better be honest about it. If I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see, I don't have to hate myself and say, that's who I am, I'm awful. That's the fixed mindset. If I don't feel healthy, if I don't sense my good energy, if my body isn't the way I want it to be, if I just don't feel like I'm engaging in my exercise and doing the things I need to do to be healthy, if I eat horrible, over and over and over, all of those feelings, you feel that anger towards yourself? I mean, raise your hand if you've ever felt angry toward yourself. In the health category, I feel angry towards myself. I don't like myself. I'm ugly, I'm worthless. These things, those are statements, listen, please. That are signals to change. See, a lot of people get down on negative thinking because that is a negative thinking, right? I don't like the way I eat. I'm awful. Well, no, the judgment is what is negative, but the signal can be acted upon positively. Just like I said, self doubt is not bad. If you didn't have self doubt, you would be a complete, raging, sociopathic narcissist. Self doubt makes us humble. Self doubt can make us go, oh, you know, maybe I'm not prepared for this meeting yet. Let me do a little more work. Self doubt can say, I better study a little bit more here. Self doubt is good. When I first did these videos and these broadcasts, like, I had a lot of doubt. Can I pull it off? Can I talk? I don't know how to do that. For those who don't know my story, I was mortified to do video the first time. Now I'm live all the time, all around the world, no problem. But the first time I was so nervous. So self doubt, did it stop me? No, I said self. I have a lot of doubt here. I must need to develop a little more and write this down. I must need to develop more meaning, learn more and practice more. Self doubt doesn't say stop. It says engagement. Get better, improve. That's where the growth mindset comes at an advanced level. So if you've had that before, if you get this metaphor that self doubt is not a signal to stop. Self doubt is a signal to learn. Guess what that applies to your self hate, my friend. Self hate, self anger. One, you got to learn to be more kind to yourself. Give yourself some credit. Be more caring and gracious with yourself. Self hate and self anger. If it does rear its ugly head, and it will always rear its ugly head, it rears forever. No one achieves perfect self compassion and enlightenment. Okay? Even the Dalai Lama struggles with this. It's like we still have to realize, okay, I don't like what I did there or I don't like who I am here. Signal to grow. And I really want. If I could get anything in your heads today is you've got so many signals coming at you, but so many of the signals you are taking as signals to stop versus engage and try. A signal to stop versus a signal to engage and try and engage and try again and again and again and again without listening. Engage and try again and again and again and again without the self hate. The self hate is coming from. I'm always this way. I suck. I can't. That's the fixed mindset rearing its head and kicking you in the face instead. Engage, try again and again and again. And let's go back to our acronym. Now remember, we started with the CRAM acronym, curiosity. Oh, this isn't going good. Let me get curious about why. What's the root cause of why this keeps happening for me? What can I learn about myself here? What can I learn from others here? I always say disappointment ends the day. You adopt a learning mindset. Disappointment ends the Day you adopt a learning mindset because whenever something comes up and it's not the way you wanted it, you go, oh, I got to learn something here. And now I'm not so angry or upset. I just have to engage it differently. I hope that makes sense. Curiosity, this cram metaphor r responsibility. It's my job. My job. Not the world's job, not my parents job, not his job, not the teacher's job, not my spouse's job. My job to engage us and improve this situation. Otherwise we fall to victimhood. Otherwise we disengage and we hope somebody else, you know, rides in on a white night. And I still know what that means, but you know what I mean. Someone comes in to save us. We fall to hoping for a savior complex versus let me engage this. Let me try this. Let me use the power of choice and the freedom of my moment right now, the divine blessing, to take on this challenge. What about ambition? Most of the time when something goes wrong, what you do is you focus on what's wrong. You forget to ask, how would I like it to be? How would I like it to be? Please write that down. How would I like it to be? And get excited about that. You know, if you're struggling in your relationship, okay, start thinking about what would the ideal relationship look like? That's curiosity. What would that look like? Responsibility. How can I make that happen? Ambition. Let me make it better. You know, if you, if you hate your finances right now, same deal. Why is that happening? Let me get curious. Let me learn. Let me see what the root causes are. Let me take ownership of my spending. Let me have ambition to create great wealth and save great wealth. Got it? Mastery. Mastery. What must I do to develop myself to do better here? So I know I'm spending a little bit too much time on this first point and opening everybody up, but I'm doing that on purpose as a teacher to get your mind going who's had some good ideas already. We haven't even talked about what you should do. I'm having fun today. I hope you are too. So your first habit. Notice the signals to grow. And you might notice those signals from two different areas. One, problems. They keep popping up. Look at your whole life. Where are the problems? We got to engage those again. But also listen, whether you call it like divine intent or intention or inspiration or vision, there's a lot of signals to grow too. You're walking outside and this idea pops into your mind and. And you don't know where it came from. And it's Scary. It says, wait, you want me to start that project? You want me to take on that dream? And something from within came up and it's saying, whoa, this is the next thing for us. This is exciting, let's go. You follow? It's like two signals. One problems, the other one possibilities. My question is, have you been listening to the signals from both buckets and engaging them? Or do you keep having those dreams that are incredible but you keep disengaging? Only to address the immediate problems of the world. To fix the problems, but not to grow. Please listen. Number one thing I see in business today, lots of people, they're focused on today's tasks. They're to fight the fires, to fix the problem. And they are completely disengaged from where they really want to go. I always tell people this. Imagine you're driving down a road, lots of potholes in the road. What if you decided to steer your car based on the potholes? Well, you'd run off the road, right? Or you'd hit every one of them and you destroyed the car. Your job is to see the future. See miles down the road. Yes. Avoid potholes, but have a destination. The destination isn't the potholes, but think of how many days you start the day fixing potholes. Think of how many days you are firefighting, responding to emails, responding to everybody else. You're just, you're a problem solver. Every day for everybody else. You're doing all these things to handle everybody else's things and you forgot your destination. Whoo. We got to notice. It's a signal of your vision calling again. You got to feel your heart again. Those impulses saying, let's do something great. You got to notice the ideas and the dreams and the creative things again. And you got to create time for that. Remember, there's two signals, problems and possibilities. Let's notice those possibilities again, please. For many of you, this year has been problem, adapt. Problem, adapt. Problem, adapt. Problem, adapt. Who's tired of that train? By the way, anyone else tired this year who got their butt kicked this year? Anybody? It's okay. It's okay. Raise your hands up. Oh, my gosh, what an ass kicking year this has been, Brendan. Problem, problem, problem, problem. Yeah, I get it. So that's okay. But if we're going to win the year, we got to re engage the dreams. We got to see the possibilities again. We got to grab those again, enliven our vision again temporarily. Did we have to change habits? Absolutely. But you got years in front of you, my friends. You Got to see it. I say it in motivation manifesto, right? You got to pick up that spear of purpose every day, that spear of intention every day, and you got to throw it as far as you can. Maybe that purpose or intention only lands next week, next month, next quarter, even next year. But you got to throw it as far as you can. And then you wake up every day and you march towards that spear you threw out and you go and you pick it up again, wherever you're at in your life, and you throw it out there again. That's every morning, not once in a while, you throw out that spear of purpose, that spear of intention, and you go march it. You go get it. That's what we're talking about. That's a growth mindset. That's a metaphor. You can grab on. I got to grab that spirit purpose every morning, throw it out there and go after that. Not check my DMs. He said it, people. Oh, he did. Are you throwing the spirit of purpose out in the morning by planning your day, knowing what your goals are? Or are you kind of like checking on everything else, the news and the DMs and the voice messages and the emails from everybody else, without carving out your dream, your vision, spending a few minutes, just a few minutes in your morning routine thinking about the future again, let's all re engage the future. I belabor this first point. On purpose. Signals. You're getting signals. What are you doing with them? Hey guys, it's Brandon. I'm jumping in here real quick. First, I want to make sure you've gone to progressmode.com to join the newsletter because I have a resource for you related to this episode and I have an upcoming meetup with my private group, Ultra. If you've ever liked to be in a private group with me where I help you get more progress towards your passion projects or to build your business or your brand in a bigger way. Just go to progressmo.com, click on Private group to apply to. See, you can get into Ultra and we can take it to the next level by getting in person and meeting up virtually once a month online. And as well, just go to progressmode.com Number two, this is most important. You want to have a growth mindset. Number two, you have to lock it in with Make a development plan. Make a development Plan. Make a development plan. You are the learning development officer in your life. Not someone in hr, not your old teachers. You are. And for those who have been with me for so long, you know, I say this all the time. If I parachuted into your house today, here I come. Watch out. If Brendan showed up in your house today and we opened up another tab and we opened up your calendar, and I stepped through your calendar for the next six months, is it terribly obvious to me what you are working on, what skills you're trying to develop, what projects you're trying to complete, to stretch yourself, to grow yourself? Or is every day another reaction day? Because, listen, if every day is another reaction day, you are in a fixed mindset. Write it down. If every day is another reaction day, you're in a fixed mindset. You stopped believing in big projects that would require you to schedule stuff out. You stopped thinking, what skills must I master to grow? Because you're just trying to handle all the problems. Remember, you're stuck in one signal of problems. So, development plan, what does that mean? What's the next five books you're going to read? What are they? Here's the difference. If you know, you have books and a development plan, or you just have books, okay? If you have a development plan, you know the next five books you're going to read. Why? Because you began with an outcome, not just chasing down a best seller or an interest or what showed up in your inbox. You said, I'm trying to develop this skill of public speaking. So your next five books are on public speaking. I'm trying to grow my business. Your next five books on scaling the business. I'm trying to improve my marriage. Next five books on your marriage. Now, obviously, I'm using books as a metaphor, but maybe that books is online courses. Maybe that books is online live. Cast like this. Maybe that books is podcasts. I don't know why this became a podcast. I don't think this is a podcast sign. But forgive me, today I am live. Okay, we got to figure out, okay, what is my development plan? What are the conferences, the courses, the events, the trainings? Virtual, online, in person. Who are my mentors? What are the resources I'm going to stack up and when am I going to consume them? That's what's important. Please listen. Please listen. Let me break down development plan for you. Ready? Number one, outcome. What am I trying to grow into? What am I trying to improve? What am I trying to make happen? See, a growth mindset needs you to cast out an outcome. Growth mindset doesn't just say, I'm good, I can learn. No, there's an objective. I'm going to get better at that test. I'm going to improve that marriage. I'M going to lose that ten pounds. I'm going to be more active. There's something there, there's an outcome. Then we work backwards. Okay, what must I learn to grow into that outcome? What must I learn about myself? What skills must I develop? What can I learn from other people? You know, every outcome I've ever after in my life, I read biographies of people who already achieved that outcome. I buy books that are specifically built for that outcome. I follow, listen or consume content or courses or trainings like this from people who already achieved that outcome. And I listen to how they think, I listen to what they do. And I, most importantly, on top of an outcome, right? Number I said development plan number one. Outcome number two, what must I learn? What must I learn? Okay, what must I learn? Number three, how will I learn it? How will I learn it? Books, podcasts, following this person, going to these conferences, engaging virtually like this. But number four. And here it is. This is why I brought up the calendar. Notice Brendan, the little productivity kid, getting excited about this calendar thing. Come on, people, I know it's weird, but listen, it's got to show up in your calendar. You don't have a development plan even if you have a full shelf of books. Let me say it out loud for a hallelujah. You don't have a development plan just because you have your full shelf of books. When will you read? What? When will you take what? When will you try what? A development plan is fundamentally fixed in its success based on scheduling. I know that's not sexy, so let me make it sexy. Raise your hand if you're grateful for life. Raise your hand if you're grateful for life. Raise both hands if you have people to serve, who you love and lead, you want to serve and add great value to people you love and lead. Here's the greatest breakthrough I ever had. If you are really grateful for life, if you have reverence for life, you really care about time management. If you believe life is precious, clearly you know it's also short. So now you deeply care about the time that you spend on things. And time becomes something that you are consistently managing towards, experiencing, living, setting up so that life is valuable. Like, if we're happy to be alive, we're like, God, thank you for this time I have on earth. Then notice that, God, thank you for this time I have on earth. Don't you think you'd ever go use it? Well, you know what I'm saying. So you're not developing yourself. If it's not in the calendar, you're hoping you grow. You can't keep hoping you grow. You must grow. How do you do that? It's in the schedule. It's part of today. This hour is for that. Just like you all gave me the blessing, we're all here together today. Good for you. You said, that's the time I'm going to grow. That's what we need. We also need you to have that in your calendar based on what you're trying to develop and grow into. You want to be a better mom? Get some books on being a better mom. You want to be a better leader. I want to see five leadership books. I want you to put them in the calendar. I want you to have goals of reading those books and win and make it happen. Five advanced habits on growth mindset and developing them. Number one is you got to notice the signals to grow. Pay attention to problems and the possibilities and grow into them. Number two, make a development plan. I want to see that plan. I want to see that plan. I want to see that plan. If you're a swimmer and you want to swim 5 more laps, what date will you swim 5 more laps by? Put it in there. We need it in the calendar. Number three, compare yourself to others carefully. People with growth mindset. This is really hard. Please listen to me. Please listen to me. People with a real advanced growth mindset can compare themselves to others performance habits, beliefs, results and outcomes without hating themselves. Remember, the self hate or getting down on yourself is a relationship to a fixed mindset that says, ah, I can't be that, I can't grow that, I can't achieve that. But high performers, we can compare our results and ourselves to other people without the self dread and self hatred. We do it. Why? Because that acronym, I told you from the beginning. Cram, curiosity, responsibility, ambition and mastery. If I'm an Olympian, which I'm not, but I know some of you are, and we've had. If you've ever been to our seminars before, you see rows of them. It's like, who are all these Olympians come from? They love high performance. They want to be better. They have a growth mindset. They're always learning. They're building themselves up. But listen, if you have a growth mindset, if you're a high performer, you can compare yourself. If you're an Olympian, you can go, oh, she ran a full one second faster than me. What's she doing in a routine that's different? How do I get that edge of that one extra second? What do I need to learn or develop Let me take accountability for it. Not, oh, woe is me. I suck compared to her. And stop. That's your self hate and your self doubt making you stop. That's the fixed mindset. Instead it's like, ooh, what? Get curious. What's she doing that's different? And here's what's important. You don't compare personality. You don't compare. Are they cute? You say, what are they doing? What is the practice that they have that I've not yet implemented consistently? Whoo. What's the practice that they have that I have not yet implemented consistently? Write it down. What's the practice that they have that I have not yet implemented consistently? I can't believe I could say that three times. Get all the words right. Holy Moses. Listen, I don't look at someone else in my field and go, oh, she's so much bigger than me. Or he's so much bigger, I'm never going to get there. I'm not telling him. Like, I. I wonder what they do differently than what I'm doing. And I learned from those distinctions about their practices, not comparisons about our personalities. Because as you can tell, I'm weird. And I live that in my own full glory. I can't help it. That's who I am. I'm not worried about living up to her or him. I'm wondering what they're doing differently that gave them the edge. I'm curious about that. Then when I learn their practice, I'm responsible for putting it into my life. I have greater ambition to achieve similar things they've achieved. It doesn't have to be the exact level, but the ambition for me is to grow into that. To grow more like that, to grow more into those practices. And then mastery. Show up every day, get better at it, track it, measure it. Are we doing it? That's mastery. That's how athletes can play against other athletes without hating themselves. You know, you can compete against other people without feeling less than. It just means, oh, he's hitting the gym four more times a week than I do. Let me try that. Oh, she's got that diet plan that's different than mine. Let me try. Let me get curious about that. Oh, they built that business because they had these two marketing funnels. I never even let me implement those marketing funnels. See what happens. Meaning you can model others behaviors without wanting to be like them. You all follow. I don't want anybody watching this to be like, I want to be like Brendan. Well, no, what specifically would you want? Do you want a Business this big. Do you want a reach this big? Follow the strategies that I used. Don't try to be like. I mean, none of you should. None of you should cut your hair like this. I mean, come on. I did that. Like, there's things I do you shouldn't do. Anyone? Anyone cut their own hair in the last couple weeks, Months? Anyone? Just me. Oh, you wouldn't. You're like, I would never do that. Oh, I just vramp vram, like, see, I do dumb stuff. You shouldn't want to be like me. You should implement strategies that are working for me. Raise your hand if you follow the difference here. Yeah. Remember that thing I've taught you before? Judgelessfeelbetter. Judge less, feel better. Judge yourself less, feel better. Don't judge yourself. Judge your routines. Judge your habits. Judge how you're showing up and ask, can I do better? And have the guts to ask that question. That's why we're all here learning together. All right, number one was notice the signals to grow. Number two, make a development plan. Number three, compare yourself carefully to others, specifically their behaviors and their routines, so you can learn from them. Model their behavior and their habits, not who they are. Number four, level up your community. Listen, if you've been struggling over the last couple months, my question is how consistently have you been calling, texting, talking with, FaceTiming, zooming with people in your life who. Who bring you joy, with people in your life who you can learn from, with people in your life who give you this kind of energy. If you like this energy, if I'm freaking you out, I apologize. Have another coffee. We'll meet. You know what I'm saying? You gotta find people who lift your spirits, who believe in you, who cheer you on, who respect you and value and care for you. And for those of you who don't feel like you have those people in your life or you got the wrong people in your life. The good news is you don't have to throw out the bad people and get rid of everybody, because maybe that's your spouse or your partner who you live with the last three months thought, oh, my God, what was I doing? I always say building a better community is not about having to ostracize the current people in your life. Yes, you can spend less time, but you can also judge less. Let them be their thing. Don't feel like you have to change them. Let life be their educator. You build the community on the side that you always wanted. You take responsibility to shape that. If your friends suck now, you don't have to be like, you suck. I hate you. Your attitude sucks. You should have watched this growth mindset with Brennan. Bleh. Oh, my goodness. Well, maybe you should send out that link I gave you guys. I gave you all a free link so that your friends can attend this one free. Maybe a little hint, just a hint. Maybe you should watch it. But you don't have to bag on the negative people. Instead, just go out and shape the time in your calendar to connect with the good, to connect with the people who are positive to be here with us who loves this community. You all been in this here, many of you for years. Like, if you've ever been to our live events, it's like energy, it's heart and soul. It's hugs before COVID It's so nice to be around amazing people. If you've ever been to my events, you've seen there's magic and in the air. Not because of me, not because of the music, because the humans there care, because they want to grow, they want to serve better, they want to be better moms and dads and caregivers and contributors. It's beautiful to be around that. Level up your community, build the tribe. You need to schedule time. I'll give you an example. This weekend I called one of my favorite people in the world. He happens to be my agent. And I called him and I said we scheduled a time for Saturday to hop on the phone, catch up with each other, have a glass of wine together, celebrate. I mean, imagine me on a glass of wine. I mean, I get. It's. I gotta get coffee or wine. I gotta be careful. Either one. I'm like, so we had a call, we talked, we had this wonderful time together. It was spectacular. Scheduled it. Schedule it. You gotta schedule great interactions with other people because they're busy. Follow up with people, schedule it, make it happen. Don't get discouraged because they don't pick up the phone right away. Every time you need something, build it in. Build positive interactions into your. Listen. Daily schedule. Every day I text somebody in my life who's positive, who's contributing, who recognizes me, who I want to create a relationship. Every day I text, audio shoot a video for them every day and guess what's beautiful? Do all of them write back every day on the minute? No, but I do that with five, 10 people a day. Two or three of them get back to me and say, hey, I love you too, man. I hope you're doing great. Whatever. I'm building that, not hoping it happens one day. Yeah, you got it. Number one, notice the signals to grow. Number two, make a development plan. Number three, compare yourself carefully to other people. Number four, level up your community. And number five, listen, this is gonna be a hard one. Your growth mindset has another tell. Have you actively been seeking feedback? Actively seek feedback. You need to actively seek feedback towards each of those signals. There's a problem in your life. Address the problem and say, how can we make this better? What else could I do? What are we really after here? You got a bad employee. Ask, what can we do better? Give me advice. Tell me how to do better. I want to improve here. What do we need here? What's the standards we're trying to grow into and how do we learn? You're struggling with your spouse, your partner. Instead of accusing them and attacking them or going and requesting them, I need you to do this. I need you to do this. Say, you know what? I know we both really love each other and we care for each other. Can we have a conversation about how we could do better for one another? You start. What else can I do? It's opening yourself. Now, here's the most important thing. Opening yourself consistently to feedback. Now, I want to use that word, that phrase, opening yourself. Everyone write it down. Open myself. Open myself. Open myself consistently. Open my. Open myself consistently. Write it down. Open myself consistently. What does that mean? Well, it means two things. One is emotional and one is practical. Okay, One is emotional and one is practical. Emotional means I'm open to hearing what the world thinks of me, what I do, what I'm about. I'm open to it. It doesn't mean I have to take it. It doesn't mean I have to judge myself. It means I don't get offended. Anytime I see a negative comment, it means I don't get offended. Every time I see a negative comment, it's like, I'm open. Maybe I don't. You have to listen. The real growth mindset begins with an understanding that we are not perfect. A real growth mindset begins with the understanding I'm not perfect. Because, listen, most people, when they think about growth mindset and fixed mindset, when they think about fixed mindset, they tend to think of the negatives, right? Oh, I don't believe myself. I hate myself. I doubt myself. I don't think I can make it happen. I don't think I can change. But also a fixed mindset is that upper stubbornness level, that upper superiority level. My friends, where you say, mm, I'm so good, ain't nobody understand she's an idiot. He's an idiot. They all suck. They're all terrible. They're all this way, and all of a sudden, oh, you have all God's grace flowing through you at all times. Aren't you wonderful? Right? You don't smell. You're just. You got the whole thing figured out. That's also fixed mindset. That's like, you know, an unhealthy level of fixed mindset can be too much confidence or too little. You all follow. So you got to be willing to open yourself to feedback. I'm totally open to people's feedback. It doesn't mean I have to take it if it's delivered in a negative way. Doesn't mean I have to take it if it's hurtful or harmful or rude. But it means I'm open. In other words, I keep seeking feedback all the time. Keep seeking feedback all the time. People are like, how did you achieve so much in your business? You know, like, my brands have done over $100 million in sales. To give you an idea, I've had the blessing of reaching millions of people around the world. I get to interact with you today. I love my job. If you can't tell, I'm sweating in this tiny little room for you today. I'm getting excited. I love what I get to do. It's a blessing. But how did I get here? I take so much feedback. I still am okay knowing that I'm kind of dumb kid from Montana and that I need guidance. So I listen to people who are smarter than me all the time. I'm open to the ways that they want to do it versus the way I would think to do it. I'm like, oh, try it. If you ask, talk to my team. I'm always like, test. I don't know. Try. I don't know how it's going to go. I have an opinion, but I don't think I'm super smart or more brilliant than other people. I just go, oh, I don't know. You can hold hard standards with the people around you and still be open. You follow? If you hold hard standards, but you're not open, you're stubborn and you're driving towards a car accident in your life. You are purposely driving so fixed that you can't glide, man. You follow. You got to learn to glide and dance with life and you ever go dancing with somebody who can't dance like me, and I step all over your feet, you know, what do you do? Do you stop the dance or do you finish the Song, let's all finish the song of life Dancing. Not every time someone doesn't get everything right, you know, Be open, be open, be open, be open, be open. Second, I said one's emotional. I'm open to it. I'm open to it. Another one's practical. Constantly seeking it. Constantly, constantly seeking it. Every time I do a major promotion, I Send it to 10 of my friends who are great marketers. I go, what do you think? Anything else I could do? What do you guys think? Do you like this? Don't like this? Do you think it'll work? Any thoughts? Even the videos, which are most of them that I don't personally think is awesome, I'm going to ask for the feedback. It's just like asking that. I'm going to ask you guys for the feedback. Tell us what we're doing good in this. Tell us what we suck at. Tell us what we can do better. Except for the part that says just shut up Brendan, because you know it is me. What am I going to do? You know what I'm saying? We can learn so much from each other. And when we accept that, when we constantly seek it, you can't grow at the speed of your full potential without feedback from others. We've developed a mindset in this world. Please listen. We developed a very dangerous mindset in this world that says eff everybody else. I don't effing care what everyone else thinks. Do your own thing F everybody else. And that's how we got into a polarized world. By allowing this thought that I don't give an F about other people. If you don't give an F about the opinions of other people, how can you possibly be good spouse or partner? Everybody's contributions in your circle to you and your life are there for a divine reason. To provide input, to provide some guidance, provide some ideas. Even if you don't agree, they have a right to who they are. They have a right to express their opinion. It's okay if you don't agree and you don't have to get offended. But silencing other people or categorizing them as stupid, shutting down. How many of you think the world became too close minded? I don't know about you, but a lot of problems we have in this world are directly related to closed mindedness. A lot of problems we have in this world is directly related to closed mindedness. The same thing is true in our personal lives. If we can own that, if we can be personally accountable, responsible, go. You know what? There's some areas I've just been so closed down on and I'm not learning anymore. I just believe this one thing and I can't relate or connect with other people. So seeking open feedback, seeking other ideas, seeking that. It's what makes you smart. It gives you perspective, it gives you ability to influence people more. The more feedback you get, the better influencer you become in relationships, the better leader you become, right? The more feedback you get from the kids, even if you don't like it, the more you know how they think and. And the more you're able to guide, give direction based on their mindset, not yours. That's the secret to leadership and the secret to influence and the secret to sales is understanding the mindset of the other. Because you were open to it and now you can use that information to be a more effective communicator. Lover, leader, partner, spouse. When you know their mind, you know their desires because you were open to it. Even if you disagree, suddenly you can develop influence with them.