18 Feb 2021 · 22 min
Brendon Burchard and Jamie Kern Lima discuss vision, self-doubt, and community on the Growth Day Morning Show. They share how early exposure to figures like Oprah shaped their belief in greatness, and describe tools like vision boards and Brendon's battle board for planning and emotional regulation.
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Hey, my friends, it's Brendon Burchard and welcome to a best of edition of the Brendon show. Hey, everybody, it's Brendon Burchard and I'm excited to share with you that we have started a new mortgage morning show called the Growth Day morning show. We stream live every weekday from 7:30am Pacific Standard Time to about 8:00am Pacific Standard Time on Instagram Live and Facebook Live. So you can visit my Facebook page or my Instagram page if you'd like to watch these live trainings. What's special about it is I'm doing these morning day shows with Jamie Kern Lima. If you don't know Jamie, she is that epic success story of somebody who went from waiting tables to having a dream to start a cosmetic beauty line to making stuff on her kitchen table to ultimately building and scaling it cosmetics which she sold to l' Oreal for over a billion dollars. So you get kind of mentorship from myself and literally someone who built a billion dollar company every single morning on my Instagram 7:30am Pacific Standard Time on weekdays with me and Jamie Kern Lima. It offers that format for us to have a conversation every day and I hope you'll join us there. If you're new to my community and you haven't heard what we're doing with Growth Day, please Participate by visiting growthday.com Growth Day is my new brand and our new company, a new startup where we go live every single week with the world's best personal development teachers helping you improve your life. Our thesis is every day is a good day to grow. You know, every day you can choose a new attitude, you can take a new action. Every day you can learn. Every day you can try to be your best. Every day you can get more focus, move towards your goals, be a better mom, parent, caregiver, leader, teammate. Every day it's a good day to grow, but you need that consistent motivation, you need that consistent learning, that consistent curiosity and confidence that you know you're on the path to great personal development and self mastery. And that's why we started Growth Day. Growth Day. Teachers go live every single week for less than a dollar a day throughout the year. And it is unbelievably powerful. You get myself, Jamie Kern Lima. You get health coaches, you get personal finance coaches. It's unbelievable. Go to growthday.com and check it out. But with no further ado, we want to share this episode. I hope that you will enjoy it. We are talking about vision week. Having vision for your life, having Vision beyond your circumstances, guys. Vision beyond your capabilities. Vision beyond your skills. Vision beyond your bills. You know, looking out into your future and getting excited about it and building towards it. As you all know, Jamie built a billion dollar company, called it Cosmetics. I have built nothing but a reputation of being a dork, but it's super fun.
You have built so many companies. That is not true. Oh, my goodness.
Today we're going to talk about, well, how do you keep going? We're going to talk about when it's discouraging, exhausting, overwhelming. The kids are screaming, you're tired, you ain't slept. The team doesn't get it, or the team's doing good, but they're leaving you in the D and you're trying to keep up the industry, the people, everybody else. How do you do it all? We're talking about that today. What got you into personal development? I'd love to ask that today. Like to have vision for your life. You have to first wanna improve it.
Yeah. You know, I've always loved it. I mean, I remember Brendan, you'll remember this, but decades ago, seeing even infomercials about it, right? And seeing, you know, personal development tapes. I've always loved it. You know, growing up, I mean, I was the only one I know of in my whole family. And I have like five families through divorce and adoption and all kinds of stuff. I would just read, quote books and literally geek out on it. I would in high school, keep journals filled with my favorite quotes and, you know, watch speeches from some of the most incredible speakers. Dr. Martin Luther King. I would literally. I remember days go this. I'm such a door. I remember going to the high school library because you could check out videos and I would check out some of the great speeches and watch them. So I remember sitting in the school library watching Dr. Martin Luther King speak. I remember sitting, you know what I mean? I have always just loved it. And I think it is because. And I think probably everyone part of the Growth Day community maybe shares this, where we kind of have that little inkling inside of us that we have something, you know, that special we want to give or create or serve or impact. And I've always kind of had that feeling deep down inside, even from the time I was a little girl, long before I understood it. And I remember, and this is bold. This is bold.
Do you think that's like the striving spirit? I want to hear a bold thing. But you feel like you said you were young. How many of you feel like it's because you're young, you have like a striving spirit and it's just something part of you.
Sometimes we have those ambitions or those thoughts or this. And then all of a sudden the world teaches us self doubt the world, tell us all those things, that it's easy to listen to you, like you're not enough and this and that and right. So. But I mean, I remember just from the time I was little and there was a moment, I want to say I was 9 years old, sitting in my living room, you might remember this moment where I was Oprah Winfrey was being interviewed by Barbara Walters. And this moment made the news everywhere. And she said to her, I think it was nine years old. And she said, I always knew I was destined for greatness. And I remember this moment. And the press freaked out. And all of a sudden she got a lot of negative press for it too. Because I think people weren't used to hearing, especially a woman make such a bold claim like that. But I remember being nine years old, sitting there in my living room and I would switch back and forth between MTV watching like yo, MTV Raps, which I wasn't allowed to watch, but I'd watch that. And then I'd go back and forth and watch the Oprah show every. I saw this interview with her and Barbara Walters and as a nine year old little girl, I remember like getting it. I remember her saying that and feeling like, me too, Oprah, me too. Like I remember. And her example helped me believe it was okay. Because we learn, I think so often and you know, we all learn this, not just women, but it's easy to dim our own light. It's easy to, you know, grow up and just the things take over, the bills, the kids, the responsibilities, the setbacks. And it's easy to almost lose our own vision. Right? We're talking about vision week on Garo Day. It's easy to start losing our own vision.
The weight of life.
Yeah. And I remember that moment, Brandon, as a nine year old little girl, just hearing Oprah say that in a way sparked a vision in me. And I think like, I love that we have these conversations. I hope Growth Day morning show sparks, sparks everyone else's own vision and talk.
About vision on this. I'm gonna brag on you for a minute because it's like, here's a nine year old girl who sees Oprah and gets this idea, oh, maybe greatness is okay for me too. And then, you know, builds a billion dollar company. I'm not talking about Oprah. I'm talking about Jamie here with you guys. Then Jamie ends up being like neighbors with Ofra, more or less. And it's like, wow, she built into this vision she had in so many different ways. And both her and I have been able to give back to so many of our mentors and give our platforms to mentors. And that really is magical that you have these interactions with people who inspire you, then later get to work with them. I got to go on a tour with Wayne Dyer. I got to have all the big names on my stages now. And I used to buy their tape. I love what you said. I used to buy their tapes. I used to go to the library, public public library. You all know what a public library is. I go to the public library. I'd get them for free. I love what you said too. You had quote books. I read quote books like they were fiction novels. I would just. I mean, I used to have a collection of over 150 quote books that I bought and read. Like a book. Like a book. And I'd just write them and then I'd say, oh, what do I have to say about this? And that's what started me writing quotes, was I was like, oh, I like this quote about ambition. What would I say about ambition? I like this quote about confidence. What would I say about confidence? And I started posting my quotes on Facebook and then it became the thing. But it was all part of the interactions you had of inspirational people, inspirational speeches that you saw. Young. I had the same thing. Young. I saw role models. I listened to inspiring speeches. I read, quote books. Young. So parents out there, get your kids seeing some personal development, listening to some personal development, getting excited about education and learning. Not just zoom, but like real personal development, personal growth and psychology and, you know, who knows how they'll turn out.
You want to know what's in what's. Some parents out there might relate to this. I'm a new parent, so I have a 2 year old and an 8 month old and I have not seen Sesame street in decades. And now I see Sesame Street. I see cartoons, I see all the stuff out of everything I've seen. Just to call this out, I have to give Sesame street props. Yes, they weave in personal development, they weave in personal growth into these lessons on believing in yourself, on inclusion, on, you know, trying every time you get knocked down, I'm like, I have a whole new now as an adult woman who's 43 years old, I have a whole new appreciation for how brilliant Sesame street is.
And I'm just Like, yes.
Yeah, I'm blown away, but I agree with you because when I, when I can, my daughter will, you know, say everything and you'll say, you know, oh, she loves Elmo, but she'll talk about all the different cartoons. But after watching a lot of them now I'm like, oh, it's Sesame street that I try to make sure she sees over and over. Because those lessons, right on. Just like, you know, all those things.
Believing in yourself, it's just like it's two sided. They're really good at Sesame Street's got character education and teaching kids social acuity. Like, how do you read the feelings of this, you know, inanimate object? Right. How do you, how do you read feelings is what Sesame has been always about. And teaching, you know, kids about honesty and integrity and, you know, caring for yourself, you know, yeah, they're, they're the bomb. What we're trying to do with this Growth Day morning show and with Growth Day, my company is we are trying to start this encouraging conversation in your head, but also let you know there's personal development. Fans and fanatics and dorks like us all around the world who checked out books, who listen to CDs and tapes, who are striving. So if you're the striver in your family and they make you feel weird about it, no apologies, keep striving. If you're the person who's into reading the books and listening to the podcast and doing your workout, but everybody else around you is just the complainer and not taking action and, you know, no self responsibility, that shouldn't minimize your light. You don't need other people's understanding, approval or even participation to keep chasing the vision you have for your life. Like one great untold advantage I've had in my life, Jamie, is I don't expect people to support me. I grew up in a place where people beat me. I grew up in a place where people minimized us. I grew up in a place that was economically depressed. I grew up with very little expectations of people around me at all. And so that gave me this independent, I'm going to make my own way and I'm going to do it either way. And I think that in one way that was good because it made me self reliant. In another way, I think I wish I had asked for help earlier in my, like, I'd say early 20s specifically. So it's like personal development. We always talk about self awareness, self responsibility, self reliance. But a huge part of personal development is your environment, your Community, even if you have, like, lots of obligations and hardship the rest of this day, we start with reflection about what's important in life, reverence for life. We start with the joy Jamie brings to this world. Just look at her smile. You're like, every time I see her in the morning, I'm going, I'm ready. Let's go.
Let's have a great day. So I love what you just said, too, that you wish you would ask for help sooner, too, because I think that so many of us, especially if we aren't around other people that maybe dream the way we do or have big goals or big visions or want to improve ourselves, right. We're not around that. It is easy to just take that route of, like, doing life alone, you know, in so many ways, even sometimes in our own homes, even when we have a lot of other people in our own homes, we can still feel lonely. And one of the things I talk about my book for the first time ever, never shared the story, and I won't go into it here, but it is the lesson, which is like, I realized my whole life that I thought, you know, oh, you know, I got it. I got it myself. And independence is this badge of honor, and I'll be a lone wolf in some of the stuff I do, okay? And all those things. And I actually, through the process of not being able to have a baby for a decade and losing pregnancies and all the stuff, all the hard stuff this year, for the first time ever, and then going through the process of looking into adoption and surrogacy and eventually having our daughter, I learned this lesson that life isn't meant to do alone. And that also sometimes when we show up in community and when we trust other people who have earned our trust or have similar ambitions, similar vibes, like, life is so much more beautiful. And, you know, for me, it's part of why I'm inspired to wake up every day and hop on this morning show with you and with everyone else in the Growth Day community. Because I think for so many of us, like, you know, this is a form of community where we can feel connection. And, you know, a lot of us have jobs. You know, I listen, I read everyone's DMs, they send me. A lot of people have jobs they don't feel connection in yet or don't feel inspired in yet, or they have situations in their homes or their families where they're not feeling that. That connection and that inspiration and that aliveness. And I think, you know, that's what I love so much about you putting Growth Day together as a whole company, but also with the live coaching, with all the stuff that you're doing. But then also this morning show is that everyone's here and it's really just, you know, connection with each other.
Hey, it's Brendan and I want to jump in the middle of this episode here real quick and tell you about something I'm really excited about and something that answers a question that many of you have for me all the time, which is, Brendan, where do you get this crazy focus and energy in your life? And the truth is I've developed a supplement line that really helps me do that. And frankly, I needed to. I don't know about you, but sometimes when you're trying to achieve big things, a lot of stress comes along. And as you're trying to achieve bigger things, you need to be on your A game more often. You need to be mentally sharp, you need to be mentally prepared, you need to be mentally energized and productive. And not once in a while, but like every day, you have to be on. And sometimes guzzling more coffee isn't going to do it. You have to use what we call nootropics, which are, you know, basically supplements that help optimize your brain. And yes, we have a product for exactly that. It's called HPEX Optimized and it is our most popular product. And you can get it. It's back in stock@HPX wellness.com that's HPX wellness.com you'll find HPX optimized for your mental focus and energy There. You'll also find my favorite powdered energy drink that we created, this 100% organic and vegan. And you'll find my Essentials, which is my daily multi that I take that covers my energy, that covers my longevity, that covers my immunity, that covers my brain and body health that I absolutely love. And you will feel the difference. Go to HPX wellness.com right now. HPX wellness.com I think what people are going to be surprised when you, when you read Jamie's book and again, it comes out this next month, it's called Believe It. I think what you'll be surprised in there is people often assume when you know all these people who are building these big businesses and have big teams and have, you know, ultimate outcomes that are extraordinary, we think, oh, you know, they had everybody behind them. Everyone was cheering them on the whole time. You know, whenever they walked, there were rose petals thrown at their floor and, you know, they were constantly Being handing like cuddly little animals every day. You're like, there's this myth, like, oh, I'm just going to walk on the path of ease and there's going to be a big, you know, it's going to be built on money and at the end, you know, they're just dancing bears and everyone's happy for you. I'm here to tell you often, just like the rest of you and all of us, right? Like, Jamie had tremendous hardships throughout her journey from, you know, working 100 hour weeks to trying to have family, to dealing with parent stuff, friends stuff, family stuff, team stuff, the market. Not believing in her, judging her for what she looked like, sounded like not knowing how to build a company. That's how it actually goes. When you have vision for something, that's how it goes. It will feel hard, it will look like a hot mess. People will judge it and they will judge it way too soon before they know anything. And they'll keep judging. Jamie's achieved like the most extraordinary things. She still gets judgment every day, right? It doesn't go away. The doubt doesn't go away. The doubters don't go away. The haters don't go away. The hard days and long nights, they don't go away. So you have to get better, you get stronger, you improve, you learn the stuff we've been talking about here and demanding that you handle those uncomfortable feelings. The world isn't going to change and the world is going to get a lot easier. What's going to happen is you're going to make it easier because your mindset, your habits, your discipline, your perceptions, how you care for other people, your intentionality met with initiative. And then your community, the people in your growth day community here who are going to cheer you on throughout the year and all the coaches we're going to bring you, it is a constant process and that is why we are here for you every day, guys.
And you have the best coaches. Just in my own process of launching this book, right, Anyone else who's launched a book for the first time ever, first time author, I am blown away and so humbled and grateful. But how many of your coaches, because they're just good human beings that are so brilliant and tons of them have written like dozens of New York Times bestsellers themselves, like out of the blue, just showing up for me, oh, you know, do you have a launch team put together? I'm like, what's a launch team? Do you have, you know, all this stuff, it's been amazing and there's so many, you know, incredible experts, people that I say this before because I've seen it with my own eyes. People getting, you know, they get offered, you know, $100,000 for a keynote, $75,000 for a keynote for one hour. They're going into Growth Day live for everyone in the community for I think all in, what is it, under a dollar a day or something? And you're getting live to all the people. So it's just such a cool thing and such an innovative and revolutionary thing to be able to, you know, because I seen any place before either, even like you can go find an expert online who does something, but it is so different to come and to actually experience these type of caliber of coaches live and interact with them all inside the Growth Day platform. But one thing before I forget, because we talked about this yesterday. We talked about vision boards. This is vision week, right? We talked about vision boards, which I have sat there with a group of friends and cut out pictures and did the words. And I believe in all that stuff. I love when I'll start mentoring a new woman. I mentor a lot of entrepreneurs. And then she'll bust out, like a few weeks into our mentorship, she'll bust out and show me a vision board that she put me on or it cosmetics or something on years earlier. I'm like, I love that because I think that we put things out there and we start to believe they're possible ourselves when we do that. But you mentioned also talking about vision boards and how you take it to a whole new Brendon Burchard level. Brendon Burchard level. How you do your. Your board. I remember. What did you call it, Your warrior board or. I can't remember. Battle board. I was close. I want to see this battle board. I think I need to up my vision board game here.
I just pulled off three things. Okay.
Okay.
So just to give you an idea. So my battle board is for those who are in Growth Day. You're going to learn a lot about this. If you're not growth Day Again, go to growthday.com, join our community, as Jamie was talking about. Get literally the best personal development coaches in the world working on you every week for a buck a day. It's crazy. Less than a buck a day. What am I talking about? Okay, so my battleboard, it has, you know, my calendar on it, like just big picture, you know, what I want to do throughout the year. It has reminders of my values. It has reminders of things that help key messages to my audiences. But it's not just a scheduling tool and it's not just a vision board where things are pretty. It actually has all these frameworks and these pictures on it that remind me what's important. I'm going to walk through these real fast. But for example, let's say I'm not happy. I'm just not feeling happy. I'll literally go to the board and go, why are I happy? And there's the answer right here. So it says, happier equals more presence. Okay, so I'm not happy. Bring more presence to the moment. Okay. More potential activation. Okay. Am I doing something that's pushing me to my potential? Number three, passionate lifestyle. Am I bringing passion to my interactions? Am I bringing passion to what I'm doing? Am I working on things that I'm passionate about? Enough during the week, Then purposeful living. Do I sense that I'm on purpose and can I connect with my purpose today? And then the last one says, praising God and others. Sometimes to be happier, I just gotta praise God, praise other people. I feel better. So there's. That's my roadmap. So these are my rules, my roadmap to happy. But then I have the same thing for confidence. Not feeling confident today. Why? Oh, I don't have clarity. When I don't have clarity, I feel unknowns. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't feel confident. Congruence. Am I doing something that's not aligned with who I really am? Competence? Am I just lacking confidence because I don't know what to do? You know something about this? Launching a book right now, right? Sometimes you lose confidence because you're like, I don't know. Like you said, I got to have a launch team. I got to have this. So anyway, I have all these things and then I have. Okay, I feel lost today. What am I really after? Oh, this is primary aspiration theory for those who have the high performance journal or planner. And it's just like, oh, we only have four goals as humans. We only have four goals. And once we realize, oh, I have four aspirations in life, so there's only four. One is our being aspirations. We want to be alive and we want to be congruent. Right? Our being. Like, how I feel I am being in the world. Like, you didn't realize you have a goal of how you want to be and feel in the world. Being goals, then we have relating goals. I want to relate with others in this way. I want to have relationships like this. I want to have a Team like. Like I how we relate with the world and others. Then we have creating goals. I want to contribute this. I want to build this. I want to progress this thing. And then we have growth goals around that. Growth goals which is always in the middle, growing. That's it. Everything you want in life comes back to a state of being, a state of relating with other people, a state of creating something, doing something like that. What we call meaningful pursuits. And then the desire to just get better. Mastery, competence, skill. That's it. Whenever you're like, I don't know what I want, that's all you want. You can break it down in a million different ways. So I'll look at that. I'm sorry for all the framework breakdown, y', all, but this is the stuff we do in growth day, but we go deep on this stuff. So I hope you enjoyed a little bit of that. I so the point of this for you all isn't for you to teach mine. It's you should have a board that tells you how to get confident. It tells you how to be happier. That tells you how to be an awesome wife. Mom, dad, brother, leader. Like, something that you. I stand in front of that every day. I want. If I look at your board on your wall, I don't want to see pictures or your calendar. I want to see your process. What are your values on the journey? What are the protocols that you run when you get frustrated or upset? Like yesterday I showed my reaction card. It's like, oh, here's when I. When I overreact, when I'm upset about something, it's literally like, do these six things. It will help you. Oh, right. Because in the moment, you forget that and you act. Well, me, if I forget that, I act stupid. I act like a child. I get upset. I. I screw off the day instead of, like reorienting myself to some protocols, some rules. Because everything you've dealt with in life and everything you're going to deal with, you probably already know the best way to deal with that. You just need the reminder when it's happening. Okay, my friend, I hope you enjoyed this episode of the brendon show. Tell some people about this episode. It's on each of us to spread positivity and empowerment during these times of chaos and negativity. Right? So I'm asking you to be the dealer of hope and personal growth and education in your tribe. So take a screenshot right now and share the screenshot and this link to this episode with three of your friends today. Post it on social media use the hashtag growthday. That's growthday, because that's the name of my company and we're always giving away prizes to our community. If you'd like to help me personally, then please rate and review the podcasts on Apple Podcasts. Give us some stars. Cheer us on. Leave a review. Because believe it or not, that stuff actually really does help. And I read all of them. So my last thought for today Please remember, you are stronger than you think and the future holds good things for you. Tomorrow can be an inspired day. Every new morning is a second chance. Every day is a great day to grow. We're thankful to have you here in the Growth Day community, so be sure to go deeper with us@growthday.com.
Sam.