Best Of 2021: Rejection

Why don't people get momentum? Well, they fail to do these things. They fear these things, and they get frustrated with the basics. They get frustrated with other people's doubt. Listen, maybe the most important thing you can write down today, that's probably stalling your motivation, your drive, your momentum. It's this one. Others doubt. You get so frustrated that other people don't understand me. They don't understand me. She doesn't get it. They're stupid. They don't know how hard I work. Na, na, na. All you complain about all the other people, and that poisons your motivation. Never be frustrated with that. Here's the best thing I ever learned from one of our high performance subjects that we studied for the High Performance Institute. Don't expect that everyone has to understand your dream. Notice it doesn't say don't expect that they have to approve. Don't expect they'll have to come along. They don't even have to understand it. Why do you think other people have to get you? I have no expectation that any of you are going. I really understand why Brendan is like, the way he is. I'm weird as hell. Why I have no expectation of any person around me understanding my goals, my dreams, my hopes. Right? I see this so many times in high performers where they're in a continual battle with their spouse because they feel like their spouse should get it, should support, do all these things. And I'm here to tell you, you want to know how to get your spouse to support you on your dreams. Stop expecting that they're supposed to drop everything and believe in you completely and understand every day that you have and coddle you every time you have a bad day and understand all your enemies and help you with every single task. They're a person. Your friends are persons, your teams are persons. They got their own hopes and dreams, man. Like, the greatest way to advance is to release the need to have everyone understand you. Because soon as you can let that go, this one goes out the door. As soon as you can let that go, it becomes about your life again. Like, stop trying to brute force or argue everybody into believing your dreams, your hopes, your ambitions, or even your day. How many of you get frustrated when the kids come home from work and they don't understand the big day you had? How many of you get frustrated when the spouse says something and doesn't understand the complex financial difficulties that are going on in your life? My God, how can you not understand? All you have to do is laundry. Ah, like, what? What? Come on, get over That I don't expect anybody to understand, support, champion, anything that I do. In personal development, we call it this crazy phrase that, you know, came out of like the 1800s that people don't like very much called, you know, self reliance. Like, I'm in charge of me. I don't expect anybody to understand me. I'm weird, I'm from another planet, I'm different, so are you. I don't understand you. We all want to be understood so completely. And because we want to be understood so completely, we stop our very momentum when someone doesn't understand even a piece of us, they don't understand enough of me, I'm going to stop. And that's the mindset that destroys progress. Because I promise you, if you had a habit at the beginning of the year and you lost momentum on it, I bet somewhere along the way you let somebody else put a kibosh on that habit, wasn't you. You believed in it, you saw it, you felt it, you knew it was important, but you stopped because of reaction of another person. Either you felt like they just didn't support you or they didn't approve you, or they didn't get it right. How many of us had a dream and we went into an office and we said, I got this idea and someone said, well, that's stupid. And we stopped progress towards the idea. What's stupid is stopping progress towards our own idea because of what other people think. I think it's really important to understand that other people doubting you or not understanding you is normal. And so I'm used to it when people shoot down my ideas. I'm like, of course they would do that. I don't get mad at them. They're in their own perspective. But if you've stopped any momentum in your life, you need to analyze where did I stop positive momentum in my life because of the needs I wanted from another person? She didn't understand, they didn't approve. So I've stopped my dream. Look, and I share this very, very confident and strong standpoint with you because look, my first book was turned down by 19 plus publishers. I always say that now because I only knew about about 19 of them. And my agent now jokes on my stages. When he comes and speaks, he'll make a joke. He's like, well, actually it was more than Brendan knew. I just didn't think he could have take another one. And I was like, dude, if I survived 19, I was going to survive 20, right? We all think that people are so much more weak than they really are. And the reality is I didn't care. I was going to self publish the book if a major publisher didn't get it. So it's not about other people. Like with Motivation Manifesto, this book right here, some of you guys know, I mean, this is an epic, epic, epic story. The development of this book in every single way. My publisher hated it. They turned down the book. They asked for the money. They gave me a bunch of money. I turned the book in. They didn't like it. They didn't get it at all. Totally not. And think about how angry I could get about that. They didn't get it at all, so they asked for the money back. And how easy would have been like, oh, book must suck. Or maybe this project's not right for me and I could have quit. And instead I said, I don't really. I'm going to. I'm going to keep going ahead. I had to get the money to pay them back. Then I released the book. And because of you all, that motivation manifesto did. 32 weeks on the New York Times best seller list. A book that they said was unmarketable. 32 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list. Now, as of today, anyway, the best selling title of motivation in this century. That's crazy, right? That's insane. The book that was rejected. So just don't worry about other people's doubting. Don't get frustrated with it. You should never, ever complain that other people doubt you, ever. Because you're an adult and you should have learned by now. Lots of people are going to question you. Get over it. Next, step number two. No one wants hardship. My statement for all of you, and I will say it forever, in high performance training, you must honor the struggle. Honor. Honor the hardships of getting better. Do not hate the hardships of getting better. If you constantly applying negative energy to the process, the process will create something negative. If you keep creating positive energy on the process, the process will output something positive. Makes sense, right? It's logical. It's math. It's science, ladies and gentlemen. I think it's science. I never took many science classes, but, you know, I think that's very true. It's this, this and this. Enjoy the journey. Honor the difficulties as character challenges. These things are set here to forge a better me, not to diminish me. Different mindset, right? A lot of people go, oh, all these things. Look at all these hard things in my life. It must mean I'm on the wrong track. It must mean I'm not good enough. It must Mean, I'm never going to get my due. I. I'm like, ooh. All those hard things are placed there for you to get stronger. That's it. You walk into a gym and you look at all those heavy weights. All those heavy weights are the path to strength. Same thing in life. All these heavy things you're dealing with, either those heavy things are going to break you or they're going to make you stronger. And it's all up here. Honor the struggle. Next up, number three, speed. People get so impatient, they get frustrated with the amount of speed that they're having. I'm not achieving my goals enough, Brennan, so I must be on the wrong path. I'm like, what do you mean? Well, you know, I set out four years ago to become a millionaire and, you know, I'm at $890,000. I'm like, sounds good to me. What's the big deal? Well, I wanted it in four seconds. I'm like, well, you know, okay, you know, but people are so in a hurry that they're not allowing time. Like, if you see the amount of time that I allow into my life, even though, look, I'm very focused on momentum, I'm very focused on progress, but I allow tons of time. I don't get frustrated with speed. I'm never impatient. I'm like, I will get there because I can see beyond this moment a little slower than I want right now. That's okay. Because you know what? I know next year that momentum builds and the year after that and the year after that and the year after that. I just know the momentum keeps building, man. So it doesn't bother me, right? When you're on a 10 year plan, one bad week does not slow you down. When you can see the end game, when you're willing to put in the work over and over and over and over again, you won't lose momentum. But people lose momentum because one thing is hard or they're not getting ahead fast enough. But momentum doesn't have to be a, you know, gigantic rock, you know, just speeding along. Like some days momentum is, you got that thing one more inch, man. Some people don't understand that momentum can be just one more inch. And once you understand that, you're in the game, one more inch, man. Fast momentum. Sometimes, depending on where you're at, what you're working on, what you're struggling with, it's just, I'm going to show up every day and do the best I can. And that sometimes is momentum. You showing up and doing the Best you can, day after day after day after day. Even if the best you can is diminished because of your health or you're busy or something else. Those things add up. They become. I mean, it's that snowball effect, right? Or that compound effect that just goes and goes and goes and grows and grows and grows from little momentum. So stop thinking momentum is million dollars after two days, right? Stop thinking so huge. Sometimes it's like one inch at a time. Hey, it's Brendan. And I want to jump in the middle of this episode here real quick and tell you about something I'm really excited about and something that answers a question that many of you have for me all the time, which is, Brendan, where do you get this crazy focus and energy in your life? And the truth is, I've developed a supplement line that really helps me do that. And frankly, I needed to. I don't know about you, but sometimes when you're trying to achieve big things, a lot of stress comes along. And as you're trying to achieve bigger things, you need to be on your A game more often. You need to be mentally sharp, you need to be mentally prepared. You need to be mentally energized and productive. And not once in a while, but like every day, you have to be on. And sometimes guzzling more coffee isn't going to do it. You have to use what we call Nootropics, which are basically supplements that help optimize your brain. And yes, we have a product for exactly that. It's called HPEX Optimized, and it is our most popular product. And you can get it. It's back in stock@HPX wellness.com that's HPX wellness.com you'll find HPEX Optimize for your mental focus and energy there. You'll also find my favorite powdered energy drink that we created, this 100% organic and vegan. And you'll find my essentials, which is my daily multi that I take that covers my energy, that covers my longevity, that covers my immunity, that covers my brain and body health that I absolutely love. And you will feel the difference. Go to HPX Wellness.com right now. HPX Wellness.com and last piece is this one. Discipline. People get frustrated because they're not disciplined enough, so they hate on themselves. And the next morning they wake up and they unconsciously don't like themselves because they beat themselves up so much, they think, I'm not disciplined. I know some of you came here because it's like, hey, look, we're talking about habits and why it's so hard to maintain them. This is why it's so hard to maintain good habits. Think about any habit you said at the beginning of the year. The reason you're not sticking at it is on this page. I promise you, if you set a new goal or new habit or new discipline on the beginning of this year, it's on here. And one of the reasons you might not be keeping momentum as much as you want is this guy. You beat yourself up, you go, I'm so frustrated. I don't have more discipline. So I guess I won't get any more discipline. It's funny, sometimes the things that we accuse ourselves of stop us from having those very things. I should be more confident. I hate myself. Well, how are you going to get more confident if you keep hating yourself for not being confident? Like it's just this horrible mindset that they get stuck in, like a merry go round of stupidity. You know, it's like you got to be careful there. Look, if you don't have more discipline, you can't get frustrated with yourself. What you need to do is get clear. So let's say you had a big dream. And what I'd like you to do in your journal right now is write down, what is that big dream? Like what's the biggest goal that you set this year? Like the biggest one? Just write that down. People tell me all the time, brenna, I got this dream or this goal. I'm like, great, what 30 minute period of day are you gonna work on it today? What do you mean? You said you have a big goal, right? Yeah. Big idea, right? Yeah. Okay, show me. When's the 30 minute block that that thing gets? Today? It's a new idea you say, right? Yeah. Okay, where is it? Is it 1:30 to 2? Is it 4 to 4:30? Is he going to check it at 5 right after work till 5:30, then get on the commute a little later. Like when new ideas must have new blocks of time. Write it down. New ideas must have new blocks of time. If you got a new idea someday, someday, big dream and it doesn't land in the calendar, at least listen. Daily, 30 minute, daily block of time. Of course you're not going to get momentum. It's got to be. Look, if you won't give something 30 minutes a day, it don't matter to you. Just be honest. Like any good parent will tell you this. Like if you don't spend 30 minutes with your kids a day, I mean, good luck in having that connection. Good luck in forging that future, good luck in helping that person feel loved and supported. I mean, if something is important to you, you give it time. Is it true? So if this idea is important to you, immediate mindset, this is what I immediately do. 30 minutes. And if it's a completely new idea, it's got to get at least 30 minutes if I want it to actually come true. And it's important from the time I set the idea the next day, it gets 30 minutes. When something disrupts you, acknowledge that it disrupts you and immediately ask, okay, what do I need to do to recover from this disruption? I know it's so basic, but listen, what ends up happening in any open environment is someone can disrupt you, can interrupt you. Same thing at work, same thing at your house. The kids come in the house, my spouse comes in all the time, says something, and I'm in the middle of something when that happens, know it and go, oh, I just been disrupted from this thing. What's the first thing I need to do to get back on track? And for me, it's usually a place thing. Like, you know, like, my lady will come home, I'll go out to greet her, catch up, what's going on with you? And everything else like that. But I recognized, like, okay, I was doing something. What do I need to do right now to get back on track? And for me, it's like, get your butt back in the office. Take the first step to get back to your workstation. Take the first step to put the headphones back on. Take the first step to jump back into the presentation or the email or the marketing thing you're doing. For me, it's just like, what is that next step to get back? Because what happens is if you get distracted and you don't ask that, you come back and you just start doing well, I guess I'll do email. I guess I'll surf. Because if you don't have clarity of what to do first, when you come back, you'll browse, you'll consume, you'll get off track. So always know when you've been disrupted, Immediately trigger, what's the first step when I'm back? And just get on that. Because if you win that one first step back, you'll get momentum back into that. Sam.