Best Of: Dealing With Transitions Well

Foreign. Hey my friends, it's Brendon Burchard and welcome to a best of edition of the Brendan show. These best of episodes feature training that I have done live, sometimes online to of thousands of people or live on stage where I was speaking on some.

Stages across the world.

Or these might be some of my monthly training programs and highlights of those that I do every single month with our monthly students.

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Enjoy these because these are a little bit more of a deep dive look at some of my training as a personal and professional development trainer. You know, I focus so much on helping you find that deeper level of motivation and start practicing some of those high performance habits.

Well, you hear me talk about many.

Of those concepts from in these special episodes here. These are my best of trainings only and exclusively right here on the Brendon show. So I hope you enjoyed them. Please note that as you hear me speak in many of these, you'll hear me reference something because sometimes I'll have been training live or on video or on stage or through a broadcast. So you might not be able to see something I'm suggesting or motioning to or maybe even drawing out on a flip chart or motioning towards on a presentation, but you'll get the gist of it. So make sure you bust out your journal. Take some good notes here because this is really valuable insights on the mindset or the strategies that you need to adopt in order to improve your life. And if you want to go and get more content like this, but much more deeper and have more of an interactive relationship with me in this type of training, make sure you join our high performance monthly training program. That's our monthly subscription program where I go live with you and our high performance students every single month and I train on a new topic or a.

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But without further ado, let's jump in right now to one of the Brendon show's best of trainings.

How do you deal with transitions? Well, you know, maybe you're transitioning from, from one part of Your business to another one career to another one relationship to another one sort of level of life, to another level of life. Whether that's by income or hope or dreams or just performance. How do you do it? Well, if you're gonna start something new, how do you make that transition successful and feel good about it? Whether it's you're moving to a new town, you're starting college, or you're just truly beginning a brand new business. I got ideas for you today that will make that transition feel a little more smooth, a little more graceful, a little more controllable. Because that's what scares us about transition, right? The unknown. That's why most people never make a major change in their life. They're scared about trying something new. They're worried they're going to lose something that they already really enjoyed and loved, or that they're going to deal with a lot of hardships in that transition. Or they feel like, well, if I try the transition, it might not turn out well. All of those worries are what we call fear. So how do we make that transition? Well, Know your whys. Why are you really making the transition? What did you not like and what are you hoping for?

Now, let me begin with those.

They're really important. A lot of people I like to talk about today, they kind of job hop, you know, like, ah, this job was good, but this job is getting better and they just hop to that job and then they're there. Ah, well, this is good. I got this new opportunity. They hop and they're kind of hopping laterally all the time, but never necessarily up or higher, or even if they're moving up or higher, they keep finding themselves less and less satisfied, even though they work harder and earn more. And that is because their transition wasn't clear. They were always just going for the next new in front of them, bigger, better deal. It's like, oh, a new opportunity, better than what I got now. I'll take it. And there's no thought, there's no real conscious intention there. And that's why they struggle. And I bet you've had that too.

In your own life.

We've all had that. If we've had multiple relationships in our past, right. If you've ever been dating and you're dating one person, you found somebody else, well, I'll date this other person. But that didn't work out well. And you're kind of just dating a couple people and you didn't really have any intention to it. You, you were just transitioning from one person. To another person. But you were always carrying your own stuff with you. You were always kind of hitting the same snags or it just never felt any more vibrant or amazing sometimes. And that happens in people's careers and relationship because the lack of knowing why aren't they satisfied where they are now? So if you're in transition right now between careers, as an example, you're leaving one, why did you not stay there? Like literally, what's your list of the reasons you didn't stay there? Or what's your list of why you weren't satisfied? Or why you didn't love it as much? What's your list of why you're leaving? Being razor clear about that, because otherwise you just keep carrying on all of that to the next thing. There's no ever continual growth or real improvement. There's just constant transition. And constant transition without improvement is what I call chaos. You know, it's just like constant effort. But we're not moving anywhere. We're not having any progress or even any real momentum. It's just like constant change for no real growth. And so I want you to know a couple things. Why don't you want this in this transition you're facing? Why do you want this? There's got to be a real compelling reason to go with this new thing. Otherwise, don't go with the thing if you're not clear why this person is going to be great for you in a relationship. Don't jump headlong into the relationship if you're not clear why this new business venture would be amazing for you and help you activate your creative contributions, your real service or your real growth in the world. Don't do it just because it's there. That's the number one mistake people make in transitions. They transition just because there's something there. And that distinction helps so much. You know, that distinction of not transitioning just because something's there and it seems a little better. See, all transitions should happen in a broader sort of global ambition or purpose that if you're going to change relationships, it's not just so that you get somebody who's cuter, because that's not going to drive a lot of necessarily comfort or ease or even success in that relationship for you. It has to be, I want a lifestyle like this. My dream relationship is like this. Now I'm going to start seeking people in the context of that. My dream career is like this. I'm going to seek to transition to something that is moving me up towards that dream transition versus just saying, well, this one's better than that one. That's why people struggle. And I really want to nail this down for you. I want this to be really felt for you. Don't mess this up. If you're unsure of why you are transitioning, very, very, very deeply, consider why you're transitioning. Like it's time to think that through. Are you just transitioning because you got restless? Because that's not a good enough reason. You got bored? That's not a good enough reason. We need to know what is this thing we are transitioning to that fits into the overall new plan? If there's no overall new plan or purpose or ambition, then you're just changing for change sake. And those who change all the time just for change sake feel unfulfilled at the end of the day. Maybe it's new and exciting now, dropping some new dopamine. They feel excited by change. But a year from now, they're in the same place. There's no growth there, no clarity, no real change. So know your whys, why you're leaving. Why is this good for you? And why does this fit in the overall context of what you want? And that's the last thing. What is the bigger why? That bigger purpose, that bigger dream, that bigger ambition? Those three whys are like the trifecta of a good transition. Why am I leaving? Why does this fit? Why do I want this? And why does it fit into this overall thing? Why this big purpose for me? If you can start thinking through that, you'll make a better transition at the outset. You need to set up a support network. Think about going to college. One of the reasons you go there, and I don't know if you've ever had the experience of like, when I went to college, I remember that I had like built in a support network. I didn't know a lot of people when I went to the college I went to who were attending there, but I remember on our dorm, our floor had a resident assistant. And that resident assistant was kind of in charge of making sure we all didn't kill ourselves. And that RA ended up doing like movie nights and, and ended up doing planned activities. And that RA, who a lot of us liked or didn't like didn't matter. It created a camaraderie on the floor. And we were all going through school together. Some of us had the same classes together, but it was like we were all on this journey together. And it didn't matter if it was experiencing new dumb things and adventures and going out or if it Meant just like sitting in a hallway together, working on our class. It was like people going through something with you. That's really important in transitions. It's really important. It's why a lot of Fortune 50 senior executives I work with, when they go to a new company, they often bring three or four of their first, second, and third lieutenants that they used to work with, their other vice presidents or other people in their C suite with them to the new company. They have a transition team. They bring some people who. They're all in this new battle or war or fight or effort, and together. So who's your support network? You know, I don't care who it is, you need to have it. I remember sometimes I would move when I lived back in San Francisco, really started my consulting career back in the days after grad school. I moved in that town maybe six or seven times. And I had this group of friends that every time I moved and every time they moved, we would all support each other. We'd literally all decide on what days we're going to move and try to figure out the days that we're all going to move. We would all show up, we'd SWAT team, we'd all move each other, and then we would all make sure that we hosted, helped the person unpack and get everyone set up, and then we would host a party the next night at that place. And it was just like we set up. And it made all these moves. I was never intimidated by the move because I had these people that we were going to move with. Someone had to start that ball rolling, and a friend of mine had started that, and it just worked. It made it easy to move something that most people find incredibly stressful. I had a group of guys, this is what we did, because we recognized we'd be moving around a lot because San Francisco was so expensive in rent back then. Well, think about the same thing, whether it's in college or the work world or your daily life. I also tell people about this. In your relationships, if you've just gone through a breakup and you're entering a new relationship, I would hope that you got a group of girlfriends or friends or pals that you go to lunch with and. And you're sharing with them. You have a group of friends who are very clear on why the hell you got out of that relationship, why you're excited about this new person. And in this support network, you're just talking about how you can have a better quality of relationship, because that's what ultimately a support network does. Is they're going through it with you, they're sharing ideas, they're giving feedback and that is allowing you to have an outside sort of observance of yourself through this transition. The hardest transitions are those we go alone. You know, it's like the worst idea. I've never really done anything new without somebody there. Even this video right now. My main man, Travis Shields from Shields Films, sitting over here. If you ever need somebody to help shoot your launch videos, there's a link down below this video. He's happy to help you do that. And I'll just share with you this. When I started saying I'm going to go big into video, I'm going to do a lot of them, it was like one of the first people I started working with because I knew I needed a support network to do this because I was doing it alone for a while and I sucked. It wasn't just that I couldn't figure out the skill set of it. It was. I knew I needed somebody there. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes if you're gonna go big on a new transition or something, you need somebody there, somebody who's got either competencies you don't have or just a presence for you or. Or just somebody who is gonna push you. But you need people. And the longer you believe that you don't need people, the more frustrating it is. I've learned this too as I'm transitioning our brand from one level to another level I can share with you. As I start thinking about that next level of growth, I'd be like, I need to bring on a new team. And that was like a big, huge decision. And I didn't wanna do it. But I knew to transition to another level, you need another level of support. So please start thinking about that consciously. Whether you're bringing friends or family into the mix, bringing old co workers in the mix, or you're just going to hire some new people, it's time to get some more support.

All right, my friend, I hope that you enjoyed that best of episode. Was that inspiring? Were you fired up?

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Like you just heard.

But we do that every single month and there's some live Q and A there and I do some giveaways and we give students in that monthly program tickets to my seminars and some extra special training on leadership. So make sure you check it out@brendon.com monthly. I appreciate you being part of this community of so many people dedicated to finding that deeper drive of motivation and practicing high performance habits so that they can become extraordinary in their careers. In your personal life, in your health, you can live an extraordinary quality of life. And sometimes you just need a little bit more training and a little bit more nudge, a little bit more energy, a little bit more drive and consistency. And I'm hoping that being part of this community with the Brendon show, I'm providing that to you in some way. So thank you, my friend, for listening. I look forward to seeing you or listening with you on the next episode of the B R E N D O N show.